Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

Just got dumped by my fwb, and the girl I was seeing a few weeks back has ghosted me Feeling pretty low right now tbh

Let me help you out with that At least you have girls to go out with and talk

HEY GUYS HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE? BECAUSE I DON'T!

What is this, a travesty of a high school drama movie? Social life dictates social skill, reduced social skill might dictate cynical and redundant social behavior. Sir LikesAttentionAlot dictates devaluating behavior as a result of uncontainable frustration. Crowd agrees. Are there actual pragmatic ways of getting friends? Let's explore: Learning any friendship one have to be open to explore any and all social activities going on in one's living area. Choose activities most acquainted to and start practicing making conversation with strangers. Night-clubs, rave-parties, taking classes where one can meet women, random conversation at a bar, hitting on women in grocery stores (look it up, just don't hit on the cashier, that's like shitting where you are eating according to my experience). A very good one is taking dancing classes, that's how my grandparents met. Tai Chi, Yoga.

Man, you should really seek out a therapist.

Stop making this into a pity contest, dude. You just look sad rn.

Are you feeling ok?

Relapse, light bipolar mood swings. What can go wrong? Thank you for asking though.

https://incels.me/

Can't figure out if these people are serious, or if the website is just an elaborate parody

when in doubt, incels are always serious

wat

Guy I met on tinder and been talking to since yesterday is working at the food festival I'm going to tomorrow, we're both really nervous and I have no idea what to say. We've both been joking about how nervous we're both gonna feel seeing each other but oh man its gonna be fun actually doing the seeing part for real.

I'd argue that it is subjectively, as people always envy what they don't have

Maybe when you're done whining about your situation you can find some time looking for friends. I even presented you with a list of activities where one can find new friendship. It's cyclic behavior, you're addicted to something you're probably not even aware of. Don't worry, I'll fix it. You're cynical, obviously depressed, stuck on contemplating desires you feel that you can't fulfill. You hide behind words, perpetually justifying your own point of view. Social anxiety, difficulty moving on. Doesn't get along with current friends. Look, arguing is besides the point, the feeling of lacking something is depression, you know, the emptiness inside. Isolation. You need therapy, getting along with bad people can be as easy as having a "good person" attitude, and having few questionable friends during times of hardship is better than having none. You need something to lean on, someone to talk to, something to do that involves other people. Getting used to perspectives subjectivity is character development and if you're not used to hanging out with anyone it may take time to learn to understand the happy view on friendship. Someone to entertain, someone that entertains you in response, arousing eachothers philosophical senses and help with something, getting help with something that you find out you could have a desire for. These are skills that take time, but if you take the time to learn them, you have a whole new addiction to explore, friendship. Ever heard of a zero sum game? It's taking on the perspective of not winning the argument but finding enough points to make both have valid views. Just because you don't win doesn't mean you lose, it means both can be valid representations of reality.

in my experience this will lull you in a false sense of security that will come crashing down on you when they drop you like a hot potato because they only interested in you when things are dandy and not when the going gets tough.

That's social prejudice, renouncing a friendship has more to do with having enough already or, because of prejudice, over-generalisations, such as believing in flaws of character. Genuine friendship understands, do you feel me?

I agree, I guess I don't interpret "questionable friends" as being able to maintain a genuine friendship but maybe you didn't mean it that way.

You're right. I meant quasi-questionable.

I guess I'm just an not-at-all-questionable-or-bust kind of guy :v

Mudita!

gesundheit

Maybe when you're done trying to give out advice you can realize I was just making an observation with my last post And you have no right to say I am obviously depressed. I used to be and I got out of that shit on my own. You can suggest it but nothing more, and your attitude there pisses me off And perhaps if you knew my history you would know (I wrote it a hundred times over) that I do not feel emptiness inside or isolation, because whenever I am alone I am fucking a-okay. It's when I see pictures of people having fun without me, without telling me or asking me to come despite my wishes, my requests, and in spite of all the times I ask them to go out with me, that I get upset. And I believe that is normal In fact I'd argue that the real problem is that I am below my expectations. I understand there is no basis in reality for things like "I am not fucking like a rabbit like I should", but that's the general feeling sometimes That's true, but then again I can also tell right now, and sometimes right away, when I don't want something else if it's not for me. I guess I must be coming off as a green envy monster that craves everything I don't have ahahah, but fortunately it's not the case. I must be far more normal than I believe sometimes Depends what your needs are. I wouldn't (and in fact I don't) open up about my issues with them, because they couldn't give a rat's ass It's totally fine if you just go out for bevs though

True but the way I see it, it's the difference between an acquaintance and a friends. Just semantics, of course.

I'm sorry. Sincerely, for making you feel affected to the point of being pissed off, with my attitude. I used to have a really big problem phrasing things through this grand superiority persona that's usually fueled by bipolar mood swings. I didn't mean to evoke a negative feeling, it's just that I have been working with psycho-social analysis for the last 5 years trying to understand the mind as Buddhist. When I apply knowledge during an intoxicated state, excitement becomes hypomania and that is where I lose control over my mood. Normality is subject to expected behavior, and no one can accommodate for all expectations. Not getting invited to having fun with friends, I don't think I would get upset, though I'd be sad about it, for a while. A few years back at least, today, I don't think I would care. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but almost all your posts seem to be fueled by anger. You tell us that you get upset when left out by your friends. Frustration and anger are moods that are called affections on an euthymia scale and scores medium to high level elation. This usually indicates stress, and what do we do when we get stressed? We cling to any and all possibilities of relief, even seeking alone time. I remember back a few years when no one had invited me for Christmas, and after that I started to hate Christmas for a while, I convinced myself that it was just a pagan left over festivity that had to do with ancient egypt gathering plants indoors to protect against spirits, and the festival of saturnalia of ancient rome, along with nordic Yggdrasil inspiration for the tree. I became cynical, and cynical is not happy. It's more of a frustration of having giving up hope on the situation, almost an inability to trust social conventions. You feel okay alone because you have learned from unfortunate circumstances that people are stressful to the point of causing you to feel upset. High desire for something usually means you want to hide from some kind of pain inside you. Sexual relationships in my opinion are to be approached with true love, otherwise it becomes an addiction. A place to hide from inner pain. We want to resolve the pain not hide from it. You need to find someone that genuinely listens to you. Like I have done just now.

How do you tell someone to stop bragging about their tinder matches in a way that doesn't come off as jealousy? Honestly I'm not jealous and I don't really care about his tinder dates considering I'm pretty happy with my sex life as it is and am honestly not that interested in flings and such. It's just I know exactly what he's trying to do and it kind of annoys me that he's going out of his way to brag to me. I'm not sure what he expects me to say exactly when he tells me about this stuff, is he hoping I'll be all like "wow man you're such a ladies man, I can't believe how hot you are dude, I wish I was like you" or some shit? Because I'm not going to and so far I just ignore him every time he sends me this shit.

literally tell him to stop being such a douche like that's not really a polite or okay thing to be doing; it's basically the same as a guy bragging about all the girls he's banging. Not cool.

Then keep on doing it.

Or this, really sarcastically

Okay so they weren't there today cause someone else was given their position at the last second. Though they said they'll definitely be there tomorrow so looking forward to having no idea what to say then now.