Shit You'd Like To Confess V6: i don't actually eat as much ass as i say i do
986 replies, posted
confess your sins, people
I actually eat more ass than I say I do.
This is easily my most favorite thread on FP, possibly because it makes me feel giddy reading through all the (self posted) gossip
I've had sex but I haven't yet enjoyed sex
I'm mid 20 and still a virgin
I was a frontrunner for making fun of Iago's weird nipples, but the truth is
I have a weird nipple of my own.
My cat crawled under my covers and farted
it's all coming out now huh
i ordered another onahole
the usps guy came up to me and asked me to sign a package
Him "So uh who ordered this?"
Him "From Japan? What youd get from there?"
Me "Uhhh food"
Him "Heh, food huh?"
I'm pretty sure he knew what it was
I have a serious question and I'd like a serious answer to it
why own more than one, exactly?
I once saw a picture advertising their onaholes were so discrete you could keep them out in the open with no suspicion.
Maybe they're using it for decorating?
Didn't he break it last thread?
The previous one I got for $12 including shipping
This one I bought for $50 including shipping
Higer quality onaholes are all the rage
I miss the Tudd arguments
I own an ICP t-shirt
How long until you graduate to the limbless body onaholes?
Maybe have it delivered to work, they won't be as likely to ask reception what the fuck it is.
I have no interest in eating ass.
I've owned a few over the years, and honestly, I don't find them very stimulating. It mostly comes down too looking at the inside texture and being like "Maybe this will feel good?" and then I end up using my hand anyway.
If raw sex is anything like a fleshlight/onahole, I think I'm going to be disappointed.
I listen to remixes of songs sometimes more than the originals D:
Deprive your dick of any attention for a week or so, especially no hands, then only use a fleshlight. It'll jump in joy for anything if you give it long enough. Your hand is too precise and stimulating for anything else to seem like much in comparison.
You're meant to microwave the pie before putting your dick in it you know.
My bedroom is in a second floor and well, all my neighbors live very close to each other and their windows all face directly to my desk, so when I'm using their computer, if the curtain is open they can see me directly.
My laptop's monitor died so I have to plug my PC to a large flatscreen that can be seen from the outside. This means that when I fap everyone can see me and the porn I'm looking, so I grabbed a large briefcase and a back t-shirt and built a barricade in one of my windows, so everytime I fap at night (usually like 5 or 6 times in a row), I have to build the barricade on my window so my neighbors can't see me fapping.
do you have curtains
that would be a lot easier
I have curtains but they can be seen through and if I have the lights turned off the screen makes light that can be seen from outside.
get yourself some thicker curtains fam
but to do this you need to rig up an onahole so you can fuck it without using your hands, as you're gonna need those to t-pose while you do it so they can see you mean business
Sometimes I honestly feel like I'll never amount to anything in my entire life and that I'll always be alone.
Long ago, when I was having issues with dandruff (which was caused by my shampoo in the end), I once tried to solve it with a vacuum cleaner to the scalp.
It didn't work
I have a hard time motivating myself to do anything but sit in front of my computer screen.
that's not the first time i've heard people try that
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