Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: The amazing Egg cracking station
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Im not sure if this is sarcasm or not, but it's good I can ask anyway. I'm not a fan of ruining things myself, less so of others doing the same thing :c
So, I had a visit with my endo at Kaiser and overall, I had a pretty good experience! They asked me for my pronouns and everything and I didn't get misgendered once. I've been very forgetful lately about taking my E, so I asked if I could be put on weekly injections. They said sure! So, the bad news is, once a week for a few weeks, I have to go in for labs so they can figure out proper doses. Each lab visit is $45. On the upside, if I go to the nurses clinic in urgent care, my weekly E injections are free up until whenever they decide I can self administer.
Also, the in-house pharmacy is a total ripoff. I'm used to paying $45 total for 180 tablets of spiro and 270 tablets of E. That's through the LGBT center though, so obviously they give massive discounts to their patients there.
Over at Kaiser they charged me $68 for 100 tablets of spiro. That's like double the price over at Costco with a GoodRX coupon. It's not like I can't afford it though, but it's just less than ideal.
I keep seeing the ideal E is 200pg/mL and ideal T is 5-55 pg/mL though that's from just seeing the numbers a ton.
I just don't care and wear it however I want, but mines pretty hard to control so it tends to go all floofy.
Need to use a load of conditioner to keep it under control otherwise it just curls up and dries out.
My hair is actually pretty wavy and. I just straighten it and style it when I feel like it.
Screw that. I've learned to love my little ringlets! Though my hair and scalp is dry as hell. My land for a long-lasting conditioner.
The thing is, I always cut my hair with the idea that it's gonna be straight. But i never stop to consider how it'll look if I dont straighten it.
I hate my hair too much effort to keep it down. I hope straightening it will remove the curls
Yeah I know but like it's really difficult to manage when it gets to that point which is hella shitty. Is there any other way to get around it?I know straightening it enough actually stops it from curling.
This is just starting to happen to me and I keep managing to hit myself somehow and them I'm useless for a few seconds.
You'll get better at avoiding it as time goes on. I would hit myself with reactions all the time just because I've never had to really be conscious about it before.
Fuck. I hung out with my coworker/friend today in Little Tokyo for the Tanabata festival and then we headed off to the 626 night market. I went in a sort of tomboyish (dare I say, lesbian) look. Cutoff skinny jeans above my knees, baseball cap, flowy flannel tunic thing and my best sneakers. I caught some looks and a heard a few side remarks but that was expected. The confusion people have is pretty funny tbh. Being able to go out and not care is pretty great.
However, the constant misgendering from my friend is whats killing me. She knows a lot of people from working conventions and we ran into a lot of her friends. None of which have met me before. She always introduces me as a guy, calls me a he and she never corrects herself in front of the person, when it matters most. Its always appologies after the fact. "Sorry, I know. I always catch myself after." It just sets off an avalanche of "dude", "man" and so on.
While we were at the night market, we ran into a girl running a merch booth that recognized my friend. And she said somethin like "wow, are you a pimp or something? You're always hanging out with different guys!" And she says something like "nah, he and I work together." Shit dude, misgender me at work where I'm hiding, but not when we're outside.
On the flipside, the mother of the girl working the booth noticed me when I stepped to the side. She asked my name and complimented my outfit. According to her, she loves the way I carry myself. How I always had a hand on one hip, how my hair was swept back behind one ear exposing my earring, my choice in glasses, and the way I walked. I thanked her forbher kind words. I'd like to think she knew. Some people are more perceptive than others, I guess.
I dont know how much more of this I can take. I hang out with her, because I thought she was supportive. I hang out with her, so I can feel normal. But more often than not, I go home feeling like shit and wanting to cry.
I'm just so fucking tired.
Im not sure if it get worse or better as they develop. Chafing will always be a bastard though.
Confront her if you're comfortable with that. Ask if they even know. If they do, call them out on their shit. If they don't, ease them into it. If they aren't gonna budge either way, drop them like a hot pan. You're gorgeous as fuck if the last pic is anything to go by. Don't need that stuff to weigh you down.
Oh believe me, she knows. I've vented to her about all my problems and all the depression and dysphoria. I don't ask her for much., except this one thing. She says shes trying, but honestly its hella slow going. I dont think she knows how serious this is.
Honestly it feels like shes trying to downplay my problems because she always manages to switch the conversation to her issues and her family problems. Her narcisistic mother and sister.
Like I get it. Her life sucks "more". But to make it seem like my problems are nothing is just bullshit.
Before I came out to her, she would jokingly call me miss and ma'am and lady. Of course there were sirs in between. After? Not once. She says she calls everyone dude and man, but at work when were hanging out and talking with the girls she almost never says those things.
Whats strange though is one of my friends at work that I'm not out to is literally the bro-iest bro, ive made actual friends with. We literally bonded on his first day when I trained him because he liked my car (1991 Toyota mr2). He was like "I saw you in the parking lot and you had the coolest car here. I had to make friends with you!" Like he knew me a few months pre transition.
Anyway, I've noticed lately that he's been using female pronouns around me. One time he called me a she in front of another coworker. That coworker was all like "she?!" And he didn't correct himself. Another time when I cut my hair and got new glasses, he said "oh shit, you look different! You've graduated from Filipina (term for filipino woman) to full on Korean pop star!"
That dude sounds like a way better friend, NGL. Honestly, if she is dealing with narcissistic family abuse, it could be rubbing off on her. Trying to use the same tactics her family uses to keep her there to keep you around as well. If you have had full on conversations with her about it and she still gets it wrong... it is bullshit. I used to work in a deep red factory with people who have barely started actually seeing gay people, and within the first hour everyone was doing it right, people I had worked with for 5 months and never even knew about this sort of thing, and had never seen me as a woman.
Maybe we don't see the full picture and there's some extenuating circumstances but she sounds like a really shit friend who's making you miserable.
It's your choice at the end of the day but I'd advise that either you confront her about it or you cut her out of your life.
I just kinda felt like posting this here.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/282409136388308992/478353710125154314/20180812_134047.png
Very rarely do I take a picture I feel happy with.
hi hello it's me
Went to the endocrinologist today, and had a very very good experience there. Long story short, the doctor was super nice and we went over all the pros/cons/changes that happen. She discussed what medication she would put me on and my options for taking it (we settled on using patches as she said that's more effective than pills). They took some blood work and the doctor said she'd have results by tomorrow and that if everything was good I'd probably be able to pick up the patches tomorrow as well.
Basically, after years of confusion and trying to find the right path to take, I'm finally on the path to becoming a real girl.
There's a couple of patch types out there. Sometimes they can be a pain in the butt, so be prepared for them to bubble up at times
But go you! I'm glad you had a positive experience c:
Seeing everyone else go so quickly is depressing, if don't get a response by this time next year I'm giving up on the NHS and going private even if I can't afford it, I'm going to end up doing something I'll regret at this rate.
Fuck this waiting list bullshit, 7 fucking years of this crap, 5 just to get a fucking appointment originally then 1 for the due process, only to get booted off as I was doing a uni course and it was a stressful time, now back on the waiting list again but I'm pretty damn convinced my GP never actually referred me again (like last time, had to see his fucking daughter to actually get it done right) as should have had something back by now to confirm it.
Also on that note, I have nothing against anyone here, but visiting the thread depresses the hell out of me due to the reasons above, its why I don't visit it much when I'd like too, times I wish I could just talk about stuff related to all of this but it makes me feel really bad, to the degree of jealousy which isn't good.
Hope everything goes well for those who don't have to deal with this bullshit, you don't want to experience this hell.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel bad
Its ok I'm just ranting again.
https://files.facepunch.com/garry/faa43d70-512c-4c80-950c-93ef7c2adb7a.svg
Well fuck. I was supposed to have an over the phone intake evaluation with a psych but for some reason the call didnt go through and they went straight to voicemail. So now I gotta wait another week.
Fuck T-mobile.
^^ good luck !
Love my entire setup, can't drive to locations for a psych, because i get there when it closes. And the ones I can do are booked entirely. fml.
I'm glad it went well!
One of these days I'll bite the bullet and talk to my mom/brother about it. Honestly I'm more worried about my older brother by this point, he seems very... homophobic, so leads me to believe he'd be transphobic too.
this is both kind of a venting and ranting post, but ugh.
my dad died yesterday and i'm going to have to go out in boy mode to the funeral bc my mom doesn't want any drama/fighting over you know, me existing
it's...really tiring being in a family that mostly debates if they want you dead or not, lol
Damn. Just, damn. Were you close to your dad?
Pretty close up until a couple years ago when his dementia hit the rock bottom to where he was getting violent outbursts.
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