Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

I met another tourist yesterday. A Russian girl, this was her last day here. She likes the city a lot, and wants to move here one day. She said she wanted to practice her English, so I thought we'd just walk around the city and talk, maybe have a drink. Apparently she had been chatting with matches all week but I'm the first one she felt like meeting. Maybe I give off a trustworthy vibe. She seemed a bit shy and self-conscious, I think her parents might be putting some pressure on her in that regard, she went to "fat camp" in July even though her weight is normal. Her English was good, even if with an (adorable) accent, and she did know some French as well. She clumsily probed whether I had a girlfriend at one point. After walking around for a while, we sat at a bar and drunk a couple of cocktails. We ate a little, too. She seemed nervous, and kept twiddling her straw, so I took her hand to calm her down. Afterwards, I offered we go to my place to rest. She ended up putting some music on her phone, then we made out and had sex. I don't know why but her accent and whispers sent chills down my spine. We had to stop eventually because she got a call from her mother and had to go back to her hotel. But it was a 50 minutes walk, and so I gave her bus directions so that she could be there in 20 minutes. I didn't think of accompanying her, but I should've. We bid farewell at the bus stop, and I sent her a message asking her to tell me when she's home safe. 20 minutes later I get a message from her that says she was very scared and couldn't stop crying. Apparently, after she got off her bus, a man shadowed her and kept with her pace. At one point she started running and could hear him pursuing her. Thankfully she arrived to her hotel before it was too late. I should've stayed with her until she was home safe. She feels better now, and is back in Moscow. I don't know if it's because I only slept 2 hours last night but I found the music on Youtube and cried when listening to it. I don't know if I'm cut for it, maybe it's too intense, to get so intimate so fast with someone and never see them again after that. We keep in touch on WA, but I don't know if that's a good idea.

am starting to almost get bored of my relationship. Dating and flirting with other girls just sounds so much more exciting.

I was thinking about asking out a girl at work, everyone in the friend group is continuing to work there except her, who's leaving in a few weeks. I don't know if I should wait until she's gone to avoid any awkwardness at the lunches and casual group chat we're always using at work, regardless if she says yes or no. One reason for asking now is to be able to talk face to face, which I think is important since it's the first time I've proper asked anyone on a date. I don't know if it's silly to hope the other people in the friend group don't find out. Any advice?

The grass is always greener on the other side...

Ask her out. It won't get awkward

Am I the only one who looks at pictures of oneself and think "man, what an ugly bastard" no matter how good the picture actually is? I just updated my FB picture and cover for the first time in 5 years, and I'm close to getting hospitalised by how much I'm cringing. :v

I hate looking at myself most of the time. I've been getting better about it, at least in the mirror, but I'm still nowhere near where I'd want to be.

Hey guys. So I started working full time, 9 to 6, a few weeks ago and it's been really rough on my afternoons. I have a 40 minute commute on most days and that means most of my day is pretty much toast. I don't know where to meet people late into the evening and the only times I'm ever really free are the weekends. Any hot tips on meeting people with so much of my time already taken?

What the fuck man how do you handle mirrors? AKA the worlds greatest creation.

I kinda like myself in pictures but I more like myself in the mirror lol. I'll stop and look in every mirror as I walk past it. I'm kind of a narcissist tho

I was gonna go in for the kiss like some of you suggested, but as the night was coming to a close some homeless guy(who weirdly enough had the same last name as me) came up to us and started talking. He was pretty weird, for like 30 minutes straight he was saying how we were the perfect couple, we were made for each other, and blah blah blah. Then he kept asking her to see her phone and it was getting a little sketchy so I just got her in her car and out of there to be safe. Not really sure what to do now. I'm leaving to go to school this Saturday so we don't have time to hangout again. I also found out that I'll be coming back to work in December, no one else knows about this right now. I kind of want to send her a text saying something like "Hey, when I'm back in town since we wont be working together maybe you want to go out on an actual date?". I know i'd be lying and I know sending a text is lame, but at least I'd get an answer whether or not I should just move on.

God damn I hope you’re paid well.

I apologize in advance for the little wall of text, I just wanted to vent. It's been about a month since I broke up with my ex. Sometimes I feel strong, but other times I feel weak. Sometimes I feel like I have an opportunity to use this breakup to better myself and show everyone that I can do better without her. Other times I feel like the sole reason I was living my life was to be with her; but now the perspective of interacting with her has changed. She feels a whole lot more like a stranger or enemy than the person I used to say "I love you" to daily. I still feel strange about it and various memories keep popping up in my head from time to time of me and her, usually happy memories. Unfortunately, they happen to immediately be followed by memories of the events which started the chain reaction which culminated in breaking up with her. Usually, after such recalling such negative memories, my hate massively increases for the person she was interacting with with whom I have a problem. But her? She's a mixed bag, that one. Sometimes I feel sorry for her. Other times, I can't believe she did what she did. Then other times I'm glad we broke up. And, rarely, I wish I would have stayed with her. These sort of episodes are starting to wane off. I guess I still need time. At least I stopped crying so often. I really do miss the occasional hug, cuddle, and kiss, though... Hoping to keep improving, little by little.

I totally hate my appearance but I that gives me super high motivation to attend gym daily at 6:15 AM. I am pretty much Shrek, I was considering liposuction and plastic surgery at one point but then realized I rather achieve it through self-hate and effofort. I understand that surgeries wont last long and will probably cause more complications than results. I might go for cosmetic surgery to remove/mask scars on my eyebrow but to alter my weight-look: I will never do that.

It's weird for me, I generally like seeing myself in the mirror, but 9 times out of 10 I don't like seeing myself in pictures, at least when someone else takes them. Must have something to do with angles being different or something.

There is difference between seeing yourself in mirror 1:1 and being just on photos. Quite frankly: I hate seeing myself 1:1 - 100% of the time. But on some photos I look alright, I really believe being photogenic is a thing. I am quite photogenic from certain angle but I hate my looks because that's natural looks not being caught/staged for a photo.

Keep training. It will pay off, maybe not today or next month. But it will. When it does it will be because of you.

To start off, I think it was the right call to say goodbye at the bus (unless she would've wante dyou to know where the hotel was etc.) and there was no way for you to know that some freakozoid would end stalking her back. Don't beat yourself up too hard. Secondly, and I'll be honest here, you seem like a good guy. Maybe too good to hook up with tourists? From what I can tell you don't strike me as the one-deal type but more of someone who actually wants a serious and intimate relationship. If you feel like dating tourists is interesting but also somewhat emotionally exhausting I think you should start looking within your own city instead. Just some advice, I hope you have a good evening.

is it wrong to call an ex gf a slut when she cheat on you? I did that and i felt wrong for do that.

Yes, it is wrong to do that

i know i shouldnt dwell on the past but i had emotions that were flying everywhere and that was the first thing to popped up.

its still not acceptable to call someone a slut

It is not acceptable to call somebody a slut.

I worry too much about disappointing people who get close to me; even if at the beggining we hit it off just fine, I end up feeling that the more they know me, the less I have to talk about, and the more my presence is just tolerated rather than welcome. And I shouldn't need constant assurance of me being appreciated. A bad experience 10 years ago, and another bad experience 5 years ago shouldn't really piss over my current parade.

Unless she's Satan in person there is zero reason to call someone names. I'm assuming you're and adult person. Act like one. Did she lie? Yes. Did she hurt you? Yes. Does that give you the right start calling names like its high school? No, you act bigger.

I mean honestly, if it's cathartic to him and he's only saying it to his BFF or to himself when he's alone in bed at night, who cares.

It sounded like he said it to her face.

Oh, fair enough - honestly I waited so long with replying to this discussion because the context really wasn't clear. Yeah, don't do that again. Personally I'd say it'd be much worse if it was something he spread in his/her social circle, though. Not everyone handles news like that well, and honestly calling him a high school kid because he doesn't react with a stone face is a bit much imo. Don't be surprised if people don't react well to you cheating. People sometimes get angry, after all, and they say stuff they don't necessarily mean. In the end, just do better next time, and don't say stuff like that - there's no reason to mull over it too much. It's water under the bridge, and I'm sure she'll be fine.

When you're lit up with many emotions, you sometimes forget your values and let anger take the wheel. We know it's not good, and we often know what is happening, but for a few seconds you forget how it could impact something or someone. I find in these events, it's important to sit down and think about what you've said/done then make a note of either not doing it again or approaching things in a different manner.

Of course, but I'm still going to think you're being a baby. I mean if someone cheated on me I'd be furious and hurt so don't get me wrong, but I know it's better to keep my head high and walk away instead of lowering myself to that persons level and start calling them names. It has nothing to do with macho-attitude or "being a man", but rather that if a person cheats on you they have not only demonatrated that they're false but that they're not worth an ounce of your attention. Instead of giving them that victory by lashing back, deny them. You're angry? Run as far as your legs can carry and back. Go into the woods or a basement and scream. Go to the gym and beat the shit out or a sack of sand. Speak to someone you trust. Can't do any of this? It's okay, you're just Human. I won't judge. Just keep in mind that actions have consequences.