[QUOTE=phobia-_-;39089396]I think you should just move on, it doesn't seem like its working out.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. You say "it's not even salvageable" (or something like that), you know yourself what you need to do. We all do bad/stupid things, just don't let it get you down and make sure you learn from it next time. What's done is done.
I'm not sure if this chick is just playing hard to get, or if I've been friendzoned. Any way to tell for sure?
[QUOTE=Jrwiley;39090057]I'm not sure if this chick is just playing hard to get, or if I've been friendzoned. Any way to tell for sure?[/QUOTE]
Ah the friendzone, all to often have I fallen to that zone. How are you around eachother, how long have you known her and what do you do when you hang out?
[QUOTE=BnevolntElefant;39089302]tings[/QUOTE]
I don't know man, while of course you messed up I struggle to sympathise with her when she was lazily avoiding contact with you and lying to you, rather than just saying she still loved you but needed some space. If she wants you to prove your sorry, then I would ask her to do the same, but if she feels she has nothing to say sorry for, then I doubt anything will change for better. It sounds like you should move on, but think about if it really is salvageable, if you're really ready for this breakup, and if you're taking what you do have for granted.
[QUOTE=sphinxa279;39089279]Yeah I done the hip grabs while moving around the kitchen, helps having a narrow kitchen, had dinner then just sat on the sofa with a bottle of wine. Was a really lovely evening.[/QUOTE]
Did you just ask her if she wanted to come round and make some food with you?
[QUOTE=Methylparaben;39091374]Did you just ask her if she wanted to come round and make some food with you?[/QUOTE]
Already had it planned for her to come round and have me cook dinner for her, but I just asked her if she wanted to give me a hand while I was starting to prepare and she jumped at the opportunity to cook with me.
[QUOTE=Jrwiley;39090057]I'm not sure if this chick is just playing hard to get, or if I've been friendzoned. Any way to tell for sure?[/QUOTE]
friendzone doesn't exist unless you believe it does
but anyways elaborate on your situation
[QUOTE=Jrwiley;39090057]I'm not sure if this chick is just playing hard to get, or if I've been friendzoned. Any way to tell for sure?[/QUOTE]
Someone a while back said to me that you don't get freindzoned; the girl either counts you as a friend or likes you.
the word friendzone means so much different shit and autistic virgin spergs use it to mean "help i do not understand women i am being nice but not getting sex???" but really if you think you are in the friendzone you are because hard to get only works on peeps with confidence and hate to be rude you dont seem like a super confident dude
[editline]4th January 2013[/editline]
i have a friend that i had a thing for, even after we fooled around she said that we should stay friends because "i dont think of you in that way" and i was like "its cool." like two days later we had sex and then she said "that was a really awful mistake are we still friends" and i went "mmmm yeah okay" and we've been "best friends" since. she said we should get an apartment together. friendzone? hell yeah. regardless of the obvious signs otherwise i still think she wants to have sex with me though
another girl that i made out with and shacked with seemed to be girlfriending it up the week before winter break. we've been texting every day through break then one day messaged me about her problems with other dudes who are definitely cooler and older and more attractive than me and i was like damn thats a crash course into the friend zone
every time i have been close friends with a girl it has ended up with a relationship or the girl really liking me
which is why i literally dont even understand how people say they're in the friendzone
Can we please get over this dumb bullshit about "the friendzone doesn't exist"
Lets get this straight, over the years I have known a lot of guys. Many of which I have considered friends, i've also had a fair number of boyfriends but they didn't specifically act that different. Just just appealed to me, not even often because they were super confident musclemen or some shit! my current bf and I spent half a school year dancing around with subtle hints trying to figure out what our chances were of the other liking us. So lets this get this straight about the guys I have known as friends and boyfriends:
I would not fuck all of them.
I would not date all of them.
This is not necessaries related to how confident they acted with me or how they played "the game" as it were.
I get that a lot of people come in here not using the term correctly but it is completely ridiculous to claim that if a girl doesn't want to get with you it is completely your fault for not farsing around in the right ways to get her attention as boyfriend material rather than friend material.
This fails completely to take into account that women have emotions, and not everyone is compatible with everyone, and girls have "types" of guys they like to date and [I]they arn't all the same.[/I] As is often oversimplified to in this thread.
The key to getting girls doesn't exist. The key to getting girls eventually who you can stick with is to be yourself, and be comfortable with yourself as you are.
We can provide some guidelines but not only does confidence have to come from being happy with yourself (not just faking the shit out of it), this thread can't do everything for you, and it isn't the be all end all of anything! The comments can often seem that way, like we must know fucking everything about everything and our advice is well tested truth. It's not.
We can provide a good outside perspective on a situation so you can get an idea of if she likes you or not, give ideas of what you could do proceed but at the root of all that what matters is being yourself, and if you get friendzoned that isn't wholely your fault as it can be made out for not doing enough "kino(A term I find sounds like incredibly pretentious for something that just means touch her arm or some shit)" or presenting yourself as nice but not tooo nice or anything else like that. Sometimes that can be a factor but I found it outright ridiculous how a lot of this thread seems to act about these things.
edit: These paragraphs may or may not make an ounce of sense my typing goes to shit when I'm annoyed.
TL:DR Girls can have guy friends even if guys feel incapable of accepting having girl friends that look good but you don't want to fuck.
The friendzone is very very real. The difference between being a delusional, hopeless romantic and being in the friendzone is defined by whether or not the girl is teasing you. If she KNOWS what she's doing, it's the friendzone.
Easy way to avoid the "friendzone" don't be a massive friend to her, don't always be there for her, don't talk to her whenever you can, don't do favours for her if she asks, assert yourself, be confident and you can most of the time be in with a shot.
should add though this is from personal experience.
[QUOTE=Aetna;39096904]The friendzone is very very real. The difference between being a delusional, hopeless romantic and being in the friendzone is defined by whether or not the girl is teasing you. If she KNOWS what she's doing, it's the friendzone.[/QUOTE]
If the girl is teasing you, and you think you're in the friendzone, you're in a much worse place. You're in the bitchzone. You are the girl's bitch. She's enjoying lording it over you and knowing that you'll never man up to her.
[QUOTE=Aetna;39096904]The friendzone is very very real. The difference between being a delusional, hopeless romantic and being in the friendzone is defined by whether or not the girl is teasing you. If she KNOWS what she's doing, it's the friendzone.[/QUOTE]
its sounding like you're blaming it on the girl to me
But Yanich, how long is it going to take to work out if penis in your ass is what you want in life?
Also, here's my big tip on the freindzone and how to avoid it: get over it. Girls make great friends, why do you have to make a zone out of it and make a big deal when you're there instead of in their pants?
[QUOTE=Cheesemonkey;39097604]its sounding like you're blaming it on the girl to me[/QUOTE]
I'm not in the friendzone with anyone at the moment, that's just my experience.
[QUOTE=thisispain;39088439]idk why but the idea of cooking things just to feel up girls seems kind of funny and strange to me[/QUOTE]
"When you’re done eating, wash the dishes together: another way to make her wet."
Best part of that article.
i'm just getting sick of everyone saying "hurr durr friendzone doesn't exist!!"
it means different things to different people. not everyone uses it because they're a "nice guy". i don't see what's wrong with accepting that someone you have a crush on isn't romantically interested in you back.
but saying "friendzone doesn't exist" is just a kneejerk reaction to any use of the word at this point
if someone's acting like that then i can understand it but it's a very ambiguous word and the definition you've attributed to it isn't the one that a lot of people are aware of.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;39097828]friendzone isn't a thing; you're either a possible match or you're just her friend
nothing will ever change that (besides maturing etc etc)[/QUOTE]
But as the word friendzone implies, it's just a "zone" where you're just friends, that people that can't handle that blow out of proportion.
[editline]4th January 2013[/editline]
Yeah, it's people shifting the blame and not using the term correct- actually there isn't even a correct way to use friendzone, it's just called being friends.
I agree with everyone! aahhhh
F̶i̶s̶h̶ Girls are friends, not F̶o̶o̶d̶ objects for the purpose of sexual gratification.
[editline]4th January 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Rhenae;39098002]I agree with everyone! aahhhh[/QUOTE]
That's because we're all saying pretty much the same thing different ways with slightly different interpretations but the same underlying message and/or theme.
[editline]4th January 2013[/editline]
Aaahhhhhh
I for one feel the friendzone exists to en extent... but I think it's the result of when you leave it too late and blow your chances. If you're that close friends now, the chances of you being more than friends probably existed at some point. I think that's what's happened to me. Even though I pulled my best mate (who I may or may not be totally in love with), it's still pretty much too late to have any kind of real relationship. Purely because we've been best friends for so long, the only thing that's missing would be the sexual aspects, and to be honest I doubt they would actually live up to the "dream".
My main issue with the "friendzone", is that I feel it actively holds me back in finding other girls. I've got a lot of really good female mates, only one of whom I'd consider to have been "friendzoned" by... or rather, one of whom I voluntarily let friendzone me. So in terms of female company I'm absolutely set, which I think makes me really not give a shit about talking to prospective girlfriends. It does happen, and I'm a relatively confident guy, but most of the time I'm just kinda like "yeah you're pretty and all, but I get way better banter from my other girl mates" and I just lose interest.
I think that's definitely my biggest gripe with being too close to a girl.
[editline]4th January 2013[/editline]
I dont remember editing that post :S musta messed up while posting, but I expanded somewhat.
Friendzone is fucking stupid. I think I've made this statement so many times that its redundant because every time I do another bunch of people come in saying "I got friendzoned...:("
To me, the fact that a girl has decided that they do not like a person shouldn't be cause to make some weird construction or place that all the lonely guys in the world go to. Also because the idea of the friendzone tends to make people stay on the same girl for a lot longer. It's childish and is a terrible representation of how relationships between people actually work
friendzone talk is filled with spergs and flawed, chauvinistic information
i dont think it doesnt exist, its just not some weird magical realm of endlessness, and its not something that applies to every relationship
"friendzone" is a rationalisation, as simple as that.
whether it "exists" or not is completely irrelevant, you can't sum up complex social interactions with people you know.
if you like someone and they don't like you back you have a choice; act out negatively or accept it and be mindful of it. rationalising it is imo a step towards the former, i have had many "crushes" or infatuations and every time i tried rationalising it or giving it simplistic explanations i always ended up resenting people and that was childish of me.
I know many girls that I am friends with. There is no romantic attraction either way. I am their "friend". This is a "zone" I will stay in regardless of whether or not I [del]put more tokens into the relationship machine[/del] become romantically attracted to them. With those girls, I am in a "friend-zone"
if I [I]was[/I] romantically attracted to them, and then denied, then I have been placed into that "friend-zone" and in [I]that[/I] case, it sucks, because I was going for something and I failed. I could either A: flip my shit about how they don't ever go for "nice guys"
or
B: get the fuck over it and stay their friend. Because hey, yeah you failed, but unless you totally fucked it up then you made a new friend. right?
yes lets keep trying to categorize social interactions because well you see clearly the friendzone is A
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