Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v10 - Don't send any TELEGRAMS. - General

Me "Well, going to a dance club for the first time. I imagine its going to be a waste of my time." Befriends a drop dead hot Female bartender and a guy who's practically a fucking playboy with women. My Brain "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU PULL THIS OFF????!"

Second Night. Befriends the local DJ and he wants me to make logos for him. And also got a 40 year old model to hit on me. I swear to fuck if i just take a shot of whiskey, i'd just wake up in some orgy at this rate. Cause christ...

Teach me thy powers.

ay so apparently a friend of mine had a crush on me for at least a month or so I asked her out on a date and we've been making out and cuddling a bunch. having a girlfriend is very nice

Well now I know which God I need to worship.

Why is it you never get an answer to these kind of questions? Don't people realize it will hurt the person more that you don't tell, rather than just saying it?

Sometimes its fear of retaliation or something like that tbh

It's probably an answer she thinks he wouldn't want to hear, will most likely upset him even more. In any case it shouldn't get to him.

I had a panic attack towards the end of my work shift. Felt like pike pressing over my chest. I think I'm gonna abstain from coffee or alcohol for the next few weeks and start using Headspace again. Wasn't drinking much but I think with the medication I'm using it's just a good idea in general, especially since my physical for the army is coming up in December. What's frustrating about panic attacks in my case is I can't get used to them because they feel like something completely different every time.

I've decided to give up caffeine, no reason in particular I just want to see if I'm better off with or without it

Drink water whenever you feel tired. Helped me a lot.

surrender yourself to bloodshed and also an absurd amount of makeouts

Dunno of a good place to post this, but since I've talked about my illness in this thread I thought I'd share here. Wanna know how fucked health care is in America? Here's all of my insurance claims relating to my current illness: https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/58119/7d1dbb53-4f0a-4428-8a35-65721a107974/Capture.PNG I haven't even began actual treatment yet; all of this is preliminary testing. The only reason I'm not underwater in debt right now is because I have insurance, a good paying job, and family support to cover the rest. I've already had to shell out several thousand of my own cash on this. If I was any less fortunate of a person, I'd be completely fucked. You can bet your ass the next health care thread in PD that comes up, I'm pulling this out.

Has anyone ever experienced paranoia after drinking too much? I mentioned it in the UK thread, but basically I was at a pub crawl last night and having a good time. Been mostly hanging with a group of Aussies, a bit older than me. One in particular (Sam) was pretty friendly, we bought each other rounds, talked a lot, discussed on life advice and stuff. I was handling the alcohol fairly well until one of them gave us a round of Jaeger bombs that kinda fucked my shit up. At some point they mentioned they were looking for coke in Dublin, to which I replied I'd sit that out since I've managed to get bad trips on weed alone (they didn't find any anyway). Then we mingled for a bit, I met some new people, Sam started getting chatty with some blonde California chick, we went to the next pub and the Aussies went up to me to basically encourage me to try and bed her. So I start chatting with her and things start getting very hazy for me from that point on, the conversation goes astray and I find myself talking about how boring my field of study is, obviously not a very good way to sell yourself. Sam comes to me during a break and tries to wingman me a little bit, telling me how engineering is actually very interesting and why it gives you a skillset that's useful even in unrelated situations, and so on. So I go back in and there I was, at 2am, on my own in a foreign country, at a crowded, noisy pub, trying to deliver a fucking elevator pitch about my career, in English, while drunk off my ass, to an attractive girl I'm kinda intimidated by. I'm pretty sure I did pretty poorly but the way I was wording things must've been funny or something because I made her laugh. But I still didn't feel confident, not even sure I was in the mood for that sort of stuff, and was thinking I must be pretty pathetic at that point and that she was just doing it to be nice. That triggered some sort of panic attack and I just said "I'm sorry, I can't do this, Sam pushed me to but I don't feel capable right now" to her, or probably something a lot less cohesive than that. Sam came up to me and tried to calm me down, telling me it's no big deal after I said that I'm a dumbass and I jinxed it. Some brunette girl I talked to earlier then came and asked me for my FB out of the blue, then led me to the bar to order some more drinks. I didn't really feel like talking anymore, so I just kinda stood there, talking a little bit now and then. Sam then showed up and the brunette started talking to him about how she "did what she could" or something along those lines. Paranoia then kicked in and I started thinking she was talking about leading me away from the blonde and babysitting me because I was being creepy with her or annoying or whatever. So I asked them what was going on, whether I was being creepy, both girls said that they were actually talking about some other guys, that I was being very nice and that I shouldn't worry about that. I almost tore up for some reason. After a little while Sam came up to me and accused me of saying he was a cunt, out of nowhere. At this point I had no fucking idea what the fuck was going on so I repeatedly denied it, while the blonde defends me, saying I didn't do anything wrong. Sam insisted, calmly but with certitude in a way that I found increasingly fishy, and so paranoia then kicked in in full force, I start thinking they're all setting me up for something, that they're going to spike my drink and fucking rape me or rob me or scam me, I went straight for the bar to get water and sober up, told the bartender some people were trying to take advantage of me and he didn't give much of a shit, at which point I chalked it up as the bar staff being in on it as well, so I just pulled up my phone to call an Uber, which I did after drunkenly fighting against a dozen of Google's retarded captchas, all the while my heart started racing. I went straight to the exit and even after leaving the car I felt like I was being followed. Went fucking bonkers during the night, too, since I was convinced "they" would come to my hostel to fuck me up, to the point where I was afraid they were among the hostel guests entering the dormitory after me. During the night I even though that the nearby rail station announcer was some goddamn dirty police looking for me... So yeah, that shit is weird, I've never experienced that before. Then again I usually drink with friends present so maybe there's something about the more unsafe nature of doing that solo that kicks that aspect up to 11.

Just reconnected with an ex over phone completely on a whim and man is it good to know she doesn't hate me. I feel so much better

So I found the photo album my ex made for our one year anniversary, I was sitting on it for almost two months after the breakup deciding what I should do with it since I'll probably end up forgetting I have it but don't want it to cause troubles later by giving the next love interest the wrong idea. My ex seems to have moved on pretty easily and is in a new relationship so I decided not to bring it up with her. I got rid of the pictures but kept the case/binder, it would be a waste since I could reuse it at some point. Is this the healthy thing to do or should I have done something different?

I would've just binned/sold everything to avoid any reminder whatsoever, but that's just me.

like axel said bin it or sell it. no point keeping stuff from previous relationship around especially if it was a bad relationship

Been making new friends an reconnecting with other people since my group fallout. I cant think of a better situation to be in now. My friend thinks I didn't deserve that shit, my gay pal is super generous, and several of them can and have reassured me how much of a good person I am and how fun I am. I also met this super cute dork of a woman who I kind of share the same hobbies with. This part will sound dweebish, but she's also super badass and takes no shit from anyone. I had been wondering if I should ask her out, but one thing has kind of been nagging me; her age. She apparently mentioned being jealous of us being super adventurous for our age, and the oldest of us is 30 and one of my dear friends is 28. I'm 24 so I'm not too worried about dating an older woman, but I never got a chance to ask so I'm not super rude, but she never acts "old" if you catch my drift. Doesnt look old either so I never thought about it too much.

Well I mean, she bought me a suit for a wedding about half a year ago. I can't exactly bin that because its my only suit now and was quite expensive, even if she was the one who paid for it. I'll probably get rid of the book and frame though.

I met some French girl who was volunteering at my hostel yesterday. A short, pale, bright eyed brunette, just my type. She had a really adorable smile. We ended up talking for 6 hours straight, I helped her with some of her check-ins, she offered me wine and cheese. Turns out we had a lot in common. She was a "gifted" (hate this term) child, like me, and had to endure similar hardships as a result. She was homeschooled for a year, like I was, had issues with being an emotion sponge, and generally seems to have the same sensibilities as I do. It just felt like we were on the same wavelength. She was impressed by that, too, since I often brought up the exact same thing she was thinking about and had the same train of thought as she did. I just felt so comfortable being with her, I felt strong mutual interest and understanding. I never formed such a strong bond so fast before, no even with my ex. In fact, I hadn't managed to form as strong a connection as I had with my ex since the breakup. Unfortunately, I had to leave Belfast in the morning, and so we had to say goodbye eventually. She gave me her contact, and I idealistically offered to share a drink when she comes back to France, over six months from now... So we parted ways, kissed eachother goodbye, and promised each other to keep in touch. But since then, I've come to realize that she's one of those persons who's severely unengaging through texts... I write twice as much as she does and she doesn't even bother acknowledging half of the questions I ask her. I don't think I can stretch this out for 6+ months... It's totally unlike how she is in person and the fluid conversations we have. In a way, I'm glad to finally find out that my ex hasn't managed to make an empty, unfeeling shell out of me, and that I just need to meet the right person to move on to a healthy relationship. But I still feel bummed that such a person probably just got out of my reach. Kind of an emotional rollercoaster there...

Going on a Tinder date with a college freshman tomorrow, I've just graduated. That isn't weird, right? She seems super smart and mature so I'm hoping it'll go ok.

Fuck me. I met this super interesting girl a few months back, we hit it off and it all seemed pretty good Until yesterday, our first proper date, where her boyfriend invited himself over at the pub we were staying. I wasn't told she was with him Why must life keep kicking me in the dick. Why can't something ever go right

I deleted my tinder account and uninstalled it. I am throwing in the towel after a solid month of not getting anywhere interesting other than one match talking with me before ghosting. Good to read that most of you guys are doing well and others less fortunate: I hope things go well soon again.

Thanks for the kind words, but "soon" and "again" are well outside of my situation, as they've never gone well and won't for the foreseeable future I'm just tired of feeling like I have to fight against the entire world, especially since I can't fight my past that's made me who I am today. I'm only one man and I have a drought in luck worse than California

You can continue to vent, I'm not here to attack you or anything, but this defeatist attitude you have going on is not helping you at all. Is the world against you, or is it full of opportunities you have not yet explored? Before you tell me I don't understand you - I've spent 20 out of 21 years of my life without a partner, and I've often felt the way you do... But it really does sometimes take an unfair amount of time to find somebody. I'll be seeing a really nice gal I met on Tinder for the second time, and even though I find a lot of interesting and attractive about her, there's still a huge chance she doesn't want the same kind of relationship that I do. Why should I impose expectations and ruin a good relationship by wanting to be more than friends?

You're right, I just need some time to let myself go. I'll quote what I posted on another thread so you can somewhat better understand my thoughts on the matter I had no confidence years ago, at the time I was seriously depressed and suicidal. That was rock bottom, and I knew it couldn't get worse than that other than "dead", so I started reforging myself, and I had to do it alone because I had nobody. In the past year I made the most progress I ever have: school ended, I didn't have to meet the people that I grew to hate, I had a fresh start with university, I started working out, which improved my self esteem, I started attending Meetup events to meet people and break out of my shell. This is all that I did to improve, however every external signal I receive shoots me down: new people aren't interested in me. my "friends" (school and university) talk over me, never wait for me to finish my sentences, don't wait for me, don't care if I am not in the selfie they just took, don't ask for what I think, don't even chat me up for anything. If I don't say goodbye they sure wont, and they wont remember the next time. I'm always walking in front or behind them, anytime I try to stay in the middle they just move back in pushing me to the edges of the group. all the girls I was interested in either ghosted me or repeatedly turned me down in their subtle "turning down your offer, not saying sorry, not rescheduling, turning away now" way. No girl has ever been interested in me, said anything nice to me, or wanted me around for something, except one (my ex. She was the only chance I ever had at a relationship, so I took it, made the most of it). It's fucking hard to be confident when the outside world keeps uppercutting you. Yesterday was a particularly shitty day so I'm feeling quite down today, I'll pick myself up tomorrow. I just need some time to develop these negative feelings before I can move on

Note to self, dont call friend "auntie." I never had an issue with the unwritten rule of bringing up a womans age because 90% of the time they are super lax about. One time though someone made an offhand joke about it and one of my new female friends got SUPER PISSED. Do any of you guys had something like that, or is it an American generosity thing about not asking how old someone is?

I am certain you'd get more insight into why this happens if you try to step into an outside perspective. It's so easy to internalize all that is wrong without understanding what things look like to an observer. Maybe you just give people a certain impression. For example, I do have a lot of really good and close friends, but I spend a shitload of time alone and I feel like nobody ever invites me to go out. I can only blame myself for being so passive. Don't rely on your inside perspective too much, it is biased, especially if you have a knack for egoism.

There was a girl 5 years ago. We hanged out initially, all nice and cool. But then she stood between choice of me and other guy, she went with other guy. Okay fine, fast forward 3 years - I raise from poor students, get good job, rent my own place, get car etc.. She starts talking to me out of sudden (Ignored me 3 years and refused communication due to her bf) We meet up, hangout a bit, she says shes broken up with her bf. We get together for Christmas [Get retarded fucking idea] - Oh lets go to that party where your ex bf is [My agenda was to piss him off (drunk plans, i know right?)] Obviously ends badly, he gets pissed off punches me. I cut contact with her for 2 years. Fast forward 2 years - we start chatting again. She wants to come over with her friend (two girls). They were supposed to come over tomorrow - I asked her today randomly: "oh hey, you're not seeing that kid, are you? I cant be arsed dealing with jealous bullshit right now" She said: "You dont have to worry about it" As a result - I canceled all plans and planning to cut contact with her. She keeps throwing excuses like: "oh we're just meeting up as friends" etc.. I dont need this shit. My problem is - I feel like I basically come across like big wimp probably (Oh you're still seeing your bf who's 7 years younger than me? ok bye) I know it's a sensible thing to do to just quit it, but is there any logical reasoning to avoid feeling like a complete fucking pussy? P.S - He's a Chav/Knacker kind of kid who has nothing to lose. If he comes home with black eye - yea whatever, If I come to work with black eye - That may look suspicious I think I might just take this as a loss and go home (metaphorically) with whatever shame there is. /Rant/vent over.