Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

Please don't perpetrate the whole "alpha vs beta" bullshit, it's honestly the worst.

Sooo... She was actually referring to French kissing with that first one. Second one was about going further but that ended up getting compromised because of certain factors. We stayed together too late in the city, and because of the railroad strikes trains stopped earlier than I thought, leaving me stranded in Paris. She doesn't have an apartment of her own there and her mother is apparently strongly opposed to anybody outside of the family spending the night at her house, leaving that option out. Tried to call my friends living in the city but they were either out or didn't pick up. So I started going to various youth hostels to spend the night at. They were all at full capacity. At this point I had to choose between throwing away a hundred euros to sleep at some crappy hotel or stay awake all night outside and take the first train at 6 am. I picked the latter option. Not the brightest of ideas in retrospect. Wasn't too bad at first, up until 2 am lots of pubs were still open and there was some night life. But starting at 3 shit got kinda seedy, I saw a bout between a hooded teen and what seemed to be an American tourist because the latter spit on the former for some reason, several people made weird requests to me like asking for assistance to insert their coin into a parking meter (???), and after a while someone came in from behind, stole my phone and took off. I ended up getting home at 7 am with no phone nor any internet access, because I used my phone as a wifi hotspot. Meanwhile my friends were getting worried because they had no news and started calling hospitals to check whether I was taken in. My parents started freaking out as well, thinking I was dead or went missing. On top of that, since I used my phone as an alarm I woke up late and couldn't get to work before 10 am, at which point my friends and parents and friends had already called to ask whether I was there, causing them to freak out even more. Only then was I able to tell them what exactly happened. Welp. At least the kissing was good, I guess.

Glad you got home safe. Sorry about your phone. Quick question: Is Sex, Girlfriends and Shit thread gone for good? Has this thread just usurped the role and is now both threads?

No one has bothered to remake it yet. It was auto-locked because it was above the 1k post-limit afaik

Super Friendly Sex and Shit Relationship Advice

That sucks dude, insurance will cover the phone, though - right? I must admit that I’m kinda amused that you were actually puzzled as to what she was referring to; seemed pretty obvious that she was talking about kissing and sex, though I suppose usually people aren’t that explicit.

I'm projecting here, but if there's one thing I've noticed, is that guys can be completely oblivious to what should otherwise be obvious. A girl could ask me "wanna have sex?" and I'd probably still think to myself "I wonder what she meant with that."

I can't speak for every guy but in this day and age, you have to err on the side of caution.

So I gave Tinder another go, went 'thirsty' mode and just swiped right on everyone for a few days. Still nothing. 4 months of Bumble, nothing either. Yeah, I'm waving goodbye to dating apps at this point.

Post your profile so we can give advice Also consider try a month of paid membership, my success rate went from 1-2 a week to several matches a day.

Yeah, I don't get many matches either. Tried out a bunch of different profile texts and pictures but no apparent change in result. It's a pain compared to how easy it is to find guys (I'm bi) but I'm determined to complete "hard mode" for once. I ended up having my first and only tinder meetup almost two months ago and we're still seeing each other. It's strange really. I can't think of anything we have in common yet we're still enjoying each others company. We've had multiple sleepovers as well. She's spending some time at her parents right now but we're still chatting multiple times a day. My phone says she called me eight times yesterday so I have a sneaking suspicion she might like me

Nope, it was uninsured. Also, my bike was fucking stolen this week. I was (mostly) joking to be honest. Though I'd never had a girl I only met once casually suggest sex like this. I thought it might just be meaningless flirt, can never be too cautious.

Just last year I got my bike stolen and then my girlfriend broke up with me the same week. There’s a special place in hell for bike thieves, seriously fuck them.

Special place in hell for people that ride bikes :V

I had legit 20 matches per day when I was travelling in Ukraine. In Ireland I get 1 tops per day. I need to go back to Ukraine, get married and come back to Ireland.

Get your big ass dodge challenger off the road pls.

Tinder punishes you if you swipe right on everyone so you'll get less matches as it assumes you're a bot.

Eh, was worth a shot. Frankly, I only have one way to go and that's up.

Been hesitating to post my real issue here for a while, but I can't stand it anymore, so here it goes: Crush from 5 years ago is getting married. Going insane, not sure why (we havent talked for 5 years), she rejected me back then and I ended up - picking up drinking, cocaine and smoking. It's been 5 years, I've quit everything but drinking (just weekends, I still attend my job and don't really feel urge to drink on Week days). We stopped being friends under shitty circumstances (big conflict), from time to time I end up seeing her friends in shop - and whenever I am around - they are talking about her wedding (not sure on purpose or not). Need something to do for 3 days, shes getting married on Friday - I need to keep myself busy on Friday - Sunday preferably. My options so far are: 1) Sky dive. 2) Go to Bali (Expensive but I can do it but it will put me in quite a financial trouble) 3) Go to England and rent a sports car and travel UK visiting friends. 4) Just stay home ,get lots of alcohol and order a prostitute and just relax for day or two. Need some way to pass Friday and Sturday that will take my life by the edge and make it feel like experience of a life time. Any other ideas/tips? (Yes I know that's not a healthy mindset to be stuck in past but I am, I can't get over it, 5 years ago when our "friendship" fell apart I even tried killing myself but didnt suceed (Thank God)) Had dream last night: I saw her in front of my office, she complained only about her job and career and how bad it is, when conversation was over - she went for goodbye hub and I said - "No, dont". I woke up super happy and cheerful (I think mainly because she said her career is going shit)

These words do not go together.

I mean I can go, I can manage but I will be in dept to friends and family (When I come back)

If you're only option for coping is living a high, you've gotta find new ways of coping. And well, I don't wanna judge, but I ordering prostitutes doesn't exactly sound healthy. Have you done any therapy in the past? Am I correct in saying that you never actually dated this woman? What other relationships have you had since? Where are you in your life, what do your friends do, and what do you do together?

How about spending that money on therapy instead?

Yes we never were in relationship. Two years after we met - I told her I like her and she said lets just be friends, so I went nuts. Anyway - not long after that we had big conflict and we stopped talking (she wanted to stay friends but she kept telling me her bf issues, so I decided to rather cut contact completely than listen to that) Now I have good few friends, some of them know the story and everything that goes on but only one friend knows my true situation. Since then - I haven't dated anyone properly, mostly just one time hookups, still afraid same "friendzone shit" will happen and I will lose my mind again. My confidence fell 90% since then, now I am just 100% dedicated to my career. I generally just work superhard from Monday till Friday (working unpaid overtimes, delivering stuff I am not obligated, dedicating myself 100% to work and company) and on Fridays I go out with friends entire weekend then repeat same pattern.

Therapists are there to help you through issues like this and a good one will never pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. Also "Call her and tell her how you feel" is terrible advice that a therapist would never tell you to do.

Not gonna sugarcoat this: if you don't want therapy, then enjoy either dying young or living an empty life.

I was considering therapist and my friends (that know about the issue) did suggest it, but still it feels odd/weird going to someone and just telling them issues straight on, I have big anxiety about people judging me, and I feel like therapist would. That's really the main issue I have with therapists.

There's not really so much of a stigma around seeking mental health treatment anymore, especially among younger people. I have a handful of friends who are in therapy themselves. The people who would judge you for it probably aren't people who you would want to impress anyway. Anyway, it's not like you have to announce to the whole world that you're in therapy. Just go and don't tell people about it if it makes you feel more comfortable.

My closest friend offered me to come with me for first session if I want to, it steel feels like a big step though. Maybe I have a bad/stupid image of therapists from all the media (Where they tell you there is only one option or so, even though you're not comfortable with it)

Well, newsflash, therapy isn't gonna be comfortable.