Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

literally this. we're not in the 18th century

Some girl invited me to see her this evening, she said that "sometimes there's no need for discussion to loosen one's tongue" and that I should rest my muscles because "they might see some use". What did she mean by this?

She's gonna suck your dick, my man.

Fuck, I was hoping for a tongue-twister and situps contest...

Can't always get what you want.

Hey all. I keep getting attached to quickly to basically any girl that shows me remotely any attention and if they turn out not to be interested, it just plunges me in weeks of feeling shit. I'm not high maintenance or spanning messages or anything like that. Just feeling pretty low tbh. Could use some advice from anywya

honestly you just gotta not, i know it's hard but that's the only thing you can do

Heyo I was wondering if I can get some help ending a Friendship with a Girl I have feelings for. Backstory, we've been friends for a few years now and we are pretty close, only in the last 10 months have I developed feelings for her and she doesn't have them back which is fine. What isn't fine is the pain I get from being around her, knowing that I will never be her partner and what not. I've tried to get over her but so far it hasn't worked.

Reminds me of a similar situation. The only way to ease the pain, is to rip the bandaid off, go through the pain, never see her again. Tell her how you feel first, and if she still want to be friends. To you, that's unacceptable, so you tell her it's unfair and that you can't be friends with her. It won't go over. Unless you shut her out of your life completely. Trust me, you have no idea how selfish she is being. Don't put your love life on hold for this girl.

uh dude she's not being selfish not reciprocating interest is not a selfish move whatsoever please don't think like that that's how the road to incels starts

Sorry, I got caught up in some bad feelings from bad memories.

Yeah I wouldn't offer advice like that if you're still struggling with your own perception of unrequited feelings.

Intensity comes from fear, I'm still trying to figure it out. I could just ask here: We met at the hospital, she moves in with me, tells me she loves me, then suddenly moves out, tells me we can't be anything else but friends, she took 1000 worth of dollars, brings some guy with her when invited over. I couldn't take anymore and broke off all contact 6 months ago. Too much pain.. why did she tell me she loves me, and then not, and then at another point again? Pain.

Played you for money, sounds like. Doesn't seem like she loved you at all. Just knew that you had things worth stealing. How long did you know each other before she moved in? Were you actually dating?

Weeks...

Yeah that wasn't your smartest move, fam. Should at least have several months or years of a relationship with someone - platonic, romantic, whatever - before asking them to move in unless you're looking for a temporary college roommate or something.

now forgive me for being blunt but was it the hospital or the hospital (read mental health facility) if it's a hospital then you should trust literally nothing anyone says there because they're not in the right mental state

Just want to say to anyone reading: don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. You will get burned, yeah (I’ve been called ugly, someone once even said that “I look like a lesbian” - I’m a straight male lmao) but one day things will pay out. you just gotta persevere.

It's hard to give advice in situations like this because everyone is different, but personally I'd continue being friends with her. Sure, right now it might hurt you some, but good friends don't just grow on trees, and at some point you're gonna get over it and find someone else. Your mileage might vary, though.

Yeah you're right man. I just need to chill a bit when it comes to that stuff and not let my feelings take over me. I'll do my best to apply that from now on

I highly doubt I'll get over her. I still haven't gotten over my first Crush from 6 years ago, the same Crush who is extremely different and not the girl I feel in Love with, the same Crush who used me.

I start talking with a psychiatrist about my past. It's very difficult to stop myself from breaking down into tears when I leave. How am I meant to smile and be happy after talking about what happened.

Are you getting therapy? If not, are you considering it? If not, why? If you can't get over a crush from 6 years ago, you've got some SERIOUS attachment issues. Keep on living like this and it's gonna end either badly or VERY badly.

I'm not attached to her, I just get sad whenever I think of her. Of what happened between us, and and how different she was. Clearly I am over her enough to develop feelings for another Girl, and not feel bad about it.

Hey so i was wondering if i could get some advice/i guess make sure i’m handling all of it fine. Last december was crushing since my SO cheated on me with a roommate, this made me really depressed and for about the following 5 months i just was in a slump, as of the last 2 months I have been building my confidence back and feeling better, even meet someone new this month i really click with, but with some feelings still stirring i decided “fuck it! I’m on email the ex to just get everything off my chest and just say how i feel.” Not expecting a real response i put a tracker on the email, nothing crazy, just a simple “they opened it at 2pm, etc etc.” no ip’s or anything. So for the 3 days after i sent it, it said she opened it 5 times. Which at the moment just made me feel atleast glad that, yeah they read it, said my part. Actually helped mentally even if i never heard from them back! on the 4th day i got a response, but it was so hostile and aggressive! At first it threw me for a loop, so i asked a mutual friend of ours if the email seem’d odd.. she felt that my ex didn’t write it but the new guy did. Now i haven’t responded, but it’s been about a month and 2 weeks since i sent it and some days it alerts me the first message has been opened several times, and then quite for a day or two then more opens.. sorry for all this rambling, but all in all this has put me in a mixed state, cause the words pf the email say one thing and don’t ring 100% like her writing, and seeing the notifications also just makes me wonder... it makes me scared cause i’m a idiot and in some ways would want her back or to atleast be a supportive friend if she needed to talk (she has had a issues growing up, foster homes and trust issues) but at the same time i’m trying to build a new relationship, and something in my gut says my ex is gonna try to reach out then, and i really really don’t wanna be in that spot... i dunno am i just thinking too much about it?? Sorry for the rambling, its rare i express my feeling about this situation..

Turn off the tracker if you can, it’s not gonna help you. Withiut having seen the words in that email, I’m gonna assume the words you were getting off your chest weren’t very pretty, and that’s why she responded in a hostile manner. Or maybe she’s just a complete bitch, what can I know. Either way, you need to close that one out - if you think you might’ve been unjustifiably rude to her, and you feel bad because if it, contact her to say that maybe you weren’t in the right state of mind (but be brief). If you don’t feel there’s any reason for her to be hostile and aggressive, just don’t contact her again. But whatever you do, turn off that tracker. It’s not healthy for you to constantly wonder what might’ve been and stuff.

Actually heres the email (with names blanked) “I just wanted to check in, i don’t even know if you use this email anymore, but i wanted to say hi and check in. If you ever want to i’d be happy to talk or hang out, you know how to reach me,I am living with _____ and ______ (they still care about you as well).I Still care about you deeply, and I know that there has been a lot of internal struggles and issues in your life, and i don’t want to be a hero who fixes you. i just want to be a rock in your life if you ever need it. I feel like a lot of people let you down through out your life, and honestly you let me down by doing all of this, but i honestly think it was out of fear and not hate. I knew from the start that it’d be hard to love you since its up to you if you wanted to make it work, and i know i made mistakes which i regret. When we were together i would have dreams that felt like several years forward. Sometimes you were transitioned F to M, sometimes we had kids, sometimes not, but you always had a smile. I felt like nothing could keep us down in life, and if i can be someone in your life that can make you smile at least once a day that’d be enough for my heart. Love you tons ____, i just needed you to know how i truly felt. Your friend. -_____” so that sorta why the negative response was shocking, and i’m sure it makes clear how i feel... although you’re right, i’ve Disabled the tracking now. Since seeing she keeps re-reading the email doesn’t matter till she decides to actually reach out or not.. i also sent this email before meeting the new person, but thank you for the advice! Tracker is off and just gonna try not to think about it too much, unless it comes up again

You're being a total beta cuck dude, you don't love her she cheated on you, and she sure as fuck doesn't love you because if she did she would still be with you. Pull your shit together and move on, it's literally the ONLY thing left for you to do and you know it.

you expected closure, yes? the feeling that your message finally got through, with a tracker to boot so you can know it was definitely read? but what did you get instead? only more conflict and more questions, over a relationship that, as i understand, is already over. do you really need to be a "rock in her life"? if you think you've got history that justifies a "yes" answer, then weigh it carefully, because in my opinion you should forget this business and move on

also tbh if i were your current SO i'd be pretty upset with you writing this to an ex who cheated on you i can be someone in your life that can make you smile at least once a day that’d be enough for my heart.