• So I think my girlfriend might be a nymphomaniac
    240 replies, posted
[QUOTE=adamjon858;25631633]Have you tried reinflating her?[/QUOTE] Ultimate Zing!
[QUOTE=Mingebox;25650979]Is she just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac albino gogo dancer?[/QUOTE] Lady Gaga?
[QUOTE=ItchyBarracuda;25645560]How exactly did it get to this point though? Was she a nymphomaniac, or depressed or something? Surely you had a good relationship of some kind to start engaging in sex with her in the first place. Nearly 10 months.[/QUOTE] Our relationship started going downhill when the sex started playing a bigger role in it (Like after two to three months or so). Of course I'm not saying that sex wouldn't be a pleasurable thing, but when the whole relationship is starting to show signs of it being only based on sex, it will come tumbling down. (Sorry if that last sentence doesn't make any sense, I'm finnish and my english isn't that great!) Well, actually she was sexually assaulted by his own grandfather (It is still boggling my mind how someone can do stuff like that to their own grandaughter!) when she was 7 and 11. So yes, there might be some mental stuff behind it. But as our relationship was reaching it's end her appetite for sex started reaching nymphomanic levels. She'd actually wake me up in the middle of the night to have sex and it pissed me off alot when I just wanted to sleep. Yes we had a good relationship. She was a virgin before me, and so was I before her. So we were both first timers. It was a shame that we broke up because of the fact that almost all emotions were gone and that sex was playing the main role in our realtionship.
[QUOTE=Milkyway M16;25647843]You found yourself a very horny girl, not a nympho which is pretty much what everyone else said. I know a nypho irl and [B]she's ridiculously crazy and I mean it. She wanted to date me[/B] :ohdear:[/QUOTE] That's fucking crazy.
[QUOTE=Craptasket;25631507]Stop typing and do more fucking[/QUOTE] or fuck while typing. i be jealous
To everyone that's talking about how she'll cheat on Itchy because she's horny all the time (this is also a suggestion to Itchy) there's a REAL easy fix. Chastity Belt. Get her one that allows her to finger herself if she needs to, but is in no way large enough for a guy to get his tongue in there or his dick. Keep the only key on a necklace around your neck. Problem solved. [editline]26th October 2010[/editline] Also a little camera on it somewhere. [editline]26th October 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=ItchyBarracuda;25650774]by being openly honest whether or not one of us finished, and proceed to satisfy each other. [/QUOTE] I had the mental image of a guy finishing, the girl growling, grabbing him by the dick/balls, glaring at him and saying "I'm not fucking done yet" and then forcing him to fuck her again.
Sex in strange places is one of the many joys in life.
[QUOTE=ItchyBarracuda;25650774] She's got an unmistakable reaction when she climaxes [/QUOTE] Elaborate :downs::fh:
Loan her to us, we will help her deal with her appetite for sex.
Give her an Alabama hot pocket. That should solve things quite nicely.
[QUOTE=bat country;25672022]Give her an Alabama hot pocket. That should solve things quite nicely.[/QUOTE] Forgive me, but what is an "Alabama hot pocket"? Sorry if I'm the only one who dosn't know.
[QUOTE=bat country;25672022]Give her an Alabama hot pocket. That should solve things quite nicely.[/QUOTE] Why would one state get a different variety of microwavable pizza snack that's just asinine
[QUOTE=TEAMGiant;25670965]Sex in strange places is one of the many joys in life.[/QUOTE] [Img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/ratings/tick.png[/Img]
[QUOTE=Psychokitten;25673570]Forgive me, but what is an "Alabama hot pocket"? Sorry if I'm the only one who dosn't know.[/QUOTE] [quote]The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin'. The term "Alabama" originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves "Porky Piggin'" the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old redneck boys, when bored, would fuck pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin' follow-up procedure, one must take a massive shit onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin' the girl... repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough. Yeah boy, I gave her a good ole Alabama Hot Pocket. What? No shit I Porky Piggin'd that shit.[/quote]
that's gross.
[QUOTE=PN_Redux;25646850]What im wondering is, with all of this sex wouldnt the vagina get stretched out? It is a muscle after a while and like the asshole if you fuck it for a while it gets stretched out but unlike the vagina it really doesnt tighten up the way it was before.[/QUOTE] A baby's head is designed to come out of there and then return to its original state, unless Barracuda has a penis with the circumference of your average newborn's head, she should be fine.
Troll
[QUOTE=NateN34;25675004]Troll[/QUOTE] Idiot
I love how many people in here are like OH GOD YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOU'RE HAVING SEX sex is not that big of a deal
I like the one where you were in the club better.
Quite a story OP. Made my day.
I hope one of you is sterile.
[QUOTE=BURN DOWN;25677619]I hope one of you is sterile.[/QUOTE] I honestly wish i was sterile and had a nymphomaniac girlfriend.
Yeah, because you can't have a lot of sex without being sterile. Plus, it's way worth being sterile, who cares about kids. :downs:
[QUOTE=dzonint;25677853]Yeah, because you can't have a lot of sex without being sterile. Plus, it's way worth being sterile, who cares about kids. :downs:[/QUOTE] Vasectomy. It's reversible.
[QUOTE=dzonint;25677853]Plus, it's way worth being sterile, who cares about kids. :downs:[/QUOTE] I don't, like really. I think I'll do the world good if i keep myself in the single instance.
Tell her you want to slow down, or learn something or two in the art of sex and promise her every weekend that it'll be amazing and she has to wait.
Call the cops, she's raping you
Teach her to make sandwiches, then she might get sandwichphomaniac, and make you sandwiches anywhere... On the other hand, you lucky cunt
[QUOTE=thisispain;25674960][/QUOTE] you fucking fetish retardant
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