[QUOTE=NixNax123;46900112]use a wall
works everytime[/QUOTE]
from experience?
[QUOTE=green bandit;46900799]from experience?[/QUOTE]
The trick is to flip your feet onto a wall behind you while you're laying down, then proceed to walk down the wall gradually until it's in front of your face.
It's honestly not too difficult, as long as you're not overweight/tall as fuck and you're at least average size you have a fair chance at doing it.
Autofellatio doesn't feel as good as receiving an actual BJ from someone but it's still well worth it.
Blowing yourself always sounds like a good idea, until you're sitting in your dark bedroom, crying with a mouthful of your own cum. That guilt is eternal. Your ancestors watch you, weeping.
This PSA brought to you by the National Association Against Sucking Your Own Dick Holy Shit What Are You Doing Get a Boy/Girl-friend Or Pay an Escort or Buy a Fleshlight Literally Anything Else, Fucking Christ Almighty Stop It You Aren't a Chimpanzee.
[QUOTE=Srillo;46901310]Blowing yourself always sounds like a good idea, until you're sitting in your dark bedroom, crying with a mouthful of your own cum. That guilt is eternal. Your ancestors watch you, weeping.
This PSA brought to you by the National Association Against Sucking Your Own Dick Holy Shit What Are You Doing Get a Boy/Girl-friend Or Pay an Escort or Buy a Fleshlight Literally Anything Else, Fucking Christ Almighty Stop It You Aren't a Chimpanzee.[/QUOTE]
wow, you mean you don't like swallowing your own cum? haha, what are you, gay?
[QUOTE=ironman17;46899159]What I wouldn't give for two fewer ribs... The belly part I could get outta the way no problem, but knowing my luck I'd be barely a centimetre away.[/QUOTE]
How about two of your ribs?
[QUOTE=Cone;46900381]how many times have you done it if consistency was actually a problem
[editline]10th January[/editline]
look m*therfucker lets get one thing straight, when i'm furiously struggling to circumvent the numerous semen-swamped trenches of my gut and successfully suck my own dick in a crude mockery of the circle of life, what i really don't need is an autofellatio technique that I CAN'T FUCKING TRUST! newsflash, [I]I'M[/I] the one who's gonna be putting their a*s on the line out there, on the field, on the wire, down in the belly of the beast with nothin' but a crusty dick and the willpower to suck it/. do you fucking [I][B]get[/B] that[/I]!? bitch[/QUOTE]
this is like a dril tweet
In Australia, we call blowjobs gobbies.
[QUOTE=Srillo;46901310]Blowing yourself always sounds like a good idea, until you're sitting in your dark bedroom, crying with a mouthful of your own cum. That guilt is eternal. Your ancestors watch you, weeping.
This PSA brought to you by the [B]National Association Against Sucking Your Own Dick Holy Shit What Are You Doing Get a Boy/Girl-friend Or Pay an Escort or Buy a Fleshlight Literally Anything Else, Fucking Christ Almighty Stop It You Aren't a Chimpanzee.[/B][/QUOTE]
Interesting fact, "NAASYODHSWAYDGAVBGFOPAEOBAFLAEFCASIYAAC" is the noise someone makes when they try to cry with a mouthful of cum
[QUOTE=Waffler;46908320]In Australia, we call blowjobs gobbies.[/QUOTE]
Do we? I've never heard that.
[QUOTE=Lexinator;46908891]Do we? I've never heard that.[/QUOTE]
Depends on the area. I've heard it called gobbies before as well but usually on the cheap side of town.
[QUOTE=redBadger;46897930]Never had a bj...
I'm 20 :([/QUOTE]
My ex bit into one of my balls before.
[QUOTE=Karahaut;46903963]this is like a dril tweet[/QUOTE]
join me this weekend where i will be making a director's commentary on my numerous sources of inspiration behind the world-famous "Semen-Swamped Trenches" post on facepunch studios forums
[QUOTE=MuTAnT;46910103]Depends on the area. I've heard it called gobbies before as well but usually on the cheap side of town.[/QUOTE]
Ah well in Perth the areas I'm in I haven't heard that.
[QUOTE=Lexinator;46910611]Ah well in Perth the areas I'm in I haven't heard that.[/QUOTE]
I'm from a country town in NSW & everyone around here just calls them gobbies :v:
[QUOTE=Cone;46900381]how many times have you done it if consistency was actually a problem
[editline]10th January[/editline]
look m*therfucker lets get one thing straight, when i'm furiously struggling to circumvent the numerous semen-swamped trenches of my gut and successfully suck my own dick in a crude mockery of the circle of life, what i really don't need is an autofellatio technique that I CAN'T FUCKING TRUST! newsflash, [I]I'M[/I] the one who's gonna be putting their a*s on the line out there, on the field, on the wire, down in the belly of the beast with nothin' but a crusty dick and the willpower to suck it/. do you fucking [I][B]get[/B] that[/I]!? bitch[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry for responding so late in your desperate time of need, but this method works 100% of the time.
Lip to tip contact is guaranteed.
For those saying they dislike blowjobs or they're overrated, you're getting bad head. End of story.
Trust me, I've gotten good and bad. Bad was bad. Good was GREAT
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.