Sex, Girlfriends and Shit IV

[DatWut?]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38821420]thread title: "sex, girlfriends and shit"[/QUOTE]

Well uh, 2 of those are things I can't really say much about.

[junker|154]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;38822766]I sometimes feel that the best advice I can give to most people here is "break up with her/him" because in most cases, weren't the "dependence" most people are in with their relationships, I'd say that would be the cure for at least 90% of the unhappiness here. But that's only me and my opinion's worth is what it is. And obviously I have to post my reasons because "ditch that bitch" is not the best advice to give all the time.

Well, yeah, she's either jealous or she kinda feels that you pay more atention to those girls than to her. Either way, she's over reacting.

You did nothing wrong.

She's feeling that she's losing control over you which is bad for her. I think your GF's problem is the fact that she doesn't hear the words "no" and "I do what I want with my life" as often as she should.

And no, in this case there are no limits. She must understand that your space is your space and that she should have her space too instead of living from your attention.

You shouldn't fight or argue with her. Instead just stand your ground and when she orders you to stop visiting them, just say no.

Don't go all "but baby... please!" that's just a sign that she can do whatever she wants in the relationship and that's not just right.

My ex used to be like that and I started saying no more often as she tried to demand that I changed for her.
Well, not to scare you or anything and I'm not saying it will be your case, but for me, that was the main reason I broke up with her, I couldn't take it anymore.

And one thing you shouldn't do in a relationship is stop being yourself and stop doing the things and visiting the people you like. That's bigger than any relationship because a real love is a person that likes you, TRUSTS you and accepts you.

In fact, I can give you an example of my cousin. He's a biker, had a gf once that wanted him to quit riding bikes and decided it would be a good idea to try to sell his Harley Davidson and throw out all his motorbike gear.

Bad Idea, he broke up with her that instant and she never saw him again.
I used to think that was a little harsh from him to do, but now I understand he's right. She was being oppressive, and my cousin was nothing but oppressive to her.

I just don't know but some girls, damn are they so obsessed with ruling over relationships.

What I'm trying to say is:

- A relationship in which someone's always trying to rule over another is not a good relationship.
- A relationship where couples try to establish norms or rules or terms or whatever so "it may work" is not a good relationship.
- A couple that can only find romance in fancy restaurants, is not a healthy couple.

- A Boyfriend who always passes the responsibility of choice to the other person because "I don't know, I'm ok with whatever you feel like" will only get the other person used to do what she wants, and then, you no longer know what you want, and so when you finally do what you want (or what you think you want), you're not enjoying it at all.[/QUOTE]

Exactly, I don't want to change myself and become something that I don't want to be. It's just ridiculous, I feel like a damn child asking his parents if he can go out with his friends. I think I will just say nothing the next time if it is something trivial like that. If I had said nothing in the first place, there would be no argument.

[lackingsaint]

[QUOTE=DatWut?;38826721]Well uh, 2 of those are things I can't really say much about.[/QUOTE]

I would love to hear what you have to say about shit. Which is your favourite?

[st0rmforce]

[QUOTE=DatWut?;38826721]Well uh, 2 of those are things I can't really say much about.[/QUOTE]

Yeah me too.
I've been single for ages and I gave up shitting last year.

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=junker|154;38826816]Exactly, I don't want to change myself and become something that I don't want to be. It's just ridiculous, I feel like a damn child asking his parents if he can go out with his friends. I think I will just say nothing the next time if it is something trivial like that. If I had said nothing in the first place, there would be no argument.[/QUOTE]

You should not tell her. In fact it's your business, why does she have to be informed of everything?
She probably felt you were up to no good or something.

[st0rmforce]

Possibly she thinks that you telling her about it, indicates that you think it was worth mentioning. Like you had a guilty conscience and wanted to start denying it as soon as possible.

[DatWut?]

[QUOTE=st0rmforce;38827108]Yeah me too.
I've been single for ages and I gave up shitting last year.[/QUOTE]

That's the type of response I expected. :v:

[st0rmforce]

[QUOTE=DatWut?;38827450]That's the type of response I expected. :v:[/QUOTE]

Glad to be of service gov'ner

In truth, I've had a couple of girlfriends, a small amount of sex and a diabolical amount of shit.
Not always at the same time though.

[lapsus_]

[QUOTE=Yahnich;38807198]i'll only accept my genitals getting slapped if she asks me in flawless latin[/QUOTE]

Amor, possum alapam in mentula tibi dare? [img]http://www.modacity.net/forums/styles/smilies/emot-smug.gif[/img]

/ || 'a.mor | 'pos.sum 'a.la.pam 'in 'mɛn.tu.laː 'ti.bi daː.re? || /

[DatWut?]

[QUOTE=lapsus_;38827557]Amor, possum alapam in mentula tibi dare? [IMG]http://www.modacity.net/forums/styles/smilies/emot-smug.gif[/IMG]

/ || 'a.mor | 'pos.sum 'a.la.pam 'in 'mɛn.tu.laː 'ti.bi daː.re? || /[/QUOTE]

I had latin for a couple of years, rather tempted to record me saying that. :v:

[junker|154]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;38827246]You should not tell her. In fact it's your business, why does she have to be informed of everything?
She probably felt you were up to no good or something.[/QUOTE]

Well, I always told her everything as a sign of trust and that I don't want to hide anything from her. Seems like it's counterproductive :v:

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=st0rmforce;38827288]Possibly she thinks that you telling her about it, indicates that you think it was worth mentioning. Like you had a guilty conscience and wanted to start denying it as soon as possible.[/QUOTE]

I never thought of it like that, you might be right.

[trotskygrad]

[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;38825388]Yesterday marked 1 year since I was dumped.
Still rocking the single thing, but i've not felt this good in a long time.

[editline]fdasf[/editline]

Its strange... 5 or so months ago when the 1 year mark of me meeting her came... I was an absolute wreck. I was closer to depression (or maybe I [I]was[/I] depressed, I don't know) then than I have been in a [I]looong[/I] time.
I was so bad I ended up hitting a turtle on the way in to work... which certainly didn't help things as I've always seen and stopped for them to help them cross. That was the first time I'd hit something with my car.
I was angry, irritable, sad, and... empty. I remained like this for several days until some event of clarity occurred and I bounced back from wherever I was. I remember thinking then about what yesterday was going to be like.

And then 11 o'clock PM passes as I'm driving out to see some friends and watch the Hobbit (great movie, BTW).
It was then that I even remembered what that day was. A rather positive sign of how far I've come, and a testament to show that no matter how much her departure from your life fucks up your head, you absolutely [I]can[/I] recover.

I also mailed out my finalized college application that day. I think its about time I started college. Gonna major in Electrical and Computer Engineering. And I know I'll meet a lot of new people along the way.

[editline]fdsaf[/editline]

Oh and I saw a meteor. That was cool. A single meteor falling in the direction I was driving.[/QUOTE]

talking to other friends doesn't help?

[DatWut?]

[QUOTE=st0rmforce;38827524]Glad to be of service gov'ner

In truth, I've had a couple of girlfriends, a small amount of sex and a diabolical amount of shit.
Not always at the same time though.[/QUOTE]

In the best cases, however...

[S31-Syntax]

[QUOTE=trotskygrad;38827808]talking to other friends doesn't help?[/QUOTE]

Of that happened quite a bit, I talk to my friends about a lot of things. However that "event of clarity" was something I had to do on my own, I told myself from the start. No assistance, and whatever the turnout, I was not to dwell on it. Whatever happened that day, i was to mark it as the end of the chapter regarding my ex, good or bad.

I didn't go into detail about it because I feel I babble too much sometimes. Most of the time I prefer to listen.

[Rolf alexander]

i feel like i am in a bit of a pinch here, two days ago i had a test at school (i'm 18) and after the test i had about half an hour of spare time so i decided to sit down in one of the school couches and look at stuff on the internet (facepunch and youtube, that kinda stuff).

now this one girl, whom i've been in the same class as for two years (and i have a crush on) but almost never talked to just comes up to me and plonks down right next to me. me being the depressed almost anti-social guy i am got kinda confused (i don't think it showed) and asked her if she just had a test too.

obviously she also just came from a test, and she too had some spare time since we were going to the same classroom next.

so i tried being a bit more polite and turned off my earphones and shut down my computer and asked her how it went, she says she thinks she did okay since math is one of her strong suits. after this we just keep talking, she tells me where and when and how much she works and i do the same to her, and
we talk about all sorts of general stuff like what to do after school and so on. then we went back to class and the day went on (it was the last break we had before going home and we do not get on teh same bus).

now, two days later this brings me to my problem. even though i have been a bit socially distant lately (problems with depression because of some stuff at home) ive never been known as anti social (my nickname is party-rolf) and i love being around people. but i havent even got nearly as many friends as her, and she get in on a lot more activities than me.

i have two free tickets i can use to see any movie at the local cinema (including the hobbit!) and i was planning on going with my parents, but they cant so they told me to use the tickets with someone else.

i really really wanna ask her to watch a movie with me but since we are in most of the same classes if she says no i think it will be awkward and i will just feel less social than ever.

if she says yes i have enough money for candy and drinks at the cinema, and a little more (harsh month with lodsa bills)

can anyone give me some advice, does the potential positives outweigh the negatives or should i leave it be? (i know most of you will say i should go for it)

i am not super fit, but not overweight or anything either, and i consider myself good looking (heard it from more people than just my mother).

help mee!

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

oh man that was a little longer than i wanted it to be, i should stop posting from quick reply :v

[SCopE5000]

Condom breakages are annoying as fuck and really frequent..

I always have this regret after not using protection/ breaking condoms for weeks, that I've gotten the girl pregnant.. I really wish guys had more say in pregnancy, because right now if a guy doesn't want a kid, he's screwed financially & has no choice, even if the girl says 'cya' and runs off, never to be seen again.

[trotskygrad]

[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;38828850]Of that happened quite a bit, I talk to my friends about a lot of things. However that "event of clarity" was something I had to do on my own, I told myself from the start. No assistance, and whatever the turnout, I was not to dwell on it. Whatever happened that day, i was to mark it as the end of the chapter regarding my ex, good or bad.

I didn't go into detail about it because I feel I babble too much sometimes. Most of the time I prefer to listen.[/QUOTE]

being friends with her wouldn't work given the nature of the break up?

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Rolf alexander;38829637]words[/QUOTE]

get to know her a bit better then ask her out to the movie I'd say (like her schedule and whatnot)

that way you'll know when a good time for her would be and won't get the "I can't, I have to do... "

[Shadow801]

Recently, I had a lot of sex. What should I do?

[trotskygrad]

[QUOTE=Shadow801;38830043]Recently, I had a lot of sex. What should I do?[/QUOTE]

get tested

[Turnips5]

[QUOTE=Shadow801;38830043]Recently, I had a lot of sex. What should I do?[/QUOTE]

do a backflip

[Maruhai]

[QUOTE=SCopE5000;38829931]Condom breakages are annoying as fuck and really frequent..

I always have this regret after not using protection/ breaking condoms for weeks, that I've gotten the girl pregnant.. I really wish guys had more say in pregnancy, because right now if a guy doesn't want a kid, he's screwed financially & has no choice, even if the girl says 'cya' and runs off, never to be seen again.[/QUOTE]
What about abortion ?

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Shadow801;38830043]Recently, I had a lot of sex. What should I do?[/QUOTE]
Enjoy and just be careful about pregnancy.

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=junker|154;38827687]Well, I always told her everything as a sign of trust and that I don't want to hide anything from her. Seems like it's counterproductive :v:
[/QUOTE]
It's not about start doing things behind her back, she just doesn't need to know everything you're up to. If she asks, yeah sure, but don't keep on informing her of every breath you take. That's just dull.

[S31-Syntax]

[QUOTE=trotskygrad;38830022]being friends with her wouldn't work given the nature of the break up?
[/QUOTE]

When she dumped me, I was blocked/removed from facebook and skype, was advised not to call, text, email, or visit as I was no longer welcome, and the one time I attempted conversation some 3 months later she quite literally ran from me and hid in the backseat of her car. I haven't had a single word with since and I've not seen her in 9 months. Breakup came in the form of a facebook message.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=SCopE5000;38829931]I really wish guys had more say in pregnancy, because right now if a guy doesn't want a kid, he's screwed financially & has no choice, even if the girl says 'cya' and runs off, never to be seen again.[/QUOTE]

guys' say in pregnancy: don't have unprotected sex
anyway are you talking about the same girl or different girls? if it's the same girl talk to her about getting birth control

[Rolf alexander]

so i should just wait? can anyone give me a second opinion? (i do appreciate the help, i just need more advice)

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=SCopE5000;38829931]Condom breakages are annoying as fuck and really frequent..

I always have this regret after not using protection/ breaking condoms for weeks, that I've gotten the girl pregnant.. I really wish guys had more say in pregnancy, because right now if a guy doesn't want a kid, he's screwed financially & has no choice, even if the girl says 'cya' and runs off, never to be seen again.[/QUOTE]

Condoms shouldn't really be breaking frequently? Sure your not using them wrong, or got the wrong ones or something?

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Rolf alexander;38831092]so i should just wait? can anyone give me a second opinion? (i do appreciate the help, i just need more advice)[/QUOTE]

You haven't really talked to her much so I think initiate some more conversation and see how it goes with her. I think it is up to you though, if the next conversation goes well with her I think you could ask her to go see the hobbit with you or such. (I recommend either picking a specific movie or having a small list of movies currently showing in your head so it's not a long looking up what there is and when its on and want to see this, well I dont really want to how about this, etc. Should keep you from getting pulled to some movie you dont like)

[Maruhai]

[QUOTE=Yahnich;38830349]abortion has never been the man's decision[/QUOTE]
Unless you raped somebody or the girl is a total asshole, you're still gonna have some influence on abortion, even as a man.

If you raped the girl, you deserved it anyway.

[Swearblocked]

no you really dont, you can voice your opinion but it still is up to the girl everytime. its her body and she is the one going through the process

[Rolf alexander]

aaah! i decided to do the smart thing and call my mom, she told me to just go for it because i have nothing to lose from it.

i might never get a real chance to speak to her like i did that time again, with the rest of our school year consisting of exams and lods of etests. so even if being a little blunt might be the method least likely to succeed i decided to just go for it and send her a text, i would ask her in person if i had a chance.

but i do respect the advice i have gotten here, and even if she says no i do not think i will beat myself up over it. so thanks guys (and gals)

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

i mean, we just started talking and POOF! and 45 minutes had passed, i won't have the possibility to initiate another such conversation, even though if i had an oppertunity to go with that option i would.

[Regorc's Chest]

My ex and I were talking the other day and she brought up how over the summer she thought I had been selfish in bed. I agreed with her and told her how I had regretted it since the day I left, and we still somehow almost ended up arguing :v:

She's strong headed and I like debating but I can never say things the right way to her, so what was meant to be "I'm totally to blame for my selfishness and I'm not denying that, however I would have liked if you had tried a bit more to seduce me when I wasn't entirely in the mood, because I enjoy the build up as much as the action" came out more like "Yeah I know but it was your fault too you didn't try hard enough" :suicide:

Sometimes I feel like such a dolt.

In other news I'm finally pulling my shit together after the break-up, not a moment too soon, I had 3 assignments due today.

[editline]14th December 2012[/editline]

Also as a lad of 17 on a games design course with no girls in my class who spent most of his years in paid education and has little in the way of outside hobbies, I have absolutely no idea of how to do this whole "single" thing in terms of meeting girls, although I realise that other than that it's business as usual.

But I'm 18 in January and I enjoy a good drink as do a few of my friends so maybe I'll start socialising then :v:

For now I fill my void with wonderful no-(ok ever so slightly)homo bromance.