I'm so glad I have loving parents. They support me in whatever me and my siblings want to do, even if it goes against what they see as good. They're into investing and running companies, while I'm into the arts, and they're not just okay with it, they support it no matter what. They're willing to push me far so I can stand on my own, and will do things like buy software and hardware that I need to progress.
My sister made the decision to become a man, and while it was hard for my parents to stomach, they supported her financially and emotionally through it because they love her. Did I mention they're devout Christians?
This is what I believe every parent should do with their kids. Treat them well, care for them, have the trust that they'll make the right decision, and above all, love them no matter what. Though I know this is hard to do if your kids aren't set up on the right path. I got lucky cause I was surrounded in a good environment outside of the house. I guess I'm on the other side of the spectrum, and this is an example of a parent who doesn't trust their kid enough to where he'll have a stable job. And I don't know much about this dude, maybe he does a bunch of things that make him untrustworthy, or his mom is just pessimistic about his future.
At the end of the day, both approaches are about love. Just a different interpretation of that. She doesn't see what he sees, and that's the divide that broke them apart. And that just fucking sucks.
People defending her rant obviously don't understand what this kind negative talk actually does to the mind of your offspring.
Criticizing is good, insulting, berating and questioning your [B]own fucking child's existance is not.[/B] That's what leads to suicidal tendencies and really bad depression.
Its no the parents who don't care, or care a lot. Its the parents who insult and berate their offspring like they're always going to be 8. Its dehumanizing, its destroys your perception and it in no way fucking helps those who are not leaving the home. People saying, "Well if he's over 18" so fucking what? Ranting and creating an inhospitable environment that questions your [B]VERY[/B] existance and self worth in the world is more likely going to fuck you up or make turn to harder drugs, not pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on in life.
[editline]25th August 2014[/editline]
Also from the update video, all the shit he shows he paid for himself which meant he was working. And doing the band stuff on the side. Which means this woman is an utter fucking cunt.
[QUOTE=Swilly;45797369]People defending her rant obviously don't understand what this kind negative talk actually does to the mind of your offspring.
Criticizing is good, insulting, berating and questioning your [B]own fucking child's existance is not.[/B] That's what leads to suicidal tendencies and really bad depression.
Its no the parents who don't care, or care a lot. Its the parents who insult and berate their offspring like they're always going to be 8. Its dehumanizing, its destroys your perception and it in no way fucking helps those who are not leaving the home. People saying, "Well if he's over 18" so fucking what? Ranting and creating an inhospitable environment that questions your [B]VERY[/B] existance and self worth in the world is more likely going to fuck you up or make turn to harder drugs, not pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on in life.[/QUOTE]
I am not standing up for the woman, all I want is the guy to speak up and show people he's for real.
Why can't he get angry?
I'm probably being heartless but if I had a passion and someone told me I was wasting my life, even if it was family, I'd tell it to their face what I thought about their opinion and made sure they understood what I was about.
The mother here is not totally unreasonable... maybe she wants him to get a job or have other things to do. It's not like she's abusive and throwing profanity all over the place.
I didn't once hear her swear so there's something.
The second update video shows what happens when he diobey'd his mother.
She took his computer and a bunch of other things.
here's his music:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yz9Ksytgms[/media]
all I keep thinking is this:
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/49HEG28.png[/IMG]
[editline]25th August 2014[/editline]
maybe if he did a country & western song for his mum, they'd get along once and for all.
I feel bad for the guy. Being a musician that sits in his room all day, I can say that it's definitely (at times) not totally easy. Especially if he's trying to make something of it.
I'm extremely lucky to have a mother who's extremely proud of where I have gone so far and supports me fully in my endeavors.
I thought this thread was gonna be like the others
page 1: "OMG such a bitch mum"
few pages later
"The mum is such a good lady for getting his son to do the right thing and get a job"
But, I don't know this time, maybe throughout the whole thread majority will agree with OP.
I agree with OP anyway.
[QUOTE=AK'z;45796633]again, you don't know the family history at all.
This fellow looks old enough to speak english in a just manner. She doesn't seem totally insane either, and saying it's crazy for a parent to take away his equipment for going against her wishes is ridiculous. Any parent would do this.
The only way a family can function properly is with some communication.
I don't give a shit what she'd have done if he explained himself, but at least it'd show he's got some kind of worthy attitude with his own parents instead of staring blankly and confused.
[editline]25th August 2014[/editline]
he has a computer, and an entire array of guitars and amps setup for him in his own room.
this is at least a grand's worth of equipment, that I highly doubt he bought all from his own back. You tell me how any of his situations couldn't have been prevented had he loved his mum a little more and ignored her bullshit about how the right way to live is.
Families always have problems and you can't afford to let it get worse because you can't tell the world your music is why you wake up in the morning.[/QUOTE]
So you're saying he should speak out against his mother, knowing that it might end up with him losing all the equipment for his hobby? It just sounds like you're telling him to shoot himself in the foot, in the name of proper communication.
Threatening your kid with "don't fuck with me, or your hobby is going away" doesn't foster communication, it stifles it.
If anything the following events prove just how crazy she is. He went to a gig and performed live. That's a world away from sitting in his room pointing out the knobs on amplifiers. And his reward for that was getting his stuff taken away.
[QUOTE=AnonTakesOver;45798407]I thought this thread was gonna be like the others
page 1: "OMG such a bitch mum"
few pages later
"The mum is such a good lady for getting his son to do the right thing and get a job"
But, I don't know this time, maybe throughout the whole thread majority will agree with OP.
I agree with OP anyway.[/QUOTE]
I don't question that it's important in terms of self-development to get out of the house and do new things and all that. The problem is that barging into his room and going "hey son, by the way you're leading a worthless life!" is the worst possible way to encourage it.
[QUOTE=MegaJohnny;45798690]So you're saying he should speak out against his mother, knowing that it might end up with him losing all the equipment for his hobby? It just sounds like you're telling him to shoot himself in the foot, in the name of proper communication.
Threatening your kid with "don't fuck with me, or your hobby is going away" doesn't foster communication, it stifles it.
If anything the following events prove just how crazy she is. He went to a gig and performed live. That's a world away from sitting in his room pointing out the knobs on amplifiers. And his reward for that was getting his stuff taken away.[/QUOTE]
You have no clue what the history of the relationship is at all. If you were a parent and you specifically asked your son to do an important task and they just went raving, how would you feel?
And yes, I'd rather shoot myself in the foot in order to re-conciliate problems for the coming future than sit depressed for years and not relate to how my mother is feeling.
it's very clear they're different people hence her saying "how would like it if I blasted country music in your room constantly" but this issue can easily be solved with an ounce of actual conversation.
If my mother asked me "What the heck do you do for people in the world" and I was a musician, I'd be the one talking about how the arts are what makes humanity unique and special, providing joy that isn't involved in the conversation of life but still challenges how we live and enjoy life.
It'd be the very thing I'd be sure to make people in the family understand, that this is the life I chose and I am going to live by it.
By keeping it all in a closed box, he'll never talk to his mother even after he moved out and it'd all be because he wasn't confident to show her who he was.
Who's to say he wasn't looking for a job and trying to apply himself? My parents were (well, are, but not tangibly so) exactly like the mom in this video. They weren't screaming or abusive but they [I][B]constantly [/B][/I] were derisive of my hobby regardless of whatever I was doing off of the computer. If I got up at 5:30 in the morning then worked two jobs back to back only to get home at 9:30 and feel like playing an hour or two of vidya they would ask me why I was "wasting my life on that machine" and how it "wasn't going to get me anywhere in life". Yeah, it's not. That's what my two jobs are for.
It's incredibly frustrating to be in that situation because nothing you can do can get your parents or guardians to understand that it's just how you unwind. Yeah, I'm sure some kids do still go out and throw the pigskin around with their buddies or play sandlot baseball. But playing video games or just browsing the internet isn't a new thing, or a niche thing, or a symptom of some kind of anti-social disorder. I know this stuff kinda worked itself out and the video is really old but maybe if parents like this want to see their kids being more receptive, start by not tearing down their self-esteem and constantly making their primary (sometimes only) escape such a dramatic fulcrum of argument.
[QUOTE=Mattk50;45792286]such ignorance.
she probably works in advertising[/QUOTE]
Why do you say advertising in particular?
How is this woman a cunt?
She is worried about her sons life not going anywhere.
She doesn't feel the passion her son feels personally, and she just sees him stroking a guitar for 5 years without anything changing.
In the meanwhile she has her brothers and sisters children getting their first job, starting a company and generally thriving.
I can fully relate to this woman, especially since my parents rightfully snapped me out of my illusion of easy money by a firm intervention, which promptly motivated me to become something.
This woman is a concerned parent, not a cunt I tell you guys.
[QUOTE=KingKombat;45795182]What the fuck is wrong with parents
My mom is kinda close to this type of shit even though she's a little cooler. Regardless, she has some serious attitude problems and gets defensive very easily when she's wrong. She likes to turn around situations on me whenever she [I]feels[/I] like she's being attacked. She assumes people are trying to tell her things when they aren't and whatnot, she will get triggered the moment you say something the least bit incriminating. She will say anything possible to "win" and argument. Most of these arguments are the ones she starts.[/QUOTE]
Your mom is like that, while my mom "is never wrong".
"Ever".
So, if he paid for all of that shit himself... How exactly is he not doing anything? Did he steal the money?
Or are you guys just being contrary rather than looking at the facts, because it's quite clear that if he bought this stuff, he either makes enough from his band or has his own job (most likely the latter since music doesn't pay much at all). Yes, you might be concerned, but then saying "YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WORTHWHILE WITH YOUR EXISTENCE" when this kid is clearly passionate [I]and actually trying to make something out of it[/I] is total bullshit.
[QUOTE=Swilly;45797458]The second update video shows what happens when he diobey'd his mother.
She took his computer and a bunch of other things.[/QUOTE]
How did she take his shit? Lock him out of the house?
You know, when you're a grown up guy, you don't have to take that shit.
My mom once went on another Hulk spree (she gets mad for no reason whatsoever, and wants everything her way when she asks)
I was playing dota and usually, those games last for a while, from 20mins to a full hour, and I was right in the middle of one.
She walks into the room, telling me to tidy my room up. I told her I'd do it after the game.
She started getting mad, and rambling, demanding that I'd do it right now. I kept saying I'd do it after the game. Then she starts threatning me that she'd pull the plug off the wall (unlucky me, its right next to the door, and not behind the desk), so I just countered her with another threat. "If you pull it off, then I just wont do anything at all.", and kept on playing.
She pulls it off the socket, demands that I clean my room right then, pc goes off, and I just get up, tell her I won't do anything because of her, and leave the room.
Kept on bitching and talking loud as hell, and as soon as I lift my voice up a bit talking back at her, I'm being rude to her. Because apparently that applies to me but not to her. I just go sitting in the living room, looking through the window, and a while later, she goes up to me, all soft and shit saying she was sorry.
Also, there was a few times when she slapped me in the face for talking back, and I just went "Well c'mon, slap me again, slap me as much as you want, I don't give a shit".
It helps when you don't give a shit. I've reached a point where taking certain things away from me wouldn't do that much of a difference, and slapping me means nothing, so punishing me is hopeless. But then again, my parents were never really iron fisted. They just handed out those "1 week without bla bla" kinds of punishments or silent treatments that actually never worked since I can go a whole lot of time without talking to anyone, and never did like heavy beating or messed up shit.
I REALLY can't stand this mentality, that because your idea of free time isn't going out to the creek and skipping rocks, that you're some kind of aberrant shutin.
Look, I tire of the current crop of 13-year-olds at times, but I don't blame THEM for the issues plaguing a given generation. How is it fair for the 40+ crowd to shake their heads and criticize kids for not doing the boring shit they did for fun, when they were never presented the choice between those things and modern forms of entertainment? It's really easy to take this high ground of what you had to go through and LIKE IT as a kid when you were never presented the choices available now. What makes YOU so sure you wouldn't have acted JUST like them?
It's a generational thing, I'm p sure all moms do this to some extent, I know my mom hated when I would come home and play CoD 4 all day after school. Our grandparents made our parents go out and play outside because that's all there was to do. Likewise, our parents feel like its a waste to stay indoors all day because they learned how to parent from their parents. Its not their fault they think like that.
[QUOTE=urbanmonkey;45802051]It's a generational thing, I'm p sure all moms do this to some extent, I know my mom hated when I would come home and play CoD 4 all day after school. Our grandparents made our parents go out and play outside because that's all there was to do. Likewise, our parents feel like its a waste to stay indoors all day because they learned how to parent from their parents. Its not their fault they think like that.[/QUOTE]
I pity people who have spent decades alive, but have not in that time had the opportunity and/or desire to develop their critical-thinking skills, and learn that their beliefs are misguided, irrational, and wrong.
It's not like everyone on Facepunch (kids that sit in their rooms and disappoint their parents all day) is biased towards one side of this argument or anything.
There are better ways to motivate your kid to do something than to call them 'worthless' and to call their friends 'stupid'
[QUOTE=Pr0fane;45799791]How is this woman a cunt?
She is worried about her sons life not going anywhere.
She doesn't feel the passion her son feels personally, and she just sees him stroking a guitar for 5 years without anything changing.
In the meanwhile she has her brothers and sisters children getting their first job, starting a company and generally thriving.
I can fully relate to this woman, especially since my parents rightfully snapped me out of my illusion of easy money by a firm intervention, which promptly motivated me to become something.
This woman is a concerned parent, not a cunt I tell you guys.[/QUOTE]
because she's completely shitting on something he has passion about, a perfectly legitimate hobby (music) which actually can get you tons of money and naturally is a very creative and productive skill, by insulting him and shitting on his self esteem.
taking everything away from him probably isn't going to make her statement 'valid'
[QUOTE=Mysterious;45802488]There are better ways to motivate your kid to do something than to call them 'worthless' and to call their friends 'stupid'[/QUOTE]
The thing is, some parents were raised in really physical abusive households, where theyd get spanked brutally for every minor thing, and so they thing that verbal abuse is a step down, and thus "okay", hell, more than okay, that it's the right thing to do.
It isn't. Negative reinforcement doesn't work for shit, it just makes them hate you, and they get immunity to it. It also has the added bonus of crippling their self esteem.
Source: Personal experience.
if you're a parent and think negative reinforcement and beatings work you're a fucking fool and don't deserve to run so much as even a retail management position
beating your kid is as irresponsible as being a crack addicted mother and solves nothing at all
It's not as easy standing up to your parents as some of you seem to think. If i ever stood up to my parents, i was punished harshly. I remember one time, they literally put all of my things, clothes, toys, everything into trashbags and out on the corner to be tossed because i hadn't cleaned my room fast enough. Nine times out of ten, standing up to your parents makes everything far worse so it's best to just ignore them or go along with it and focus on something that makes you happy, like your music.
[QUOTE=AK'z;45798950]You have no clue what the history of the relationship is at all. If you were a parent and you specifically asked your son to do an important task and they just went raving, how would you feel?
And yes, I'd rather shoot myself in the foot in order to re-conciliate problems for the coming future than sit depressed for years and not relate to how my mother is feeling.
it's very clear they're different people hence her saying "how would like it if I blasted country music in your room constantly" but this issue can easily be solved with an ounce of actual conversation.
If my mother asked me "What the heck do you do for people in the world" and I was a musician, I'd be the one talking about how the arts are what makes humanity unique and special, providing joy that isn't involved in the conversation of life but still challenges how we live and enjoy life.
It'd be the very thing I'd be sure to make people in the family understand, that this is the life I chose and I am going to live by it. [/QUOTE]
You keep claiming we don't know anything about their history, but if you'd bothered to watch the videos on his channel you'd get a good idea of what this man is like. He has a source of income, he's paid for his instruments and equipment with his own cash, he clearly has friends and fans, and he's in at least one band that performs at paid shows. On top of that, he's sharing the things he knows by making videos. Many of them are demonstrative or instructional, helping viewers establish opinions about expensive equipment or learning to play difficult songs. So even if he's had a rocky past with his mother, it's astonishing that she still can't praise him for [I]any[/I] of that... no praise for making money, for having talent, for spreading knowledge, not even for having fans. Fuck that bitch.
[QUOTE=AK'z;45798950]By keeping it all in a closed box, he'll never talk to his mother even after he moved out and it'd all be because he wasn't confident to show her who he was.[/QUOTE]
Maybe she isn't worth talking to.
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;45793519]Not sure if you guys care, but someone used the mom's audio in a song
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fawnVks1P4[/media]
(Just the first 17 seconds of the song is her, rest is rapping)[/QUOTE]
Oh man, I love Logic. You guys should really listen to his other tracks.
[QUOTE=DeVotchKa;45802543]Nine times out of ten, standing up to your parents makes everything far worse so it's best to just ignore them or go along with it and focus on something that makes you happy, like your music.[/QUOTE]
This. I always learned to just put my head down and bite my tongue whenever I was being berated over something stupid. Talking back or trying to explain yourself doesn't work with parents like that, no matter how reasonable you think you're being.
[QUOTE=Furioso;45802568]This. I always learned to just put my head down and bite my tongue whenever I was being berated over something stupid. Talking back or trying to explain yourself doesn't work with parents like that, no matter how reasonable you think you're being.[/QUOTE]
He probably doesn't know what it's like to have to brush his teeth several times and then have his dad slam his head into the bathroom counter because he didn't clean them well enough and just wanted to go to bed.
[QUOTE=DeVotchKa;45802585]He probably doesn't know what it's like to have to brush his teeth several times and then have his dad slam his head into the bathroom counter because he didn't clean them well enough and just wanted to go to bed.[/QUOTE]
What the fuck
I am so glad my father always kept supporting me and even bought me gear because he saw that I make gold out of every creative thing I touched. I still remember the day when we were asked in school what our "dreamjob" is and that's when I said "musician" everyone laughed at me, I felt horribly and kept saying "this is my dreamjob" they all said I shouldn't continue with that I can't make any money with that and that it was unreal. This is what makes me come to watery eyes, almost tears right now because if I would have stopped then I could not share this moment with anyone, not my family not anyone:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=my6l6grkay8[/media]
never fucking stop doing what you love no matter what others tell you. Goddamn onions in this room, tears falling on my pizza.
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