Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VIIII: I Don't Know Good Titles
217 replies, posted
Thanks bitch I'm spent (falls asleep)
I give my girlfriend a good thumbs up afterwards, she hates it.
I'm usually crying too hard to get the 'thanks' out
My gf and I have a running joke where I’m always like “thanks a lot”. It’s a running joke for a reason, though. It’s like saying thanks after getting a kiss, they didn’t do you a favour, don’t tell them thanks.
Fellas, today I was getting a coffee, and some girl walked up to me and said "Hey, nice wallet!" (I've got a TF2 wallet because I've got no life). I said "Hey, thanks.", and she said "I main Medic, you?". I responded with "I main Soldier because I'm bad at the game", to which she responded "I can't rocket jump, so I guess you've got that going for you" AND LIKE AN AUTIST, I LAUGH REALLY LOUDLY AND CALL HER A NOOB AND SHE JUST WALKED AWAY KILL ME NOW
I take back everything I said earlier about missionary being a bad sex position.
I clap after sex, Like a movie in the theater ending or my flight made it to my destination kind of clap.
At least your missus and you have somewhat the same views, and I think you'll either come to say 'fuck it' about the marriage, or she will. The implications of marriage are after all not so strong - they are just confirming to both you and your partner that you're really there for each other for real. In a way I think it's fine to get married - and I think you guys can have a really awesome relationship without it as well. Fuck TV series, and fuck religion too. Both my parents and my sister and her husband got married in a town hall actually. Personally I haven't decided about marriage yet... speaking of which...
A similar story, a bit on topic with yours. My girlfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. Let's rewind. On-off for 2.5 years we've been discussing/fighting things. Some fights are necessary and things are better afterwards. But some are not, some just get hidden away only to grow bigger and worse, so you just avoid them at all costs. This is what happened here, we broke up because we realized we couldn't raise a family together. She's quite religious and I frankly hate religion. Why we didn't see this way earlier, I don't know. I guess when both people haven't been in a relationship before, they don't know what to expect. What are just minor issues, and what are huge problems.
Sooo yeah, hi people here. Been pretty sad the last couple of weeks. I like her, and she likes me, but we're not really talking, because it hurts too much. We weren't living together but we spent an entire day crying, packing her things, going to her place, packing my things, and then I left her. Haven't seen her since.
Another thing that really sucks is that I just got a new job and a new apartment. I'm living in Finland, but like Riller I'm Danish. I don't have to leave Finland, but it's just painful to even be in this apartment at the moment. I don't see much point in hanging around here anymore, aiming to leave some time in December. No offense to Finns, but it's just easier living in Denmark, the language is really ass for me here. I gotta sell nearly all the shit in my apartment, somehow move the rest to Denmark somewhere and find an apartment and a job. At least I'm a software developer, so actually I might have found a job already. I don't know if this post even makes sense anymore, just trying to vent some frustration somewhere.
I know that in the long term this is definitely the correct choice. Now I just have to get through this grief, and really weird feeling of being alone again. I have so much free time. I spent a lot of time hanging out with here, too much actually. I felt like I needed more time for myself, y'know just to do those basic dude things like playing video games. Now I have nothing to do. I just go to work, go home and jog and then play video games. The best thing is just hanging out with friends but I don't really have many of those here. If you read all this nonsense then kudos and have a great day.
On today's episode of "Woah, Riller, you really are kind of a petty cunt, aren't you?": Communication.
My girlfriend has lately been complaining a lot about me not quite catching everything she tells me. This is in large part thanks to her picking up a habit of talking to me while I am wearing headphones; and me deciding to be more honest and saying "Sorry honey, could you say that again? I didn't quite catch that" when I don't quite catch what she says, because I'm wearing headphones, doing something else, or just zoned out and not listening. It happens to the best of us, right?
Anyway, she's getting mad at me over forgetting/not hearing shit. Which is a perfectly fine reason to be mad at someone, it's a shitty thing of me to do, and I am doing everything I can to improve upon it (Writing shit down if I might forget it, asking her about stuff so it's said more than once 'cause repetition helps memory, shit like that)
Pettiness, enter stage right: Here comes the plot twist. She's every bit as bad at forgetting shit I say, or not listening when I talk. Now, since I'm a professional-grade non-listener and stuff-forgetter, I usually let it slide and don't get mad. That was, until recently. After her getting mad at me so fucking often over honest forgettings, I've started doing the same. Not as aggressively or personally as she does it, but I've started pointing out that I've told her stuff already. I'm just hoping that reminding her that she forgets will make her forgive that I forget.
It's... It's not working so far.
I know that I have been painting a picture of a highly dysfunctional relationship lately. So dear readers, keep in mind, I come here with my complaints and my pettiness, and it is often slightly exaggerated for a better narrative. My relationship is doing very, very well, and you are only ever seeing the 'bad' sides of it. Please don't worry too much.
@Riller I have the same thing, actually.
My brain is kind of selective when it comes down to remembering stuff. Sometimes you will have to repeat things to me, and other times I remember the smallest, most insignificant things from the first time learning it.
It shouldn't be a problem, though? Just explain it to her, admitting that you need to hear things repeatedly in order to remember them sometimes, but not always! So try to remember some things, and mark them up, especially important things to remember. Be cool, right? Which I'm sure you are about it.
I did the same with my ex, but (un?)fortunately she was extremely good at remembering and listening - but yes, it happens to all of us
I've had my talk with her already, told her I'm kinda shit at remembering especially right now when I'm back at my studies and also starting a new kinda stressful job, so things tend to drop out of my mind. After she didn't seem to really take that into consideration and kept being mad/sad about me forgetting shit, I decided to simply point out when she forgets shit too. Because if polite conversation won't work, surely petty passive-aggressive behaviour will!
I'm getting a bit concerned, in the last three sexual encounters I had this is the second time the condom broke mid-fuck. What's the likelihood of catching STDs because of this?
Also I often have a hard time feeling pleasure while using a condom. Some days it works better than others, but it never feels amazing, except when it breaks which is why I can tell right away. Maybe I should just stop jerking off altogether?
At least she seems to have enjoyed it. Never saw someone make a cross-eyed O face before.
BYOL (bring your own lube)
Are you just buying bog standard size condoms or have you actually tried to figure out what size you use?
The risk of pregnancy is very low. Risk of catching an STD is probably larger (depending on what they've got - if they're clean (and I assume you have exquisite taste), you've caught nothing), but just get checked out dude.
Dunno what's available for you in France, but try looking for condoms that are advertised as thin if you want it to feel better. I used to use the "SKYN" brand here in the US. Do be sure to use lube though to prevent breakage.
Aside from that, yeah condoms really just kinda suck. My gf has been on the pill for the last few month and it is a million times better.
Well I did have lube at my disposal, I didn't feel it was necessary though, it slid in nicely and neither of them have complained.
The first one brought her own, standard condom and wanted me to use it. I did warn her that it may be too small and, well, turns out it was. We continued with one of my own which should be more fit to my size according to previous testing, yeah. Though there aren't lots of possibilities and it may feel a bit too narrow or too wide depending on the brand.
The second time I used a fancy no-latex ultra-thin one, which costs an arm and a leg apiece. They broke on me twice, so I guess I should just dump that garbage already.
Well, none of them had anything visible. All of them asked me if I had a condom or offered me one unprompted, so they appear to have responsible habits. They didn't come across as the type to hook up with someone new every other night anyway, but I may be wrong.
Yeah I guess I should just get checked out. I'll try to see if there's a lab open outside of working hours nearby.
Always a good idea IMO, it feels much better if you haven't done anything for a while
AFAIK there's no way to predict when precum is going to happen, don't go near that vag with your pregnancy stick if it's not protected
Yeah I see the one you're talking about. The thing is that's only available in standard size here from what I've seen. Finding condoms that are both non-standard size and non-standard type is kinda tricky, and if on top of that I want no-latex ones to avoid allergic reactions that narrows it down quite a bit to... Well, the aforementioned flimsy "luxury" brand. Maybe if I add lube on top regardless it will be less likely to break but I'm not sure I want to risk it at this point.
I suppose it must be, though if you have non-exclusive sex condoms are a no-brainer, and it's not really a good time for me to get a GF, from a practical and emotional standpoint.
Also, not every girl wants to deal with the side effects of the pill or IUD.
Speaking of condoms, allow me relay some life advice regarding them. Not my own, just someone else’s that I'm quoting, but still good though:
Lemme lay some knowledge on you cats, for some this will be who cares and for others a no duh, but for the few who don't know or are virgins.
Condoms come in about a billion different sizes do yourself a favor and get ones that fit. By that I mean not in an ego way "lul my cock is so bookoo", if a condom doesn't fit right it won't feel right. Noted no condom will ever feel as good as rawdogging but that's life.
Pretty much every condom on the planet is long enough, when you are paying for extra length it's just handing out extra money for nothing. Say you have a short dick...condom doesn't unroll all the way and you feel no change. Long dick it unrolls all the way but doesn't reach your base...who cares RL isn't like your Japanese animes where cum blasts out of the side of the guys dick when he creampies. So long as it stays on and covers your tip the length is fine.
What you need to worry about is the width, a loose or tight condom will work but both will be more prone to failure and neither will feel as good as one that fits. Measure your girth and check the condom box to see what the width is try and match as close as you can.
It's not always easy, when I was young and dumb living in Japantown I thought condoms were condoms. Those skinny bitches were suffocating my dick and limiting my pleasure. I'm not some big dick freak either I'm just girthy and average length, but general condoms don't suit that.
TLDR: Buy condoms that fit you properly for the best possible feeling and lowest likelihood of failure.
If you havent cum already, precum contains no semen.
Just use lube, they will be much less likely to split. Doesn't need to be gallons of the stuff.
I guess you're right, I've never really had to take the need to perform into consideration. Enjoying it and finishing a few times during is better IMO
Isn't there a possibility you could still have some left over from a while a go, say a few days? I'm not a biologist so someone should clue me in
The pill isn't foolproof, but it's still pretty good. Personally I think the trade-off of not having to worry about condoms is worth it. If you had sex with your GF at regular intervals for thirty years, there's about a 30% likelihood that she's gonna get pregnant. Considering at some point you're probably gonna start thinking about kids, and the fact that condoms aren't free either (and abortions are, here in Denmark at least), I'll take those odds.
I'll try that then. Also I've read putting a little bit of it inside the tip can help with sensitivity. Is that safe?
Well I never had any issue getting it up if it's the first time of the day, no matter how much I jerk off during the week. However I do feel I have a rather long refractory period (30 minutes to 1 hour) and whenever I tried to slide a second round in before then it just ended up soft rather fast... I'm not sure if maintaining her excitement for that long is really practical, so I don't know if that's a proper solution for me.
You should experiment and see if it's an obstacle or not, look into ways to increase performance time if it degrades the experience for both. Otherwise I would just enjoy the sex for as long as it lasts and go for head once you're done. Head is fucking amazing anyway and far less anxiety inducing than regular sex.
Yeah, I guess that's a good compromise. Not all girls like head though, I know one of my exes didn't.
I can understand that since regular sex feels far more intense and intimate, yeah. I guess I just empathize with my partner since you can't really compare a tongue to some annoying prodding stick
There are sensitive zones inside the vagina that can't be reached by a tongue though. As inflexible as the "prodding stick" is, it does serve its purpose. It's not all about the clit.
My partner has only been able to come once through penetrative sex, but in my experience, while the clit is pretty good, using your fingers on the inside on the front wall gives much better results. On top of that, you can push down on your fingers from the outside, lick her clit etc. while you do it.
Your mileage may vary of course - my GF likes it pretty rough, and I'd imagine some girls would prefer a more gentle hand. Still, don't discount what you can do on the inside (even if you aren't using your dick).
Do you know.... anything?
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