Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS.
999 replies, posted
Welcome to the Social Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread (v10)!
Do you have problems with your friends? Do you need help asking that girl out? General advice? Chat? Ask us here! We have a plethora of users with loads life experience, ready to help you out, right now!
Little tip for those giving advice - be nice, be tactful, and be honest. Think before you post and if you're not 100% sure if you're right, don't post. There's nothing worse than the feeling of knowing that you fucked someone's situation up by giving the wrong advice. It also helps if you watch the 2005 film "Hitch" starring Will Smith, as it's essentially the love advice handbook. (I disagree but this was in the last OP so whatever) (Don't actually use Hitch as a guide, please for the love of God)
For those receiving advice - Don't be afraid to ask questions, but be receptive, be polite and don't complain if you hear something you don't want to hear. Half the advice given in this thread will be of the sort that the receiver will not be pleased about. Sometimes it is hard to hear the truth.
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I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING OF HIGH SCHOOL STOP YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL STOP I ESPECIALLY LIKED THAT ONE TIME WE TALKED FOR HALF A MINUTE AFTER MANDATORY GROUP WORK STOP I REALLY LOVE YOU PLEASE CAN WE BE TOGETHER STOP I WILL DO ANYTHING STOP
read at 3:17 stop
Following an argument with my prick of a landlord, I'm moving out this weekend right in the middle of assignment month
On the other hand, I have a second date this weekend, too.
I don't know which is causing me more stress.
It's so weird to think about how long these threads have been still going. I haven't been on facepunch much in a while, especially since the move, but I started reading this and the sex+gf thread back when my bf and I started dating and he introduced me to the site. It's been 7 years at the end of this month, that's so fuckin' wild honestly.
it's been there since at least v7 i think
i was lazy and didn't feel like removing ig during my fast posting process
I was 99% ready to make thread on Monday.
But then canceled since I thought we're done with megathreads and we will use subforum - Social instead.
I am glad megathread will not cease to exist.
Well to follow up on my previous two posts
Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VIII
Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues a..
I just got off the phone with her after asking to talk on the phone and she told me that she was too afraid to say it the last time we were together before she left for work but she doesn't think it's a good idea for us to be dating now.
She wants to take the next two months to have more space for herself and work on being friends with me. she said she just doesnt love me in the same way anymore.
she wants to sit down and talk again when we get back to school but she doesn't think the way she feels is really going to change. im still at an absolute loss at how this even fucking happened I don't understand how she could just stop being interested in me.
I really don't know how I'm going to just be friends it's just going to kill me knowing I can't be with her when I'm around her when we go back. I know I'll have to get over her eventually but it's just so hard right now I'm still completely in love with her but there's nothing I can do.
And knowing myself I'm going to cling to that miniscule sliver of hope that she'll work through whatever issues she has with commitment and just not wanting to date hoping that she realizes she misses me and we get back together but I know that's just fucking pointless when she basically said she thinks this is it
I don't even know how I'm going to still talk to her whenever we do this summer before we go back now because she doesn't want to cut off taking occasionally
I'm a wreck and just completely confused and overwhelmed god this sucks
First of all, get a grip on what you think is best for yourself. If that is to cut all contact, do so - I don't think this is always the best solution, but don't be guilt-tripped into talking to her just because she wants to keep in touch if it means you're suffering.
And yeah, I get the "how could she even stop being interested in me" - I had a break up (GF of four years) last year, and well, there wasn't really any explanation beyond "I'm not in love with you anymore". Shit sucks massive dick, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still affected by it from time to time.
But don't let yourself be miserable - take this opportunity to spend more time with your friends, improve yourself, and move on. In time, you will find someone else.
So this may be an extremely silly situation but I've been asked out on an official date. Cool right? I'm fucking freaking out. It happens to be from someone who, if I do accept, might cause drama in the friend group. I know they've liked me for a while, but I don't know if we're romantically compatible.
I fear that I'm not ready though, and I'll needlessly hurt somebody who likes me (and is a great person) and cause uncomfortable feelings for more than just the two of us.
I'm panicking so much I'm in tears. I don't know what to do.
I am a big champion of serenity of mind first and foremost. Ever since I've been following this philosophy my life has improved
From what you said, my understanding is that this person asked you on a date, and this person may have gathered interest among other people in your circle, else you wouldn't be talking about drama
I guess you're afraid that their asking you out may cause your friends to think less of you, or envy and therefore shit on you behind your back
Since your current situation of stress and crying is not sustainable, you must choose what brings your conscience to an ease. Would you be okay with accepting whatever comes out of this situation and dealing with it for a chance to start something with this person? Are they worth it? Or would you rather keep things as they are, valuing "bros before hoes"?
Make the choice you won't regret. Or the one you would regret less. You must take care of your state of mind
It's less that other people in the circle have gathered interest, but that the reason I was introduced more into the group was because of a past relationship, and although that relationship is over I still remain in the group. I fear that this will start something.
I think you're right on the serenity of mind thing, and I think I have that I just doubt it sometimes because I'm very hesitate. Some of my friends seem to be encouraging this idea.
gonna tbh: it's kinda hard to provide any sort of opinion or ideas if you're just vagueposting about it
I see, well my point still remains: do you care about what they may think? Is your priority to stay with this group?
Whatever decision you make, as long as it stops upsetting you it's the right one
You're completely right, sorry. I think I'm just blindly reacting to the situation instead of sitting down and clarifying what I'm thinking.
I guess what I'm asking is: How do you know when you should accept a date when you don't know whether or not you're making up reasons not to go. And how do you know it's time to really time to try again? I think I'm afraid of hurting somebody's feelings if I end up not wanting to date them further and I'm paranoid that things will go wrong in a new relationship because I don't want to be hurt again.
Hopefully this is at least a little better.
you like person go date person
I got this poem from a girl who'd been very wishy-washy with me this whole semester (and led to a bit of headache). I had developed feelings for her and she wasn't ready to commit yet got extremely angry when I asked for a bit of distance to sort out my own feelings. We eventually took some space and we've tried to just stay marginal friends as we're in the same friend group but then this came out of the blue. I'll excerpt the interesting bits:
You are a memory I frequently revisit.
You are the past I yearn for and the future I hope for.
I'm sorry I've kept you here.
You don't belong with me.
You are a butterfly I shouldn't catch and cannot keep.
May your wings carry you to new places.
I'll miss you.
She sent me this in the middle of the night and I think its about me, though she's been vague with her intent in sending me this poem. I do leave this city permanently in a week and a half and she knows that, but man... whatever her intent was I feel so off now. Some of my other friends have said this seems to be manipulative and just an attempt to get a rise out of me, though I think its sincere. I guess I'm just wondering what peoples' thoughts were.
She sent that in the middle of the night and you only think it's about you?
Just a little random thing that happened just now.
I was running late for my bus, and I saw it there at my stop, waiting for me (i wasn't that late, only by a minute or so).
There are good people in the world still
Whether or not its about me or not doesn't matter; we haven't been on solo speaking terms for two months, I've done my best to distance myself after she went ballistic and attacked me for my depression, and now after all of a sudden, she sends a text to me that is a handwritten poem. Its confusing and I'm not sure to her intent, and yes I agree, its absolutely presumptuous to assume its me as it easily could be not but regardless, its a strange text.
Tbh if someone sent me a poem like that, I'd be really weirded out lol.
That's just me though maybe.
tbh I'm using dating websites but even when I get a match it just reinforces the feeling that I truly don't know what I want in a girl besides having certain physical characteristics I find attractive. Kinda saps any will of asking anyone out because I don't find anyone interesting at all so far.
I'm still banned from OkCupid lmao rip.
tbh you don't know what you want until you know what you want
it's silly, but that's what i found. i thought i was interested in someone who leaned more towards my career interests and less towards my hobby interests, but then someone fell into my lap that was the other way around and i realized i wanted them more
Yeah, ain't that the truth.
It's just difficult not to feel like I'm disingenuous when I'm thinking about asking people out.
How the hell does that happen?
What's so disingenuous about it? Asking someone out doesn't guarantee them that the two of you will work out.
I had a link to my art portfolio on there at the time and I assume that someone thought I was advertising or something and reported me.
Sucks but thems the breaks!
I guess now that I'm digging into it I feel like I don't have anything to offer to other people I'd be dating.
idk why but sex feels wierd to me
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