there are many bdsm related hazards including rope burn, hematomas, dehydration, and wood splinters
stay safe ;)
[QUOTE=thisispain;39685735]there are many bdsm related hazards including rope burn, hematomas, dehydration, and wood splinters
stay safe ;)[/QUOTE]
I don't know but you seem like a guy that's left a few people with permanent whip scars.
You're a scary person.
honestly no, i have barely dipped my toes in extreme stuff like that, but i had a friend who couldn't stop talking about her experiences with it
for some reason people involved in those things gravitate towards me haha, i don't mind it's really interesting conversation
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39685679]I meant legitimately, outside of play hurt hurt hurt. The kind of hurt that lasts and isn't fun for anyone.[/QUOTE]
the thing is it [b]is[/b] fun for some people. a lot of people who like bdsm experience a connection between pain and pleasure that other people might not. i'm trying to say that your statement is extremely vague because you're projecting your own standards of good pain vs bad pain on other people who don't feel the same way.
Maybe San Francisco has left a bit of its essence in you?
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39685871]Maybe San Francisco has left a bit of its essence in you?[/QUOTE]
i was a godless left-wing sodomite with loose morals and alcoholism long before i got to its mecca
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39685862]the thing is it [b]is[/b] fun for some people. a lot of people who like bdsm experience a connection between pain and pleasure that other people might not. i'm trying to say that your statement is extremely vague because you're projecting your own standards of good pain vs bad pain on other people who don't feel the same way.[/QUOTE] Okay, I was trying to say that not all consenting sex is right and good. Was sort of referencing stuff like incest, exploitation (closer to/is rape which isn't my point anyway), adultery. All of that is consensual but not moral or really good for anyone involved. BDSM doesn't wreck homes or cause real, real, permanent damage. It's basically semantics but thisispain is smart enough to know that and I'm the fool here for even bringing it up.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=thisispain;39685937]i was a godless left-wing sodomite with loose morals and alcoholism long before i got to its mecca[/QUOTE] So, you're like the kid from The Catcher in The Rye, except 60 years later?
im not tall enough to be holden caulfield
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39685944]Okay, I was trying to say that not all consenting sex is right and good. All of that is consensual but not moral or really good for anyone involved. BDSM doesn't wreck homes or cause real, real, permanent damage.[/QUOTE]
what?? who are you to say that sex between two (or more) consenting adults is right or wrong?
that type of thinking is what makes people ashamed to have certain kinks, such as bdsm, when its nothing to be ashamed about.
[QUOTE=Nikeos;39686090]what?? who are you to say that sex between two (or more) consenting adults is right or wrong? that type of thinking is what makes people ashamed to have certain kinks, such as bdsm, when its nothing to be ashamed about.[/QUOTE] I specifically mentioned that BDSM has nothing to do at all with what I was trying to point out. Kinks are kinks, but I was talking about stuff that literally ruins homes or causes real trauma. [QUOTE]Was sort of referencing stuff like incest (birth defects, family problems), exploitation (closer to/is rape which isn't my point anyway), adultery (mental trauma).[/QUOTE] Not BDSM or kinky stuff. I don't have an opinon on kinks one way or the other.
like a very smart man once said:
I just can't believe all the things people say -- controversy
Am I black or white? am I straight or gay? -- controversy
Do I believe in god? do I believe in me? -- controversy
prince, amen
A husband and wife tying each other up isn't going to split the household up, isn't it?
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=thisispain;39685998]im not tall enough to be holden caulfield[/QUOTE] You might not look like him but I'm sure you're banned from every school library in the south.
i actually was banned from a school library when i googled richard kern for an art class
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39686170]A husband and wife tying each other up isn't going to split the household up, isn't it?[/QUOTE]
it could.
you can't make that sort of general statement because everything is situational. like it or not, things like incest aren't always going to cause problems, just like "consenting" things like bdsm etc can still cause problems or damage a person if they do something they'll regret or end up feeling differently than they expected to. all you're doing right now is trying to set arbitrary standards on what you think is right or wrong based entirely on your own opinion of activities and not on whether or not one is actually more harmful to a person than another is.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39685944]Okay, I was trying to say that not all consenting sex is right and good.[/QUOTE]
if it's consenting the only issue is your personal judgment toward someone else's affairs you aren't involved in.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39685944]Was sort of referencing stuff like incest, exploitation (closer to/is rape which isn't my point anyway), adultery.[/QUOTE]
if all parties consent and are adults i dont see why any of those things could be considered not good or immoral
the only legitimate moral issue with incest involves children, otherwise its completely up to the people involved
and you know what i think about monogamy
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39686269]it could. you can't make that sort of general statement because everything is situational. like it or not, things like incest aren't always going to cause problems, just like "consenting" things like bdsm etc can still cause problems or damage a person if they do something they'll regret or end up feeling differently than they expected to. all you're doing right now is trying to set arbitrary standards on what you think is right or wrong based entirely on your own opinion of activities and not on whether or not one is actually more harmful to a person than another is. if it's consenting the only issue is your personal judgment toward someone else's affairs you aren't involved in.[/QUOTE] Even if what I pointed out is situational and all, it's more or less likely to have a big negative impact. Who's affected doesn't need to actually be one of the consenting persons doing the act. Yeah, specific circumstances can nullify the moral or ethical weight on something. PS3 text limit-
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
But the three things I pointed out are almost consistently damaging to at least one person involved. There are plenty of strictly non-moral and ethical reasons why those actions are frowned upon, too.
The single point I was trying to make is that not all consensual sex can be considered moral, especially when it has a splash effect that can hurt people who had nothing to do with the sex itself.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=thisispain;39686318]if all parties consent and are adults i dont see why any of those things could be considered not good or immoral the only legitimate moral issue with incest involves children, otherwise its completely up to the people involved and you know what i think about monogamy[/QUOTE] Adultery =!= polygamy, and even then, it isn't ethical to promise someone exclusivity and then go back on that promise without saying a word.
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39686325]Even if what I pointed out is situational and all, it's more or less likely to have a big negative impact. Who's affected doesn't need to actually be one of the consenting persons doing the act. Yeah, specific circumstances can nullify the moral or ethical weight on something. PS3 text limit-
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
But the three things I pointed out are almost consistently damaging to at least one person involved. There are plenty of strictly non-moral and ethical reasons why those actions are frowned upon, too.
The single point I was trying to make is that not all consensual sex can be considered moral, especially when it has a splash effect that can hurt people who had nothing to do with the sex itself.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
Adultery =!= polygamy, and even then, it isn't ethical to promise someone exclusivity and then go back on that promise without saying a word.[/QUOTE]
at the risk of sounding like the philosophical texts i've been reading.. the actions you listed aren't inherently harmful. incest is sexual interaction between family members, there's nothing in the definition that requires it to be something damaging. by your logic, if anything bdsm should be the 'immoral' thing because harm and shame make up part of its definition. there's no reason whatsoever for you to define arbitrary acts as "moral" or "immoral" because they aren't always going to possess those characteristics and those characteristics don't define them.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
any action, including any extreme or taboo sex act, can cause regret. someone partaking in bdsm for the first time might feel like they've been violated afterward. someone losing their virginity to someone they're not married to might feel regret for throwing it away, someone who married someone they realize they don't love anymore might feel regret for staying in the relationship. people make mistakes, it's not your place to decide which of those mistakes are worth regretting or not.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39686374]at the risk of sounding like the philosophical texts i've been reading.. the actions you listed aren't inherently harmful. incest is sexual interaction between family members, there's nothing in the definition that requires it to be something damaging.[/QUOTE] Yeah, but the difference between 'mistakes' and something like I descrbed is that regardless of whether the people partaking in the act regret it or are hurt by it, it hurts [b]others[/b], or atleast it has a big possibility of doing so. It isn't a case of, 'someone has a small chance of being harmed depending on their own mentality'. And those who exploit or cheat or do incest among a few other things damn well know what could happen. Think of it like manslaughter in a way. It becomes a moral issue with rights and wrongs at every turn when your 'mistake' hits other people like a bag of bricks.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
I just shortened your quote so I had more space.
for real
you're comparing all of this to manslaughter
[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39686518]Yeah, but the difference between 'mistakes' and something like I descrbed is that regardless of whether the people partaking in the act regret it or are hurt by it, it hurts [b]others[/b][/QUOTE]
[b]this is what i'm saying[/b]
it depends on whether it's hurting people, not on whether you in particular happen to believe it should.
incest (inbreeding) has been used to keep endangered species of animals such as white tigers alive. it's not an inherently bad thing. someone partaking in incest doesn't mean they're doing something harmful, someone doing something that directly harms another person means they're doing something harmful.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
i'm fucking done with this though, you're literally incapable of understanding that your own opinions of other people don't change how the world works and there's nothing we can say to make you comprehend how illogical your be-all-end-all statements about whether things are right or wrong are.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39686553][b]this is what i'm saying[/b] it depends on whether it's hurting people, not on whether you in particular happen to believe it should. incest (inbreeding) has been used to keep endangered species of animals such as white tigers alive. it's not an inherently bad thing. someone partaking in incest doesn't mean they're doing something harmful, someone doing something that directly harms another person means they're doing something harmful.[/QUOTE] I was just using incest as an easy example because of how problematic it could be. I don't want you to get mad or anything. And yes, the comparison to manslaughter is relevant in that through ignorance or selfishness someone is causing another person damage. Doesn't have to do with the other stuff. Anyway, please don't get angry. I'm sure whatever makes you think my logic is shattered is probably a linguistic or contextual disconnect, or my bad choice of an example to use with a cause and effect based moral argument.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
I could only say incest was inherently bad if I was used a moral argument that is entirely arbitrary. Instead I was trying feebly to make it a more acceptable example by stating that it was wrong because it had a big possibility of causing damage. Of course that detracts from the argument in other ways.
[editline]23rd February 2013[/editline]
It detracts from the argument in a fuckton of ways, actually.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;39686735]i just realized this nigga is typing all that on a ps3[/QUOTE] Because getting my point across is more important than the state of the cartilage in my hands. I can't even feel my goddamn thumbs anymore.
After all of these arguments and such I always get left with a splitting headache and mentally torn between my own deeply engraved ideologies and moral values and the giant, blaring, and overpoweringly logical opinions of everyone else. And then I can't seem to decide about whether or not they're right and I'm wrong, or vice versa and I'm just not very confident in my own views, or we're all making the same points essentially but not understanding each other in the least.
And then I start thinking it's just conflicting opinions that can't possibly be held over one another since everything is subjective.
nevermind i regret posting this already
never posted in this thread before, so sorry for the incoming novel, but i figured what the hell, i'll ask facepunch about my situation.
a few weeks ago my girlfriend, whom i cared very much about and who i thought felt the same about me, broke up with me out of nowhere. like literally, straight outta left field. we never fought, anything, we got along just fine. one day i asked her about some guy she was talking to on twitter, just because i was curious and she seemed kinda flirty. so i just asked because we are open and honest with each other and i just wanted to know who he was. after i asked she stopped talking to me for the entire weekend. we both live on the same college campus, she had a key to my apartment, we would be with each other literally all day, every day. then tuesday comes and she all of the sudden “doesn’t want a relationship anymore”. but after she says it, she starts crying and everything, and even goes on to call my best friend to tell him that she just dumped me. so i’m devastated, confused, lost, hurt everything. but then the exact same night she texts me and says she loves me, so like, what the hell does that mean. so time passes and she wants to hang out all the time like nothing happened, except for the physical aspect (i.e. kissing, things like that). yet she still comes over and spends the night with me, and we even spoon and hold hands when we sleep and shit. we even went to my parents house one day and we held hands on the car and ate a romantic-ish dinner together and everything. she came and watched a movie with me on valentine’s day and we held hands and shit. and lately she has even canceled plans with her best friend to just hang out with me.
one day, my friend texted me asking if we were still together because she saw something on tumblr hinting that she wasn’t (this was before i actually had a tumblr, but i knew she had one). so i look on her page and i see this thing:
“kemfamsfioemfe this is so stupid omf you make me feel so insecure and dumb and happy and sad and full of butterflies and i want to kill myself and never ever text you but then i want to talk to you and hang out with you all the time and i feel like i annoy you but your smile is just so beautiful and i can’t even handle this ARGH and i just wish i knew what you thought of me so i can just have PEACE plz “
so now i am really confused, right? because this is exactly how i am feeling. but she broke up with me, why should she feel this way? and i mean, i thought i’ve made it clear how i felt about you, but how in the hell am i supposed to know how you feel about me when you are the one who dumped me? so i tried bringing it up with her: once sort of in passing while we were falling asleep. got literally 0 response, but whatever, maybe she fell asleep or something. so i tried again, face to face just sitting on the couch. i brought it up by asking if i made her feel insecure or anything and she was like, no why? so then i showed her the post she made and she was like, no nope don’t worry you dont make me feel that way. and i was like, uhhh okay. but how do you feel? and she just deflected it. and that is what worries me.
im pretty sure the night before i asked her about the guy she was talking to she went out and partied. and im afraid she might have done something with someone there. i have always trusted this girl with everything (i gave her my key for christ’s sake, i’ve never done that before, and this certainly isn’t my first girlfriend). but all of this deflection and ignoring of me sort of makes me think she is feeling guilty about something. and when she dumped me she kept saying how awesome i was and everything. and if i didn’t do something, and i’m supposedly great, then she must have done something, because there’s no way she just lost all feeling in an afternoon. and even if she had, why would she still hang out with me and show her subdued emotions towards me?
even if she did do something with someone, i’d forgive her. that is, if she was truly sorry about it, and she was drunk and she didn’t fuck someone else or something. i drunken kiss i can understand, not that it’s okay, but it is something we can work through. sex though, drunk or not, she had to think that one through. and if she did have sex and she didn’t want it, i don’t think she would have dumped me out of guilt over that when it wasn’t her fault. but who knows. next time she comes over i’m gonna have a talk with her. i’ve been emotionally exhausted for almost a month now, i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, my grades are slipping and i don’t even care because this is all i can think about. i just need some answers. even if it means we can’t be friends anymore, i can’t fucking live like this.
so yeah.
/rant
[QUOTE=Yahnich;39695461]you're wrong not us, you are the one with really weird ideologies, not us[/QUOTE]
But the entire sum of my ideologies and the argument from last night is, "don't cheat or do harmful things".
Would it be more acceptable if I stripped everything down to just that one point?
[QUOTE=urbanmonkey;39695496]never posted in this thread before, so sorry for the incoming novel, but i figured what the hell, i'll ask facepunch about my situation.
a few weeks ago my girlfriend, whom i cared very much about and who i thought felt the same about me, broke up with me out of nowhere. like literally, straight outta left field. we never fought, anything, we got along just fine. one day i asked her about some guy she was talking to on twitter, just because i was curious and she seemed kinda flirty. so i just asked because we are open and honest with each other and i just wanted to know who he was. after i asked she stopped talking to me for the entire weekend. we both live on the same college campus, she had a key to my apartment, we would be with each other literally all day, every day. then tuesday comes and she all of the sudden “doesn’t want a relationship anymore”. but after she says it, she starts crying and everything, and even goes on to call my best friend to tell him that she just dumped me. so i’m devastated, confused, lost, hurt everything. but then the exact same night she texts me and says she loves me, so like, what the hell does that mean. so time passes and she wants to hang out all the time like nothing happened, except for the physical aspect (i.e. kissing, things like that). yet she still comes over and spends the night with me, and we even spoon and hold hands when we sleep and shit. we even went to my parents house one day and we held hands on the car and ate a romantic-ish dinner together and everything. she came and watched a movie with me on valentine’s day and we held hands and shit. and lately she has even canceled plans with her best friend to just hang out with me.
one day, my friend texted me asking if we were still together because she saw something on tumblr hinting that she wasn’t (this was before i actually had a tumblr, but i knew she had one). so i look on her page and i see this thing:
“kemfamsfioemfe this is so stupid omf you make me feel so insecure and dumb and happy and sad and full of butterflies and i want to kill myself and never ever text you but then i want to talk to you and hang out with you all the time and i feel like i annoy you but your smile is just so beautiful and i can’t even handle this ARGH and i just wish i knew what you thought of me so i can just have PEACE plz “
so now i am really confused, right? because this is exactly how i am feeling. but she broke up with me, why should she feel this way? and i mean, i thought i’ve made it clear how i felt about you, but how in the hell am i supposed to know how you feel about me when you are the one who dumped me? so i tried bringing it up with her: once sort of in passing while we were falling asleep. got literally 0 response, but whatever, maybe she fell asleep or something. so i tried again, face to face just sitting on the couch. i brought it up by asking if i made her feel insecure or anything and she was like, no why? so then i showed her the post she made and she was like, no nope don’t worry you dont make me feel that way. and i was like, uhhh okay. but how do you feel? and she just deflected it. and that is what worries me.
im pretty sure the night before i asked her about the guy she was talking to she went out and partied. and im afraid she might have done something with someone there. i have always trusted this girl with everything (i gave her my key for christ’s sake, i’ve never done that before, and this certainly isn’t my first girlfriend). but all of this deflection and ignoring of me sort of makes me think she is feeling guilty about something. and when she dumped me she kept saying how awesome i was and everything. and if i didn’t do something, and i’m supposedly great, then she must have done something, because there’s no way she just lost all feeling in an afternoon. and even if she had, why would she still hang out with me and show her subdued emotions towards me?
even if she did do something with someone, i’d forgive her. that is, if she was truly sorry about it, and she was drunk and she didn’t fuck someone else or something. i drunken kiss i can understand, not that it’s okay, but it is something we can work through. sex though, drunk or not, she had to think that one through. and if she did have sex and she didn’t want it, i don’t think she would have dumped me out of guilt over that when it wasn’t her fault. but who knows. next time she comes over i’m gonna have a talk with her. i’ve been emotionally exhausted for almost a month now, i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, my grades are slipping and i don’t even care because this is all i can think about. i just need some answers. even if it means we can’t be friends anymore, i can’t fucking live like this.
so yeah.
/rant[/QUOTE]
Yeah looks like you don't need much of an opinion or help from us :v: Talk it over with her, and demand a full explanation. She can't keep messing you around like this, and don't let her.
If I had the chance. I'd go up to each one of you guys and hug you and apologise. Unless you didn't want to be hugged, I guess.
I'm not drunk off my ass now, either.
My general fear of adultery is one of the several anxieties that have described me as a person.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;39695822]Finally had a date night with the girlfriend. Went to see Warm Bodies, great movie.
Also we ate Mexican and I ordered fried onions, not my greatest idea, but she didn't care. We're pretty much best friends and we don't care about formalities and all that jazz. Completely 100% comfortable around each other.[/QUOTE]
I eat onions all the time but its okay because my girlfriend considers herself entitled to brag every time she farts in my presence
I tell you what they're all dirty whores.
You don't talk to someone for 2 months and then just cancel a date because "you have a new BF since a week".
/rant
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