We're animals, but we're different from most animals. There is plenty of chances for women to give in half, and the fact that no one is willing to call out bullshit is annoying.
Both women and men are beings with emotions, thought, rational thinking and emotional thought. To say that one side must give more means that you're willing to continue a societal rule that men have to be god like creatures.
We can't be god like creatures, we'll never be that we're human. Until everyone has this understanding, one side will always pitch in more then the other and that's never a healthy relationship.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;38368796]if i broke up with them like a dickbag i doubt we'd be on good terms[/QUOTE]
imo it matters more what happens after they break up with you. i'm on good terms with all but one of my exes (i don't even want to get into that). whenever i've been the one to end a relationship i've been firm and blunt about it to ensure i got the point across that i didn't plan to revisit things, but i try to act respectful toward them and stay friends after it's over. i'm still on good terms with my exes who were the ones to break up with me because all of them made it clear they still wanted to be friends afterward. i don't talk to a few of them anymore but we still mutually respect each other.
I used to think the same way, back then, when I was unable to accept outcomes of my own mistakes....
Currently, this seems so real to you, women are completely moronic in their reasoning and expectation of men, and men, deem this behavior by continuing to play by these rules.
this is a really fundemental issue with most men today, I can't really start addressing it here, so i'll do it in a few sentences, hopefully it'll be clear enough for you;
men today are powerless in the game of relationships. they still think with the perspective of a cave man, while not realizing women today have more power than ever... They can express their thoughts, impact decisions, and for the most part are on par with every skill a guy has. taking that into consideration, you must realizing then the only difference between you and her, is how you express and promote yourself. If you act like all others, there's just no yearning. You provide nothing she can't get; not power, not housing, not food, money... excitement, sexually or mentally.
men today have to be "gods", in simple words, change their so natural, instinctive, behaviors just to get what they want. A change which proves difficult for many, so really, your problem is not the "societal rule" but rather your consistent "mishaps" due to expectations of society... Women need this difference as much as men need it, it's not a rule, it's what brings us together.
You gotta play life like you have it all, people are wired to follow what their eyes can see, and if you believe it so much, you can make it a reality.
[QUOTE=Swilly;38369512]We're animals, but we're different from most animals. There is plenty of chances for women to give in half, and the fact that no one is willing to call out bullshit is annoying.
Both women and men are beings with emotions, thought, rational thinking and emotional thought. To say that one side must give more means that you're willing to continue a societal rule that men have to be god like creatures.
We can't be god like creatures, we'll never be that we're human. Until everyone has this understanding, one side will always pitch in more then the other and that's never a healthy relationship.[/QUOTE]
you're making a lot of assumptions about the guy's situation here.
at first glance it might seem like the girl is just being irrational and paranoid, but it's entirely possible that he's doing something (or not doing something) to make her feel unloved.
(here's hoping i quoted the right thing because i can't read right now aaaa)
[QUOTE=AtomicDongo;38369401]My girlfriend is upset because she's not my first girlfriend, this causes her to be depressed and angry at me and I have no clue on how to cheer her up. It's usually my best friend who manages to cheer her up but she brings up my ex's occasionally and just becomes a very very sad girl, especially when I say "I love you" to her, she'll suddenly be like "You've said that to your ex's before, I'm upset because I don't feel special blah blah blah" What do I do?[/QUOTE]
How old are the both of you? From what I'm hearing, she sounds completely insecure and that she needs to get some confidence. What does it matter what you did with your exes? You're with her now and that's what should matter.
If she keeps comparing what you're doing now with what you did in previous relationships, then you might want to think about leaving. It's not fun being someone who's miserable for no good reason.
Additionally, you might want to ask her why she keeps comparing things. You might be doing something, or it might be the way that you do something, that makes her think that she isn't as special to you as the thinks she should be.
@ HarveySpecter
1. No, it's not always the guy's fault. Sometimes, yes, yes it is, because there might have been something the guy could have done to help a situation. Other times, though, the guy gets blindsided by the
woman's actions and suffers for it, and then STILL gets the blame because hey, he's a guy, and that makes it his fault automatically.
2. Men are not powerless in relationships. It's only when they think that they need to jump through hoops and play the same mind/social games that women do that they lose their grasp on a relationship.
If they were to actually be a guy and call her out on her crap, they'd be doing better.
3. Not all men are so shallow as to believe that appearance>personality and that emotions are irrelevant. Personally, I like a pretty face as much as the next guy, but unless she has a decent personality to back it up, I'm not going to waste my time even being near her. I'd rater be around someone I can have a good conversation with.
[QUOTE=azurelao;38370574]It's only when they think that they need to jump through hoops and play the same mind/social games that women do that they lose their grasp on a relationship.
If they were to actually be a guy and call her out on her crap, they'd be doing better.[/QUOTE]
Okay, one, what do you mean by 'a grasp on the relationship'? Two, what's with the generalizations and even misogyny here?
according to this thread men and women aren't even the same species i guess
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38372021]according to this thread men and women aren't even the same species i guess[/QUOTE]
Male facepunchers and women aren't even the same species*
[QUOTE=azurelao;38370574]How old are the both of you? From what I'm hearing, she sounds completely insecure and that she needs to get some confidence. What does it matter what you did with your exes? You're with her now and that's what should matter.
If she keeps comparing what you're doing now with what you did in previous relationships, then you might want to think about leaving. It's not fun being someone who's miserable for no good reason.
Additionally, you might want to ask her why she keeps comparing things. You might be doing something, or it might be the way that you do something, that makes her think that she isn't as special to you as the thinks she should be.
@ HarveySpecter
1. No, it's not always the guy's fault. Sometimes, yes, yes it is, because there might have been something the guy could have done to help a situation. Other times, though, the guy gets blindsided by the
woman's actions and suffers for it, and then STILL gets the blame because hey, he's a guy, and that makes it his fault automatically.
2. Men are not powerless in relationships. It's only when they think that they need to jump through hoops and play the same mind/social games that women do that they lose their grasp on a relationship.
If they were to actually be a guy and call her out on her crap, they'd be doing better.
3. Not all men are so shallow as to believe that appearance>personality and that emotions are irrelevant. Personally, I like a pretty face as much as the next guy, but unless she has a decent personality to back it up, I'm not going to waste my time even being near her. I'd rater be around someone I can have a good conversation with.[/QUOTE]
This is good except for #2, you seem to be highlighting relationships that fail because the guy is being a "nice guy" (letting the girl walk all over him.) This does happen, but it's just a specific example of mismatched personalities. Most girls who want relationships want a boyfriend, not a doormat. Just as you'd look for a girlfriend, not a queen (not that it's necessarily bad to treat her like one occasionally.)
[QUOTE=Megafan;38371958]Okay, one, what do you mean by 'a grasp on the relationship'? Two, what's with the generalizations and even misogyny here?[/QUOTE]
It was bad wording, I think he was going more for something along the lines of "the relationship loses grasp on them" i.e. they lose interest. The second part wasn't misogyny, it was countering passive boyfriends.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38372021]according to this thread men and women aren't even the same species i guess[/QUOTE]
I agree with this not because of the confusion regarding azurelao's post, but because of Harvey's - claiming that a failed relationship is "always" the male's fault is plain ignorance.
i'm just trying to figure out why seith said that women having equal rights means men are powerless
[editline]8th November 2012[/editline]
also, a LOT of guys do the "mind games" thing you guys are attributing to women.
I started talking to my ex and her friends properly again today (we still actually did remain friends after breaking up as the relationship more fizzled out and was never really serious), but I'm still not really over her and kind of decided I might try and get back with her. I'm not the greatest reader of body language etc but there was definitely something there still, guess I'll just start talking to her again and see what happens, worst case scenario it ends up in the friendzone, but I can probably cope with that. There's been another girl I've been talking to since a party where we made out a bit but I just don't seem to have any feelings for her or even desire to ask her out.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38372530]i'm just trying to figure out why seith said that women having equal rights means men are powerless
[editline]8th November 2012[/editline]
also, a LOT of guys do the "mind games" thing you guys are attributing to women.[/QUOTE]
read my post and connect the dots, i'm not gonna copy paste... it's pretty well put, so ...
nvm got it
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38366563]sounds like it wasn't the text you sent, it's how you generally behave
since it's your personality that she dislikes, her telling you that wouldn't have changed anything. you can't change who you are just because someone tells you to.
[editline]8th November 2012[/editline]
the 'desperate' thing really comes through in your post. your whole attitude toward the whole thing is that she owes you a relationship for you spending "8 months talking to her, 2 months dating".
[editline]8th November 2012[/editline]
i'll never be able to understand why people get angry at their exes for breaking things off when they weren't happy in the relationship. it's a shame that it wasn't mutual and all, but.. why blame them for the feelings not being mutual?[/QUOTE]
I agree with your post, but there's several things I'd like to address.
1. Yeah, that's completely and totally true. But the thing is she never complained, or even hinted that she didn't like something. The only thing that she did complain about was she didn't like me having my arm around her. That was the day before she broke up with me, and it was so petty it made me wonder what else she wasn't talking about.
2. I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I'm more angry at the fact that I wasted all of that time just to be screwed over because of a text (even though as stated that's not the full reason obviously, but that is what set it off). I didn't think she "owed me" anything, rather than so much could be lost to so little.
3. The thing is, like I said, she never even hinted at being unhappy or having any sort of problems. I'd be a little more compassionate and respectful if she didn't feign happiness and act all lovey-dovey when she actually felt the opposite. On many occasions I even asked if something was wrong and all she would say is "I'm tired."
Also, she wasn't nice about the whole thing either. She was very condescending about it and rather angry, pretty much yelling at me.
She has bad history with her exes as well, as I found out on Monday. I'm apparently not the only one with this problem - a friend of one of her exes told me about their ridiculous break up, and another friend of mine said I wasn't the only one who had this problem. Wish I knew that sooner.
Just felt like getting a good rant out.
p.s. Thank you in advance for opinions, I appreciate criticism greatly.
[QUOTE=azurelao;38370574]How old are the both of you? From what I'm hearing, she sounds completely insecure and that she needs to get some confidence. What does it matter what you did with your exes? You're with her now and that's what should matter.
If she keeps comparing what you're doing now with what you did in previous relationships, then you might want to think about leaving. It's not fun being someone who's miserable for no good reason.
Additionally, you might want to ask her why she keeps comparing things. You might be doing something, or it might be the way that you do something, that makes her think that she isn't as special to you as the thinks she should be.
@ HarveySpecter
1. No, it's not always the guy's fault. Sometimes, yes, yes it is, because there might have been something the guy could have done to help a situation. Other times, though, the guy gets blindsided by the
woman's actions and suffers for it, and then STILL gets the blame because hey, he's a guy, and that makes it his fault automatically.
2. Men are not powerless in relationships. It's only when they think that they need to jump through hoops and play the same mind/social games that women do that they lose their grasp on a relationship.
If they were to actually be a guy and call her out on her crap, they'd be doing better.
3. Not all men are so shallow as to believe that appearance>personality and that emotions are irrelevant. Personally, I like a pretty face as much as the next guy, but unless she has a decent personality to back it up, I'm not going to waste my time even being near her. I'd rater be around someone I can have a good conversation with.[/QUOTE]
1. It's always the guy's fault. I cannot think of a situation for the life of me, where I was the 'victim' and had a complete lack of control on a relationship's outcome. Relationships are always a matter of power play whether you'd like it or not, and if that's the case, how the fuck is it the woman's fault? That's completely absurd.... Personally, I take the women on dates, I kiss them.... If something went wrong, it's my fault.
2. Men for the most part are powerless. Most men are. I've seen and keep seeing thousand of trivial female problems on here, "I don't know what to do", "She suddenly went ape shit on me", "she told me she wants to break up" .... While the facepunch community doesn't exactly represent the entire male population on earth, for the most part, men are clueless and cannot think outside the box.
3. all men are shallow. Whether or not you're willing to have a relationship with a woman on the basis of her looks alone is ireelevant. If I put you up against a good looking female who'd like to have sex with you, casually, why would you say no? We're all shallow, and the reason I painted men so negatively was to prove the difference between female and male, and how does the difference affects relationships.
[QUOTE=HarveySpecter;38373466]1. It's always the guy's fault. I cannot think of a situation for the life of me, where I was the 'victim' and had a complete lack of control on a relationship's outcome. Relationships are always a matter of power play whether you'd like it or not, and if that's the case, how the fuck is it the woman's fault? That's completely absurd.... Personally, I take the women on dates, I kiss them.... If something went wrong, it's my fault.
2. Men for the most part are powerless. Most men are. I've seen and keep seeing thousand of trivial female problems on here, "I don't know what to do", "She suddenly went ape shit on me", "she told me she wants to break up" .... While the facepunch community doesn't exactly represent the entire male population on earth, for the most part, men are clueless and cannot think outside the box.
3. all men are shallow. Whether or not you're willing to have a relationship with a woman on the basis of her looks alone is ireelevant. If I put you up against a good looking female who'd like to have sex with you, casually, why would you say no? We're all shallow, and the reason I painted men so negatively was to prove the difference between female and male, and how does the difference affects relationships.[/QUOTE]
Reading this conversation is just irritating me more and more.
No. Just no in every way. Maybe back in the day where women didn't have jobs and men had to ask her parents to court her and such. But no. You don't take a girl on a date you go on a date with her, men don't always make the first moves for a kiss and it is often brought on by body language of both partners. You don't just run up to your gf and kiss her for the first time when she is just standing there not looking at you do you? Men don't even always have to be the one to make those moves, I have made first moves with my bfs regularly and most girls I know don't idly sit there waiting for you to kiss them, they provoke it.
If something goes wrong then it is both of your faults, especially with emotional things. She should be expressing her feelings if something is bothering her, and you should as well. Both sides should work together and try to fix things and get along through problems.
Men are not powerless. I've seen just as many guys come in here and say they want to break up with their girlfriend for reasons they haven't told them, and havent discussed of revealed. Women just as often don't know what to do with their boyfriend in situations and just as many men randomly go "ape shit" as girls do. Why? Almost always a lack of communication. They bottle their emotions because supposedly women are supposed to be the emotional ones. Then eventually they crack, because they won't say why anything is wrong. Women often won't share their problems because they fear being a whiny girlfriend and their boyfriend getting tired of it and leaving. Men have just as much possible control and responsibility to make sure she feels okay to tell you if there is a problem, and to express your own. Likewise to her.
All men have different values. I'm not even going to argue your last point.
edit: The actual differences between men and women are very very little.
I need to get back to my "at least one post every one to two pages" policy, because there are a ton of new posts and I have no idea where I left off since my usual web browsing box is failing to get past POST.
On a related note, I'm fairly sure that girl I made out with last Saturday got me sick. Worth it, though.
[editline]8th November 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=HarveySpecter;38373466]1. It's always the guy's fault. I cannot think of a situation for the life of me, where I was the 'victim' and had a complete lack of control on a relationship's outcome. Relationships are always a matter of power play whether you'd like it or not, and if that's the case, how the fuck is it the woman's fault? That's completely absurd.... Personally, I take the women on dates, I kiss them.... If something went wrong, it's my fault.
2. Men for the most part are powerless. Most men are. I've seen and keep seeing thousand of trivial female problems on here, "I don't know what to do", "She suddenly went ape shit on me", "she told me she wants to break up" .... While the facepunch community doesn't exactly represent the entire male population on earth, for the most part, men are clueless and cannot think outside the box.
3. all men are shallow. Whether or not you're willing to have a relationship with a woman on the basis of her looks alone is ireelevant. If I put you up against a good looking female who'd like to have sex with you, casually, why would you say no? We're all shallow, and the reason I painted men so negatively was to prove the difference between female and male, and how does the difference affects relationships.[/QUOTE]
Wow, just read this. Your whole attitude strikes me as so disgustingly chauvinistic, patriarchal, and just passive-aggressive toward women in general that I want to punch you in the face. Most of the men in his thread, myself included, have sex because we love our partner. Not because we saw ~~ some fly hot ass son~~ and want bragging rights. You make me physically ill with how you think about relationships.
You, and a lot of other people for that matter, need to get past the whole "the man is the aggressor, the woman is the victim" attitude. It's just stupid and at the end of the day, is sexist in general.
Oh, that's Seith? I've been away too long. Oh well, a lot of people around where I live have the same ideas as him. You know, gotta let it out once in a while.
[QUOTE=HarveySpecter;38373466]1. It's always the guy's fault. I cannot think of a situation for the life of me, where I was the 'victim' and had a complete lack of control on a relationship's outcome. Relationships are always a matter of power play whether you'd like it or not, and if that's the case, how the fuck is it the woman's fault? That's completely absurd.... Personally, I take the women on dates, I kiss them.... If something went wrong, it's my fault.
2. Men for the most part are powerless. Most men are. I've seen and keep seeing thousand of trivial female problems on here, "I don't know what to do", "She suddenly went ape shit on me", "she told me she wants to break up" .... While the facepunch community doesn't exactly represent the entire male population on earth, for the most part, men are clueless and cannot think outside the box.
3. all men are shallow. Whether or not you're willing to have a relationship with a woman on the basis of her looks alone is ireelevant. If I put you up against a good looking female who'd like to have sex with you, casually, why would you say no? We're all shallow, and the reason I painted men so negatively was to prove the difference between female and male, and how does the difference affects relationships.[/QUOTE]
1. I fail to see how it was my fault my ex never learned to communicate, and therefore bottled everything until it broke us.
2. I refuse to give up the pants. I'll share them 50/50.
3. I'd say no to casual sex because I don't want casual sex. I want sex that actually means something, with someone that actually means something. I'd take a fully developed relationship with occasional sex over lots of casual sex every day of the week.
All I see here is "my experiences=the whole male experience" "I fail, therefore males fail"
Grow the hell up.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;38375136]my gf is cray about equality
like honestly, if i do something like hold the door open for her, even subconsciously because i was brought up that way (trying to stop because of sexism yadda yadda), i'll notice she'll walk in front of me to open the next door
and then i'm just like nigga what[/QUOTE]
If a girl gets offended by me opening the door I tell them how I hold it open for everyone because it's good manners. It usually embarrasses them enough that they stop.
Today my gf and I had one of the best intercourses ever. There must've been some psychological shit involved, 'cause she'll be on a trip for four days and we won't see eachother.
My dick turned super-sayan, unbendable with gigantic veins exposed. I was unstoppable. She looked at me with incledibly feline sex eyes for the whole time.
We came home for lunch, but It took so long that we ate a snack at 3pm.
At the end she said 'It was so good I felt like I haven't had sex for a hundred years before that'
I also came buckets, whiter stuff than usual. It's a week I'm shooting whiter stuff. Perhaps my sperm count has raised?
One girl I went out with broke up with me because i didn't text her.
Guess what?
I didn't have a phone. I think that required to much thinking to understand so she just disregarded it.
Fuck dat bitch lol.
[QUOTE=Flyboi;38361748]After a month of chatting with a girl on the internet, I'm finally meeting her! Wish me luck facepunch![/QUOTE]
Well that went as well as it possibly could, so well in fact that I'm meeting her tomorrow as well! I never believed in love at first sight but damn, it's like we were made for each other.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;38375392]she didn't break up with you because of the texting
there were other issues[/QUOTE]
Ok, so maybe i called her a bitch a few times. God how do you make me tell the truth? Jedi mind tricks man.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;38375136]my gf is cray about equality
like honestly, if i do something like hold the door open for her, even subconsciously because i was brought up that way (trying to stop because of sexism yadda yadda), i'll notice she'll walk in front of me to open the next door
and then i'm just like nigga what[/QUOTE]
Thats just stupid. At least where I live everyone holds the door for everyone regardless of gender, age, or anything else for that matter. Its just a courtesy.
I have seen a few girls around here get pissy about it like that, those people are usually treated as mental. Because they are.
(Okay missread reading further I was thinking she didn't like it if a guy held the door for her)
Although sounds a little trying to hard on the 50/50(my bf and I usually just let it naturally balance without worrying too much) certainly not the same level of crazy
even me, the most ardent and annoying internet feminist, still hold doors open for people
i also give shopping carts to old ladies
Wel single again.
the whole reason, i didnt feel like skyping one night
i had just about had enough anyway, more arguments that anything else over the past 2 weeks.
And yes skyping was the entire reason. We only had arguments about skyping and nothing else.
sounds like a shitty relationship
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;38376907]Maybe you should've asked if something was the matter, if something else was troubling her. People like to argue over stupid things when theres something bothering them.[/QUOTE]
i did and she assured me nothing was wrong
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