HBO's This Is What The Life Of An Incel Looks Like
153 replies, posted
I hate how Virgin VS Chad became something people look at seriously. To me it always used to be a funny joke where an kinda shy but totally normal person otherwise is compared to a wild exaggeration of masculinity who does things no sane person would do.
Self-victimization is sad. Yes, people who are good looking, smarter, stronger, wealthier etc. has an easier time with most things but that doesn't mean you can't live a good life, get a man/woman, have a child and be happy. I wish there was some easy way to combat this but these people often have their beliefs so ingrained that it's next to impossible.
Oh like you give a shit. You just like having easy targets.
Pretty sure there was never any proven link between incels and Nikolas Cruz or Chris, I wouldn't say a total of two shooters is news worthy considering the postal service has killed more people than incels ever have.
I'm fairly sure Cruz idolized Rodger and followed in his footsteps.
And in any case, it's an issue that's literally currently emerging, it's going to get worse as these people radicalize themselves even more. I'll repeat what I said, don't be stupid.
I mean JP is pretty much a hero among incel circles to my limited understanding since at least outside his book he encourages a worldview that confirms many of theirs beliefs about women. Not to mention he did suggest enforced monogamy to help the poor incels out. I'm not saying that some of his more basic ideas couldn't help but in my opinion, and this is pure speculation based on my anecdotal experience online, JP can be enabling these people by giving them more fuel through an academic confirming many of their beliefs.
Cruz was in a relationship if I recall correctly. I think that's more to do with people idolising shooters than it is to do with incels, same as how people idolised the columbine shooters.
Not when he became radicalized. He had an ex, and also bombarded ex's new bf with messages about killing him and shit.
man, this is the dumbest shit
I wonder what happened to that one guy here on facepunch who wrote a similarly massive manifesto. It was nuts how he got into an argument and said "I'll be back", several months later bumping the thread with a huge fucking document.
You're not wrong. Though I think "toxic masculinity" as a term is not only misleading but also heavily oversimplifying the issue.
It seems to treated too often as some idea of male superiority men have, rather than the result of individuals learning to cope with society's very harsh expectations for male performance.
That's...what toxic masculinity is. It's society's expectations for what a man is supposed to be and what role they must fulfill, as well as the negative effect it has on men in said society.
It was the JP special, leave it open to interpretation.
this guy is a cutie
It's sorts become expected that you have sex at some point during high school. Even when I was 19 there were some people that thought it was the strangest thing in the world I was still a virgin. For some people it's basically the defining characteristic of whether or not someone is successful at relationships, and by extension successful socially.
It's also a sad because I honestly thought the guy was cute, even in his broken down state. If he didn't circlejerk with other incels and tried to better himself, he would be popular with ladies. But of course, it's much more easier said than done.
How am I 'shitting on dem icky minorities'? Incels are mentally ill- just look at Elliot Rodger. Look at the man in the video above who said 'I prefer being in my room in front of my computer. I feel real here. I don't feel real outside. I don't know what it is, I think it is part of my """condition""" '. People in this thread have said that furries don't actually believe in fucking animals- I think they haven't been online long enough. There are countless examples of furries abusing animals, fucking each other in costume (which I actually don't have a problem with, deviancy, as long as it is private, is fine) and cutting familial ties because they demand their parents acknowledge they're actually 'wolfkin'. That last one brings me on to another group, grenadegenders or whatever. It is definitely attention seeking behavior- which can indicate mental instability. Are you trans? Fair enough. Are you asexual (or xgender I guess, my bad)? Fair enough. But if you honestly believe that you're plantgenderkin then you definitely have issues. Maybe it is teenage angst- but this is my point. We now have a whole generation of young adults who never moved past this phase. The internet has normalized the fringe, cringe, shit you would do as an edgy teenager and has now convinced people that it is a-ok and totes normal to be 23 and still believe you're a dinosaur in a human form, you're a 'beta incel' or you're 'lightgender'.
Btw anti-vaxxers are nutters. Control your assumptions please.
Presuming you're talking about me? Please post regarding why you think this way. How is my post disingenuous? How is it misleading? Nothing I've wrote is bigoted- I would argue that it is a valid criticism regarding the largest pitfall of the internet and fringe communities.
I should have clarified my post more obviously (and thanks for avoiding the knee-jerk 'omg bigot big boi' other less reasonable posters simply couldn't help engaging in). I meant tumblr more as a breeding ground for these niche communities which harm mental health- 4chan in general and /r9k/ in particular would also have been a valid example to include on that list.
I would disagree with your point about furries. Maybe on Facepunch they genuinely just like roleplaying and that is more than fine (I for example like roleplaying as the leader of a nation in games in progress with FP buddies). But elsewhere online, furries are blowing thousands of dollars on a fursuit, thousands of dollars on pornographic artwork of their fursona and are damaging their personal relationships as a result. (Not to mention the animal abuse either).
Incels we can agree upon wholly.
Xgender, I probably posted the wrong mickey-taking kind of gender. I always assumed if you felt like neither a man nor a woman then you were asexual, but obviously gender and sex are different so my bad. The other flowery kinds of gender though, lightgender chaoskin or whatever- that is teenage attention seeking that is being normalized by these communities.
Society 'pushing them in the right direction' can sound constrictive, very true, and I acknowledge your point about how the same point would've been used to try and push down the gays, but the point I would make is that there is, genuinely, a slippery slope. These communities started off as niche (remember when noone knew what furries were?) and now they are substantial online subcultures. Incels and incel memes have recently gained widespread notice. It is more than fair to say we shouldn't condemn these things without checking if they are hurting anything or anyone... but I would say that the people who enagage in these communities are hurting themselves mentally and that is why we should be concerned, not necessarily with the content, but definitely with the result of these peoples experiences online.
Eh, I've always kind of resented the term itself though. People don't call the same concept "toxic femininity" when applied to women. I think it's a term that sort of reinforces the idea that those expectations are only held by other men and that it's essentially just something that men do to themselves and each other.
Don't act like your judgement had any critical thought put behind it, you're just wrote off the entire website because you don't like the politics of a small group of blogs.
I don't know what the fuck the rest of your response is about since I never mentioned the word article or why you're being pedantic about its use.
I can't find any academic sources that say furries are more likely to abuse animals than anyone else.
In general it seems you've got some preconceptions based on really shallow understandings.
I don't see the fursuit fuckers as any different from medieval re-enactors who fuck while in-character.
This, for example, is not what "furry" is to most furries. You find outliers in every community, of course, but you're being really silly by painting a wide brush like this on everyone.
By all means, learn me up real good what my values are.
How low do you have to get to be in a group where one guy's signature thing is he whips his dick out and then shits his pants and you think "yeah this is fine."
The Virgin and the Chad should have pros and cons. The Chad shouldn't be completely better.
Because academic sources are quick enough to study furry communities... but whatever.
Your entire point here is essentially, 'no true scotsman'.
22, never had a GF. I don't know if i'm an incel or not but i'm worried i'd become one.
I don't hold any negative views towards women or think that "ONLY ASSHOLES GET GIRLS" and that kind of BS.
But I really get that feeling that based off of my lifes circumstances, how I am and what I want to do with my life that I will probably never come across a girl that I am both physically and mentally attracted to. And on top of that to just being able to say the right things in general, I figure all this will come natural and I shouldn't have to really think about it but I honestly don't know..
(I'm not asking for advice on this, i've already asked in the social thread in GD, i'm more or less venting)
No it isn't
Learn what the 'no true Scotsman' argument is because they didn't use it at all, not even close.
Holy shit, that point about how four of this dude's friends have killed themselves....
This is such a weird conversation. A group of people who feel bad about themselves so much that they turn that hate outward and blame others, sometimes leading to mass murder... I would argue that that's learned helplessness. These people get away with being NEETs or physically out of shape or unpopular without realizing the (minimal) effort required to better yourself even a little bit. But fuck, how do we help these clowns out when they might not want to change, or bring all of their hateful bullshit into a job or a gym or a friendship?
Like, I have pity for them, but only just a little bit. They're obviously mentally ill and/or socially anxious and are immersing themselves in horrible, unbelievably toxic communities, but on some level they believe what they're saying, virulent misogyny and all.
people sort of refuse to believe there is an actual incel phenomena, despite it being both an obvious reality and even a necessary one. Evolution works in sexuate species by culling certain male frequencies every generation. this is both observable in absolutely every mammalian species ever, as well as unavoidable.
and yes, these men suffer. While for some of them it may indeed just be "in their head" (and I can make the case for this, I used to be part of the forum elliot rodger was on, back when it was called PUAhate. There were way less "incels" on there back then and majority of content was humorous bashing of the absurd and obviously fraudulent PUA industry. Anyway, I remember distinctly many guys who were convinced they were incel because of their looks but were in fact above average looking. However, there were also guys who were very obviously ugly and their routinely failed attempts to attract partners came as absolutely no surprise) for many others it is a brutal reality - they are ugly and no amount of "get a hair cut bro" or "dress better" is going to help them attract a partner.
People dont want to believe this stuff, but there is overwhelming amount of scientific evidence showing that sexual selection in humans has almost nothing to do with personality (often in contrast to what study participants report to the researchers) and almost everything to do with physical factors.
in short, there always have been "incels" and there always will be incels. The internet just gave them a voice, like it did the rest of people who are labelled various forms of "mentally ill" without a specific diagnosis.
I dont like bashing incels. I feel it is very much a "there but for the grace of god, go i" case. While one could look at a homeless person and make the case that their own decisions put them in that position, a person who is ugly is that way via no action of their own, simply the dice roll of genetic recombination.
here are many communities devoted to making fun of incels, and I think the most perverse thing about it is many of the people doing it seem to lack a self awareness of just how close to these individuals they are on the social totem pole. The age old case of losers bullying the bigger losers to less feel like losers. Yes, they (incels) are often horrible in nature, but try to think, you probably would be too if you had their life experiences. People who have been socially rejected all their life are never going to have positive value views of the world or society.
Yo on the one hand props for realizing the issue lies with you. On the other, theres no need to insult other people just walking around with their families just because you feel insecure.
Toxic femininity is a thing but it's not nearly on the same level as masculinity. Mostly because A, what people might construe as toxic femininity was put upon them by men so the comparison is kinda skewed to begin with and B, its consequences are not as widespread or as bad as masculinity, like mass murder.
I saw a Twitter thread a while ago that explained it well, wish I could find it.
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