[QUOTE=haloguy234;52458981]Sometimes I wonder if I'm broken now because my parents never talked to me about this stuff. I'm 23 and any time my parents or really anybody tries to talk to me about anything involving sex or intimate partnership I get really nervous and immediately try to get away from the conversation or steer it in an entirely different direction.
I guess I feel ashamed for never having tried to do anything myself to become sexually active, and that's why I'm embarrassed by it when it becomes a sudden topic of conversation. Like, in some way I've always felt that something was just wrong with me so my entire life I've never tried. Even to this day where all I have to do is go out to a bar and get shitfaced hammered, I still don't go through with it. I've had enough opportunities over the last couple of years to get it over with but something always kept me from doing it, guess just anxiety because it scares me? I don't know.
I wish I could turn back time and try to talk to my parents about this now, just to see if anything would be different. It doesn't really upset me, honestly I still have plenty of fun doing my own shit, but I know sooner or later I'm going to want some kind of serious companionship and I fear I won't be able to make it work.[/QUOTE]
This is so goddam true. I've spent a good part of the last three years of my life trying to carefully ease into sexuality as even a remotely normal and healthy concept. (I'm 22)
I grew up as an only child in a religious and conservative household where very little if any talk about sexuality happened. Neither of my parents ever showed physical affection in any way that was mutual.
By around 14, I learned that I was gay, which only complicated things 500% more. After finally working through some of my own personal hell of denial and self-hate, I came out at 19 to a whole new shitstorm of family issues.
My sexuality was seen as an abomination by my parents, and I was told time and time again that my only true option was to become celibate.
Thankfully, I'm moved out and in a much better place in my life now. But, the damage heals slowly.
Basically, I've been convinced my whole life that desire for sex isn't just normal, but wrong. It's taken such a toll on my mental health that I've still not recovered to the point where sex isn't just the most nerve-wracking, guilt-ridden, self-demoralizing thing I can think of.
I've turned down perfectly nice people out of fear. Even thinking about asking someone on a date scares the shit out of me. I still try to though... little by little.
Maybe when everyone around me is married I'll finally be in a stable relationship, huh?
So, yeah, I'm all for more education. Sex is healthy and normal. No one should feel like I do.
[QUOTE=Gbps;52459195]This is so goddam true. I've spent a good part of the last three years of my life trying to carefully ease into sexuality as even a remotely normal and healthy concept. (I'm 22)
I grew up as an only child in a religious and conservative household where very little if any talk about sexuality happened. Neither of my parents ever showed physical affection in any way that was mutual.
By around 14, I learned that I was gay, which only complicated things 500% more. After finally working through some of my own personal hell of denial and self-hate, I came out at 19 to a whole new shitstorm of family issues.
My sexuality was seen as an abomination by my parents, and I was told time and time again that my only true option was to become celibate.
Thankfully, I'm moved out and in a much better place in my life now. But, the damage heals slowly.
Basically, I've been convinced my whole life that desire for sex isn't just normal, but wrong. It's taken such a toll on my mental health that I've still not recovered to the point where sex isn't just the most nerve-wracking, guilt-ridden, self-demoralizing thing I can think of.
I can't even begin to think of how I'd even begin to manage in a long-term relationship. I've turned down perfectly nice people out of fear and even thinking about asking someone on a date scares the shit out of me. I still try to though... little by little. Maybe when everyone around me is married I'll finally be in a stable relationship, huh?
I've lost a good portion of the experience in my school years to this. So, yeah, I'm all for more education. Sex is healthy and normal... at least, I keep telling myself that.[/QUOTE]
Whoa, in that regard I have to say I'm lucky because my parents were definitely not like that. Can't imagine what kind of bullshit you have to put up with and had to deal with. Sounds like a nightmare. Mine just...never really tried to teach me anything. I know for a fact I am not gay, as I've had some encounters with that over the years and it's never been my kind of thing. I don't necessarily think I have to be celibate for anything, but I feel you hard on choosing that life over the other options. The alternatives are just very uncomfortable.
I guess for me, it makes me uncomfortable because I feel like I've somehow failed my parents. I mean...when I think of myself and the future I honestly think of myself as a genetic dead end. I can not physically envision myself with a family or with kids or with...well, anything of actual sentimental value. When people ask me if I ever plan on getting married I just laugh at them and in my own pool of self-cynicism hope they'll just move on to asking me something else, because the subject makes me very uncomfortable to talk about.
I've thought about talking to a therapist about this kinda stuff but I feel like I'm too far gone for even that. My friends have tried to help me, their help was just trying to get me laid weekend after weekend and they got tired of seeing me turn girls down, or reject approaching girls no matter how black out drunk I am (gotta say that's probably my favorite trait, no matter how drunk I am I am still remarkably coherent). I don't know what is wrong with me. I think I'm just afraid of sex and if I just get it over with I will be much more comfortable with the subject and have a new perspective on it, but at the same time I feel that won't change anything.
Good luck with your stuff dude. The good news is you at least know what's giving you trouble. I hope that sooner rather than later you cut those people out of your life. You'll be a lot happier without them.
Man I am so sorry to yall who've struggled with sex. That sounds really fucking awful. While I have little to offer that probably hasn't been said, just keep trying to find peace with yourself.
[QUOTE=haloguy234;52459248]Whoa, in that regard I have to say I'm lucky because my parents were definitely not like that. Can't imagine what kind of bullshit you have to put up with and had to deal with. Sounds like a nightmare. Mine just...never really tried to teach me anything. I know for a fact I am not gay, as I've had some encounters with that over the years and it's never been my kind of thing. I don't necessarily think I have to be celibate for anything, but I feel you hard on choosing that life over the other options. The alternatives are just very uncomfortable.
I guess for me, it makes me uncomfortable because I feel like I've somehow failed my parents. I mean...when I think of myself and the future I honestly think of myself as a genetic dead end. I can not physically envision myself with a family or with kids or with...well, anything of actual sentimental value. When people ask me if I ever plan on getting married I just laugh at them and in my own pool of self-cynicism hope they'll just move on to asking me something else, because the subject makes me very uncomfortable to talk about.
I've thought about talking to a therapist about this kinda stuff but I feel like I'm too far gone for even that. My friends have tried to help me, their help was just trying to get me laid weekend after weekend and they got tired of seeing me turn girls down, or reject approaching girls no matter how black out drunk I am (gotta say that's probably my favorite trait, no matter how drunk I am I am still remarkably coherent). I don't know what is wrong with me. I think I'm just afraid of sex and if I just get it over with I will be much more comfortable with the subject and have a new perspective on it, but at the same time I feel that won't change anything.
Good luck with your stuff dude. The good news is you at least know what's giving you trouble. I hope that sooner rather than later you cut those people out of your life. You'll be a lot happier without them.[/QUOTE]
Thank you man. I'm basically surrounded by supportive friends now, that part of my life is definitely over. Just recovering slowly. Hope the best for you and your situation as well.
I never got the talk or a proper sex ed class. I sort of stumbled into understanding sexual activity through the internet and slowly picking up on things (I talked about my slow learnings once with my dad in my middle/early high school years when I thought sex just involved naked adults hugging really hard. I gave him a chuckle then). It was a bit of an obtuse way to learn things, especially when I search places like ye olde YTMND.com for LEGO sites and stumble upon LEGO porn. Weird days indeed.
Not sure if that had any real effect on my sexual habits, but I think I've had some skewing due to my low-level autism and socially-private habits. Save for a childhood "crush" that lasted for all of a mayfly period in first grade, I've had no interest in relationships, having just got my Bachelor's Degree without ever dating someone, so I'm thinking I'm asexual with folks on a sexual level. Yet I have somehow landed myself with some bizarre fetish, so I do actually have motive to fap every once in a while. Lovely.
Admittedly, if I were to find a special someone, I don't know if I would want to partake in sex. Besides the obvious of being virgin to the proper practice, my current lack of sexual arousal to the human form might make being close to and interacting with another person in the nude like that very awkward and unpleasant in a way. If I really am asexual, I suppose it wouldn't really work out for me anyways, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to consider the possibility.
[QUOTE=Gmod4ever;52458499][img]https://files.catbox.moe/66lppr.png[/img]
Remember guys, the Christian right is the tolerant group! :hammered:[/QUOTE]
These people are talking like they've never masturbated in their life or something. The hypocrisy is astounding. Most people start masturbating before they turn 13.
I don't like that people are turning their children's sexual education into a funny youtube video for everyone to see, but this is on another level, it's like they have nothing to complain about so they're trying to be YT moral police.
I'm sorry to drop this in among some genuinely interesting and heart felt discussion about early sexual experiences but 1:56 is probably the closest this video about masturbation gets to being wholesome and I love that kid and his awkward ass dad.
[QUOTE=Laserbeams;52459607]I don't like that people are turning their children's sexual education into a funny youtube video for everyone to see, but this is on another level[/QUOTE]
I mean is there really any issue with it? These kids are clearly old enough to be learning about it, with the point being to encourage sex education and open mindedness about sex. None of them seemed to have a bad experience. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, which I think is exactly how it should be.
Doesn't that give exactly the right mindset for how sex should be treated on the whole?
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;52459686]I mean is there really any issue with it? These kids are clearly old enough to be learning about it, with the point being to encourage sex education and open mindedness about sex. None of them seemed to have a bad experience. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, which I think is exactly how it should be.
Doesn't that give exactly the right mindset for how sex should be treated on the whole?[/QUOTE]
The video is nothing but clickbait trash. The video could have been called "kids react to being taught about masturbation" and it would still be an accurate title. I very much like the idea of everyone being taught to be open about sex, but I'm not sure I like the way it's being handled by this video.
Okay seriously on the topic of porn, I never got the sex ed talk from my parent and I sure as hell have a healthy and normal sex life. Just like how people can distinguish that violence in video games doesn't translate into the real world, I'm sure a healthy-minded individual can distinguish between hardcore porn and what actual sex is like (especially when they're experiencing it).
Doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not, you'd have to be completely deluded growing up watching hardcore porn and thinking that's how sex actually is. I've had partners that use cheesy lines or wanted to try positions which I'm sure they've picked up from porn, but I've never been with or directly heard from somebody that actually thinks hardcore porn is how average sex should be.
I think it's important to learn this stuff, but I think putting it on youtube for entertainment is kinda messed up
[QUOTE=Laserbeams;52459705]The video is nothing but clickbait trash. The video could have been called "kids react to being taught about masturbation" and it would still be an accurate title. I very much like the idea of everyone being taught to be open about sex, but I'm not sure I like the way it's being handled by this video.[/QUOTE]
I think you're being a little unfairly critical of a lighthearted fun video. kirderf posted a video that was totally educational. Not everything has to be that way though. If you don't want to watch what you think is clickbait, don't?
I got proper sex ed, and all went wrong anyway. :vs:
I wish I experimented as a teen.
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;52459759]I think you're being a little unfairly critical of a lighthearted fun video. kirderf posted a video that was totally educational. Not everything has to be that way though. If you don't want to watch what you think is clickbait, don't?[/QUOTE]
Too late, I already did.
I really like the Norwegian one, though. That's the kind of thing I would actually show to my kids if I couldn't be arsed to explain it to them myself or something. [sp]Also if I had kids[/sp]
We never had the talk, Dad just told me to be responsible about it. At the end of the day it wouldn't of mattered if they did or not because I've never gotten that far into a relationship to use said knowledge so it doesn't bug me.
I never had the talk. I just sort of figured it out and my parents figured out that I figured it out. No sweat.
Man good on them for giving the talk. They were all really great about it.
But boy oh boy I wouldn't want my mom talking to me about masturbation to be up on youtube forever.
[QUOTE=Wormy;52457257]I'm over 20 and haven't had any talk about it either, kinda glad about that.[/QUOTE]
i'm open with my mum and other siblings. i called my mum the morning after i punch my v card.
but my dad still thinks im like 18 (i'm turning 24) so i dont really talk to him about anything.
There was a better video with Dakota Skye and Brandi Love about masturbation and sex.
Just google "Dakota Skye teaches teen couple".
[QUOTE=CruelAddict;52460616]There was a better video with Dakota Skye and Brandi Love about masturbation and sex.
Just google "Dakota Skye teaches teen couple".[/QUOTE]
[quote=Wikipedia]Tracey Lynn Livermore[1] (born March 29, [b]1973[/b]), better known by her stage name Brandi Love[/quote]
[quote=CruelAddict]"Dakota Skye teaches [b]teen[/b] couple".[/quote]
I know porn likes to push the definition of "teen" into early-to-mid twenties, but this is getting ridiculous!
Sexual stuff in general tends to be a nightmare down here in FL.
Sex Ed class was never a thing I had, not once, not an ounce of education. I mean, that might be unfair, as they claim to have given us sex ed, but the class was actually just them telling us the anatomy of a dick and a puss and telling us that babies come from the womb.
Literally nothing more and nothing less.
Also at least in the area I'm from, sex in general is still heavily demonized. Not just gay sex, or anything of that sort, just [I]sex[/I] in general.
The area is still very heavily Christian and Conservative, so I guess that explains the lack of actual sex ed, and the demonization.
But I mean, this is like the one place where almost no teens dared experiment or anything.
I remember word of two people having sex getting out and everybody actually [I]hated[/I] them. It wasn't bigotry, it wasn't anything to do with them as people.
They were genuinely hated, and avoided by people, and constantly talked about behind their backs because they were a couple and had sex.
It's a fucking no man's land down here pretty much. A massive Taboo that no one dares to touch.
[QUOTE=The Civ;52463146]Sexual stuff in general tends to be a nightmare down here in FL.
Sex Ed class was never a thing I had, not once, not an ounce of education. I mean, that might be unfair, as they claim to have given us sex ed, but the class was actually just them telling us the anatomy of a dick and a puss and telling us that babies come from the womb.
Literally nothing more and nothing less.
Also at least in the area I'm from, sex in general is still heavily demonized. Not just gay sex, or anything of that sort, just [I]sex[/I] in general.
The area is still very heavily Christian and Conservative, so I guess that explains the lack of actual sex ed, and the demonization.
But I mean, this is like the one place where almost no teens dared experiment or anything.
I remember word of two people having sex getting out and everybody actually [I]hated[/I] them. It wasn't bigotry, it wasn't anything to do with them as people.
They were genuinely hated, and avoided by people, and constantly talked about behind their backs because they were a couple and had sex.
It's a fucking no man's land down here pretty much. A massive Taboo that no one dares to touch.[/QUOTE]
It was like this in Maryland in high school as well. Funny enough by that point 99% of the students in my public school had already put two and two together. It wasn't until college of THIS YEAR (HS graduation was 2012) when we were given clear definition of sexual activity, positions, orgasms, the works. This was the same professor that tried to publish our sexual experience papers for her textbook. We had the occasional rumors and the "16 and Pregnant from anotha man" drama for a couple of years, but not a lick of hatred or bigotry in committing to having sex.
Even "the talk" in high school was pretty much to the point with my parents. "They did they teach you about sex in school son?" "Uh, kind of? They just showed body parts and I just solved it." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Yeah." "Okay, just remember to wrap it. I'm not in a hurry for grandkids."
I only just realized that the dislikes are through the roof.
Pretty much everyone online is calling this creepy for publicly introducing sex toys to young kids. I have to wonder if they have a point there; I'm undecided.
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