I was trying to type up this post yesterday, but the internet at the shelter wasn't working until like 10pm and by then I just wanted to lay down and sleep.
I had work yesterday, I'm a bell-ringer for the Salvation Army. One of those peeps that stands outside stores ringing a bell and trying to get donations. 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. Only day off is Sunday which happens to be today. It was an easy enough job and it's a good way to get some money in my pocket and get the ball rolling. I've only been here a week and I already feel like I'm wasting a fuckton of time and that things are moving too slowly. I think its because I forgot how slow this lifestyle is, only now do I realize why the Philippines felt like such a big chunk of my life. Being homeless slows EVERYTHING down and fucks up your sense of time. Anyways, I'm glad to have a job. They also serve breakfast before you go in, and give you a little lunch baggie with a sandwich. Pretty neat stuff.
I'm becoming somewhat friends with a fella named Onyx. Real ~nigga~ type, if you catch my drift. Talks in ebonics, has a fudged face and a slackjaw. Got a slur to his words from getting his face fucked by whatever adventures he had up to this point. He's been in gangs and been in jail and he's only 21. He's aggressive and misogynistic and has sex on his mind. Reminds me of home and my life on the streets of the Philippines. Gangstas and that kinda shit have been the people I've been rolling with for a large chunk of my life and honestly I kinda missed the down-to-earth camaraderie that they provided. Ever since I got back to America I've been hanging out with nerds and shit. What's really interesting about Onyx is he has a unique quirk that I don't commonly see among people, I'd liken him to Heavy Weapons Guy. He's actually REALLY well spoken and worldly. Experienced in life and mature, clever and knows a good deal. So in a way, I feel like we're kindred spirits of the sort. Fucked up rejects who life dealt a shite hand, just trying to make it through.
Still not friends with anyone else at the shelter though :P
One thing I didn't realize, since San Diego is dry as FUCK and in the Philippines you don't wear shoes you wear sandals/slippers. Shoes are only if you're going to a more formal place like a school or business. The humidity really fucks with your feet. I'm constantly active and walking around from place to place because using public transportation still feels really alien to me and I'm only slowly starting to get into it now. (Which means I'm consistently walking around 7 miles a day, sometimes I walk almost 10). One thing I've found is that, since I don't have access to a laundromat yet (I'm looking but its not a big priority), the humidity and my sweat in my feet just messes up the socks. It makes my socks sticky and almost gummy, gooey all over my feet. Fucking nasty dude. Then I take them off and it smells like something DIED in my boots. Fucking Nasty Dude. Then, I leave the socks out at night to try and dry up and air out, same with the boots. Socks come back crusty and solid until my body heat warms it back into gooey sticky mess. FUCKING NASTY DUDE. I went to go grab socks from my bag I leave in the shelter's storage this morning but it turns out I think I might've grabbed too little socks. Thankfully Onyx had a pair he was willing to give, I owe him one. I'm going to need to buy more socks and try to rotate them and take more care of them, I also really need to work on finding a laundromat. Apparently there's a free one around here but the washers broke just as I got here from what people are saying. Hoping it's fixed by now, gonna see what I can find out.
Another thing is my feet seems to be getting yellowish, and I have some white spots here and there that looks like dead skin. Around my big toe and pinky toe. I'm paranoid and inexperienced with this, but I'm wearing boots, dealing with humid conditions, and not changing my socks. Am I getting trench foot, or is this just a foot-wide callus from walking around so damn much after 4 years of becoming a pudgy chubby gal?
My friend sent me some money, about 150 dollars. He's from Brazil so he's sending me a good deal of it, thankfully he's well off or else I'd feel WAY more terrible, (but I still feel bad.) This job should definitely give me more funds and I'm hoping to pay him back when this is all said and done.
Also if people are curious, I post in Creationism Corner. My passion is film-making and animation. I love storytelling through art and I have a lot of fun with it. With all my free-ish time, I'm hoping to put it towards working on art and animations and stuff. Maybe end up turning that into a source of income if I can
Here's the last thing I worked on:
https://my.mixtape.moe/zdpkbj.webm
Anyways, yadda yadda! As always, please do respond and talk in this thread! I love answering questions (as in, legitimately, it's one of my favorite things to do) and I would be happy to talk to others. If you would rather message me privately, my information is still in the OP, add me or something and I'd be cool with talking it up. Thanks for your time
You have to compete with the endless flood of videos in General now so I'd even recommend making shorter and more numerous posts if you want more people to see it but once a week isn't a bad pace by any means. My offer for a 'lil 20 canadian bux bill is still valid if you ever get a system for donations set up.
Haha I suppose you're right, I guess helping get my story out there either for help or just so people can see it, it would be beneficial to be a bit more post-happy. Just feels weird to me is all, I've always been more reserved and tend to make bigger one-time posts. I'll see if I can manage it.
Also appreciated! Still very appreciated. I haven't set one up because my friend sent nearly 150 dollars, I already have a couple hundred dollars left from the trip, and I have a job that pays 12 dollars an hour, work 6 days a week for 8 hours. So in two weeks I'll be getting a rather sizeable paycheck! I don't think I'd need what you can send me, and it might be more worthwhile to keep it on your person. Again, thank you very much for considering it though and if for some reason the situation gets worse and I become more desperate, I'll be sure to set up some way to donate.
I suppose I was just never interested in taking money, it's not a pride thing, its just that I can handle myself and obtain money relatively fine. This thread from the onset was never to ask for money but just for a place to keep my stuff and a place to take a shower really. Keep my stuff safe and keep myself presentable so I can keep working on things and keep things moving. I'd hate to use my bad times as an excuse to ask people for money that I don't really need and haven't really worked for.
Still, thank you, again. I thank you for considering it and even reminding me that you want to donate! You're very kind
It's starting to get really cold here, hahaha
I'm really inexperienced with the cold and I'm still wearing the same 'winter clothes' i had from San Diego. They're starting to show me they weren't meant for temperatures this cold because I'm going through freezing nights now, and mornings are unbearable. Anyone have any advice for winter clothes?
It's kinda funny, San Diego was so dry that it dried out my face and made the skin on my face scaly if I didn't take care of it. Since I came from the Philippines where its humid as all hell. So I came to Tacoma and its almost as humid here as the Philippines (according to weather reports, atleast) and so my skin is having a great time EXCEPT: it's cold. Really really cold. Now I cover myself pretty well, but the cold air really gets to my face, since I don't have anything covering that. It's made my cheeks a bit purple and flaky? Nothing grand and fantastic, but a noticeable difference (if you were looking close at my face). I'm thinking of getting a scarf.
My fingers are usually one of the coldest parts of me, I wear a combo of fingerless gloves and regular gloves under them, as that's what I had back in San Diego, and I just brought them on a whim. But all it does is mean that my widdle fingie wingies just get absolutely freezing and I can't find a good way to warm them up and keep them warm. Usually if I get cold I can just do jumping jacks, but right now it doesnt really send the heat to the tips of my fingers, and so I have to shove my hands in my pockets and just hope they warm up soon. Any advice on how to keep fingers warm, anyone?
Today's the second day of the job, first day of this week. Kinda not looking forward to it, standing outside in the cold for 8 hours. But hey, it pays 12 dollars an hour. Gonna be working every day this week and probably every week until Christmas. Only days off are Sunday.
As always, do message me or post in this thread!
Wear pajama pants under your jeans if you have them. Tuck your pjs into your socks and then put on your jeans so they won't ride up on you and be uncomfortable, of course you can untuck them from your socks once you've got them on.
As for your fingers I'm not sure what else you can do if you're wearing two pairs of gloves already but with your legs covered well you should feel warmer overall, always double up on socks and shirts. It is "double sweater weather" after all!
Wishing you the best of luck from atlantic canada, take care of yourself and be safe !!
I have sweatpants, I could probably put those on. My legs are the least cold part but I suppose if I warm them up more, the rest of my body should warm up too a little, yeah?
Also haha I guess I'll have to buy some more winter wear from Walmart. Waiting for the paycheck (should be almost 1000 dollars i think?) so that I can buy some better clothes. It kinda sucks that I have to be very sparing on what I buy, not because I'm trying to save money (although I am) but because I simply don't have space to keep it. My storage situation is a little bin and its already taken up by two backpacks, a computer bag, and the contents of the third backpack that i emptied into it. So buying more clothes is a risk of running out of space, especially if its bulkier clothing.
Thanks! Hope you're doing well
Yeah sweatpants are great too. Anything than just jeans they suck at retaining bodyheat.
Try a thrift shop you will end up saving waaay more and maybe pick up a big duffel bag while you're at it so you dont have so many extra bags.
Also become a master at folding your clothing to save more space
Jesus, read through that initial post but don't have the time to read the rest before I sleep at 7 am. Hope you're at a better place currently. I'd be right happy to help you, but California is such a big state that I doubt you're anywhere near the area nor have much of an ability to travel. Read that you got a job and are expecting a paycheck, so sounds like you're already off into a good direction.
Oh yeah thrift shops are a thing, I completely forgot those existed.
Most of my stuff is actually in the shelter's storage, I only carry one bag and grab and put-away what I need. I tend to pack light so I can have space to grab whatever else I need.
Yeah I can fold some pretty mean clothes.
Also haha thats like 4 layers man, I only wear a tanktop and a jacket over it.
Read through the rest! Lots of stuff has happened since the first one. Thanks for your support and kind thoughts though <3
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Second day of work was killer, I gotta figure out how to use public transportation or something. I've also been working out while standing aroudn ringing bells, and trying to get cardio and work on my legs while going the 3 miles to/from the shelter/salvation army.
I also wanted to restate before I head off to sleep: Anyone in Tacoma or Washington area in general, I am still willing to live with someone if anyone is willing. I can cook, clean, I have a lot of skills from my experience in the Philippines, I can pay rent. Willing to do anything really, yes even that (whatever you were thinking of).
The shelter is a step above being on the streets but I'm still always ever-opportunistic and looking to improve my situation however I can. By the start of the new year I should have a few thousand dollars as well, so I'll have funds to pay rent and stuff (although if you want me to suck your dick, I'm obviously expecting a cheaper rent )
Just throwing that out there, even if I get into my own place, it's probably still going to be better to try and get a roommate to offset costs and all that. This is my first time living independently in America and so I wouldn't mind having someone more close to my chest that can help me out and I can put more trust in than a low barrier shelter full of homeless kids and weak-willed volunteers not willing to really step in unless people are about to kick the shit out of each other.
Yadda yadda, message in the thread/message me privately! This is still a developing situation and you can still definitely help out! Otherwise, I'm still very happy to talk and keep people updated on my situation.
Hahahha, well it is nearly winter and I'm up in Canada, more layers the better because you can always remove a layer if you are too warm. Better to be to warm and be able to fix it than be cold and wishing you had another layer
If your feet are cold at night put on one pair of socks, wrap your feet in aluminum foil, then put on another pair of socks.
It will be warm, but makes a little mess when you take them off.
Sleep with your hands in your crotch for warmth.
Get foot powder for your boots, or use baking soda. It will absorb moisture.
You can cut fingerholes in the ends of worn out socks for sleeping gloves.
Get a thin "windbreaker" type jacket to put under your normal jacket.
Wear a beenie under a jacket hood.
Fair enough, haha. I'm planning to start looking for clothes more actively after I get my paycheck. Cheap clothes/free clothes of course, but I'm mainly focused on getting that money. I'll definitely be working more towards suitable clothing for the winter (especially considering anything below 70f/21c is cold as fuck to me).
Thankfully my feet aren't cold (yet), I'll definitely keep that in mind for the future though.
Haha yeah I figured that one out already :p
Foot powder? That's a thing? I'll take a look next time I stop by a store. Would Walmart have them? My feet are getting worse by the day, skin is flaking off and scabbing as if I was getting constantly scraped just walking around. Rashes and lots of itchiness. That kinda stuff. I'll DEFINITELY be looking out for this, thank you!
Haha if I have socks that aren't disgusting and I don't wear, I'll definitely be doing this.
Oh thankfully I have a windbreaker jacket, I got one when I was in the Philippines a few months ago. I ended up bringing it because it's from the Philippines and so it felt a bit special.
I don't have any jackets with hoods (except the windbreaker), I plan on getting one though. I'll be sure to do that, thanks :>
Haha definitely, I've already been keeping an eye out. Thankfully I've been managing to basically sleep alone since I always grab the bed thats in a weird spot. There's only one other bed that isn't 'reserved' in a sense (as in, there's no reserved beds, but people always go to the same bed). Everyone here has friendgroups and such, and they want to sleep by their friends. So the bed ends up going untaken and I can just kind of be alone in my little corner. It's nice.
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Day three in a row of this whole bell-ringing gig. It's getting easier to be out, but feels like it's starting to drag on more. Kinda sucks really! But the paycheck looks enticing and I need what I can get.
Also my friend from Seattle plans on coming down this Sunday to hang out for a few hours. Treat me to a meal he owes, that kinda stuff. Gonna be lots of fun, first time we're meeting.
Turns out, being forced to do nothing but say "hi" and ring a bell for nearly 8 hours straight gives you lots of time to think. Problem with that is giving me lots of time to think is kind of bad. It's healthy to think about things, your problems, the good times, what you can appreciate and what you wish would change. But thinking too much is a surefire way to get yourself in a bad place. I think a lot about some of the effects of my time in the Philippines that only became extremely visible just before I left for Tacoma. Kinda funky, I can take a really good beating: as in, you can probably really slowly break my fingers and I could stare you down without reacting. I've been hit with every thing you can think of. Bats, metal rebar, fists and foot, motorcycles. I've been slammed into walls, doors, floors, thrown off ledges. I've had people hold my leg out and slowly push down on the knee to bend my leg the wrong way. In short, I'm no stranger to pain. But unlike Rick Astley, I am 100% a stranger to love. My friend was massaging my back the night before I left San Diego and it felt almost orgasmic. I doubt he's a good masseuse, but simply a gentle touch is enough to make melt. As if I wasn't used to it, because I'm not I suppose. It's nothing really having to do with my trip to Tacoma I guess, but it's something that's been on my mind for the past week.
I'm starting to use Public Transportation now, taking the bus and stuff. Don't really want to deal with the 3 mile walk through the cold anymore to get to the Salvation Army. It's nice.
My friend and I are talking about starting our own little company thing. Like an indie thing, since our friendgroup is a lot of very talented artists, musicians, programmers, writers, just really anyone willing to make content. We're also hoping to use it to help me get out of this whole situation, but that's a very long term thing. But hey, I have an abundance of time and effort now that I'm independent. Might as well put it to good use, yknow?
Oh yeah I bought an e-cigarette, one of those dirt-cheap ones. Been thinking a lot about it since I got here. It's a trade-off: Nicotine helps with appetite, focus/memory, stress relief, and helps you look cool. But it comes with all the bad stuff that comes with Nicotine and smoking in general. E-cigarettes are healthier than regular ciggies, but they're still bad for you in the end. I'm thinking of using it sparingly, just to help out when I need to take the edge off since I can't down a shot then walk into an interview. But it's a nice tool to have at my disposal. As for addiction, I'm fairly certain by now that I could kick it. Hubris some might say, but after everything I've been through: stopping smoking should be a relatively easier time.
I'll try to update this thread more often as Strawberry remarked, so that I can kinda signal-boost and get this out there. But sometimes there's just nothing to talk about except for my own thoughts (like that paragraph up there about massages). Which honestly doesn't really pertain to the whole "Homeless adventure in Tacoma" thing going on right now, and makes me somewhat uneasy to talk about. People are here to see how my life is going, not see what I'm thinking about, I suppose? It's definitely nice to have a blog of sorts, I've never been able to make one before. Never really understood how I'd type things out, but I see now that it's not as hard as I thought. Might end up making an actual blog at some point. I guess a lot of it though is that I do like interacting with others, and answering questions/talking to other people like I've been doing in this thread. Anyways....
As always, thanks for reading, thanks for giving me your time :>
Don't be afraid to ask questions or talk or even criticize my use of e-cigarettes, it's all good. Message me privately or post in the thread! (Please!)
I greatly encourage you to not use e-cigs. Yes, they're not nearly as awful as cigarettes, but relying on an addictive substance to relieve stress or focus or whatever will only make you dependent on it. Also, never assume you'll just be able to kick off an addictive substance. You're probably already latched onto it, and you don't even know it. Thinking anything else is naive. Trust me, if my mom and dad are anything to go by, it'll only be so much harder to get away from it when you want or need to. They didn't use e-cigs, just regular cigarettes, but I've heard friends that began to use cigs after awhile.
You're a very strong person. I've never been homeless in my life, Masha'Allah, but I've lived in some pretty awful neighborhoods here in Chicago. If I had connections to imams in Washington, I would've been more than happy to send you to their mosque to stay in. If you ever find yourself in Chicago somehow, someday, please contact me.
For your foot condition, look out for concierge practices in the area, or an urgent care clinic if it gets worse. Healthcare is dogshit in this country, but you can still scrape by if you know what to look for sometimes.
If you're still around here in a year or so, I should start renting my own place near LA and would be more than willing to let you stay if you need it.
If you need winter clothes, try finding a few nearby thrift stores like Goodwill. They're always cheap and you should be able to find some decent shoes as well. And I'd really suggest to start wearing shoes, open sores and walking around barefoot is just asking for an infection, even if it seems okay now.
Good luck though!
The dollar stores used to carry foot powder here but recently stopped, and the walmart brand is $5+. I've been told baking soda does the same thing, people use baking soda for EVERYTHING.
>e-Cigs
I've relied heavily on painkillers, alcohol, and caffeine in the past. I've never been 'stuck' with them (although I've been addicted to the painkillers and the caffeine before, I managed to get off them). It's naive and a lot of hubris thinking I can break a tobacco addiction, but I feel like its a hubris well-earned after all my experiences. Nothing has ever forced me into doing anything. I've toppled every other issue in my life, even things that seemed impossible (crawled out of a 3rd world shithole with everything against me until I got to America, for example). I remain steadfast in my confidence that I can do this. It's definitely bad for me still, and it's a risk. But I think right now, I need something to take the edge off and alcohol isn't an option. I've already found the e-cig coming in useful, mainly being very good at passing time (if I'm waiting at a bus stop, walking to a place, that kinda thing). Helps me clear my head. It's nice and I can appreciate it when I get the chance.
>Chicago and Mosques
Oh! Thank you for the kind words, thanks for the consideration too! It would've been an interesting experience and one I would've looked forward too, staying at a Mosque. If I find myself in Chicago and I can still find a way to contact you, I'll be sure to hit you up. That's a promise!
>Foot Condition
If it looks like it's going to be bad, I'm definitely running to the nearest place I can to get it fixed. Right now it just looks irritated. I got the foot powder someone recommended so I'm hoping to see if this helps it.
>Year or so
I'm already in Tacoma right now! I doubt I'll be staying here for long, honestly. But I think I'll be here for the time being, until I can get my bearings. Could be here for months, could be here for a few years. Eventually my goal is to move back closer to LA though because I want to make movies and stuff and that looks like the place to be. If your offer is still up, be sure to let me know privately/in the thread. I should be in a much better place in a year or so, but I still would love to get back to where I need to be ASAP, if situations allow. You can also just hit me up privately already, or sometime later. Might be good to talk to/get to know the person you might become roomates with, yeah?
>Thrift stores
Yeah someone mentioned thrift stores, and there's a few Goodwills around here. I'll definitely look around.
>Shoes
Silly, I'm wearing boots :p. It's just I'm in boots for over 12 hours a day in a very humid climate, and I'm consistently active and moving around. So I sweat a lot in them and I guess it fucks with my feet.
Thanks :>
I grabbed some cheapo foot powder from a grocery store. Felt great!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
No work today, unfortunately, so I can't get a paycheck or keep busy.
Everything is closed too, kinda sucks! Not much I can do. This coffee shop I'm at closes in like 7 minutes.
Shit sucks!
Here you can have this though: Who says you can't be homeless and pretty!
https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/1986/f1fac227-8b91-4f2c-ad27-48e0ca3ebddd/image.png
This is my first time going out as a girl. Don't really have anything to lose, yknow?
Welp, Thanksgiving update yeah?
So I hung out with one of the other kids, his name is Anthony, only 19. Shot the shit a bit. He's a weird kid, has ~multiple personalities~ and stuff, but if that's how he copes, then that's fine. Seems to come from a household where his parents were drunk and abusive. Left for a new life, ran out of money and found himself in the homeless shelter. He's nice, not obnoxious like a bunch of the other kids.
Since everything was closed down, he and I just shit around a little, walking around a small area trying to find a place to charge and keep dry since it's raining. Security on a university campus gave us a "get out of here when i get back" kinda deal, so I left and Anthony stayed.
I went to a little nook by a museum to stay dry and mooch off some wifi I found. I was chilling, talking to some friends over discord. When this big black guy came over, looked grimey. Introduced himself as Roberto. Backed me into a corner and started talking about how he wanted to fuck me. Saying shit like, "I want those soft lips on dick." "I wanna bury my 10 inch dick in that ass" "Cmon girl let me get some action, you stone cold, let me fuck you 24/7" "That's my pussy now, cmon, you want this." Then offered me some drugs. He was getting really close, kept me in the corner. I could taste his fucking breath. I managed to maneuver my way out of that after like 10 minutes. Didn't want to make a scene, not that anyone would see since I moved to such an isolated place. It's kinda sad, really: first day going out as a girl and this already happened. Is this what girls have to go through every day? That's fucked. Just my luck.
Guess if there's one thing I'm sure as fuck thankful for this Thanksgiving, it's that I wasn't raped by a big black man with a 10 inch dick. Real thankful for that.
Guess I'm also kinda pleased that I pass as a girl enough for this to happen.
After I managed to get away, I mulled around in a bit more of a public-ish place, went back to chatting with my friends. But the phone on my battery started running low, so I had to stop that. But there were still like 4 hours till the shelter opened. So I explored some more of Tacoma for an hour, then went to the shelter.
They were closed, of course. So I had 3 hours to go. Ended up making some friends with the other guys who happened to find themselves in the same situation. Guy named Nathan: a big irish dude, homeless for having a tough family situation. He's a recovering alcoholic, used to get blitz every night, but has been dry for 5 months. He's had a rough life like me, so we managed to bond very well. Kindred spirits.
There was James too, young black kid from Indiana trying to get away from arrest warrants and live a more honest life. Cute, like a little puppy. Not really accustomed to this life like Nathan and I were, not really sheltered, but definitely not accustomed to being homeless. When it was just me and him alone, he was very shy and bicurious, asking me questions and trying to get in my pants.
Bonded with these two fellas, was nice to finally just sit around and talk with some people like the old days from when I was in the Philippines. Passing a pipe full of tobacco and an e-cig between us instead of liqour or weed. Definitely going to chill with these guys again, maybe bring some alcohol next time. For once, I'd consider these guys friends of some sort.
Now I'm in the shelter, sleeping next to Nathan instead of Onyx. Eventful day. Tomorrow is back to working at the Salvation Army. Not looking forward to it, but looking forward to getting paid.
That' just fucked man. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't even want to quote it because it just makes me feel gross. Shit like this just convinces me that flirting with strangers isn't something I'll ever do unless I get asked first. Girls have enough problems, I don't want to add anything on top of the pile.
Just learn social cues. A lot of people are too afraid to take the first step, so as long as you know when to walk away, you can potentially make both your and their lives much better. People have a lot of problems but one of them is often a lack of a romantic side of life.
Things were rougher in the Philippines, a lot more handsy and forceful. I'm a little shaken up because I've gotten a little soft over the 4 years here in America. Softened up because I'm no longer in danger every time I walk outside, and I have wonderful friends who have been trying endlessly for the past 4 years to try and 'cure' me, make me more human*. So aside from the shock of it happening again, kinda cementing that I'm indeed back in this life... again: I think I should be fine and take it in stride. Still kinda saddened to realize that this must happen to women on a daily basis, I've kinda understood that it was more dangerous, but seeing it up close and personal like that just shows you it in a way I don't think people really understand. Reminds me of this friend, he always chastised me for being really remorseful and haunted by past deeds against fellow people. Mainly in self-defense. Then he killed a mouse and had nightmares about it for a week. Rape and death are really fucked up. In some ways, it's depressing that it's so normalized for me that I'm taking this well enough, and in others, it's depressing that it happened in the first place, and in even different ways, it's sad that this must happen to so many women. Maybe even people you know! It's nuts.
I would agree with :
Just be good at reading the room, be respectful, that kinda stuff. Easier said than done for some people, but yeah. If someone flirted with me, and I guess James did the other night, I'd find it flattering (which I did), and boost my confidence. Compliments and knowing you're attractive can be very nice things to hear. I suppose I'm an outlier because I'm rarely complimented and therefore enjoy knowing that I'm appreciated by people (loving the support from this thread, and the two cute ratings on my picture :3c). But I would assume, for the most part (based off my experiences), people do enjoy playful flirting and compliments. Just be able to figure out if it's the right time, right thing to say, and right person to say it to.
Excited today, have a friend coming down from Seattle. We've been internet pals for like the last 4 years or so, looking forward to finally meeting him. He's the main reason I managed to get to Tacoma and he's the one who told me about the shelter and all that. Immensely helpful, he's coming down and we're going to hang out and he's going to buy me lunch.
Today's a day off, no work. I got my first paycheck but it was only about a hundred dollars because it was only like 1 day and a few hours from the orientation. Waiting for the next paycheck, which comes in like 2 weeks and should be around a thousand dollars.
My feetsies are in bad shape. Foot powder is helping a lot, but it's just taking too much of a beating. Guess it's good I'm making friends, they're keeping their eyes open for some new shoes/boots for me. We've been hanging out a bit more, plan on drinking with them soon if I can make some space with my money. I'm still not hurting too much (I'm good with my money) but I don't want to spend too much on a luxury. Cheap liqour should be good, guy named Austin kinda seems a bit less enthusiastic about cheap liqour but he's gonna have to suck it up.
I'm still not hooked on nicotine or anything, I've been smoking a bit from Nathan's pipe (since he smokes tobacco from a pipe) and relatively regularly from my e-cig. e-cig died though and I could barely make myself actually go through the trouble of charging it. Nathan offers to let me smoke his pipe, or people offer me cigarettes, but I turn them down. I mainly smoke/vape when waiting, it suprisingly helps pass the time REALLY quickly. Otherwise I really just don't feel the need to do it. Of course, there's still potential for it getting worse in the future, but I'm just keeping you guys updated. For those worried about me being hooked on smoking/nicotine, I sincerely think that I'm just not the kinda person that gets pushed around by anything, let alone some addiction. I don't plan on doing any other drugs, like meth, which is kinda easily obtainable. I've been offered some weed but I've never been a big weed person, always into alcohol myself.
One of my friends would say it's because I chowed down edibles and got wasted until I threw up, multiple days in a row. The real reason is I just don't like the taste/smell, and the feeling of being high just doesn't mesh as well with me as the feeling of being drunk. I always liked stumbling around and being stupidgoofy, rather than just being chill and somewhat cheerfully mindless.
Also I'm drawing up some concepts for a thing I'm working on, or atleast thinking about working on. Let me know what you think, and let me know who you think it is!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/444265175680548866/516135926708043797/unknown.png
Don't know the character but it's hella cute for sure.
If you want a challenge get everclear, it's cheap and just a flask will do you and your friends.
It's meant to be Angelica Schuyler from the musical: Hamilton. I love the diverse cast and all that, think everyone is pretty nice (although I think the musical for the most part is pretty meh and downright terrible in some places). But one thing I've been obsessed with is seeing these diverse voices and hip-hop kinda stuff coming out of the actual faces of history. So I'm trying to combine aspects of the actual person but with the demeanor/style of the actor/actress from the musical. Angelica is my favorite character from the musical so she's first.
This post has been near and dear to my heart, I want to print this post out and laminate it and carry it with me for changing my life. The only alcohol I've been drinking now is Everclear, it's cheap and 190 proof so it's pretty fantastic, just fill up a flask and I can take a few swigs here and there to take the edge off. I haven't even touched my e-cig since I've gotten Everclear. It's also nice as fuck to just pass a shotglass around since usually most people only need 1 or 2 before they're done. (Although me and a friend called Munch are gods among men and manage to drink 5 shots, possibly go for more).
Interesting turn of events, with my drink, more people are getting to know me and are constantly trying to get my attention and give me things and buddy up. It's like I've unintentionally placed myself at the middle of everyone and now I have leverage over everyone. "You want to drink? Do what I say." Of course, I'm trying to live an honest life, so I all I do with this is mainly stop fights and try to keep others more honest. Tell people that if they're "under my metaphorical roof" then they're going to be respectful and civil, no starting fights, no talking shit, etc. So far it's been working, people are bringing chasers and helping pay for things, people are being nice and supportive and not over-dramatic/obnoxious. People learn a bit about my past, see how I handle myself, and see the kind of person I am: and they give me respect. It's nice, and I forgot how kind of funny but humbling it is to see guys bigger and stronger than me pay me respects.
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I actually didn't get to meet up with my friend, bummed me out and wasted 5 dollars. Turns out that sunday was a Seattle Marathon and it fucked up the bus routes. We're going to try again today!
Throughout the week, I've just kind of been existing: going to work every day for 8 hours, coming 'home' and drinking a bit before going to sleep, rinse and repeat. Today is my one day off and I plan on using it to hang out with my buddy. Hoping that when its all over I'll find a laundromat too so I can get my clothes cleaned at some point. I'm much less dirty than everyone else but I have a scent of sweat if you get close to me and take a whiff. Really self conscious about it.
Not much else to update on! I guess I've been making friends but thats covered by the everclear reply up there.
Just want to say that I've been inspiring me to keep going with my enlistment in the army. If you can experience all the shit you have and be able to come out of the other side alive, it makes me feel like military bootcamp is definitely something that I'm able to do.
I'm happy to have made a good recommendation, you drink like a true redneck now!
I have had chronic back pain my whole life and went through a daily pills/drinking at work phase just to pay the rent.
After a couple of years I couldn't manage it and lived in a cabover camper in my country cousins backyard for $300 monthly, surviving off low-pay jobs.
Now-a-days I'm living with my girlfriends parents, I feel like I was better off an alkie.
Sorry for blogpunching.
I'm happy I could inspire you! One of my goals in life is to use my experiences as a jumping board to try and help others, inspire them to take control of their life and never stop improving. Being kind and respectful and fighting for the life you believe in. I hope the military goes well for you :>
Hell yeah! I wish I knew about this stuff earlier, although I guess it was banned in Cali so I wouldn't have been able to drink it :p
I'm sorry you had to go through that, I can understand the sentiment of liking a vice, but if you were addicted to it/dependent on it, I feel like it's not as good to do so. I have a really healthy relationship with stuff like alcohol. Getting fucked up is always fun, taking something in moderation every night is good (I'm also in a lot of pain, so I used to pop tons of painkillers and sleeping pills when I first got here to America, although I think I managed it and was fine with kicking it cold turkey. I don't think I get addicted to things easily.), I can completely understand why it might seem like you were better off, and I honestly don't know your situation and how you handled it, so I can't be a solid judge of whether you were or weren't, but in general I think it's better to avoid doing vices unless you can moderate it. Living with your girlfriend's parents might seem humiliating, but I hope it is treating you well enough and I hope your life holds something better for you
Also I feel like, this thread was definitely started for me to try and get help, lay myself out and hope someone can help me get through these trying times (and boy are they trying), but it's as welcome as any other thread for people that want to just talk and can relate to my struggles. Life is complicated and sometimes it's good to talk to people that can listen.
So don't be sorry, you're just helping this thread keep going, and raising awareness of just how shit life can be for some people, and how we're all just trying to truck along despite it all!
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I had an AMAZING time yesterday with my friend, we've known eachother for years but this was the first time we've met in person. I feel absolutely giddy with how much fun I had. Walking around, talking, eating some food (he bought me a terayaki chicken thing). It was just a great time overall and I hope we can hang out again.
But! Now it's back to the old grind of 8 hour days (although with the transit time, it's more like 10-12 hour days, but I only get paid for about 8 and a half hours). 6 days a week of really repetitive boring "standing outside a door and saying hi" work. I feel like I'd RATHER have an actual job doing something menial like restocking or being a cashier, atleast I'd be DOING something. But whatever, I should be getting a check for around a thousand dollars this Friday, and should end up with over 2 thousand dollars by my birthday (January 7). That seems like a reasonable amount of money that gives me a lot more wiggle room to get things going, just have to survive and trudge myself through the month.
Hey, do you have paypal or something? Or something where you can recieve money?
I have a paypal, although people have been using other things to send me money. But I've said it before, and will say it again, to the people in this thread and even to the friends who have sent me money: I APPRECIATE sending me money, or wanting to. But unless I'm extremely hurting for money and have no way to get more, any money you send is just going to be a drop in the bucket compared to what I can make getting a job. Strawberry offered to send me about 15 dollars (20 in Canadian!), and a very near and dear friend of mines sent about 150 dollars (around 500-600 Reals! I've never had friends willing to dump that kinda stuff for me before! Insane!!!). I already feel terrible taking money from anyone, and while I appreciate what I've been lucky to get, I really don't need it that much? I can make 12 dollars an hour minimum just working at some job like I'm doing now, the problem isn't acquiring money but simply holding down jobs. It's why I never really asked for money in my original post, instead asking for a place to stay so I can keep my stuff safe, have a place to sleep (in some corner of the bathroom or under the stairs like a little smelly gremlin), and a place to bathe (like a little not-smelly gremlin). Because I need to stay presentable and know my stuff at the very least is in a place I can trust.
Again, if I'm desperate for money, I'll ask! But the money is better off going to something you'd like to use it for, I get about 1000 dollars in a few days. I really appreciate it though.
I feel, aside from the wonderful advice and support, the only real way someone can help me in this adventure is to just let me stay with them for a while. I really don't take up much space, just a corner of a room. I can sleep on the floor and I can subsist on very little food. I have a lot of skills that might be useful, like cooking and cleaning. Or if you need, I'm also pretty solid at handling street-level stuff, like making connections, protecting you from less than nice people, and in general just surviving in harsh urban conditions. If you want something a bit more personal, I can suck pretty mean dicks and I'm a very optimistic and strong willed person who sees beauty in everyone, and I'm willing to be a companion if you'd like to be. This shelter and the set-up I have now is good and all, but it's still less than what I'd prefer to have. The faster I can move up in the world, the better. I hope this thread has shown that I'm not some random asshole NEET who will mooch off you, I've been dragged through the shitter all my life and all I have is an abundance of love to give and a ton of experience and skills to keep going. I'm still desperate. Willing to do literally anything to keep going and get out of this life ASAP.
As always, responses in this thread or in private (in case you want to get more personal and talky, get to know me and such) are always appreciated. Thank you
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