Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

I think we made our poion Peterson, lets move on

I've been on a spree of listening to Alex Jones so I accomplish the things that will make my life meaningful. Ive been thinking a lot recently about 9/11 and aliens

I met a Brit at a pub event that pairs French and English speakers so that they can improve their proficiency. She added me on Facebook a week later and we chatted, after a little while I asked her out and we set up a date for yesterday evening. It was really enjoyable for both of us, I felt great. We set out to do a second one this Saturday, she was supposed to confirm it tonight. But instead she sent me a message about not wanting any relationship with anybody after all, neither serious nor casual, because her recent breakup was too fresh. I can't help but feel letdown, I'm concerned that it's actually because of inadequacies on my part and she's just being polite. The whole "it's not you it's me" spiel.

wow this went a lot better than and then significantly fucking worse than I ever would have imagined. I was fine and spent a significant amount of time with her today alone and when talking with everyone else but after she left (and after we drank a decent amount mind you) I absolutely lost it in the worst breakdown I've probably ever had I think. Fuck this seriously I just wish I didnt have to feel so strongly still

Update on some of my 'pals'; recently one of them wanted to confirm to me that she/they can borrow for free the house near a convention that I personally won't be going for the convention coming SOON I may add. Keeping this short I told them no, she should have told us sooner, and you aught to take it up with my parents as I'm just a messenger and I don't run the joint. Initially she was mad and I gave her the number to my folks and talk this out. Without making ourselves assholes we all talked it out, made an oath to always contact the higher ups of one of them wants to use the house or anything, but they are under watch, they can't cook, and all they can do is shower and sleep while keeping the place tidy. I want to give them the whole "fuck you give me respect," but in the end it'd paint me as some sort of needy person with a bad mouth to the people who DO care about me as I wager the big guns are the sort of people to run their mouths about exes and bad friends to their other colleagues.

She Fucking doubled crossed me! I gave her respect and spat in my face! Fuck them! Fuck this! I'm done treating them!

or you could just stop associating with them you're already putting pals in air quotes

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular but I'm surprised at the extent of the abuse that a few you guys need to receive before realizing how toxic/sociopathic some of your friends are. Is it as sense of loyalty? Stockholm syndrome?

Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to shake things up, it's just kind of how it works.

Not everyone gets to choose who their friends are, sometimes you just have to deal with the hand you're dealt.

If you're forced to see them everyday (school/office) it's better to keep some sort of friendship, it makes it more bearable

I kinda get it if you're stuck seeing people at work or something but it literally makes zero sense otherwise. It's literally better to have no friends then shitty friends.

In my situation the problem was hard to notice from the start. It's like "Okay life dealt us some shitty hands and we can fuck up so lets learn from it". Then it gets noticeable when we are wayy past a point of letting it go (even if apologies were in order) the system stays and it becomes "Okay we did mess up and we thought we agreed that we improved but no I'm still in the shit zone apparently so wth?" My poor friend is getting this too and he's only talked to me and another about it. Right now I'm getting my shit together and giving the best possible "Fuck you I'm gone" response without burning bridges on both ends to said two good friends in the circle. It's bullying in the sociological way of doing it. Oh and the shitheads I text to ask what I did, only ONE out of the four 'flag supporters' texts back about it. One dude who is cool just kind of rolls with it. Why bother if they won't even respond?

Had a v nice birthday today. Went to a waterpark, had dinner at a Japanese restaurant with my fam with minimal drama and some good vibes. It was very nice and I'm happy about it. I'm sort of finally getting around to where I'm happy with my life. My last step is to just get my finances together and move out of my parents house but I'm hoping to do that before Christmas. Here's hoping!

so it turns out my dick wasn’t working for basically my entire life, I’m going thru physical therapy now and I’m starting to notice huge changes in myself, basically like going through puberty but 10 years too late id use to only last like 20 seconds in bed, and there was a point where I thought I was transgender or some shit and got hella depressed. It was basically like half my brain was turned off and now it’s slowly turning back on anyway I moved to a huge city and I’m starting to notice all of these attractive girls I wanna date and also put my wiener in, but I don’t know how to navigate that shit. Like how can I find out if any of these girls are interested in me too and approaching them without making them uncomfortable? yea

potentially unpopular opinion: unless you're channing tatum, don't approach women on public transit

Went to a amusement park with the good people I know not part of the creepy circle and two of that circle that are actually good. Was a great day and hopefully I can have more happy days like that again. I also found the grave of a former fellow student from ways back for the first time. We hardly chatted before, but the reason for her passing due is terrible and it feels awful having to revisit the news broadcast of her passing.

Art museums (especially Renaissance period) are amazing to meet cute, smart girls. 95 to 5 girl to guy ratio.

cool that means i should do it, channing tatum isn’t even that good looking

Act natural. Be polite. Think through what you want to say before approaching. Accept the possibility of getting a 'no' or 'not interested'. Don't act like some thirsty motherfucker who thinks he's Hercules. If a girl appears to be interested, don't get too pushy.

I'd suggest you get used to approaching strangers in general before you start specifically seeking partners like this. Start by learning people's behaviour when you pass by them in the street. It can vary depending on the culture or even type of neighborhood. Over here, people typically acknowledge each other through quick eye contact and then divert their gaze until you pass each other. That's civil distance, it means your presence is accepted but a discussion is probably not welcome bar specific circumstances. Deviations from the norm can be useful indicators. If someone maintains eye contact or smiles, they're more likely to be open to conversation. If they give you a cold stare or change sidewalk, you're probably creeping them out. Next step is "warming up", try and say hello to people as you pass by them. It's not meant to be the start of a conversation or anything, but rather a way for you to get used to the idea. Also, people sometimes appreciate it (if you do it genuinely and without creepy undertones). I don't think public transportation or the street is the best venue the first times you try talking to people, especially if you're still not quite set on what indicates that someone wants nothing to do with you. PT in particular can make people feel trapped with you until they reach their destination, so it can be particularly uncomfortable for them. I'd say a better place would be somewhere people specifically go to chill, like a public park. There, you can start behaving more openly because bystanders aren't actively going somewhere or busy. Try and find someone who seems open to conversation (I find that old people are often more friendly with that sort of thing, so it can be a good start). Starting conversations can be tricky. Just going "Hi, what's your name" can feel weird. A good technique is "triangulation": You find a common point of interest, nearby event, or something they're doing and comment on it. If someone's playing an instrument, compliment their music. Make a funny comment on a nearby landmark, or on something weird that just happened. That sort of thing will seem pretty hard at first but you'll get used to it as you practice. Once you're way more comfortable with doing this, approaching girls will be much easier, you'll just have to proceed the same way. You'll also own up to it, rather than feel uneasy about it, and confidence can be pretty attractive. When it comes to seeking partners though I feel it's probably better to do it in a festive context, since you're more likely to come across girls with the same goal there. Just plan a night out at a concert or party with some of your friends, say you'll meet there, and arrive about an hour early. Once you're there, approach a group in a venue, or people who are alone waiting for their friends/waiting at the bar. Enjoy yourself, switch groups if it becomes too awkward. If you find someone you think is interested in you you can have a one on one conversation and go from there. If you really fuck things up and somehow manage to come across as a weirdo to everyone there, you still have your friends to enjoy your night out with, so it shouldn't be a big deal. Chances are you'll experience extreme cringe every now and then, but that's the price to pay when you get out of your comfort zone. It's still worth it IMO.

Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend I haven't seen in a few weeks. Last time we hung out we had ended a FWB situation. I thought I'd be able to handle being a short term FWB without getting attached/hurt, but I was wrong and I got my feelings hurt. She still wants to be friends, and I do to, but I don't want to talk to her about our individual dating lives - I don't know how I'll feel if she tells me about another man she's seeing. Will I come across as immature or petty if I tell her I don't want her to talk to me about other men? Of course, to keep things equal I wouldn't talk to her about women I'm talking to.

I don't think so. That sort of thing happen often, I'm sure she'll understand.

Am I the only one who thinks fwb is a big lie. Id be willing to bet in majority of them one of the individuals is attached emotionally whether it be in the open or not. Thats just my point of view tho Also Axel that is some of the best advice Ive seen posted here, well done. Side note, my girlfriend is not talking to me at the moment because I called her a name she hates and also mentioned PMS. Probably not the smartest thing Ive done

agreed. if you like someone enough to fuck em and chill with em then good luck not becoming emotionally attached to one another

I've managed a successful fwb for a couple of years now. It's possible if you're both adults.

She told me she no longer loves me. After almost 2 years it is over. I regret everything.

Yeah I guess it can work sometimes, but who really knows what's going on in the other persons head? Id say it would be a definite minority of fwb that work as intended, but I would be dumb to say they dont exist.

You, if you can talk about it sensibly....

What are peoples' opinions on the Myers-Briggs personality tests? Took one recently and was surprised at how scarily accurate it was...