[QUOTE=Quark:;44759336]I've always been a realist. I had a shitty childhood and a shitty growing up experience, so I learned not to have the, [B][I]"Maybe something good will happen!"[/I][/B] mindset that ruins people's days when nothing good happens.
If you expect the worst, and the worst happens, you are neither disappointed nor impressed. If something good [I]does[/I] happen (it usually doesn't) then it's like a party in your emotions.[/QUOTE]
that reminds me of Louis CK's bit on optimism
[video=youtube;jN_F0Gqe0_o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN_F0Gqe0_o[/video]
Depending on how I feel I change my ways to view things. When I am optimistic I am all sorts of dreamy and feeling generally peaceful and happy. When I am realistic I am pretty much distant to alot of things and I dislike situations a lot, it might be more useful for the future to be realistic but it certainly isn't as fun...
Also acting optimistic can change the view people have on you since you act different, you might even find someone to love that way while realism might have blocked off that opportunity.
Realism and optimism are not contradictory. It's very possible to focus on the best realistic outcomes possible. Getting rid of the realistic part will lead only to disappointment. Hoping for the impossible is never a good thing.
There's nothing wrong with optimism, as long as you have the ability to see the massive chasm between the world you want to see, and how the world is right now.
"Realism" doesn't really exist because your opinions will always be biased. The word "pessimism" is more appropriate for what you mean.
It's more beneficial to have a positive outlook. You gain nothing by depriving yourself of hope and happiness.
I try to think about things realisticly so my decisions don't end up backfireing on me or surprising me. I take full responsibility for whatever happens. At the same time I know if the going gets tough and I'm put up against the wall, the best of me will come out, so I trust my own power. I've already seen that side of myself. Yet, for me, there is no hope, because ultimately I know that no matter what happens, my life is ultimately temporary. The worst is already done and im doomed to die no matter what. So I know that as long as im alive, I have a chance. What ends up happening is that I feel that nothing matters except the touch of death, everything else is trivial.
Tldr;
If there is something I want to do but i have doubts whether or not I can achieve it I tell myself:
You have a chance,
Remember your strength,
Let go of the possible outcomes, yet be aware of them,
And go for it.
Im an Optimist, as how I believe fortitude and strength will see you through any situation
[QUOTE=Everest;44754670]I'm a realist, because facts shouldn't offend people.[/QUOTE]
I agree with most of the people here that there needs to be a balance between to the two but more and more I see self proclaimed realists taking their "realist" views completely off the deep end. They literally think that they need to correct everyone, they literally think that everyone around them are idiots and cant see/understand the problems for themselves.
Focusing on the problems, not trusting your peers to understand the risks and get the job done, and always focusing on communicating to people their flaws; even if your intent is to help them is not the most efficient way for change. Studies even show that failure is far more effective learning tool than actually knowing the problems.
So I believe you should live your life with a dose of realism so you are not completely ignorant of the risks but don't avoid risks; use that knowledge to make calculated risks and ALWAYS aim high. Trust in your peers that they can get the job done, Trust in yourself that if you encounter problem or even fail, that you can overcome, and always put in a positive attitude about something even if that something is hard to achieve. I think optimism needs to outweigh the pessimism. Pessimism can be useful so know enough to make it useful but optimism is the only thing that has us moving forward as a species; the will to discover, grow, and work as a team all stem from optimistic attitudes and an optimistic workplace.
[QUOTE=Juniez;44752745]that sounds like realism to me tbh[/QUOTE]
Its not.
Realists get familiar with how things are and how things were so that they can better avoid and prepare for failure down the road. Realists tend to take the safe rout which also means they don't stick their neck out as often and take risks. This can ensure a better success rate but rarely in anything groundbreaking or game changing.
Optimists find excitement and discovery in shooting high, braving the risks, and embracing failure. Smart optimists will take calculated risks, this includes everything from trusting a team of employees with a job, to pursuing a start-up company. Optimists can easily let their vision cloud their planning and can cause them to make devastating mistakes, but with self control and carefully calculated risks, optimists can create groundbreaking results and often learn a lot more in the process.
There was an interesting study I read that was done by the University of Phoenix that said that more percentage of people who are realists avoid leadership positions but make great project managers and workers. Optimists tend to be very social people and their optimistic attitudes make them very good inspirational leaders and directors.
[QUOTE=SilverBullet;44820127]I try to think about things realisticly so my decisions don't end up backfireing on me or surprising me. I take full responsibility for whatever happens. At the same time I know if the going gets tough and I'm put up against the wall, the best of me will come out, so I trust my own power. I've already seen that side of myself. Yet, for me, there is no hope, because ultimately I know that no matter what happens, my life is ultimately temporary. The worst is already done and im doomed to die no matter what. So I know that as long as im alive, I have a chance. What ends up happening is that I feel that nothing matters except the touch of death, everything else is trivial.
Tldr;
If there is something I want to do but i have doubts whether or not I can achieve it I tell myself:
You have a chance,
Remember your strength,
Let go of the possible outcomes, yet be aware of them,
And go for it.[/QUOTE]
You are actually more towards the optimistic spectrum I think. Remember, optimism doesn't mean running in blind. (a way I like to think of optimism is like in a battle, instead of wearing armor you go in painted blue and naked like the Celts did. You are more vulnerable to landing hits but you are much faster, un-hindered and also scary as shit. :P)
I'm an optimist/realist. I'm realistic about things, but always have a general positive view of the world.
I know that because I have such a short and tiny life and after it my consciousness is gone forever that I should always pick the most positive outlook whenever possible.
I don't understand why an atheist would try to find the most negative things in the world and dwell on them. Leave that to people who believe that they have eternal life.
If you think your life is finite, try and get the very most of it.
[QUOTE=Funktastic Dog;44824276]I'm an optimist/realist. I'm realistic about things, but always have a general positive view of the world.
I know that because I have such a short and tiny life and after it my consciousness is gone forever that I should always pick the most positive outlook whenever possible.
I don't understand why an atheist would try to find the most negative things in the world and dwell on them. Leave that to people who believe that they have eternal life.
If you think your life is finite, try and get the very most of it.[/QUOTE]
I couldn't agree more, I find a lot of fellow atheists who are just unhappy, spiteful, rude people who uphold their realist ideals. It just makes other atheists look bad; just like the insane religious groups make the good religious people look bad. I think the attitude should be completely opposite if you are an Atheist.
If you find your "realism" is just a fancy word for "pessimism", you are doing it wrong. :P
I'm a realist. If thing's go like I thought they would, I won't be disappointed. If everything goes superb, I'll be very happily surprised. A win-win situation. Optimism has brought me nothing but disappointments after disappointments.
[QUOTE=SgtTupelo;44824566]I'm a realist. If thing's go like I thought they would, I won't be disappointed. If everything goes superb, I'll be very happily surprised. A win-win situation. Optimism has brought me nothing but disappointments after disappointments.[/QUOTE]
Failure is a blessing in disguise. It only hurts you when you let it, It strengthens you when you don't.
Don't shy away from Risk, dream big, think big, shoot big, and embrace the lessons that come to you; learn from failure then always get back on your feet, and never stop flying.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;44835927]That takes certain personalities to pull off. Not everyone can do that.[/QUOTE]
Then become that personality. Change everything to make yourself the happiest you could be.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;44835927]That takes certain personalities to pull off. Not everyone can do that.[/QUOTE]
You need to get used to failure and stop being afraid of failing before you can really succeed at something. It has nothing to do with personality, just having the self discipline to keep pushing yourself to doing something you're uncomfortable with.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;44835927]That takes certain personalities to pull off. Not everyone can do that.[/QUOTE]
No, everyone can do that. Personality traits are not finite; you are not born into a specific personality that you are stuck with for life, you develop your personality through other people, interests, and lessons you learn from failing or success. You then can change flaws in your personality through determination.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44839203]You need to get used to failure and stop being afraid of failing before you can really succeed at something. It has nothing to do with personality, just having the self discipline to keep pushing yourself to doing something you're uncomfortable with.[/QUOTE]
You are exactly right. It's all a matter of perspective and self discipline. It has nothing to do with personality, anyone can change their perspective. :) I never said it was easy, but perhaps that's why according to that study I talked about earlier, most great leaders are 'optimists', it shows that they have determination and a thick skin. They have probably failed so much that nothing phases them and that makes them unstoppable.
Being an optimist is much less stressful imo; limiting yourself and chaining yourself down to reality by being a realist is stressful because you are in constant fear.
Optimism is by far the better, the more you focus on the good, the best possible outcome, and the acquisition of success that is all that you'll see.
full metal alchemist
[QUOTE=Crossu88;44863279]Optimism is by far the better, the more you focus on the good, the best possible outcome, and the acquisition of success that is all that you'll see.[/QUOTE]
And the less likely you are going to be devastated by potential failure you may face in your life.
The right balance of those is the key. You'll get nuts being only on one side,being an extreme realist get you confused for a douche or extreme optimist makes you look like a patsy...
[QUOTE=godfatherk;44873141]The right balance of those is the key. You'll get nuts being only on one side,being an extreme realist get you confused for a douche or extreme optimist makes you look like a patsy...[/QUOTE]
Id rather be a patsy than a douchebag tbh.
I mı̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨ade you wipe your screen.•
[QUOTE=TrueNord;44858999]No, everyone can do that. Personality traits are not finite; you are not born into a specific personality that you are stuck with for life, you develop your personality through other people, interests, and lessons you learn from failing or success. You then can change flaws in your personality through determination.[/QUOTE]
Having the opposite outlook personally drives me crazy. You're not "stuck this way" because you can't...but because you won't. /rant
If I have anything approaching a personal motto its that optimism is the root of disappointment.
I've had way too many occassions where I've done something, then presumed to have done it well, and have then found out it has been done shit.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;44752842]why not both? (someone had to say it)
expect the worst, hope for the best[/QUOTE]
For me it's rather prepare for the worst, work for the best.
It does work.
Always optimism.
I always work as hard as I can for the best outcome possible, without caution
Sure, it makes problems worse than they could've been, but it also makes the good parts way better than they would've been otherwise
Only losers prepare for failure
[QUOTE=Eric95;44916213]Always optimism.
I always work as hard as I can for the best outcome possible, without caution
Sure, it makes problems worse than they could've been, but it also makes the good parts way better than they would've been otherwise
Only losers prepare for failure[/QUOTE]
I've found that optimism also better prepares you for when you do fail and enables you to get back on your feet quicker because you are able to look at the positives and the future. If you are always afraid of failure and become obsessed with preventing it as much as possible, when you do fail, you become devastated and its very hard to recover.
Also there was another study I was reading from this website, Realage.com (A health website I learned about from my weight training course last summer) that was saying that people who adopt an optimistic; always looking forward and not letting failure bother them but rather considering failure as a necessary component of growth; tend to have higher life expediencies and less stressful lives.
People who focus on the problems and devote their lives to being cautious and trying to prevent failure tend to have have more stress in their lives and lower life expediencies.
A healthy combination of both, in my opinion.
Be a realist, become enlightened into optimism.
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