Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

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Is it common for people to dislike cuddling while sleeping? This is the second girl I come across that does, even though she likes to hug otherwise.

Me and my girlfriend can't sleep while cuddling so we only do it for a short period just as we get in bed. Comfort has different tastes also.

I love cuddling while sleeping, biggest issue is sometimes it gets way too hot to fall asleep though.

ive found it varies. I'm a fucking radiator though so only good for cuddling in the winter

what's that supposed to mean you are twenty-fucking-four? Anyways, about myself and my situation, I'm not sure what I should do. I am 9 months into a relationship right now, it's the longest I've ever been with a girl and we meet a lot, and we hang out a lot, and everything is super easy with her. There's little awkwardness ever. But I'm not sure how to feel about all of this.. The thing is, neither of us have had too many previous relationships. She's only ever been with one (sexually too), and I've only ever been with like 5 (sexually), and I'm not sure if we should have ever gone for this long? We've been together for a really long time, because we've just sort of let time roll by. I like her, but I'm not sure if I love her, and I feel conflicted. We have a good amount of shared and not shared interests that support each other, and I suppose I could be with her forever, but I don't know if we are supposed to be together forever? I don't know what the fuck I am thinking. A part of me wants to experience more, notably in sex, but not necessarily with different people. We're both relatively inexperienced and she's basically willing to try everything I suggest and she's great in that way, patient and all that, but then I feel this pressure over me like I'm supposed do everything, from planning to action while she doesn't do anything. I want to be more, for her. Other times I just act and do things or try doing something new (which I like), sometimes successfully sometimes less so. What should I do? I wish she could do more, but either she doesn't want to or she's physically unable to. Another thing, about not willing to do more, is that she is slightly fat, but not by a large margin though. She looks great, we've gone out and attended a party, and I've said it to her because I mean it. I wouldn't be with her if she was any bigger, because I don't want to be with someone who is clearly bigger than me. I'm not fat-shaming, at least I hope I'm not. I've talked to her about this, but she flat-out said she doesn't want to do anything about it, said she's fine the way she is. I suggested that we could both start being physically more active (I'm thinn) both doing it together (like sexy time) and on our own, but she wasn't really interested, so now my plan has been to get her to smoke weed because it can also strangely help with weight, and last night it was really close that she would've smoked up. This may be just venting, but I think I need help or some insight. Maybe I'll just snip this post later and suppress my feelings until they implode. We'll see.

lmao, you're trying to get your gf to do drugs with you so you can control her weight when she has said she doesn't want to change her body that's fucked and not a good sign

Lol dude wtf

means I am 24 years old

you are a nutty motherfucker

You possibly couldn't mean me? Also I'm glad you guys could squeeze some humor out of my situation but it's not really funny. Maybe a little, I don't know if to cry or laugh myself. I don't know what to do, she likes me a hella ton and I like her too, but I'm also feeling pressured and stressed about performance, being good company to her, and generally doing everything to make her happy, but I am not happy myself, even though I guess should have all the reason in the world to be happy. Do I? Still working on that weed-angle though.

It's pretty crazy to try to get your GF to smoke weed in order for her to lose weight, especially if she's already said that she's completely comfortable with her size. Like, that's sorta fucked up, dude (and you should stop "working on it"). And "your situation"? What's the situation? Your GF doesn't come up with more experimental sex stuff (maybe she doesn't have the desire to?), and she's alright with the way she is physically? Like I can't tell if this part of your post is about anything other than sex: You "want to be more, for her", but what exactly does that entail? What do you want her to do? What do you guys usually do together (other than sex)? You're not sure you love her, you think she's on the verge of being too big for you, and you're not happy - maybe it's time to consider whether you even want to be in this or any relationship. The fact that you call 9 months "a really long time" kinda tells me you're kinda not ready for a relationship. I can recognise the "are we gonna be together forever?"-anxiety, but experience tells me it is unfounded. Breaking up is something people do, even after years of being together.

In my opinion, you shouldn't ever feel the need to force yourself to make her happy - it should just come naturally with your existence and being, essentially. I've been in a relationship for 6 years which ended a few months ago and now I realized how much I just.. wasn't myself. I was acting a different way around her than I did with my friends, my coworkers, my family etc. Even though it hurts to have broken up with her after such a long time together, really it's for the better. You either live the rest of your life in misery of not being yourself or you spend a couple years finding or developing a relationship with someone who likes you for you, not what you could be. The same goes for you.

The fuck am I reading Some lab-rat-style weird experiment shit.

Smoking weed is the worst way to lose weight. Get her on some meth dude.

i agree it's not funny, it's just wrong, stop trying to make your girlfriend uncomfortable about her appearance and pressuring her to do drugs

Hey that's my ex-gf you're talking about now. I did get to fondle a severed baby rat's head in my hand thanks to her showing me around in her lab, but this is not relevant here.

I swear if next title isn't "v. How do I get my fat girlfriend to smoke weed?" I will be highly disappoint.

Screw you my good man

What the fuck

https://youtu.be/tFMWGf65Rj8

Is there something with facepunch that attracts these odd people.

no, people are just fucking scary

I keep making my girlfriend upset every time I try and talk about the future. Right now I'm currently broke & back in the UK (we're long distance US/UK) and the plan is to try and move together within then next year. The only issue with that is: 1) I don't want a job, I'm fine working freelance for the meantime 2) The only way I can get a visa to be in either Canada or the US for more than 3 months is by working in an office 3) Office jobs make me depressed I like being at home, and I'm planning on moving in with friends at some point for a couple of months. She refuses to move to the UK or Europe, which I understand there's not many jobs out here. She keeps saying I should try and find a way and we're going to make it work but I really don't want to think about leaving the country again for a while, and when I do the only options are ones that negatively impact myself. Sure, living in California is great and an I can finally start on the school bus project I want to do, but that means sacrificing my freedom and forcing myself into the usual office grind that makes me depressed anyway.

What’s your occupation? And what’s her’s? And how long have you been together?

It's so weird to think about how long these threads have been still going. I haven't been on facepunch much in a while, especially since the move, but I started reading this and the sex+gf thread back when my bf and I started dating and he introduced me to the site. It's been 7 years at the end of this month, that's so fuckin' wild honestly.

Man, introducing a GF to this site is something I'd rather not do, seems like a risky move.

heck of a power move though

We've been together for two years and I do Games art and she does natural resource management

the fact of the matter is that the age of the freelancer when it comes to video games is gone freelancers are a pain in the ass from an accounting standpoint, healthcare, benefits if you seriously want to get anywhere, working directly for a company is really the only option now and frankly either shit or get off the pot.