Meat is better, no need to be green about it.
What you call a bad haircut?
A Trumpée
So like one time I was just sitting in my room and watching CSI North Dakota on the television when this fucking guy just walks in on me when my dick is out.
Not just any out, my dick was out of the fuckin closet.
And like what the hell do you do when this guy just walks in on your dick when it's in the full gay?
So I says "Hey fuck head, what are you doing in my fucking house you fucking loser ass fuck carrot"
Obviously I was insecure about my homosexual cock, but what does this guy know?
And at this point i'm feeling a little bit perturbed and my erection has gone from rocky from spongebob to a freshly layed piece of cow shit and a little bit of precum just slips out because that's kind of what happens when the pressure just leaves previously hardened throbbing dick that's ready to burst you guys know how it is.
So i'm like "W-what's the matter with you, what the fuck is the matter with you dick hole?"
And he's just mesmerized with my fucking dick. My fucking dick. What is this guy fucking gay? I ain't no gay, even though my dick was at this point. He was gonna have another thing coming to him, even if it was or wasn't my dick.
So you know what I's does?
I pull out my fully automatic completely decked out assault asshole penetrator (my asshole isn't no gay though i only use it to scratch my back), and I throw it at the mother fucker. Just throw it, dick sucker and all, and it smacks him in the face. The fucking FACE.
At this point i'm laughin my ass off, while fucking shit drips down his face and he starts sobbing. I can't believe he fell for the old asshole penetrator gag.
But he keeps looking.
He.
Keeps.
Looking.
The smile faded from my face.
I had never seen anybody take a asshole penetrator to the face and be absolutely unfazed by it. Without saying a single word. How the fuck could he just stand there and not say what he felt in the moment with no filter?
At this point I slowly got out of my chair and backed up a step.
He took a step forward matching mine.
I took another step backward crinkling the latex carpeting I had stepped on.
Again and eerily similar to my own movements he matched me, even crinkling the latex carpet as I had.
I was completely and utterly terrified.
I took two steps back, stepping over my fur suit and leather bondage equipment laying on my floor, past the stitching my mother had made me in her week before her untimely death reading "Fags Burn in Hell" with a caricaturized version of the devil stirring the whole LGBTQ movement in a big stirring pot.
Then he did the same. He stepped over an identical fur suit and identical bondage equipment, passing simultaneously as I moved a stitching which I had never seen before, which read Lleh ni Nrub Sgaf. It must be some kind of beaner speak. Fucking beanie baby.
The fucking faggoty fucker was copying me. And he must have brought an identical, kinky Spencer gifts latex carpet, and an identical Hot Topic blue panda fursuit with matching bondage set made out of leather and placed them on the floor before he walked in. That little fucker!
I don't really have a punchline to this "joke", basically he was just arguing with his reflection the entire time while jerking it to his reflection high on salvia, while watching gay porn and he gets scared and falls out of a two story window, and gets put in a hospital where he is now telling this story.
Sorry this is the joke thread not Forums Discussion
You know what they say about cooking:
when measuring your ingredients, there's no margarine for error.
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