Your not going to loose her just because of going back to school. There's always weekends!
One thing that I'm worried about my future relationships is pacing. I mean I'm sure it'll work itself out naturally, but since my first relationship was paced pretty weirdly because of circumstances, sometime I wonder if it's going to have an adverse effect on my future ones.
I mean, the pacing of the relationship went something like:
-Meet online through friends one evening, get along great
-3 days later ask her out
-Like 2-3 weeks later I propose that I could visit her in America in the summer
-2 months later I finally actually meet her
-It's planned to be a 2 week trip that cost a lot and won't be easily repeatable, so within 3 days of actually meeting each other we're having sex
-Trip gets extended to 2 months, reach a more "normal" relationship pace
-Then 9 months apart going real slow because online relationship
-Then 3 more months together of normal relationship.
Honestly I'm mostly worried that I'm going to end up pushing things too fast in future after the whole spontaneous trip and practically instant sex.
it's not like having sex is some kind of magic milestone that if you reach it too quick your relationship is ~~ doomed forever and will go nowhere ~~
that kind of perspective is just remnants of the whole ~~ dont have sex before you are married ~~ (unless you are a man) thing from the last couple thousand years.
basically as long as you got protection and all that sex is Not A Big Deal (well, it is in a way, but not THAT big of a deal)
the other day i just found out my friend is not having sex until marriage
ive always known he was quite christian, but i never knew this about him
i didnt make a big fuss about it but it was really surprising
i don't really think sex should be viewed as an 'endpoint' in a relationship. maintained sexual relations with someone are more of a learning experience, over time you become more accustomed to the other's body and what they enjoy and the sex gradually gets better.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;39058883]my new years resolution is to be happy
knowing my luck i won't even be able to fulfill this resolution[/QUOTE]
chemistry yo
jk
So I had sex without any condoms for the first time today, oh boy it was different but really great. It's nice not to worry about condoms, it's an inconveniance. For some reason I can have sex a lot more than before, I can repeat multiple times a day. Also I lasted a lot longer, although that could have been my mood.
I just met my first 'real' girlfriend at college. She's an hour drive away, so I've been seeing her ~once every two weeks over our winter break. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been getting a little more physical; do you think I should wait until we're back at college before trying our should I risk seeing if we could go to her house? I don't want to alienate her parents on this.
So my girlfriend used to be anorexic, she's getting help now and she's very open about it. She had put on her Facebook that she had gained 5 pounds and was really happy, but still 13 pounds underweight. I had messaged her saying that I was really happy for her that it had worried me, she responded that she still has a ways to go but some color is returning to her face, but I would have to tell her if her hands were still cold (I haven't seen her in like 2 weeks because of winter break) I responded telling her that even if they were still cold I'd keep them warm. She wrote back <3 you really are perfect :)
I felt like a boss
Thanks for the heads up
[QUOTE=Campin Carl;39054712]Your not going to loose her just because of going back to school. There's always weekends![/QUOTE]
Eh, she 'can't hang out'
lol
So I could use a little advice... there's a guy who's really keen on my girlfriend, she knows him from tumblr as they shared a great deal of interests like walks/forraging, veganism, folkpunk, things that don't interest me, and he's been down a few times to meet her, stayed at the house she shares with some friends. I trust her, and I've expressed my worries about it but she's really assured me that I shouldn't worried at all. Apparently I'm only the person who can see the guys a bit of a creep, really pulling out the big goofy compliments online, taking photos of her captioning them with flattery, seems to always talk to her on facebook. I can't stand him, I dislike his stereotype, his annoying method of flattery, and how he wants her to get to dimple piercings or do her hair differently etc.
I haven't been able to leave my town much because of uni work so I don't get to go to her house or see much of her friends, and seeing this guy mingling just great with her friends, it irritates me, I can't help it, I've never had any issues with her male friends, even ones who in their own quiet way had feelings for her. When she says there is nothing going on I really do trust her, but this is the sort of guy she might go for if she was single, he's just going to be there waiting for a falter in our relationship, or maybe he'll win her over oneday with his endless siege of goofball compliments. She hasn't told me straight, but in private I know at least it he expressed that he had feelings for her, so she knows that.
I honestly just want this guy out of my life, I hate seeing the photos of great days he's had with my gf and all the sickly compliments, but I have to respect it's actually her life and she can't just make friends disappear even if they are creeps. I reallly don't know if I'm over or underreacting.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;39064912]So I could use a little advice... there's a guy who's really keen on my girlfriend, she knows him from tumblr as they shared a great deal of interests like walks/forraging, veganism, folkpunk, things that don't interest me, and he's been down a few times to meet her, stayed at the house she shares with some friends. I trust her, and I've expressed my worries about it but she's really assured me that I shouldn't worried at all. Apparently I'm only the person who can see the guys a bit of a creep, really pulling out the big goofy compliments online, taking photos of her captioning them with flattery, seems to always talk to her on facebook. I can't stand him, I dislike his stereotype, his annoying method of flattery, and how he wants her to get to dimple piercings or do her hair differently etc.
I haven't been able to leave my town much because of uni work so I don't get to go to her house or see much of her friends, and seeing this guy mingling just great with her friends, it irritates me, I can't help it, I've never had any issues with her male friends, even ones who in their own quiet way had feelings for her. When she says there is nothing going on I really do trust her, but this is the sort of guy she might go for if she was single, he's just going to be there waiting for a falter in our relationship, or maybe he'll win her over oneday with his endless siege of goofball compliments. She hasn't told me straight, but in private I know at least it he expressed that he had feelings for her, so she knows that.
I honestly just want this guy out of my life, I hate seeing the photos of great days he's had with my gf and all the sickly compliments, but I have to respect it's actually her life and she can't just make friends disappear even if they are creeps. I reallly don't know if I'm over or underreacting.[/QUOTE]
If it helps I know that a lot of women misinterpret the very subtle things shy guys do. She probably doesn't take it romantically, hence why she said you have nothing to worry about.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;39064912]So I could use a little advice... there's a guy who's really keen on my girlfriend, she knows him from tumblr as they shared a great deal of interests like walks/forraging, veganism, folkpunk, things that don't interest me, and he's been down a few times to meet her, stayed at the house she shares with some friends. I trust her, and I've expressed my worries about it but she's really assured me that I shouldn't worried at all. Apparently I'm only the person who can see the guys a bit of a creep, really pulling out the big goofy compliments online, taking photos of her captioning them with flattery, seems to always talk to her on facebook. I can't stand him, I dislike his stereotype, his annoying method of flattery, and how he wants her to get to dimple piercings or do her hair differently etc.
I haven't been able to leave my town much because of uni work so I don't get to go to her house or see much of her friends, and seeing this guy mingling just great with her friends, it irritates me, I can't help it, I've never had any issues with her male friends, even ones who in their own quiet way had feelings for her. When she says there is nothing going on I really do trust her, but this is the sort of guy she might go for if she was single, he's just going to be there waiting for a falter in our relationship, or maybe he'll win her over oneday with his endless siege of goofball compliments. She hasn't told me straight, but in private I know at least it he expressed that he had feelings for her, so she knows that.
I honestly just want this guy out of my life, I hate seeing the photos of great days he's had with my gf and all the sickly compliments, but I have to respect it's actually her life and she can't just make friends disappear even if they are creeps. I reallly don't know if I'm over or underreacting.[/QUOTE]
get on TOR, hire a hitman
kidding
you're doing the best you can dude, stay strong. the more you bring him up to her, the more she's just going to think about him. remember, you're the awesome motherfucker that got the girl before he did. if you let this goof get to you, sooner or later you're going to start bracing yourself for the worst, and she'll be able to notice it happening, and then shit will hit the fan at that point
I didn't mean that I was worried about the sex being to soon or an endpoint, I personally have very free views about sex and don't tie it to relationships/love necessarily, I just meant I was worried about going too fast about things in general.
I think the main problem for me (even though I think he's real funny looking) is that I consider him a threat. When me and girlfriend were together, for first couple of years we shared cutural interests and similiar lifestyles, almost 4 years in now we live differently and like different things though our relationship never really changed. This guy comes along he likes and enjoys doing things that she does, maybe she would prefer to be with a fellow vegan who will goes on walks and all that. I'm not with her because of her interests though, and I hope she values me more than whatever started the friendship with this guy.
[QUOTE=DoctorSalt;39065400]If it helps I know that a lot of women misinterpret the very subtle things shy guys do. She probably doesn't take it romantically, hence why she said you have nothing to worry about.[/QUOTE]
I think that's part of the problem, I mean she does know he likes her, and that I dislike him. The photos they have together or are a bit close looking, but she doesn't interpret them that way. I did try explaining to her by asking how she would feel if it was a girl who liked me and shared common interests with me who I was seeing.
[QUOTE=djshox;39065553]you're doing the best you can dude, stay strong. the more you bring him up to her, the more she's just going to think about him. remember, you're the awesome motherfucker that got the girl before he did. if you let this goof get to you, sooner or later you're going to start bracing yourself for the worst, and she'll be able to notice it happening, and then shit will hit the fan at that point[/QUOTE]
Good points, I'll keep this in mind.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;39066015]I think the main problem for me (even though I think he's real funny looking) is that I consider him a threat. When me and girlfriend were together, for first couple of years we shared cutural interests and similiar lifestyles, almost 4 years in now we live differently and like different things though our relationship never really changed. This guy comes along he likes and enjoys doing things that she does, maybe she would prefer to be with a fellow vegan who will goes on walks and all that. I'm not with her because of her interests though, and I hope she values me more than whatever started the friendship with this guy.
I think that's part of the problem, I mean she does know he likes her, and that I dislike him. The photos they have together or are a bit close looking, but she doesn't interpret them that way. I did try explaining to her by asking how she would feel if it was a girl who liked me and shared common interests with me who I was seeing.
Good points, I'll keep this in mind.[/QUOTE]
I say kill him, or beat the shit out of him. Just to be safe.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;39068056]I hate it when my girlfriend does that. She plays off attempts by other guys to get in her pants as "Oh he's just complimenting me!" Yeah, okay.
I know she just likes hearing nice things about herself and who doesn't, but come on. Really rude, especially when your boyfriend is standing right there.[/QUOTE]
I had that problem once, honestly the more relationships you have, you realize that they're already with you for a reason. Some dude complimenting her could be nefarious or not but in the grand scheme it doesn't matter because that dude isn't going home with her, and she's not gonna leave you over one compliment.
[editline]2nd January 2013[/editline]
Unless it's a really good compliment
[editline]2nd January 2013[/editline]
Besides, if you were to be cheated on or left because some dude was a smoother talker, would you really feel like you had lost anything? Maybe some temporary happiness and love/affection, but that person was clearly not someone you should want to be with or mourn not being with.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;39068056]I hate it when my girlfriend does that. She plays off attempts by other guys to get in her pants as "Oh he's just complimenting me!" Yeah, okay.
I know she just likes hearing nice things about herself and who doesn't, but come on. Really rude, especially when your boyfriend is standing right there.[/QUOTE]
You know that thing dogs do when they piss all over the crib ?
it really disgusts me when guys think they're going to get in a girl's pants by showering them with compliments at every chance they get.
my bf and i both get hit on a lot and we usually resort to showing people pictures of us together and talk about the other until they get the idea.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39068849]it really disgusts me when guys think they're going to get in a girl's pants by showering them with compliments at every chance they get.
my bf and i both get hit on a lot and we usually resort to showing people pictures of us together and talk about the other until they get the idea.[/QUOTE]
Not to be offensive or anything but do you really know that it's their intention?
[QUOTE=JohanGS;39069085]Not to be offensive or anything but do you really know that it's their intention?[/QUOTE]
yes generally that is the case when my bf gets emails from coworkers asking for his number
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39070636]yes generally that is the case when my bf gets emails from coworkers asking for his number[/QUOTE]
... and how often does this happen?
New years eve was mine and my girlfriend's 14 month anniversary, I didn't pick the best time to ask her out as there isn't a 31st every month. :/
Then next time you are doing something worth celebrating every month, wait until right after 12, 'cause there's a 1st in every month!
[QUOTE=JohanGS;39070778]... and how often does this happen?[/QUOTE]
how is this relevant? i didn't realize making a comment on how i deal with being hit on would instigate a pissing contest.
[QUOTE=Campin Carl;39070929]Then next time you are doing something worth celebrating every month, wait until right after 12, 'cause there's a 1st in every month![/QUOTE]
You've made me feel a lot better, thanks :).
[QUOTE=Campin Carl;39070929]Then next time you are doing something worth celebrating every month, wait until right after 12, 'cause there's a 1st in every month![/QUOTE]
why did this post confuse me so much
Aaaaand it's easier to remember :v:
[editline]2nd January 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;39071026]why did this post confuse me so much[/QUOTE]
I meant midnight at new years eve, but it could work for other last day of the month dates.
If I'd mean the date 12. I would have written 12th, did this clarify for you?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39070970]how is this relevant? i didn't realize making a comment on how i deal with being hit on would instigate a pissing contest.[/QUOTE]
You made it sound like that happens 24/7, but what do I know? I don't even english.
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