Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

The adress is in a kinda seedy part of the city, too. Sounds like a trap, already got my phone stolen earlier this month so I'm not too keen on falling for another scheme. Snapchat's a good idea, won't move til she sends me a pic of herself doing a specific gang sign. And yeah I don't feel like meeting her in that street either. Was thinking of telling a friend about it and ask him to call the cops to that adress if I don't text him that I'm good or answer his calls. Is that overkill?

I don't think it would be overkill to ask your friend to do that. In fact, I would probably avoid being in a situation that would warrant that kind of security. The cops aren't going to be able to get there soon enough to undo getting mugged. Be smart. Don't walk into dangerous situations like this without some assurance that the person on the other end isn't trying to take advantage of you.

Right, I guess a woman wouldn't be OK with letting a complete stranger in without any assurance either, no matter how trustworthy I look. Having a drink to ensure I'm not a blatant creep seems like the bare minimum. One more red flag to add to the list, I suppose. I probably ought to stop thinking with my dick. Moving on, then. With some luck there should be reasonable, actual people among my 76 other matches. Kinda sucks that the only genuine person who offered me that kind of encounter so far just happened to leave France right after my weekend out of town. Gotta keep trying, I guess.

Update: I'm meeting her again today for an ice cream or a smoothie

>76 other matches Please share some game with the rest of us, lol. Longest convo I've had ln Tinder was with some girl who wanted me to cuff her (I have handcuffs at work) and after about ten kinky messages she ghosted me.

Should I ask for a girls number who works at the super market I use? We have a nice chat every time I'm there.. but not sure if it's because she likes giving excellent customer service or I'm a qt

One of my good friends does something like this literally all the time. People just come to his address, they fuck, and then they’re going home in the morning. Fishy things probably happen, but it could definitely also just be the real deal.

Well I wasn't always that lucky, I think my recent success mostly comes down to the quality of my pics and their subject matter, here it is for reference. Still WIP, I'm planning on adding a sportsy pic but it's kinda weird to ask passerbies to take a picture of me jogging... I think the description does play a role too, in that it gives matches something to talk about if they want to make the first move. "Looking for someone who can teach me how to does spaghetti. Or eat leftovers". It's dumb but I've had a few first messages referencing it so it does the job. For reference, I used to get around 2-5 matches a week and I now get 5-10 matches per day. Granted, I only started a week ago so I might still be riding the noob boost a bit. Regarding the kinky stuff, it goes without saying that you shouldn't do it with everybody. Personally for the time being I only bring it up to girls who have innuendos in their bio or overtly lewd pics. I've had my fair share of sexting with my exes so I'm used to it by now, intelligence seems to be a pretty attractive trait so being smart and tongue in cheek can go a long way. Don't forget it's text so you can do some research if you want your double entendres to pack some extra punch. https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/211575/52b2791a-d69c-4ee3-a0a4-cb8f58dbeb45/desc.png https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/211575/4d6706dc-bc1f-4cd5-a631-9819c8fcab2e/kinky.png For instance, that's the genuine girl I was referencing earlier. Since English isn't my native language I looked up some food-related innuendos on the internet as well as examples of traditional Aussie breakfasts. Gives it that extra cachet that makes a difference IMO.

I have a recurring problem in my life. So far it seems that it's not my fault that it keeps happening, but even still I'm struggling with how to deal with it properly. Last March, I was still in University, when I get a text from an old class friend saying she was coming into town and wanted to see me. She and another mutual friend in the same class were very good friends of mine but I hadn't had a chance to see them since they'd graduated a year ahead. I said sure, come on down and was really excited to see her. She rolls into town a few weeks later with two friends (one technically her bf, didn't know at the time) and we have a great time going out to eat then out to the bars. She mentions that next morning they were going to a local lake that I had never been to, and she invited me to go with them the next morning. Next morning comes around, the text never comes. She never specified a time but I was pretty sure she meant to get an early start so I end up texting her around 9:30. She responds like two hours later apologizing and saying that she forgot that she invited me. We end up seeing each other a few hours later for lunch but she leaves pretty soon after that. It kind of left a sour taste in my mouth. I don't like being forgotten, and it seemed weird that three people who I had just spent like 8 straight hours with all just so happened to forget me and never once said anything over the several hours they were out there, but I let it slide. Here's the most important part: A few months later, I'm living on the west coast having graduated, and she texts me saying she's coming through my city and wants to meet up, so I of course say yes. In the weeks before, I get really excited and am really looking forward to seeing her. She says she'll be in the area for a week so I start thinking of all the places I'm going to take her and her friends and all the fun we're going to have. I even go out of my way to see more of the city just so I'll be more prepared. And then the day comes, she lands at the airport and meets me at my place with her boyfriend, I show them around my apartment then go to a restaurant nearby . We all have a good time and everything but they're in a hurry to get out of town as they were staying an hour away at a friend's place. They say they'll be in town the next day and offer to meet up again and hit a few breweries. And yeah, the text never comes, again. I admit I totally had the option of texting first to remind her, but seeing how A. She was essentially on vacation with her boyfriend so I wanted to give them some space to enjoy themselves without worrying about me B. She had already forgotten me once, so I wanted to see if it would happen again. I feel that I was pretty justified in wanting her to make the first move. I feel that it's within my rights to expect people to actually do what they say they're going to do. I don't want to have to handhold and bug them to hang out with me. If they're my friends, I shouldn't have to. But yet it keeps happening. Similarly I had an arrangement with a co-worker I'm kind of interested in where she seemed super excited to go to this concert with me so I gave her my number and told her to hit me up the day of. Lo and behold, sf, but the day after, she apologizes and says she completely forgets. I feel like I make people a priority when all I am is an option to them. In both of these cases, I'm not even particularly mad at either of them. I don't think either of them are consciously trying to exclude me (it is a possibility, though) but their words don't match their actions. Either they're lying about forgetting to exclude me, or they are forgetting me, which means I'm not terribly important to them. I want to feel like I'm wanted for once. I want to be the person that gets called and asked to hang out, not the one who has to constantly pester friends to know what's happening. I am so goddamn sick of getting my expectations up then having them dashed to hell. It makes me feel like an idiot and a loser, and I know that's not the case. Advice would be appreciated, but really any response at all would be nice to hear at this point.

The character development in this thread is fascinating and really awesome. Good fucking shit dude.

I know people tend to downplay their achievements but this is laying it on a bit much, dude. There's probably no way this isn't gonna sound cynical or bordering on incel-bro but if there's such a thing as a noob boost on Tinder, I'd like a redo on mine.

If someone's paid to smile at you and unless they've literally said "hi, I want to fuck you" or "hi I want to go on a date with you", assume they're just being customer service friendly

That's actually a thing, though I don't really think it's at play here. New accounts get a boost the first few days so that they get some matches and don't quit early out of frustration. Same thing happens when you change location, tourists get a big boost because if it took days for them to get matches then they'd be away by the time they have people to talk to.

It still works. I accidentally deleted my tinder two weeks ago, remade it, and got more than usual matches for a day or two.

So I work with this woman. Her bosses’ boss is my Dad. We have very similar personalities, likes, hobbies, and goals. Last year I got a lot of pressure from my Dad, and some other people at work to ask her out because they thought we would be a great match(His secretary called her my future wife because she thought we were such a great match). I really wanted to but I was hesitant at first because I thought it would be weird since we’re co-workers, after enough time I did it anyways and asked her out. That was last summer, we went out once but then she went off to visit her family in Sweden and then I went back to college before she came back(Not really sure if she even considers this a date or just a hangout). She texts me while I’m at school and says that once I’m back in town we should hangout. I ask her out again at the start of the summer, she says yes initially. Then the day that we were supposed to go out she texts me and says that she thinks we should just hangout as friends, because she doesn’t want work to be weird. I pass because if we hangout that day it would have just seem super forced to me. Later in the summer we start talking more and more. I ask her to hangout and for the past like 5 weeks we’ve been hanging out each weekend. It basically seems like dates to me. We go out to dinner alone and would talk for hours. We went to the movies and dinner last week. The conversation is fluid all throughout the night, there’s never any awkward moments and we’re making each other laugh nonstop. We never kiss or do anything sexual but she does give me a hug whenever we depart. I know she doesn’t want any sort of relationship with co-workers. She’s voiced that quite a bit. But I’m leaving in the next couple weeks to go back for my final semester of college. Once I graduate I’m not sure if I’ll be able to land a job where I currently work so we might not be co-workers anymore. I really want to ask her out once last time once I leave, just for my own sanity. I feel like this is the last chance I have, because I may come back or I may not. I just really don’t know what to do.

if its the last chance you have invite her out and if it feels right have the confidence to go for the kiss. the worst that can happen is she doesnt reciprocate, but because you seem to know each other and she knows youre not a weirdo if that ends up being the case I imagine shel be very polite about the whole situation. you don't have much to lose imo and its these moments that youll regret if you dont take and also help you grow as a person

I mean yeah, I'm a whiner. I overthink everything and it's very likely I have the most normal life and I just don't see it (but actually as soon as I stay away from social media I am rejuvenated and very serene) I spent the last 4 nights partying with my mates, except on Sunday when I got lunch with the Egyptian lady. She's 28 (8 years older) and just moved here, so she doesn't really know anyone. Normally I wouldn't have bothered (8 years older is a big deal, and generally older girls aren't too interested in younger guys) but we got along pretty well The other nights there was this italo-japanese girl, 3 years younger, very nice and pretty, easygoing. So far I managed to speak a fair amount with her and we get along Tomorrow my mates and I go to Elba for 10 days of pure unfiltered fun

nope your dad is her direct reports direct report that's too much of a power balance to avoid making it not awkward

Alright, a nerdy vet student is coming over in one hour so we can cook a meal together and chat for a bit. Hope there won't be any issue. Randomly matched with a girl that went to the same uni as me, she seems cool. Seeing her tomorrow for a bite and some rock'n'roll dancing. Also came across a US tourist who expressed interest in "having a good time with my baguette". After a bit of flirting she offered we meet Saturday evening where she's staying (which is in an actual touristy spot this time and not cutthroat central). She said she'll give me the details once she comes back to her room later tonight. With some luck this should go somewhere.

My man swimming in dates.

Good luck man. Enjoy yourself with all of them! Seems like the stars are aligning for you.

Well, that one was boring beyond all expectations. Basically cooked by myself while she was sitting in a corner. Not very interesting conversation either. At least now I have a chocolate cake.

Did this and went from 1 match in one week to 7 in one night. Not bad.

Yeah. No 8 years feels like a lifetime for me already. I wouldn't even go beyond 4 now. And compared to the guys here I only consider 17yo still acceptable for a 20yo guy to flirt with, anything younger is just trouble

New method for meeting new people: "Accidently" DM them a meme Hopefully they like the meme Ask if y'all want to send each other memes If yes, you're in. Start talking about stuff and hopefully you'll hit it off.

Was cool, she's interesting and has nice conversation. Dancing was good, even though we were the most awful ones of the bunch. I'm not that physically attracted to her, though. She could be a nice friend, but she's going to study in Switzerland in September, sooo... She gave me her number, according to her regional code she's from North Carolina. We arranged it, she gave me the name of a bar across the street from her hotel, we're to meet at 9:30 pm. I'll bring wine and baguettes for later that night. So I guess that's legit. Or a really elaborate catfish. I have no idea how the fuck hookups work, let alone cross-cultural ones. What are we supposed to discuss at the bar? Just ask her stuff about herself, or should I be flirtatious and drop innuendos to get her in the mood? Should I act like the cliché charming Frenchman? How do I do the sexy times once we get to her room? Just like relationship sex? Making out -> Foreplay -> Sex?

Do whatever feels right, man. There's no secret to hooking up.

I love mature people regardless of their age, but if you're looking for a romantic partner age is a factor to consider I wouldn't have a problem with getting closer to this girl, if it happens I'm okay with it, but I wouldn't dismiss our different situations in life as just a number

Yes it is, dating someone that's 48 when you're 40 is a completely different case, you're both fully emotionally developed. Maturity and experience difference between a 20 to 28 year old is huge

28 year old: most likely established in their career 20 year old: still hasn't decided if they want to major in underwater basket weaving or business development