Granted, but you have to wait a completely random period of time within your lifetime for them to reactivate.
I wish I could will one object into existence around me per day in exchange for that item's equivalent mass being taken from somewhere else.
Granted. The item's equivalent mass will be taken from your lifespan.
I wish my local anime convention had more merit than just "Oh, it's 10-20 minutes away from the local peelers"
Granted. But now there's a bunch of sleazy assholes attending it each year.
I wish for the power to confirm a single religion's validity to exactly one person.
Granted, but now every other person from different religions is out to get you AND the exact one person you've indoctrinated.
I wish for an infinite supply of cookies that I'll use for many different purposes besides eating.
Granted, but they're HTTP cookies and completely fill up your hard drive instantly to the point that you can't boot up your machine.
I wish there was world peace.
Granted, but as a result all attempts at colonizing other planets will end in nuclear annihilation
I wish I was cool enough to play JB Mod.
Granted, but you never can purchase or play jbmod
I wish that I had more energy
Granted, but now you are paralyzed.
I wish I had any kind of internet besides satellite internet ;-;
Granted, its dial up, via cell phone.
I wish Bluetooth worked
Granted, but since bluetooth working is a physical impossibility, it just doesn't exist anymore.
I wish i was president
Granted, you are president of NAMBLA now.
I wish I could see into the future.
Granted, but you don't like what you see and in spite of this, fate has its way of pushing you towards the very future you intend to avoid.
I wish I had a sanctioned psyker who can help cleanse my mind of the Heresy that is Warhammer Adventures.
Granted, but now your mind is filled with TF2 knowledge.
I wish I had a Golden Frying Pan.
Granted, but now every scammer, bot, and greedy 12 year old is constantly adding you on Steam trying to get it from you.
I wish I was a voice actor.
Granted, but you can only act for the voice that people hear on a robocall, ads on autoplay, and CNET videos.
I wish my license wasn't pending suspension.
Granted but now you lost it and cant find it.
I wish I could fly
Granted.
Now you cannot ever stop flying.
Also, you are accelerating towards the sky. The amount of force being pushed against you is so great and keeps increasing at an alarming rate in such a way that not even a ceiling can stop you for long.
Oh dear.
I wish for a window.
Granted, you have been given a window of opportunity to do something great.
But you're guaranteed to squander it.
I wish for a tasty lasagna.
Granted, but it's not meant for you and instead it's meant for Garfield.
I wish I had a big tiddy goth gf.
Granted. You now have a big tiddy goth giraffe friend
Wish I had a tube of super glue
Granted, but all the glue is dried up so it's just a solid block.
I wish I had some duct tape that would actually be sticky.
Granted, but the duct tape sounds like nails on a chalkboard when you unroll it.
I wish all animals would wear small hats.
Granted, but the hats are made of refined weapons grade plutonium - resulting in the complete ecological death of earth for the next millennium.
I wish I had another dollar.
Granted, but it's a fake dollar and you get arrested for trying to buy goods with fake currency.
I wish the TF Team had more programmers.
Granted, but every time they start coding their computer sets itself on fire
I wish I could drink tea any time I want
Granted, but its quality will wildly vary per use, and its source dubious to say the least..
I wish to set fire to humanity
Granted, but you're also included.
I wish for the power to kill only ONE trending meme, causing it to be dead in an instant
Granted, but 3 dozen more of expired facebook / youtube trending tier memes appear immediately afterwords
I wish I had a phoneline that was always on straight to garry
Granted, but he blocks the number.
I wish for a spray can!
Granted, but it's empty.
I wish all of these shitty compilation channels would stop existing.
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