in all seriousness, ussr, the fact that you don't understand how attraction and love work tells me you should be bringing this up with a psychologist and not a group of young adults on a gaming forum.
[editline]3rd February 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39464489]I wouldn't just float away or put in a call to tell them that it was over, though, I'd speak with them privately and in person.[/QUOTE]
do you seriously think most people don't do this?
[QUOTE]do you seriously think most people don't do this?[/QUOTE]
I've mostly seen people who 'end' a dating stage relationship by just chatting it up with someone else, or doing more audacious things before actually saying anything about it, or not even saying anything about it at all.
I thought that happened often, but maybe that's me confusing what I hold as a deal breaker with something else.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39464503]in all seriousness, ussr, the fact that you don't understand how attraction and love work tells me you should be bringing this up with a psychologist and not a group of young adults on a gaming forum.[/QUOTE]
I have a very basic understanding of how attraction and love works for people, and I don't like what little I think I know about it. I don't like how love or relationships are tied to attraction, or how it is viewed as an 'experience' of sorts that makes a person 'grow', or how it is supposedly a challenge that 'tests' a person.
I don't have a libido or sexuality, so I don't sympathize or understand half of what love is to people.
you should get a dog
My impression of USSR is a 30 year old living at his moms house, in the basement, 350 pounds, neckbeard, hasnt seen a girl besides his mom in 10 years, and is addicted to video games and anime.
Sorry USSR, but everything about you seems neckbeard-y
yeah lets not start with the neckbeards insults please
if you want to do that shit do it somewhere else
[QUOTE=thisispain;39464982]you should get a dog[/QUOTE]
I already have a Spoodle, a dog isn't anything like what I want.
Neither is a friend, as far as I know.
Well, a friend doesn't exactly share all of their life and time with you, or do anything remotely intimate.
[editline]3rd February 2013[/editline]
As in, coddling or consoling.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39465233]I already have a Spoodle, a dog isn't anything like what I want.
Neither is a friend, as far as I know.
[/QUOTE]
Wait, are you saying that you don't have friends?
I don't mean that as an insult, I'm genuinely concerned.
[editline]4th February 2013[/editline]
Oh okay, reading it again- maybe I misinterpreted and you meant it like "I have a desire for something in life, and from what I know of my dog, it isn't a dog, and from what I know of my friends, it isn't a friend."
Crossing my fingers that that's what you meant.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39463290]I'd be worried about her talking with him privately throughout the party all by itself.
Stories like yours are why I don't date, or would go out of my way to make damn sure that the relationship is entirely exclusive.[/QUOTE]
yes youre right: dont live life or seek out new experiences, you might get hurt!
It's awesome when you wake up and walk into your kitchen and see that your girlfriend made breakfast and set everything up. Feels great man, I really like that girl so much.
[QUOTE=junker|154;39469805]It's awesome when you wake up and walk into your kitchen and see that your girlfriend made breakfast and set everything up. Feels great man, I really like that girl so much.[/QUOTE]
a few weeks ago i had an anxiety attack while i was supposed to be at my first class this semester so i left and went home instead
had texted my bf sort of alluding to it, he was supposed to have class and work until 9 that night. drove home, a minute or two after i got into our apartment i hear the door open again. he skipped his classes and brought home lunch for me
It's small things and gestures like these that make a relationship great.
Now there's unexperienced people who come to this thread and then there's total idiots
pretty much causes me to skip 60% of the posts
[QUOTE=junker|154;39469805]It's awesome when you wake up and walk into your kitchen and see that your girlfriend made breakfast and set everything up. Feels great man, I really like that girl so much.[/QUOTE]
Things like this rule I wish I did them more often for my girlfriend, it must frustrate her sometimes
Had a talk with my GF who I thought was pretty prudish about a week ago.
She would like our sex to be rougher and more random.
This was a good week.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;39470044]so you basically want a partner purely for the benefits a partner gives you without any of the risks, this coupled with your previous comments are seriously leading me to believe you are either a sociopath or a psychopath, probably a sociopath considering you are not really risk seeking considering you do not seek out relationships[/QUOTE]
People who suffer from sociopathy are far from docile, though, at least those with anti-social or dissocial disorders. And then there is the deception and manipulation and deluded sense of morals.
There isn't a possibility that I'm a sociopath or psychopath unless I belong in one of the sub-categories.
I just don't want to take any risks, and I'd like to know how to get along while keeping that rule in mind, even if it means making myself look like a pretentious dick to the rest of you.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39472233]People who suffer from sociopathy are far from docile, though, at least those with anti-social or dissocial disorders. And then there is the deception and manipulation and deluded sense of morals.
There isn't a possibility that I'm a sociopath or psychopath unless I belong in one of the sub-categories.
I just don't want to take any risks, and I'd like to know how to get along while keeping that rule in mind, even if it means making myself look like a pretentious dick to the rest of you.[/QUOTE]
Wrap yourself in cotton wool and have yourself buried in a sturdy concrete box, then you will be safe from the big scary outside world. Your attitude will get you nowhere in life.
I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but how can I stop my girlfriend from thinking she's fat and ugly? (she's NOT, by the way)
She weighs 60-61 kg and her height is 171 cm. She wants to lose another 10 kg, but all she gets is like 300-500 calories a day and I'm scared for her health. Any advice?
[QUOTE=metallics;39472585]Wrap yourself in cotton wool and have yourself buried in a sturdy concrete box, then you will be safe from the big scary outside world. Your attitude will get you nowhere in life.[/QUOTE]
I've already gotten further than a [b]lot[/b] of people, I own a house that is spacious enough, work that isn't ultra-demanding and that doesn't leave me with just barely enough money to pay the mortgage and utilities.
I don't want anything more than a partner, but I don't want to risk any sort of pain or loss because of how everyone else apparently functions. I don't want to try and go anywhere if it means inevitably going backwards or getting hurt.
If getting along with life romantically means doing backwards things and hurting myself emotionally, fuck it. And fuck the masses who enforce and invented those backwards processes.
[editline]d[/editline]
You should probably get your girlfriend professional help, and try to educate her about what's dangerous about what she is doing with whatever proven/real statistics or facts that you can find.
Had my first lesbian sex experience last saturday.
Fucking.amazing.
same
[QUOTE=Croft;39473511]Had my first lesbian sex experience last saturday.
Fucking.amazing.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Lukeo;39473877]same[/QUOTE]
Hmmm
coincidence?
i think not
stop making fake accounts Lukeo
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39472233]
I just don't want to take any risks, and I'd like to know how to get along while keeping that rule in mind, even if it means making myself look like a pretentious dick to the rest of you.[/QUOTE]
there isn't a 100% risk free solution to dating and relationships, if you want 100% risk free then buy a realdoll with a lifetime manufacturer's warranty.
shit happens. people cheat, people let their character flaws get the best of them, people slowly drift apart, et cetera. it happens to everyone.
it sounds like you've got this ridiculous fantasy in your head where you'll meet this perfect person who's completely flawless and willing to devote themselves to you without hesitation. now look at yourself. you might be smart and good looking and well off but you sound like you've got crippling trust issues and other social anxieties. if you apply your standards to yourself then suddenly things stop making sense. do you think a girl wants to date someone who expects their immediate compliance and devotion on the first date? i'm sure if you met a girl like that you'd be pretty weirded out.
if you want my honest opinion, i think you're just afraid of the consequences of being in a normal relationship. you're like a child at the top of a big waterslide, you're afraid to go down it because it looks scary as fuck. once you let go of the handrails (metaphorically speaking the handrails are your weird conclusions about dating and relationships) and just go down the slide you'll actually enjoy yourself.
[QUOTE=JohanGS;39474016]coincidence?
i think not[/QUOTE]
Happy to say it was with a girl i have had my eyes on for ages.
[QUOTE=Croft;39474067]Happy to say it was with a girl i have had my eyes on for ages.[/QUOTE]
Was it the girl you mentioned earlier in the thread?
[editline]4th February 2013[/editline]
Not that I remember or anything, pfft
Was it Sigourney Weaver?
[QUOTE=JohanGS;39474092]Was it the girl you mentioned earlier in the thread?
[editline]4th February 2013[/editline]
Not that I remember or anything, pfft[/QUOTE]
Yes, it was her
[QUOTE=twoski;39474055]there isn't a 100% risk free solution to dating and relationships, if you want 100% risk free then buy a realdoll with a lifetime manufacturer's warranty.
shit happens. people cheat, people let their character flaws get the best of them, people slowly drift apart, et cetera. it happens to everyone.
it sounds like you've got this ridiculous fantasy in your head where you'll meet this perfect person who's completely flawless and willing to devote themselves to you without hesitation. now look at yourself. you might be smart and good looking and well off but you sound like you've got crippling trust issues and other social anxieties. if you apply your standards to yourself then suddenly things stop making sense. do you think a girl wants to date someone who expects their immediate compliance and devotion on the first date? i'm sure if you met a girl like that you'd be pretty weirded out.
if you want my honest opinion, i think you're just afraid of the consequences of being in a normal relationship. you're like a child at the top of a big waterslide, you're afraid to go down it because it looks scary as fuck. once you let go of the handrails (metaphorically speaking the handrails are your weird conclusions about dating and relationships) and just go down the slide you'll actually enjoy yourself.[/QUOTE]
I do hold myself to all of the standards that I set in my head for what I want out of a person, and when I fall short I feel a punishing bout of guilt until I fix everything and get ahead again. I don't expect to meet anyone perfect, but I don't want to chance meeting a flawed, awful person again.
My rambling about my problems have become more of a plea for the people here to not call me a failure or subnormal, or at least to gain some sort of confirmation from others about whatever I want, rather than asking for help with all of it.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39475274]I do hold myself to all of the standards that I set in my head for what I want out of a person, and when I fall short I feel a punishing bout of guilt until I fix everything and get ahead again. I don't expect to meet anyone perfect, but I don't want to chance meeting a flawed, awful person again.
My rambling about my problems have become more of a plea for the people here to not call me a failure or subnormal, or at least to gain some sort of confirmation from others about whatever I want, rather than asking for help with all of it.[/QUOTE]
Well you have a house and a job, which is nice.
But you should really stop being afraid of rejection or getting hurt socially.
So what if you get hurt? So what?
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