Hey guys! After playing through The Last of Us over the summer, I decided to make a short film about it. I'm really proud of it and thought you guys might enjoy it too. Like always, feedback and critique would be greatly appreciated!
[video=youtube;jq-SGCJCs8k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq-SGCJCs8k[/video]
oh god the acting :v:
Are...are you trying to be serious?
[QUOTE=Water-Marine;46128811]Are...are you trying to be serious?[/QUOTE]
I was. I normally go for a comedic vibe with my shorts, and I was trying for a more dramatic vibe this time. I guess I still need to work on my drama chops. Thanks for the feedback!
Did you only have budget to make one clicker?
[QUOTE=Cam4Yeah;46128897]I was. I normally go for a comedic vibe with my shorts, and I was trying for a more dramatic vibe this time. I guess I still need to work on my drama chops. Thanks for the feedback![/QUOTE]
Sorry, not trying to be an ass. But this is unintentionally hilarious in its awfulness.
Some things to note:
The infamous "weapon rustle". The character holding a machete already has it out in his introduction scene. Why should it make an unsheathing noise when he lifts it up 45~ degrees?
The very same guy walks by a zombie like its invisible, just to carry on the "girl gets bit" scene.
Unless you're really fucking with us and it's actually a comedy, you got a lot of work to do.
Okay, I'll do some rather serious critique here I guess
Some of the camerawork was a bit awkward. Nothing major at all that takes away but some of the shots could have been better. The one where it focuses on the knife when he whips it out was a bit abrupt and sudden and a bit silly. The sudden shakes to the camera when the girl hits the infected with her weapon were a bit unnatural and looked too "fixed" in a sense, but I see what you were going for there.
The camerawork could just use some polishing here and there. IMO that one continuous shot when they're walking downwards after encountering the infected was a bit long, and there could've been a lot more motion in the scene to emphasize the action, rather than just following them as they went downhill and stabbed a zombie here and there, shaking the camera a bit to make it seem more intense. That one shot went on for a bit too long in my opinion, with little motion going on other than the camera shaking.
I think the lip syncing was off in like one or two of the first dialogue shots while walking along the forest, but I could just be imagining things.
I know it's been said before, but the acting could use some work. That one guy seemed a bit monotone and expressionless (no offense to the actors). The characters could also be a bit more interesting, they're pretty generic.
The script could also use some work. It didn't really have an engaging script, and some lines were a bit cliched, but that can't really be helped in such a short production. The action scenes were admittedly a bit awkward, though. There was a huge lack of motion for most of the combat parts, and it was really only in the end when he repeatedly stabbed the zombie that it was believable. Just some of the combat scenes were weird and questionable, like that girl being lightly grabbed then dropping her weapon and submitting to the zombie.
But really, it was still pretty good. This is just me being super harsh in the hopes that maybe you'll take it into consideration for your next production. I watched it to the end and I generally don't have that long an attention span to even finish videos. It was enjoyable, and I look forward to your future works.
Not bad at all. I do agree that the 'schwing' SFX whenever knives or machetes are moved needs to be toned down, and the acting during the action parts needs work. But otherwise, not at all a bad effort.
[QUOTE=jonoPorter;46129113]Did you only have budget to make one clicker?[/QUOTE]
I actually had no budget for this at all. A friend of mine who's a really talented costume/makeup artist made it for me for free.
[editline]2nd October 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Water-Marine;46129150]Sorry, not trying to be an ass. But this is unintentionally hilarious in its awfulness.
Some things to note:
The infamous "weapon rustle". The character holding a machete already has it out in his introduction scene. Why should it make an unsheathing noise when he lifts it up 45~ degrees?
The very same guy walks by a zombie like its invisible, just to carry on the "girl gets bit" scene.
Unless you're really fucking with us and it's actually a comedy, you got a lot of work to do.[/QUOTE]
No worries at all! Harsh words, but I honestly really appreciate you taking the time to give me criticism. I'm still learning and improving, and I'll do better next time.
[editline]2nd October 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=t h e;46129167]Okay, I'll do some rather serious critique here I guess
Some of the camerawork was a bit awkward. Nothing major at all that takes away but some of the shots could have been better. The one where it focuses on the knife when he whips it out was a bit abrupt and sudden and a bit silly. The sudden shakes to the camera when the girl hits the infected with her weapon were a bit unnatural and looked too "fixed" in a sense, but I see what you were going for there.
The camerawork could just use some polishing here and there. IMO that one continuous shot when they're walking downwards after encountering the infected was a bit long, and there could've been a lot more motion in the scene to emphasize the action, rather than just following them as they went downhill and stabbed a zombie here and there, shaking the camera a bit to make it seem more intense. That one shot went on for a bit too long in my opinion, with little motion going on other than the camera shaking.
I think the lip syncing was off in like one or two of the first dialogue shots while walking along the forest, but I could just be imagining things.
I know it's been said before, but the acting could use some work. That one guy seemed a bit monotone and expressionless (no offense to the actors). The characters could also be a bit more interesting, they're pretty generic.
The script could also use some work. It didn't really have an engaging script, and some lines were a bit cliched, but that can't really be helped in such a short production. The action scenes were admittedly a bit awkward, though. There was a huge lack of motion for most of the combat parts, and it was really only in the end when he repeatedly stabbed the zombie that it was believable. Just some of the combat scenes were weird and questionable, like that girl being lightly grabbed then dropping her weapon and submitting to the zombie.
But really, it was still pretty good. This is just me being super harsh in the hopes that maybe you'll take it into consideration for your next production. I watched it to the end and I generally don't have that long an attention span to even finish videos. It was enjoyable, and I look forward to your future works.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for taking the time to write this! I honestly agree with most of your points. I'll definitely try to do better with my next short. Glad you enjoyed it overall though!
[editline]2nd October 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=sonosublime;46129210]Not bad at all. I do agree that the 'schwing' SFX whenever knives or machetes are moved needs to be toned down, and the acting during the action parts needs work. But otherwise, not at all a bad effort.[/QUOTE]
Thanks! Appreciate the feedback!
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