• DSP - This Is How You DON'T Play Video Games 2013 (7 Hours of DSP retardation)
    153 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Tetsmega;43418095]I want to see him play a kid's game and see if he can actually beat it.[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.barbie.com/activities/fun_games/[/url]
[QUOTE=Tetsmega;43418095]I want to see him play a kid's game and see if he can actually beat it.[/QUOTE] [url]http://disney.kids.yahoo.co.jp/game/pooh.html[/url]
Never has anyone made such a strong argument for euthanasia before.
what game is it at an hour and 50 minutes?
[QUOTE=ss1234;43407508]$100 to anyone who can sit through this whole thing[/QUOTE] In one sitting?
[QUOTE=asteroidrules;43419972]In one sitting?[/QUOTE] I already did it. That 100 dollars is mine.
[QUOTE=ss1234;43407508]$100 to anyone who can sit through this whole thing[/QUOTE] if you're serious about this statement I'm in dire need of a hundred dollars.
[QUOTE=thelurker1234;43419956]what game is it at an hour and 50 minutes?[/QUOTE] Skullgirls.
The only way you could be this fucking stupid is if his mother, grandmother, great grandmother and great great grandmother huffed paint chips, smoked and drank their way though pregnancy and he was dropped on his head as a baby twice.
[QUOTE=ss1234;43407508]$100 to anyone who can sit through this whole thing[/QUOTE] Just did the whole thing, screenshot for proof: [img]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/53757408/dsp.png[/img] I know the time gap isn't exact, that's because I stopped about three hours in to use a bathroom and get a drink, there was also some pausing throughout to read through the onscreen comments. Here's a list of what games were done, and a couple comments on each, split into the different segments, and some general thoughts I had during part two: Starts with CoD: Dogs, kinda strange how he treats pretty much every game with guns like a pew pew shooter (and consequently sucks at them) when in reality he sucks pretty hard at actual pew pew shooters too MGS 3 for about half an hour Injustice for less than 10 minutes Killer Instinct for about one match, that one where he started by insulting the kid and then lost epicly Bayonetta (took him almost 10 minutes to remember something that the game had already told him how to do, then called Fly Me to the Moon "the worst song ever") About an hour in he goes through two/three GTA games. Around 1:23:00 we go back to the "How do I use rations" incident, and other highlights from the MGS2 playthrough. After twenty minutes he goes to a geography minigame on the European map (funny how he says "Spain, I knew that" after saying it was the UK, twice). Then it goes to Skullgirls' final boss (that "definition of insanity" thing describes him far too well). 1:55:00-ish we go to GTAV. Just over two hours in we're on MVC3. Half an hour later it's Tekken Tag. 2:45:00 is Killzone Shadowfall for just a bit. Then there's Metal Gear Rising (I threw up at some point during there, I'm not sure how much of that was him and how much was the flu). About 3:38:30 he jumps off a roof in Max Payne 3, and for another eleven minutes (felt so much longer) he continues to play the game in the exact opposite manner it's meant to be played (HOW did he get a golden gun when he's that bad?). Around 3:50:00 it's on to LoZ:SS (surprise surprise: he's too dumb to do a spin attack or even [i]actually attack enemies[/i]). Then it goes to Black Mesa where we see it confirmed beyond all doubt that the game did in fact tell him how to crouch jump. About 4:43:00 we go to Witcher 2. Then about 7 minutes later we went to Kingdom Hearts, personally I'd say that one had about the worst commentary of any of his videos. Almost 5 hours into this torture he mistook DMC for a TPS (Also, I'm surprised no one here complained about the pony). After 13 minutes of that we go to Dark Souls where he takes "doing the dumbest thing possible" to a new degree by doing the dumbest thing possible and bragging about it (and mister "I play games for fun" admits he's only playing this to get paid). About five and a half hours in it goes to Demon's Souls, I think calling that enemy's dodging "skillful" is the closest he's ever gotten to actually respecting his opponent and not just blaming all his own failings on mechanics, of course he immediately balanced that out by sinking to a new low in his insulting of developers and actually ragequitting. Ten minutes later it's more MGS interspersed with Castlevania Lords of Shadow and something else I didn't catch, either way the whole point of that segment is just about his obsession with Kojima. Almost six hours in there's a credit segment (why were all the comments mentioned collapsed? Seemed kind of dumb even if it was just for name crediting, defeats the purpose of bothering to show any of the comment). Finally at an actual 6 hours in we get to part two, good lord two hours of just him bitching, not with any game stuff in it anymore, just him threatening, guilt-trapping, and crying. He has no idea what trolling actually is does he? Also I can't help but notice KWO said "than" when he pointed out DSP admitting to only playing for money, it should have been "Then". Good Lord the manchild legitimately tried whining about "bugged mechanics" in real life. I like the commentary KWO put over the whining in part two. He seems awfully passionate about how nobody cares about the comments he won't stop whining about, seems a bit contradictory. Wow, that was a lot of false tags, and did he just not realize it's possible to direct-capture from console? Oh boy, that whole debacle with the custom gaming PC, the BGM he put on for the stream chat bits was nice though. And of course what retrospective could be complete without DSP's raging in response to the original "this is how you don't play" videos? Kind of funny how certain he is that fair use is illegal. "I don't want to entertain through hate", did he seriously say that? Even without all the absurd statements on criticism that's just ridiculous. "TobyTurner made a gaming channel to make money, even though he's horrendous at gaming" aside from names that is a 100% accurate description of Phil. Well, it took over 7 hours for me to hear him make a racist "joke", I'm impressed. Then of course there's the whole "you need to beat a game to review it, but it's A-okay that I barely played a quarter of Dark Souls before reviewing it". Okay, his reaction to the sewing was genuinely disturbing. As a recovering Megaman addict, it kind of hurts to see him in a Protoman shirt, as in slightly more than just seeing him at all hurts. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Well that's it for the video, in a closing remark I just want to say it never ceases to amaze me that this man is capable of feeding himself, at this point it is more logical to assume that his diet consists entirely of liquids than it is to assume he's capable of chewing solid foods. Also I know a lot of people say how bad his laughing is, but to me it was always the clapping that was the real nails on the chalkboard, he sounds like a demented symbol-monkey. Also also, kind of disappointed KWO didn't include that time he got double-perfected in Street Fighter after insulting his opponent.
are you fucking serious, how could you sit for eight hours watching that shit. like. I'd probably die.
[QUOTE=asteroidrules;43425036] Well that's it for the video, in a closing remark I just want to say it never ceases to amaze me that this man is capable of feeding himself, at this point it is more logical to assume that his diet consists entirely of liquids than it is to assume he's capable of chewing solid foods. Also I know a lot of people say how bad his laughing is, but to me it was always the clapping that was the real nails on the chalkboard, he sounds like a demented symbol-monkey. [/QUOTE] It's more his burping that drives me up the wall. Once in a blue moon when the stars aline, he will pardon himself but, at least half of each playthrough videos has a burp or two.
The worst part about DSP is that he must see all these positive reviews, none of which mention bugged mechanics, OP enemies, 'broken' things as basic as [B]jumping[/B], and yet still he tries the same tactics and techniques over and over and over. If games were evolution, this guy would still be primordial ooze, wallowing in his puddle screaming "HEY HOW COME EVERYTHING'S BIGGER THAN ME AND HAS MOUTHS AND EYES AND SHIT MY EVOLUTION MUST BE BROKEN".
My comment is quoted at 29:58 :D
give that man his 100 dollars
I really hope someone plants a few worms into his ( that a fan's 1.2k spent, which DSP also claims he bought himself) PC, and sabotages him the moment he streams. I'm angry. Especially after what I heard in the near end of the video, I need a good laugh.
[QUOTE=lolo;43428971]I really hope someone plants a few worms into his ( that a fan's 1.2k spent, which DSP also claims he bought himself) PC, and sabotages him the moment he streams. I'm angry. Especially after what I heard in the near end of the video, I need a good laugh.[/QUOTE] DSP paid for the PC, he paid them for the parts and they put it together for him. The only thing that's off about this is he claims he paid much more than he actually did.
watching dsp be horrible at videogames is kinda soothing in a way
Jesus fucking christ, DSP's attitude towards Chris after all the shit Chris just did for him. And then he says bullshit like "direct capture doesn't work for people that just want to sit down in their living room with a big screen tv and just play". Neither does setting up a fucking camera with a tripod. If you want to play the game then you just play, you don't set up a camera to record the shit you play. [editline]5th January 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Loribird;43430646]watching dsp be horrible at videogames is kinda soothing in a way[/QUOTE] How is it soothing? It's infuriating because he can't solve the simplest of gameplay mechanics. Wow the boss just broke through a fence and the camera pointed at the fence? Let me explore every fucking area but the broken fucking fence and then bitch and moan that the game is bugged because I'm too fucking dumb to realize the game is telling me where to go.
[QUOTE=Laferio;43425374]are you fucking serious, how could you sit for eight hours watching that shit. like. I'd probably die.[/QUOTE] You won't die straight away, a tumour just develops in your brain somewhere
i can totally see the CIA employing looping videos of DSP for their information extraction
This guy has the worst fucking disposition on the planet. He makes excuses about every single bad thing that ever happened, shamelessly uses blanket arguments to block comments while saying he's not trying to censor anybody, even guilts and whines at his audience for not getting views. When somebody called him ugly he even said something like "what that's gay dude guys don't comment on each other's appearances."
Why the fuck did he give away collector's editions without the fucking games? He could've at least bought a used copy and put in the box, it'd be a better prize than an empty case.
DSP proves that people don't just hate people because they're popular. DSP is way more of an arrogant douchenozzle than PewDiePie could ever hope to be.
[QUOTE=Mini Shot;43432637]Why the fuck did he give away collector's editions without the fucking games? He could've at least bought a used copy and put in the box, it'd be a better prize than an empty case.[/QUOTE] Because he's a narcassistic douche man-child who think people should compete and grovel over junk he doesn't want.
[QUOTE=sirdownloadsalot;43434253]Because he's a narcassistic douche man-child who think people should compete and grovel over junk he doesn't want.[/QUOTE] But that's also why we love him. He's like a horrible train wreck of a person, it's so awful and terrible but you can't look away. At least I can't. I'm weak :(
Hey guys remember when DSP did a giveaway of the Mass Effect 3 collector's edition, without the actual game given away with it ? [editline]dsp[/editline] Wow I'm late that's bullshit whatever dude how was I supposed to know people already talked about this, chrome didn't tell me anything, hahahaha [editline]dsp2[/editline] burp
DSP is proof that you don't need effort to get famous on youtube. And that just pisses me off.
[QUOTE=Blu_ninja;43434458]DSP is proof that you don't need effort to get famous on youtube. And that just pisses me off.[/QUOTE] I'd argue that he's actually making a lot of effort. Because imagine yourself doing tedious shit you don't find a little bit interesting, and plus you're terribly bad at this and it pisses you off doing it. It's pretty obvious that he doesn't like playing games, at all. But it pays, so he just drags himself through it. It's not an effort to be admired or even respected, but it's an effort. If you think about it this way, hell, it might just make it more sad than anything.
[QUOTE=DeEz;43431738]i can totally see the CIA employing looping videos of DSP for their information extraction[/QUOTE] "Johnson, he's not talking. You know what that means..." "You're not seriously considering-" "Get DSP's MGS3 playthrough. Maybe then he'll talk."
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