So I was on Reddit, and there was a thread titled [URL="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/161hur/have_you_ever_fallen_in_love_with_your_best/"]"Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend? If so, what did you do and how did it go?"[/URL]
I posted a big ramble in there, It was meant to be a one paragraph thing... but I started spewing stuff. It felt kinda good to write it down though. Here it is, any thoughts? It sort of expands on my "friendzone" opinion from earlier.
"Friends for 6 years, Was madly in love with her for a good portion of that. She had other boyfriends though, and I learned to just keep myself to myself and made sure I was there for her as a mate. We eventually became best friends, and had an extremely close relationship but it lacked any kind of sexual aspect. I dated and liked other girls in the mean time, but there was always a lingering thing for her. We were drunk at my place once and I kinda confessed my feelings, and she said she'd felt the same in the past but had a boyfriend now, and that's that. Which is absolutely fair enough, it was stupid of me to even mention it.
Earlier this year, we ended up falling out for the first time over something relatively trivial (in hindsight), and never spoke for around 4 months. I knew it was eating her up inside as much as it was for me, it felt like a part of me was missing and I got the impression she was the same. I eventually invited her out for a drink to catch up and forget about why we even fell out. We ended up getting extremely drunk, she missed her train, so we stayed out and partied a little then she came back to mine to stay. She'd stayed at mine hundreds of times in the past, and we'd never done anything past a little spooning. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I basically kissed her on an impulse when we were in bed, and it felt fucking great. (Note, she was single at this point) I'd been wanting to do it for years, and it totally lived up to my expectations, I just wish I could have been sober.
The next day she left on a 3 month dancing tour of Europe, and I had a date with another girl that night. The entire time I was on my date I just kept thinking about how this girl was nothing compared to my best friend, when we kissed I never got butterflies or anything... and it wasn't until the night before I'd remembered what it's supposed to feel like. That was the last time I saw her.
So fast forward 3 months, and she's back from her tour. I wouldn't say things are weird, we still get on great... I'm just not sure where I stand. We've always been quite physical, she'll sit on my lap when we're at parties and we'll just chat away about funny stuff. We stayed over at the party and slept together and were pretty much entwined in each other. I'm afraid to say/do anything, because I need the confirmation that it's what she wants. I also feel like I don't have anything else left to say, she knows how I feel... but I dont really know how she feels. So from my point of view, the ball is in her court. I just don't think she's got the bottle to speak up, there's a part of me that thinks she sees this as a 100% platonic relationship and she's in a world of blissful ignorance... but there's another part that thinks that just can't be true.
So I'm not sure what's going on, or what to do. I tell myself I don't give a shit, and that if anything were to happen then go wrong it'd probably be the end of the best relationship I've ever had... I find it really hard to meet other girls, because their banter pales in comparison. I've got no lack for female company, it's just the sexual companionship that's lacking.
I hope I don't come across as pathetic here. I don't cry myself to sleep over it, but it's just a constant niggle in my life. I don't know how to shift it, one way or another. Any advice would be great, kudos if you made it this far into my ramble. I planned on making this one paragraph, but it feels good to get it off my chest."
[QUOTE=Scotchair;39116685]So I was on Reddit, and there was a thread titled [URL="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/161hur/have_you_ever_fallen_in_love_with_your_best/"]"Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend? If so, what did you do and how did it go?"[/URL]
I posted a big ramble in there, It was meant to be a one paragraph thing... but I started spewing stuff. It felt kinda good to write it down though. Here it is, any thoughts? It sort of expands on my "friendzone" opinion from earlier.
"Friends for 6 years, Was madly in love with her for a good portion of that. She had other boyfriends though, and I learned to just keep myself to myself and made sure I was there for her as a mate. We eventually became best friends, and had an extremely close relationship but it lacked any kind of sexual aspect. I dated and liked other girls in the mean time, but there was always a lingering thing for her. We were drunk at my place once and I kinda confessed my feelings, and she said she'd felt the same in the past but had a boyfriend now, and that's that. Which is absolutely fair enough, it was stupid of me to even mention it.
Earlier this year, we ended up falling out for the first time over something relatively trivial (in hindsight), and never spoke for around 4 months. I knew it was eating her up inside as much as it was for me, it felt like a part of me was missing and I got the impression she was the same. I eventually invited her out for a drink to catch up and forget about why we even fell out. We ended up getting extremely drunk, she missed her train, so we stayed out and partied a little then she came back to mine to stay. She'd stayed at mine hundreds of times in the past, and we'd never done anything past a little spooning. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I basically kissed her on an impulse when we were in bed, and it felt fucking great. (Note, she was single at this point) I'd been wanting to do it for years, and it totally lived up to my expectations, I just wish I could have been sober.
The next day she left on a 3 month dancing tour of Europe, and I had a date with another girl that night. The entire time I was on my date I just kept thinking about how this girl was nothing compared to my best friend, when we kissed I never got butterflies or anything... and it wasn't until the night before I'd remembered what it's supposed to feel like. That was the last time I saw her.
So fast forward 3 months, and she's back from her tour. I wouldn't say things are weird, we still get on great... I'm just not sure where I stand. We've always been quite physical, she'll sit on my lap when we're at parties and we'll just chat away about funny stuff. We stayed over at the party and slept together and were pretty much entwined in each other. I'm afraid to say/do anything, because I need the confirmation that it's what she wants. I also feel like I don't have anything else left to say, she knows how I feel... but I dont really know how she feels. So from my point of view, the ball is in her court. I just don't think she's got the bottle to speak up, there's a part of me that thinks she sees this as a 100% platonic relationship and she's in a world of blissful ignorance... but there's another part that thinks that just can't be true.
So I'm not sure what's going on, or what to do. I tell myself I don't give a shit, and that if anything were to happen then go wrong it'd probably be the end of the best relationship I've ever had... I find it really hard to meet other girls, because their banter pales in comparison. I've got no lack for female company, it's just the sexual companionship that's lacking.
I hope I don't come across as pathetic here. I don't cry myself to sleep over it, but it's just a constant niggle in my life. I don't know how to shift it, one way or another. Any advice would be great, kudos if you made it this far into my ramble. I planned on making this one paragraph, but it feels good to get it off my chest."[/QUOTE]
That's not pathetic at all, man. In fact I think you handled the situation as maturely and courteous as you could and you definitely have a special place in her heart.
I'm not going to tell the whole story again but your situation is pretty identical to the one I had with my ex. And the worries you're having now, all the "does she still like me" is something pretty understandable and normal. Damn, man, you're madly in love with that girl and I think it doesn't take much of a guess to say that she has strong feelings for you and the sexual thing is tempting and feels kinda like the forbidden fruit.
In fact, I kinda understand her reservations - that are the same as yours - there's just too much to lose if you fuck up and she probably feels the same.
In my case, I've known my ex for about 6/7 years (i don't know exactly), she had boyfriends, I had girlfriends in the meantime but we were always very physical too. We shared everything and I always had this flimsy love feeling for her even though I was dating other girls. (I think at some point she felt something for me too).
Well, one day (same story as yours) we were at a party, I invited her, we ended up at the beach at night, we lied down on top of the sand (she was single too at that point), we were both kinda drunk but she hadn't drink anything special and I kissed her. We stood there kissing for a while and yeah, it felt great. I felt the butterflies in my belly again and I decided to stick by her and be her boyfriend.
Well in my case , long story short, the relationship went down the drain. There was always this guy she loved the most. Her whole life boyfriend came back and... I was in the way. It ended up terribly cause she threw all the cliches at me. I turned away and left. I still keep contact with her, we exchanged text messages some months ago for some closure but we never spoke to each other ever again for 1 year and a half. I lost her and she lost me. I'm very sad for losing her in every aspect but I didn't cry when we broke up, in fact I recovered quite quickly. (but that's just me). I don't talk to her not because I'm mad but because I'm disappointed and feel there's nothing more to say. The way she broke things up, the lies and the hidden truths were something I never expected of here and the things that made me get away from her without looking back.
I lost a good friend and I don't know if we will ever talk again or if things will ever be as happy and naive as they were between us two. I don't care either, I moved on.
However, there's this cliché that goes around very often that goes something by "better to have loved once than to have never loved ever". And I'm proud I took the chance to have one of the greatest relationships I've ever had with her when things were good between us. I'm glad I tried and lost in the end even though I kinda got away from girls and dating for a bit and feel a bit numb when I'm dating again. It's all pretty normal.
In your case, yes the ball is in her court, give her some time, a week or two, she just arrived. After that I think you should go get her or talk to her or better yet, go make her happy and have fun, both of you. Life is short and I think you know what to do here. There's no formula, you know her.
What an excellent reply man, Thanks a lot. I'll definitely take it on board.
I'm still not sure though, she just told me there chatting online she was meant to be seeing some guy tonight. She bailed on him though because "he's a bit of an arse" :/
Ask her out then in some time. Do something nice.
She'll be happy to see you.
We're going ice climbing next week with a couple of other friends, might find a good opportunity sometime then. I appreciate the input :)
How long should I wait after an awesome date before messaging him back?
[QUOTE=Penultimate;39121909]How long should I wait after an awesome date before messaging him back?[/QUOTE]
No less than 13.5 hours and no more than 40.0 hours
(this is sarcasm (there is no time limit))
Was told some surprisingly good advice by my friend today regarding my recent break up
"Think of her as more of a side-quest and not the main story"
It was the right mix of amusing, good idea and appealing to my interests
[QUOTE=Penultimate;39121909]How long should I wait after an awesome date before messaging him back?[/QUOTE]
If he text you afterwards, text him back as soon as. If you're planning on texting him first, the next day is usually pretty good "I had a great time yesterday blah blah blah"
[QUOTE=Penultimate;39121909]How long should I wait after an awesome date before messaging him back?[/QUOTE]
FOREVER!
[QUOTE=Penultimate;39121909]How long should I wait after an awesome date before messaging him back?[/QUOTE]
it honestly doesn't matter, all that really matters is whether or not you're fretting/overthinking things like that. don't worry about the details, it's more about how you carry yourself.
I just found out that my girlfriend swallows. Which is very rare I believe.
[QUOTE=Greendead;39122727]I just found out that my girlfriend swallows. Which is very rare I believe.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://facepunch.com/image.php?u=61844&dateline=1348432006[/IMG]
I couldn't resist..
[QUOTE=Greendead;39122727]I just found out that my girlfriend swallows. Which is very rare I believe.[/QUOTE]
i don't think it's that rare, i'd imagine a lot of girls swallow just because it's less of a hassle than having to clean up.
tbh i don't really see why a girl would find it gross to swallow when she's already had it in her mouth anyway
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;39122993]i don't think it's that rare, i'd imagine a lot of girls swallow just because it's less of a hassle than having to clean up.
tbh i don't really see why a girl would find it gross to swallow when she's already had it in her mouth anyway[/QUOTE]
But all those sperm! Every single one of them could have become a child. Now all those children, I've swallowed them. They are in my stomach burning and squirming in my stomach acid, breaking down and destroying their DNA, destroying their gateway to a soul. My stomach eats away at them, as they flail in despair and loss.
[sp]What did I even just write.[/sp]
get her a glass of water?
idk
[QUOTE=Rhenae;39123254]But all those sperm! Every single one of them could have become a child. Now all those children, I've swallowed them. They are in my stomach burning and squirming in my stomach acid, breaking down and destroying their DNA, destroying their gateway to a soul. My stomach eats away at them, as they flail in despair and loss.
[sp]What did I even just write.[/sp][/QUOTE]
Rhenae the devourer of souls.
[QUOTE=Penultimate;39121909]How long should I wait after an awesome date before messaging him back?[/QUOTE]
My (now girlfriend) messaged me back like 45 minutes after our first date.
[QUOTE=Greendead;39122727]I just found out that my girlfriend swallows. Which is very rare I believe.[/QUOTE]
Mine just up and asked me if I'd prefer she spat or swallowed. I "Mmm"'d and "uhh"' before she said she thinks it's "Rude to spit". Yay
[QUOTE=cyclocius;39125240]Mine just up and asked me if I'd prefer she spat or swallowed. I "Mmm"'d and "uhh"' before she said she thinks it's "Rude to spit". Yay[/QUOTE]
You should be able to tell her your preferences you know. Its a preference, doesn't mean she has to do it.
But you should be able to be honest and not worry about telling her what you think.
I just fucked a girl on my birthday last night that goes to the most expensive school in the fucking world in switzerland
[editline]7th January 2013[/editline]
and now she's gone till april
[editline]7th January 2013[/editline]
I'm tripping
snip
I was gonna give Rhenae a title of "The Devourer of Souls" but then I looked and realised I'm broke again :V
[editline]7th January 2013[/editline]
And my ex swallowed, which is kinda funny since I often [i]wanted[/i] to make a mess more, but she wasn't keen. That's not to say I didn't appreciate it, damn she knew how to do good. And dem kisses afterwards. They were kinda messy.
[QUOTE=Regorc's Chest;39128653]I was gonna give Rhenae a title of "The Devourer of Souls" but then I looked and realised I'm broke again :V
[/QUOTE]
It is done.
hahahahaha awesome
I've had this friend for about a year, always though she was gorgeous, she's been dating this junkie for about 11 months now. He's being the typical junkie idiot boyfriend; doing drugs behind her back ect and i've always been there for her. These last few month though i've been getting butterflies when i'm with her, developed a pretty big crush. Lately we've been flirting a bit on facebook (just some light stuff, cute shit. me buying her stuff ect.) me and one of my friends are pretty sure she's got a thing for me. Everyone gives it about a month before her relo with the junkie crumbles, and i've been thinking. Should i go for it or not? Pretty sure i haven't been friendzoned and that theres something there. I've amassed a nice dump of proof about him constantly doing drugs behind her back and all that, Opinions fp?
don't go for it, first let her take some time out for herself to fully move on from her junkie boyfriend
I'm not suggesting that i go for her straight away, i'm talking about a month or two down the track, maybe less depending on how the breakup is.
[QUOTE=Regorc's Chest;39128653]I was gonna give Rhenae a title of "The Devourer of Souls" but then I looked and realised I'm broke again :V
[editline]7th January 2013[/editline]
And my ex swallowed, which is kinda funny since I often [i]wanted[/i] to make a mess more, but she wasn't keen. That's not to say I didn't appreciate it, damn she knew how to do good. And dem kisses afterwards. They were kinda messy.[/QUOTE]
I've only recently gotten over kissing my girlfriend after a blowjob, but I don't think I could do it if I finished in her mouth.
That actually makes me a bit squeamish you being so blase about it lol, surely it must taste bad?
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