Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V7 - General

How much does getting help cost in Australia? Like, if I were you and had the thoughts you're having right now, I think I'd go crazy just because I wouldn't be able to tell if it's normal or something that should be dealt with. Until I got my recent diagnosis it was all I could think about, "why is everything so difficult for me? why can't I just stand up and do the things I should be doing?". You say it doesn't really cause much problems for you but it seems like just the idea that there's something wrong is eating you up. Even if counseling doesn't change your life then maybe the peace of mind is enough to make it worth it? I'm sure you already know this too but a lot of these diagnoses has a lot of overlap. Good old anxiety can look like OCD, aspergers can look like OCD, ADHD can look like OCD and you get the point. like, idk, it looks like you're gonna have to find a way to accept this somehow and personally I think it'd be a lot more difficult to accept something you're not even sure you have. Maybe you'd second guess a diagnosis if you were to get one but it could also make it a bit easier to lower your shoulders and accept it for what it is once you get a name for it. Once you know a demons name you have power over it yada yada.

oh damn, I thought it was similar to Norway where it's already covered and all you pay is like 40$ a session. I can understand not wanting to drop hundreds of bucks into counseling when you're already not too bothered by it. Yeah I can understand that. I'm the same when it comes to certain things like anxiety and depression which is what has been bothering me for the past few years. it feels like a defeat in a way to rely on something external. though as cliche as I sound, there's nothing wrong with it and it doesn't make you weak which I assume you already know. hopefully you figure this out. Like with most kinds of anxieties, it's all about accepting that it's there and taking it from there

you know you're shit outta luck when your psychiatrist recommends that you get TMS because the medications you've been taking for depression haven't been working. for those who don't know, TMS is basically this procedure where for a month you go to a clinic and have them put a magnetic harness on your head, then stimulate your brain with magnetic waves or something to re-open pathways in your brain like 'being happy' and 'enjoying things' that have atrophied because of depression. i'm quite tempted to go, it sounds like one of my last options, but the fact that my fuckin psych tells me that i'm running out of options is disheartening to say the least. on top of that the social worker when I was at inpatient at the beginning of this month VERY HEAVILY HINTED that I should get electroconvulsive therapy, which is funny because I actually met someone at the inpatient who had ECT done to them THREE TIMES and they were still suicidal, to the point where one day during break time in the inpatient they purposefully burned themselves with a cigarette and had all their clothing and belongings taken away and had to sit around in a patient gown. so yeah i'm steadily running out of options and hope here

Nowadays, I feel more and more like I'm just a terrible and unlikeable person. Every interaction I've had with others inevitably ends with me saying and/or doing something that hurts/insults another person, leading to everyone else getting upset and me feeling horrible and unwilling to open my mouth again. Several times it's gotten to the point where I've just had to leave the conversation entirely, lest I sour things even more than I already have. I just keep failing to process what I'm about to say before I say it, getting ahead of myself, and/or trying to be 'funny' only to do the complete opposite. I've been confronted on numerous occasions by friends and newly-met people alike who have informed me in no uncertain that my behavior is making people offended and uncomfortable. It seems at this point like I should either just remain completely silent when with others, or just avoid other people entirely and isolate myself, lest I screw things up yet again. I feel terribly alone as a result, of course, but I just feel too reluctant and guilty to continue with social interaction. I can't bring myself to talk to those whom I already know, because most if not all of them have already had to deal with my screw-ups, and I don't want to inflict myself upon them even more than I already have. Reaching out to people I don't know feels impossible as well; either they already have their own cliques/friend groups, or I'm just too afraid to repeat what always happens.

Can someone here give me advice on how to get over being alone for the rest of my life. I'm done looking for advice and whatnot about how to talk to girls, get a gf l, etc. How can I accept not finding love because whenever i come across girls i find cute i feel obligated to talk to them and i feel like a failure when i dont. Or even worse, when i do talk to them i have nothing to talk about and i dont know what to say so the awkward convo goes dry FAST. I'm dying for a solution to this, i figure getting older will help but that wont be for a long time. It makes it even more painful considering girls more than typically are blatantly attracted to me. I wish girls didnt find me atractive physically, considering no girl would find me mentally attractive.

It's been a while guys, and for good reason I guess. My dad's on his last week or two of life and I've been the one taking care of him in this and it's been terrifying, stressful, and confusing. I'm never quite sure if I'm doing enough or even tackling things correctly. I feel like one day I've taken care of everything only to have something new come up, especially when it comes to logistics and finances. People seem to think I'm doing fine, but it gets exhausting, especially when I factor that I've never had the best relationship with this man. Add this with me having started a new career last week and moved into a new home earlier this month, which have made me feel pretty isolated. I'm not really able to connect well with my peers or the people in the area, since I come from a humanities background whereas most of the people are tech and uninterested in my hobbies. To top it off, I can feel my depression (which I am very cognizant of it being distinct from stress, anxiety, or grief) slowly clawing its way back into me, festering as a dark root that latches on to my own negative thoughts, like my lack of purpose, lack of movement towards my actual career goals, etc. I guess the TLDR is that I'm a mess right now.

I feel like I had a similar problem, but I solved it by realizing that if I wanted a gf so bad I would have had one by now. Same goes for having a social life really. I used to always think I was living wrong for not wanting to hang out with people after work/school, but now I've realized that, for me at least, the effort of seeing them most of the time isn't worth it for the enjoyment I gain. Like first I have to think of something that's more fun to do with friends in the first place, then I have to think of who to invite, then I have to plan a date and schedule, then I have to drive there, spend money, etc. I'm a human and I need social interaction to stay sane, but I get that at work already. So when it comes to wanting a gf, which is basically just a friend I want to fuck in my eyes, I just can't see myself going through all the effort. I'm probably socially retarded or something, but whatever. Also when I get horny I just jerk off.

I'm not sure on what you mean.

Keep trying until you success! I've heard that getting a job with public relationship or talking with people randomly will help you to work into those "Awkward" situations, well, like it requires you to pass lots of awkward situations to get out of that zone, like training your brain to say the correct Just don't try hard, be yourself, always smile, ask questions that people wants to reply, get amazed by stuff people expect to be amazed at like: -I bought a car -Wow, that's really cool! What car did you buy -Nissan x40, a gray one -<tell something about nissan you know, a friend getting one, a funny history about cars, etc> People loves to talk about themselves on the subjects they love to, even if you don't know that much, just keep interested, you might learn something and use it for later

I hate hearing people compliment my intellect, it feels so god damn patronizing and there's such a dark irony when if I was actually smart I wouldn't be where I am now. I've taken up studies again and it's the second day and I'm already ripping my hair out in frustration because my brain just isn't wired to do this shit.

I know that feel. As always we confuse "dreams" with "needs". Trust me I have always been average-looking and horrible on talking to girls and yet I got a girlfriend and after that, it wasn't really that much of what I expected. You have to either convince yourself you don't need a gf (because you don't) or break out of your confort zone and talk to a girl when she talks to you or when you feel like doing it. Don't feel bad for not doing it, it's stupid tp think you need someone when there is people that can live alone without a partner.

Is depression known to cause paralysis? Sometimes when I'm doing things like eating, watching or doing anything I just stop and can't move, not even my eyes sometimes. Feels like my head shrinks into a tiny ball and it takes minutes till I "wake up". I also got no motivation, to walk, sleep and even eat. Moving the pc mouse is making me tired.

My dad died around twenty-four hours ago, at 16:10 on September 25, 2018. I had called him into the ER and waited there as family arrived. Doctors told us he had twenty-four to forty-eight hours left, so we got a late lunch. When I got back, he'd passed. That, in itself, wasn't unexpected but my sister called at that moment and wanted to say final words. I couldn't tell her that she was late, so I just held the phone to his body and told her he wasn't aware of anything but he was still breathing and let her say some final words to him. I don't know if I'm grieving really; I'm not going through the prescribed steps, but I am taking the time to just think about it all.

Just deal with this day by day. I’m sorry to say it’s not going to get easier for a while, the grieving process for a parent takes a long time. I know first hand. I’m sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you

I'm pretty sure that's a legit thing. I came across this, it seems applicable: Catatonic Depression

I notified the authorities of my failure to do the course I'm studying. I also told my friend I was helping out during weekends I can't help him out anymore. I'm trying to think of something I can do, there's nothing long-term I can do so maybe I'll just come up with something and get out and have one final experience.

I hate being sad all the fucking time. Friends bring me out, try to cheer my up but I still don't feel so well and then I feel as if I wasted their time and now they have to put up with me. I just want to be on something, I want to be normal, I want to be happy, I want to die fuck

Give me one reason to go to the hospital

I honestly can't think of many people at all my own age who have a "real" hobby aside from maybe playing guitar or practicing yoga. Hobbies like painting and woodworking are basically a job in themselves, you do them mainly for the sake of honing perseverance, discipline and not being idle over a long period of time. As a generation we're used to defaulting to computer and video games because for the most part, they don't demand any of those. It's really not something worth beating yourself up over.

Had a movie night setup with friends. 3 said yes and then all of them either bailed or didn't bother showing up. It's the same shit with everyone, I'm expected to make time for people but no one will make time for me. I'm always the acceptable causality I guess. Combine this with depression and losing my cool in a leadership position in a game with other friends and futher alienating myself from people this is probably the worst weekend I've had in a while. I legit wish I wasn't alive.

I keep accidentally missing my medication. It just makes me feel so incredibly weird, like this feeling of dread hits me. I think of the past a lot. It's not healthy, it's stupid to let myself slip like this.

depression is weird thing for me

Handed in most of my assignments late, almost never went to class this term because I just felt like trash. Exam's in a week and although I can probably make it if I study hard enough, I'm not sure what I should even do afterward. Lost my will to live about a year ago and now I don't even want to want to live anymore. The few things that keep me going, usually just some dumb book or game I get attached to, are getting harder to find. All of my highschool "friends" forgot I existed the moment we graduated, my current friends either tell me to shut up because they're busy or don't initiate conversation with me. I've known for about five years now that I'd probably end up killing myself, and now it feels close. I don't even need to feel sad to give it serious consideration anymore. Everything just feels like shit sooner or later and I've got no one I can talk to about any of this.

Earlier today, I caught myself internally comparing myself to the toy maker from Blade Runner. The dude may be lonely, but at least he made a shit ton of neat (albeit somewhat unsettling) robots just walking around in his house, and it sounds like he's been working on them for years. Yet, here I am infrequently making digital art between days, weeks or months, and half the time with no real commitment other than the city map I made for Garry's Mod.

Dropped all my six meds in just one day, and it's been a week. I sense no withdrawal symptoms except for insomnia. Gonna stay this way for a few months and then decide if these antidepressants they've been giving me actually done shit. I still believe my depression got nothing to do with chemical imbalance that commonly occurs in depression. I believe it's my long term life experiences, very questionable morbid knowledge, terrible childhood, crazy philosophies that has formed me my entire life and become my natural state. I know people in depression disorders can not be fully rational (if anyone even can), but I'm trying to find the reasons for myself as objectively I can. Yes the antidepressants can supress certain few symptons to make it easier for me to find the therapy that helps, but first I must know if they actually do supress them; because the side effects of those antidepressants is causing a lot of issues for me, and I need my strenght to focus and work on myself. Also got a theory that it's my lifestyle, routines, isolation and the entire environment that could cause lots of my issues, I need to broaden down and pintpoint the effects to see what I can change to improve. My philosophies says there's no point of living or dying, happines nor sadness, but I am still biologically built to keep on going, so naturally that's the path I'm choosing, as long as I can. The last happiness I remembered was my friends in college, which was many years ago, so maybe it's social? Survival instinct tends to primarily draw its' attention to social patterns.

The healthiest thing I ever did was start working out and meditating on a routine basis and disrupting my unhealthy habits via those two things

How do I start not feeling like shit. Like what do I need to step back and look for to be happy.

My dad has become just horrifically depressed, literally does nothing but lay in bed, hasn't showered in weeks, nearly nonverbal even with immediate family members, dental issues so that he can't eat tough foods, refuses to see a doctor, I have never seen anyone on earth like this. It's an enormous strain on the immediate family as of late

Admitting to yourself that things aren't right is the first step. The next part can be more difficult because of a lack of an objective perspective which is why counselling/therapy can be so effective. What that entails is finding out where you're going wrong in life, so to speak. It could be pathologically thinking negatively, neglecting your health/hygiene, neglecting household chores, lack of friends/intimacy, too much stress, etc. The list is quite extensive but just know that these issues, however big they may appear, can be fixed with time, focus, and dedication. It's about forming new and healthy habits in your life, doing this takes time so try to be forgiving of yourself if things aren't going exactly as planned. You may feel that happiness is often fleeting (I know I sure do) but the same can be said about almost anything, including sadness. Fixing various aspects of our lives will hopefully make us have more positive experiences more frequently than the negative ones, I'd say that would be a good objective to keep in mind on the path to getting better with whatever it may be. So the three options I've come up with is... Therapy/counselling (very effective) Medication (moderately effective) Self-help (slightly effective) A combination of all three would be most effective, but not every aspect works for every person so do what works best for your circumstances. Oh yeah, and just talking with other people about the problems you face helps a lot too, at least it does for me.

I keep reading/listening to people who are successful. One of the things they say is that setbacks, failures, they're not bad. They're opportunities to learn, and grow. And jesus do I ever try and take that to heart because every setback, failure, or mis-step I have on my journey to where I want to go, and who I want to be feels like the end of the road. It feels that way every time, no matter how big or small the fuck up is, and it really drains my will power to remain disciplined and thoughtful about what I'm doing and who I am. the upside to it feeling that severe no matter the size of the failure is, getting back on the horse is always the same degree of shitty, and I've gotten used to that at least. I can reliably get back on the horse when I fall. My problem is, I wish it didn't feel like I'd failed myself so badly. I have the hardest time not being cruel to myself.