[QUOTE=twoski;39392447]i have a really... Interesting situation on my hands. If anyone here has a similar story/experience could you let me know how it turned out?
Ok so background: I met this girl on Okcupid and we hit it off so we met up and went out for drinks. Things went well. 2 dates later we went back to my place and got naked etc.
We text all the time and we get along great. We've only been seeing eachother sparsely as of these last 2 weeks (like once or less a week) but the mutual attraction is just so obvious. I want to step this up into a relationship and i've been waiting for a night when it would be good to sit and have a little chat with her to see what she's looking for (her profile says she wants a relationship so i'm assuming that'll be her response).
I've gotten to know a lot about her since we first started talking:
- I'm the youngest guy she's ever dated. She was once in a relationship with a 40+ year old man. She's 20 now.
- She seems to have some esteem problems. She won't hesitate to note that she's nothing special, shrugs off complements, etc.
- She's kinky. In a previous relationship she had a pile of sex toys (she left them with her ex) and she's very open minded. She had a swingers profile on AdultFriendFinder with her ex and they were looking to have a threesome with another girl but it never happened.
- She denies it, but she's made it painfully obvious that she's bi.
None of this really phased me, it's not my place to judge her previous relationships and i'm no saint either. But recently (a week ago) she mentioned she was casually browsing the swingers site for fun on her old profile. I thought nothing of it. Today she told me that a girl in her late late 20's has been messaging her on this site. And she sent me a topless photo of the girl. She told me that she messaged the girl and told her she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore and the girl wanted to meet up. So she told the girl she wants to meet up next week for coffee.
So this is where a giant fucking red flag is popping up in my head. She's just casually texting me about how she met this girl on a swingers website and is excited to go meet up with this girl that she basically wants to fool around with/fuck. We're going to meet up sometime this week so i have the chance to tell her that i really want to step up our relationship to the next level. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship then i'm basically going to tell her that i'm finished (she knows that i'm not just looking for someone to have sex with). Am i justified in being a little disconcerted with the current turn of events? I have no doubt that she's still very attracted to me but this whole recent swingers site thing has made me wonder what exactly she's looking for. Does she want a relationship, and if so, does she think this casual encounter with some random older girl from the internet is kosher? Because it's giving me weird vibes.
The opportunist in me says that i should try and turn this into a threesome but the grounded side of me says that this needs to be discussed at our next date before i make any further commitments.
Actually, you know what, that would be really fucking weird. We've had sex once, there's no way in hell i'm ready to just up and have a threesome with some random internet swinger girl and her. I mean physically i could do it but that's a really fucked up way to kick off a relationship.[/QUOTE]
You're looking for a relationship, she's putting you up the ride of your life and it seems to me that you're falling for it.
She's probably very manipulative. It's obvious she doesn't want a relationship yet she advertises as she wants one, probably to catch up dedicated men who will stick by her a little while longer.
Don't fall for that. You want a relationship, not sexual adventures with strangers you met online. It could be anything but I wouldn't call that woman the love of your life.
"wants a relationship"
- has issues ... lots of them.
Don't be the one to fix them.
So, make it clear to her as soon as possible about what you want, what you feel and what you're going to do. If she still agrees on promoting herself on this sex website, which you obviously feel uncomfortable with, just tell her that you want her out of that life if she ever wants to stay with you.
It's simple.
[QUOTE=newbs;39396525]She probably already knows the girl and is just using you for meat between their sandwich.
Not that that's a bad thing. But she's lying to you.[/QUOTE]
Nah she sent me the girl's profile pictures from AFF. I doubt anyone would go through the trouble of making a profile there just for the sake of fooling me. It's not like i would be against a threesome, this early in a relationship would be a bit weird though.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;39396916]You're looking for a relationship, she's putting you up the ride of your life and it seems to me that you're falling for it.
She's probably very manipulative. It's obvious she doesn't want a relationship yet she advertises as she wants one, probably to catch up dedicated men who will stick by her a little while longer.
Don't fall for that. You want a relationship, not sexual adventures with strangers you met online. It could be anything but I wouldn't call that woman the love of your life.
"wants a relationship"
- has issues ... lots of them.
Don't be the one to fix them.
So, make it clear to her as soon as possible about what you want, what you feel and what you're going to do. If she still agrees on promoting herself on this sex website, which you obviously feel uncomfortable with, just tell her that you want her out of that life if she ever wants to stay with you.
It's simple.[/QUOTE]
You're making a lot of assumptions here. I'm not the type who is easily manipulated and so far she hasn't come close to doing that. Shit, she's even paid for more than her share of the stuff we've done on dates (she bought us movie tickets both times, and helped pay our bar tabs etc). If she was in this just to drain my wallet or for the sex then it would be much more apparent.
On our next date i'm gonna pretty much lay my cards on the table and see what she's thinking. If she doesn't want a relationship then that's it for me.
Maybe she really just wishes that she could have had that threesome she was planning with her last guy and because the situational opportunity has popped up, it's latched onto her brain. I mean, if I was really looking forward to something and the elements kinda fell together and worked at the moment, I would probably get pretty lost in the moment- meaning that she's likely thinking about how cool it would be to do this thing she wants, so she may have forgotten to stay out of tunnel-vision mode and check in on the rest of the world.
I'd just talk like you say you're going to. Could be fun and could be nothing. Communication is pretty much the solution to every social situation... But you seem to have it down pat, so it's not like you need advice. I just wanna hear how it goes!
Make sure to tell us.
[editline]29th January 2013[/editline]
And if she doesn't want a relationship, you could do the threesome, stay friends and have an neat female friend who's completely comfortable with any sort of boundaries. That's a nifty situation in and of itself.
[QUOTE=DarkendSky;39396449]you sound incredibly old-fashioned
do you wear bowties unironically at anything other than a wedding or opera night[/QUOTE]
There's nothing wrong with that. I'd feel uncomfortable with that situation as well.
(Venting/random string of thoughts being written out incoming)
Here goes:
I've been dating this girl for 3 months now and I'm crazy about her. She's drop dead gorgeous and has a great personality etc etc. Literally hits everything of my checklist, she may very well be perfect.
Whats the problem then, you ask?
I've got balls bluer than a sapphire.
We both go to the same college, and I see her every day. She's always chilling in my dorm, playing games or watching TV. This is awesome and I love that I get to see her all the time, I mean, this alone puts me in a better position than many of the people on this forum with long-distance relationships, and I'm not complaining. The problem with this is that she's also friends with all of my friends, who happen to all live in the same hall as me (one of them is my roommate). Again, don't get me wrong, this is a great group of guys and I love em to death. But they are around almost 24/7. Once we get started playing League of Legends every night, they don't wanna stop until the wee hours of the morning. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that my girlfriend loves to play League as well. Once she gets started, she doesn't want to stop and gets agitiated if I try to get her to do something else.
Writing this out, I feel like I'm complaining about having a gamer girlfriend. And again, don't get me wrong, it has it's benefits and can be great. But sometimes, it's a little too much, and it's seriously detracting from our intimate life. Like I said, we've been dating 3 months, and I'm lucky if I get a makeout session, let alone anything else, more than once a week. It may sound greedy, but I'm a horny college guy with a really hot girlfriend and one mild makeout session a week does not cut it, it's goddamn torture.
I just cannot get alone time with her at a time when she's not tired. Usually by the time I can get everyone to fuck off and convince my roommate to give me some private time in the room, she doesn't want to do anything but nap. It's really starting to get to me. The few times I have had a couple hours alone with her where she's not exhausted have been carefully thought out plans that miraculously went off without a snag. But the amount of successful times is far outweighed by the amount of failures.
On top of it all, she's a little awkward about intimacy, and gets all weirded out if I'm even slightly blunt about the subject (IE "Hey, wanna kick these guys out and have some alone time" etc etc)
I don't know what to do FP. I've sat down and discussed this with her a couple times and each time it's only sunk in for a day or two before shit goes back to its old ways.
I could really use some help.
So I'd like some serious advice now.
I'm 20 years old and never had a "real" relationship, only 2 long-distance relationships (4 if I count those in which I just got used). I seriously don't want to be single anymore.
[QUOTE=ShadowSocks8;39398768]Wall 'o text.[/QUOTE]
You should try to introduce her to outdoor-life a bit more. (If you are up for it yourself.)
I have a friend who had a similar case. He sort of started going out alone, seeing other people for couple of weeks. After a while his GF was starting to wonder where he was all the time, she sort of got lonely and told him about it, which he replied "You should meet my other friends, they're nice people."
Apparently that was all she needed, she got more friends and got more active with people because of that over couple of weeks. She also got an healthy sleep-schedule because of going out a lot. (She used to play until 3 am, no matter how early she had to attend to classes Doesn't do that anymore; goes to bed at around 11.)
If this is a success it would also solve the problem of not having privacy, she would be going out with you just by the 2 of you. You don't have to go to any specific place, you could just walk around the town for example.
You could try this out, but really depends on how hooked she is to LoL. (I have been in deepest shit about that game, I can understand how hard it is to get rid of it.)
Just go out alone just by saying that you're going for a walk, do it for a few days without saying anything else (unless asked: "where have you been?" where you just simply answer "having a walk") You get some time to clear your head too.
After you do that for a while try to ask her to join you. Make it seem that you like doing it, might aswell wake her interests towards it too (thus not agitating her on purpose). If she isn't coming with you, you should try something else. It's worth a shot though, worked well for my friend.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;39383263]Shit, dude, 3 years. I'm on my phone so I probably can't give you the reply that you might need right now (but then again, I don't think anyone but yourself could anyway) but I'll say this much: Girls and guys generally deal with shit like this very differently. Don't let her reaction, or apparent lack thereof, make it any harder for yourself than it has to be. Focus on yourself and just take it day by day, because I promise you, it can and does get easier. Stay strong, brother; there are brighter days ahead <3.[/QUOTE]
You're probably right. But I still love her more than life, she's been a big part of my life and when that gets taken away...
We were also pretty much best friends, playing xbox and drinking together. But she's such a beautiful girl, both on the inside and the outside.
[QUOTE=ShadowSocks8;39398768](Venting/random string of thoughts being written out incoming)
Here goes:
I've been dating this girl for 3 months now and I'm crazy about her. She's drop dead gorgeous and has a great personality etc etc. Literally hits everything of my checklist, she may very well be perfect.
Whats the problem then, you ask?
I've got balls bluer than a sapphire.
We both go to the same college, and I see her every day. She's always chilling in my dorm, playing games or watching TV. This is awesome and I love that I get to see her all the time, I mean, this alone puts me in a better position than many of the people on this forum with long-distance relationships, and I'm not complaining. The problem with this is that she's also friends with all of my friends, who happen to all live in the same hall as me (one of them is my roommate). Again, don't get me wrong, this is a great group of guys and I love em to death. But they are around almost 24/7. Once we get started playing League of Legends every night, they don't wanna stop until the wee hours of the morning. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that my girlfriend loves to play League as well. Once she gets started, she doesn't want to stop and gets agitiated if I try to get her to do something else.
Writing this out, I feel like I'm complaining about having a gamer girlfriend. And again, don't get me wrong, it has it's benefits and can be great. But sometimes, it's a little too much, and it's seriously detracting from our intimate life. Like I said, we've been dating 3 months, and I'm lucky if I get a makeout session, let alone anything else, more than once a week. It may sound greedy, but I'm a horny college guy with a really hot girlfriend and one mild makeout session a week does not cut it, it's goddamn torture.
I just cannot get alone time with her at a time when she's not tired. Usually by the time I can get everyone to fuck off and convince my roommate to give me some private time in the room, she doesn't want to do anything but nap. It's really starting to get to me. The few times I have had a couple hours alone with her where she's not exhausted have been carefully thought out plans that miraculously went off without a snag. But the amount of successful times is far outweighed by the amount of failures.
On top of it all, she's a little awkward about intimacy, and gets all weirded out if I'm even slightly blunt about the subject (IE "Hey, wanna kick these guys out and have some alone time" etc etc)
I don't know what to do FP. I've sat down and discussed this with her a couple times and each time it's only sunk in for a day or two before shit goes back to its old ways.
I could really use some help.[/QUOTE]
How about you talk to your friends about it and ask them if you both could have some more privacy, there is no wrong in asking them. Also you might want to go out more often with your girlfriend, doing something. Doing a sport, cinema, grab some food, playing lasertag, some pool, concerts and whatnot. That way she might stop playing so much and spent more time with you alone. Having a real tough talk might be bad that early in a relationship.
I wish the best of luck to you.
[QUOTE=roxter;39399924]You're probably right. But I still love her more than life, she's been a big part of my life and when that gets taken away...
We were also pretty much best friends, playing xbox and drinking together. But she's such a beautiful girl, both on the inside and the outside.[/QUOTE]
Investing 3 years into anything and losing it is going to hurt, dude. I've personally never been with anyone for that long so I won't begin to try and say that I understand exactly where you're at right now, but I can say that it's going to take a lot of effort on your behalf to move forwards from this. You'll have good days and you'll have bad days but as long as you genuinely believe within yourself that you can find happiness again, that you know you'll love again, that you'll know there are others out there worth your time and care, then you'll get to the other side of this sooner rather than later. Start investing back into yourself in the meantime. Pick up hobbies that you might have neglected. Read more, write more, spend more time with your friends; fall in love with yourself again, y'know?
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1220984&p=39376273&viewfull=1#post39376273"]I wrote a post[/URL] recently in the other thread which I just looked back on, and I think some of the things I mentioned there might hold some relevance to where you're at right now. It's there if you're interested. Just keep moving forward, man. You'll get there, you will.
[QUOTE=ShadowSocks8;39398768](Venting/random string of thoughts being written out incoming)
Here goes:
I've been dating this girl for 3 months now and I'm crazy about her. She's drop dead gorgeous and has a great personality etc etc. Literally hits everything of my checklist, she may very well be perfect.
Whats the problem then, you ask?
I've got balls bluer than a sapphire.
We both go to the same college, and I see her every day. She's always chilling in my dorm, playing games or watching TV. This is awesome and I love that I get to see her all the time, I mean, this alone puts me in a better position than many of the people on this forum with long-distance relationships, and I'm not complaining. The problem with this is that she's also friends with all of my friends, who happen to all live in the same hall as me (one of them is my roommate). Again, don't get me wrong, this is a great group of guys and I love em to death. But they are around almost 24/7. Once we get started playing League of Legends every night, they don't wanna stop until the wee hours of the morning. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that my girlfriend loves to play League as well. Once she gets started, she doesn't want to stop and gets agitiated if I try to get her to do something else.
Writing this out, I feel like I'm complaining about having a gamer girlfriend. And again, don't get me wrong, it has it's benefits and can be great. But sometimes, it's a little too much, and it's seriously detracting from our intimate life. Like I said, we've been dating 3 months, and I'm lucky if I get a makeout session, let alone anything else, more than once a week. It may sound greedy, but I'm a horny college guy with a really hot girlfriend and one mild makeout session a week does not cut it, it's goddamn torture.
I just cannot get alone time with her at a time when she's not tired. Usually by the time I can get everyone to fuck off and convince my roommate to give me some private time in the room, she doesn't want to do anything but nap. It's really starting to get to me. The few times I have had a couple hours alone with her where she's not exhausted have been carefully thought out plans that miraculously went off without a snag. But the amount of successful times is far outweighed by the amount of failures.
On top of it all, she's a little awkward about intimacy, and gets all weirded out if I'm even slightly blunt about the subject (IE "Hey, wanna kick these guys out and have some alone time" etc etc)
I don't know what to do FP. I've sat down and discussed this with her a couple times and each time it's only sunk in for a day or two before shit goes back to its old ways.
I could really use some help.[/QUOTE]
Chill out already - you've only been going out for 3 months. Maybe she just needs to ease into it. 3 months isn't a lot, you're hardly even boyfriend/girlfriend yet.
[quote]discussed this with her a couple times and each time it's only sunk in for a day or two before shit goes back to its old ways. [/quote]
If you're not doing anything with these opportunities she'll think you don't want to do anything, so she'll just go back to her old ways. There must be someplace you can go, what about hers?
[QUOTE=ShadowSocks8;39398768](Venting/random string of thoughts being written out incoming)
Here goes:
I've been dating this girl for 3 months now and I'm crazy about her. She's drop dead gorgeous and has a great personality etc etc. Literally hits everything of my checklist, she may very well be perfect.
Whats the problem then, you ask?
I've got balls bluer than a sapphire.
We both go to the same college, and I see her every day. She's always chilling in my dorm, playing games or watching TV. This is awesome and I love that I get to see her all the time, I mean, this alone puts me in a better position than many of the people on this forum with long-distance relationships, and I'm not complaining. The problem with this is that she's also friends with all of my friends, who happen to all live in the same hall as me (one of them is my roommate). Again, don't get me wrong, this is a great group of guys and I love em to death. But they are around almost 24/7. Once we get started playing League of Legends every night, they don't wanna stop until the wee hours of the morning. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that my girlfriend loves to play League as well. Once she gets started, she doesn't want to stop and gets agitiated if I try to get her to do something else.
Writing this out, I feel like I'm complaining about having a gamer girlfriend. And again, don't get me wrong, it has it's benefits and can be great. But sometimes, it's a little too much, and it's seriously detracting from our intimate life. Like I said, we've been dating 3 months, and I'm lucky if I get a makeout session, let alone anything else, more than once a week. It may sound greedy, but I'm a horny college guy with a really hot girlfriend and one mild makeout session a week does not cut it, it's goddamn torture.
I just cannot get alone time with her at a time when she's not tired. Usually by the time I can get everyone to fuck off and convince my roommate to give me some private time in the room, she doesn't want to do anything but nap. It's really starting to get to me. The few times I have had a couple hours alone with her where she's not exhausted have been carefully thought out plans that miraculously went off without a snag. But the amount of successful times is far outweighed by the amount of failures.
On top of it all, she's a little awkward about intimacy, and gets all weirded out if I'm even slightly blunt about the subject (IE "Hey, wanna kick these guys out and have some alone time" etc etc)
I don't know what to do FP. I've sat down and discussed this with her a couple times and each time it's only sunk in for a day or two before shit goes back to its old ways.
I could really use some help.[/QUOTE]
All things considered you're still pretty goddamn lucky. Be more physical with her in your everyday routines, ease her into the kind of relationship you want to have. It sounds like you're both kind of awkward when it comes to sex... Maybe she's one of those girls that doesn't want to have sex all that often or maybe she's just playing too much LoL (i stopped playing because that game is just a huge time sink and nothing good comes from it). If she's too tired for sex then bite the bullet and eat her out and maybe she'll start to see your angle. This would also put you in a better position when you need to talk about who's doing the work in this relationship.
Don't make this just about sex if you're discussing it with her. Because that could very well come out wrong and end up hurting her or turning her off even more. If you ever talk to her about it, make it about intimacy. Because it's a broad term and frankly it sounds like your relationship is missing intimacy.
So I'm in a serious predicament.
I'll be finishing dental school soon and opening a private practice, meaning I'm going to be earning a shit ton of money.
The only problem I see with this is how it's gonna the dating scene.
How do I know if a girl likes me or likes my money?
Don't boast about your money?
And I'm not implying you're boasting or would boast, but at first I wrote "Don't tell them" but then again [i]withholding[/i] information could be seen as problematic in itself, other than that, trust your gut, watch yourself.
You should probably wait until you're actually making money before you worry about something so absolutely ridiculous.
It's not like the dating scene is crawling with gold diggers who can tell in an instant if you're a rich playboy dentist. And even if income is SOMEHOW brought up in conversation you don't have to tell them that you make 9 figures and you own a garage full of lambos.
[QUOTE=Mr. Zombie;39402912]So I'm in a serious predicament.
I'll be finishing dental school soon and opening a private practice, meaning I'm going to be earning a shit ton of money.
The only problem I see with this is how it's gonna the dating scene.
How do I know if a girl likes me or likes my money?[/QUOTE]
dentistry isn't exactly plastic surgery, pal. don't count your chickens before they hatch.
[QUOTE=DarkendSky;39405642]dentistry isn't exactly plastic surgery, pal. don't count your chickens before they hatch.[/QUOTE]
Actually, dentists earn a shitton of money. It's a highly profitable medical career.
[QUOTE=twoski;39397656]Nah she sent me the girl's profile pictures from AFF. I doubt anyone would go through the trouble of making a profile there just for the sake of fooling me. It's not like i would be against a threesome, this early in a relationship would be a bit weird though.
You're making a lot of assumptions here. I'm not the type who is easily manipulated and so far she hasn't come close to doing that. Shit, she's even paid for more than her share of the stuff we've done on dates (she bought us movie tickets both times, and helped pay our bar tabs etc). If she was in this just to drain my wallet or for the sex then it would be much more apparent.
On our next date i'm gonna pretty much lay my cards on the table and see what she's thinking. If she doesn't want a relationship then that's it for me.[/QUOTE]
Dude, I'm not assuming anything.
You're the one coming here supposedly uncomfortable with the fact that she has lots of sex toys at her ex and she wants to keep a swinger way of life and that she wants to keep her webpage at adult friend finder.
I'm not telling you to do anything specific other than what you already want to do, just don't be surprised if things don't turn out the way you want.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;39405879]Dude, I'm not assuming anything.
You're the one coming here supposedly uncomfortable with the fact that she has lots of sex toys at her ex and she wants to keep a swinger way of life and that she wants to keep her webpage at adult friend finder.
I'm not telling you to do anything specific other than what you already want to do, just don't be surprised if things don't turn out the way you want.[/QUOTE]
Well you made the statement that she's "manipulative" but i really haven't given any indication that this is her nature. She might be any number of other things, but certainly not manipulative given how she's treated me so far. I'm just trying to figure out how you were brought to that conclusion.
[QUOTE=DatWut?;39399405]So I'd like some serious advice now.
I'm 20 years old and never had a "real" relationship, only 2 long-distance relationships (4 if I count those in which I just got used). I seriously don't want to be single anymore.[/QUOTE]
It's time to take chances. You can't just wait for stuff to happen to you. You're gonna have to go out there and meet new people. Or, talk to your current friends and meet their friends which can be a lot more comfortable. But, I suggest going out and meeting new people. That way you'll leave your comfort zone and learn a lot when it comes to socializing.
Oh boy I fucked up hard.
She told me she didn't want to get laid. Heat of the moment, she asked if I had a condom...
I didn't. We still went with it.
My work's pharmacist says I should get her Plan B asap :/
fml
[QUOTE=twoski;39405946]Well you made the statement that she's "manipulative" but i really haven't given any indication that this is her nature. She might be any number of other things, but certainly not manipulative given how she's treated me so far. I'm just trying to figure out how you were brought to that conclusion.[/QUOTE]
Well, the thing that made me say that there's a probability of manipulation (hope not) is where you say that she gives a lot but still her life kinda deviates into those things. She's into sex a lot and with strangers. What guarantee do you have that she hadn't others like you?
And still, be her the best person you've met in a while, you still don't know her, and your thing is very fresh.
I'm just telling you to be careful here. My main goal is not to judge her (basically because I don't even know her), but still, once again you just met this girl, as great as she is, you don't know her yet.
It may be that her sexual behaviour is due to her unique personality and that she's one of a kind and all that, but still there's a high chance it isn't.
Also buying you tickets and helping you out in things doesn't mean that she loves you or that she's totally into you.
Personally I had women in my life that did the same and it ended up to be nothing.
But I'm just taking a wild guess here. Nothing is certain.
I surely hope she treats you right and that she proves to be a nice girl for you then.
[QUOTE=BackSapper;39406336]Oh boy I fucked up hard.
She told me she didn't want to get laid. Heat of the moment, she asked if I had a condom...
I didn't. We still went with it.
My work's pharmacist says I should get her Plan B asap :/
fml[/QUOTE]
Yeah, within 24 hours would be best. The longer you wait the less effective it is.
[QUOTE=BackSapper;39406336]Oh boy I fucked up hard.
She told me she didn't want to get laid. Heat of the moment, she asked if I had a condom...
I didn't. We still went with it.
My work's pharmacist says I should get her Plan B asap :/
fml[/QUOTE]
[url=http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Condom]get reading[/url]
[QUOTE=twoski;39401906]All things considered you're still pretty goddamn lucky. Be more physical with her in your everyday routines, ease her into the kind of relationship you want to have. It sounds like you're both kind of awkward when it comes to sex... Maybe she's one of those girls that doesn't want to have sex all that often or maybe she's just playing too much LoL (i stopped playing because that game is just a huge time sink and nothing good comes from it). If she's too tired for sex then bite the bullet and eat her out and maybe she'll start to see your angle. This would also put you in a better position when you need to talk about who's doing the work in this relationship.
Don't make this just about sex if you're discussing it with her. Because that could very well come out wrong and end up hurting her or turning her off even more. If you ever talk to her about it, make it about intimacy. Because it's a broad term and frankly it sounds like your relationship is missing intimacy.[/QUOTE]
Okay, "biting the bullet" is a disheartening thing to say about going down on someone. I know I loved to do that for my ex. It wasn't a 'mabe if I do this, she'll gimme what [i]I[/i] want too' sort of thing and it shouldn't be.
If anything, I'd say she's being a bum about the situation. She's probably more uncomfortable about sex than a lot of people are assuming and is avoiding it. If it's not that, then she's likely not really into it, hormonally.
It's definitely not her videogame addiction that's preventing her from wanting sex, from a direct sort of approach. I, and most users here would drop whatever game they were playing, even at the lowest depth of a gaming habit, if a beautiful girl who we knew and cared about came in and said "how about we take a break for some alone time".
My ex and I talked about sexual motivations when we were together and she explained that she didn't just get the urge as much as I did at all. She rarely did just have an urge to have sex with me out of the blue the way I did for her (and I'm assuming plenty of guys know this feeling?). She said, however, that when I was making it pretty obvious or when we were making out, she'd get turned on just as easily, and it was all good.
So maybe she's like my ex and just doesn't want to on her own, so her priorities, like games, take precedent when she's like that. So the games really just prevent the activities that [i]would[/i] make her want to more.
In any case, the best sounding thing that I can think of is to go on dates a lot more often. Spend time at parks and in woods and walking around the town/city. None of those cost money. Get her more active, not even in a physical sense, and she'll likely appreciate it. Maybe not, but I know that I'm much more happy DOING things rather than playing videogames, and was even when I thought that videogames were my favorite thing to do.
[editline]30th January 2013[/editline]
Oh crap, I just kept typing. Now no one will read that...
[editline]30th January 2013[/editline]
[b]to sum it up[/b], gently forcing sex on her is a terrible sounding idea, and you should instead strive to get her to do things besides LoL. Dates! The first time I actually had sex I was in a car, so it's not like you have to be at home for said intimacy to happen. It's not classy, but still...
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;39406887]Okay, "biting the bullet" is a disheartening thing to say about going down on someone. I know I loved to do that for my ex. It wasn't a 'mabe if I do this, she'll gimme what [i]I[/i] want too' sort of thing and it shouldn't be.[/quote]
I don't mean to imply that oral sex is a drag, i'm saying that he's biting the bullet by giving her oral sex and not expecting anything in return.
[quote]If anything, I'd say she's being a bum about the situation. She's probably more uncomfortable about sex than a lot of people are assuming and is avoiding it. If it's not that, then she's likely not really into it, hormonally. [/quote]
In all likelihood she probably just isn't very sexually active. If she's had sex several times before then this isn't an issue of "she's a noob at sex" or "she's nervous".
[quote]It's definitely not her videogame addiction that's preventing her from wanting sex,[/quote]
It could be. Addictions do interesting things to people.
[quote] I, and most users here would drop whatever game they were playing, even at the lowest depth of a gaming habit, if a beautiful girl who we knew and cared about came in and said "how about we take a break for some alone time".[/quote]
This definitely depends on the person. People have different priorities.
[QUOTE=BackSapper;39406336]Oh boy I fucked up hard.
She told me she didn't want to get laid. Heat of the moment, she asked if I had a condom...
I didn't. We still went with it.
My work's pharmacist says I should get her Plan B asap :/
fml[/QUOTE]
way to be man
So I'm going out with this girl friday night, and since we've showed a great interest in one another I'll try getting her in bed. Problem is I can't go back to mine (don't ask why, I just can't) and I know she can invite me to hers if she wanted to. Any tips on how to make her do that, or any subtle way I can ask her if I can come to her place?
she probably will ask me, but in case she doesn't
Hey. The guy dating the fire hydrant here.:v:
Does anyone have any tips to this issue?
After the first month we knew eachother she doesn't let me finger her properly, as in she stops me right before she starts orgasming, and says "I can't, I don't know why".
She always acts like it's something I shouldn't even bother doing, even though she knows I can make her orgasm.
She squirts, she sucks, she enjoys anal play, and doesn't mind a camera, but I'd kinda trade all that to her letting me finger her properly.
I had this issue with my first girlfriend, but that was also my first sex partner, still in a "how the fuck did [I]I[/I] get laid, this is great"-state, so I stopped worrying until she asked me to 2 months into our sex-life.
Sorry if it sounds like bragging.
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