• Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: The amazing Egg cracking station
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For now its strictly business. But she seemed nice, so maybe I'll drop the bomb eventually.
It's okay - I always freeze up myself too. It's just one of those awkward things that is like *is it worth bringing up?* I'm getting my legs waxed next week on Tuesday, before a trip of mine. So I'm sure she'll just mention about me being a guy - but who knows. On a side note I measured myself today for clothes and god damn I hate it all.
I've got a new job offer that is literally double my current wage so I'm looking into getting laser soon; the sooner I can get rid of all this crap on my face the better.
I've been meaning to do just that. Hollywood is starting to feel a bit too far for me, considering Kaiser is literally a few minutes away.
i can't read the image i have dyslexia and the animation makes it unreadable :c
It says, "there is no LGBT science".
god i just wanna spend a million on clothes just so i can find what suits me, aaaaaaa good news is I found earthy colours like greens and browns really suit me, im a nature bitch
Gonna try to motivate myself to go out to the Pride festival today. I'm real close to chickening out out of pure laziness but I really don't want to regret not going.
I skipped out on Pride because I don't yet feel like I'm valid enough to belong :c
I went and it was pretty cool! Extremely hot tho. Got dehydrated so I'm trying to recover now. Got a cool new shirt from HRC though that's subtle enough to wear around home without my parents caring. Pretty successful I guess! Maybe next year I'll find people to go with.
Honestly I saw all kinds of people there including allies. There was even some booths there for local churches that were reaching out with info for their services b/c they accepted people of any orientation. They just wanted to show support which, coming from a religious background, was super nice to see. You couldn't really tell who was who there so there was no point in anyone trying to police anyone on validity. I'm assuming most pride festivals are the same way. Nobody is as vocal about 'you can't celebrate this with us' in person. Online, it happens quite a bit because people are bolder and more stupid. But when you're there, you're all just there to support and love each other and have fun. It's worth experiencing, even just once.
Went shopping again with my friend and went to Hot Topic for the hell of it. There was another trans girl in there still in her awkward high school hot topic phase. She was with both her parents. It was unbelievably adorable. She was so pretty too. I wish I had told my oarents sooner so I could have had that childhood. :c
So many of us miss the childhoods we never got to have :c
Tried painting my nails for the first time. Holy fuck, doing it with your non dominant hand is hella hard.
I don't know exactly what to say. I had always within me this feeling that something wasn't right, that I prefered to stay and play with girls rather than with boys, and the last years this feeling has come bigger. IDK, maybe is just only my mind, but maybe I desire to be a woman. But I have fear. I don't know what I should do. I already told it to some of my friends and while they understood me, sadly they are clueless as me. I'm thinking on telling it to my sister first in order to check the ground for my parents, but I'm insecure. I live abroad and this is one of these moments where I truly wish there were something like a "Life's manual" so I could look it up and see what to do or at least what's happening. Usually I tend to have knowledge of all the topics, but in transgerderism, aside of the basics and how T-people feels, I have no idea of the steps needed. There's some sort of site about like the EU usually has, or a place that I can gather more info about how it goes here?
I don't know how it works where you're from, but I made an appointment with a doctor who referred me to a gender clinic at a hospital. They'll talk you through it to find out what works best for you. You don't need to be 100% sure before you start, but keep in mind there might be (long) waiting times, so you'll likely have time to think it through before anything happens anyway.
She seems to care about her image to the people she talks to, and so much so that she's outright ignoring you when you say these things. I want to tell you to get her to sit down with you and talk about it. There was no reason for her to guilt trip you like that.
So after my vacation here I have my first HRT appointment. I'm excited and nervous, but also more validated since I saw a therapist. On another note - I'm gonna have someone paint my nails on vacation, so there's that.
Oh damn that sounds awesome.
I started running today before work so I can finally get rid of the little belly and neck fat that I have. Maybe i'll finally feel like i'm not looking at garbage when I look in the mirror. On another note, I started at 149 pounds last month and now I'm down to 141. Pretty sure it's all just lost water weight from the spiro, but I have that going for me.
i dunno how much use this will be to people or indeed if you've heard of them but there's a site that sells silicone breast forms for relatively inexpensive prices (if you're only after a smaller size). they're doing like a 40% off sale on some items. i personally recommend the f100s. not sure if they ship out of the uk however
My mom found my Pride shirt the other day. Said something along the lines of "you know this is gay pride right?" and I just laughed it off, said I got it when I was volunteering, and that it wasn't like I was gonna wear it to church or anything. She laughed about it and seemed to wave it off so - At least I don't have to hide it now!
I kept referring to my hair as pretty to my mom, and she mentioned how that's not very manly. Shit. Oh well I got some highlights in my hair and got my legs waxed!
Well back on the waiting list, fun.
Truth be told. I am so terrible at talking about serious topics. I normally break down and cry before I even say anything I want to say. So I normally just keep my mouth shut.
Welp, my dysphoria and depression kicked into high gear today. I didn't talk to anyone during my entire shift and went home immediately afterwards. My mom noticed something was wrong and I vented about everything that was running through my mind. It partially stemmed from me being envious of that other trans girl I saw the other day and how I feel like I'm so young, but I already messed up my entire life. She thinks it's probably best that I find a support group or it's probably time I come out to my extended family. My only issue is that I'm not overly femme at the moment and I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously. All the trans people in their friend circles are the loud and proud dragqueen-ish types, which are the opposite of how I am. On another note, she stopped by a goodwill earlier and found me a cute GAP activewear turtleneck. That was nice of her.
https://78.media.tumblr.com/0a62d6f3aae5e37c4a3a50c104176e06/tumblr_pbboiquCJX1rp9j9oo1_1280.jpg no make up but i think this pic is pretty nice tryna get myself out of a rut where i dress lazy and never leave the house lol wish me LUCK
I fucking love your shirt and collar/choker.
Thanks! I treated myself to a whole bunch of new clothes as a birthday treat to myself Here's another one featuring Messy Room and Dusty Mirror http://neodem.net/pix/2018-07-04_18-18-45.png I will tidy up and dust off this mirror before posting more pix
I also got some new clothes today. I really wanted to get some Sperry's and a new Fossil watch but had to curb myself before spending an additional 200 bucks lol. https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/1868/70b17393-1090-44d3-8ad7-ca90be4495bd/image.png I still have to buy women's jeans but they're all a looser fit so they're more masculine in shape which is nice.
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