Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles. V6
554 replies, posted
I know this is easier said than done but if you're dealing with people who would rather silently block you than actually talk to you or communicate their issue with you, then they aren't worth worrying about.
I'm not trying to downplay that this might have happened with people you cared about, but if someone does that to you then the best thing to do is move on, they clearly don't give enough of a shit to talk to you so why should you spend your time fretting over them, it sounds cliche but life is too short to worry about people that do this to you.
It may also depend on where you met said person, if it was through a dating app or online somewhere then this will probably happen a lot because its incredibly easy to have a throw away attitude to the people you meet because you can just replace them instantly.
You can never really too invested in a relationship that takes place mostly online or through your phone because there will always be a disconnect, there will always be shit like ghosting and getting blocked seemingly out of nowhere because if you don't know the person irl there's literally no consequences to doing so, at least if you've met or know the person irl then those actions become rarer because outside the internet those are real dickish things to do without good reason.
I'm only speaking from my own personal experience here however. Kind of why I've never put much faith in long distance relationships.
My anxiety is very high right now and it's making me fade out of the zone. I actually feel a bit nauseous. I messaged person of interest about possible plans and awaiting the response has got me going.
I remember I used to talk to this hispanic girl from Texas about a year and a half ago who seemed to like me and I liked her too, we used to get on pretty well until I added her on Snapchat and some shit went down. I ended up being blocked because I sent "I'm bored, someone talk" to her and she said "Are you only talking to me because I'm bored? Like fuck off" which really confused me, but I admit now it was a rude of me to send. I never bothered talking to her again until I went on my alt account on Facebook about 5 months after that happened just to send a textwall apologizing to her which she forgave me on and we were good again, it actually felt better than before. That was actually until I didn't answer her call because I didn't set up something in time, then she got all blunt and started going out with different boys over me. That really fucked up my anxiety and to be fair I'm actually glad I don't have to deal with that anymore, she made me really conscious over the fact that I was obsessive and treated her like a girlfriend when I thought we both liked eachother.
I've honestly had such a hard time with long distance relationships and I've never had a short distance relationship. Another problem of mine is that I'm such an opportunist that I just end up rejecting any other opportunities to get with a girl just to get that one girl I really want, but a lot of the time it just backfires and it sucks balls.
there's been good news with my friend. he was waking up on his own last night. i don't know the specifics but his mom texted earlier saying it'd be a "long road to recovery," but not much other detail. i don't know what doctors have told her.i'm gonna text her in a bit to see how he was doing today. can't think straight. i'm on 3 hours of sleep, pretty sure i'm getting sick. planning on driving to the hospital and seeing him again on tuesday. i'm still so nervous and so scared. i feel like i'm always about 3 seconds away from crying. had too much to drink last night and got real vulnerable on snapchat, lol whoops. been tring really hard to tell myself that if his mom is optimistic, i should be optimistic. but it's still tough.
why the fuck is it that when I'm feeling extremely anxious/depressed for weeks I have these completely random, very brief(like a few hours) kinda-manic episodes that I crash out of as suddenly and randomly as I crashed in.
Developed thrush today. Got an antifungle med - doc assured me my rash wasn't meningitis.
Took med. Have been watching rash vanish all day and my nerve pain gradually decrease....
Will continue to monitor but..... it seems to be meningitis.
Meningitis ain't fun, so I feel ya. Luckily I didn't get nerve pain or damage, but my memory is permanently fucked thanks to it and I still deal with fatigue from it.
Well, I could be jumping the gun. But the rash -is- going away, and it's been there for over a week and antibiotics did nothing.
I... have no idea what else this could be other then some kind of neurodegenerative issue which isn't fun.
ahh nothing kills my mood better than seeing someone chat in a group while not talking to me, saying days later that they where too busy to chat. I guess im just that fucking garbage that I'm put on hold for days at a time. Good thing I already knew they had gotten bored of me or I would have been even more upset.
Just wanted to say that I can relate with you. I used to chat with people online, I participated more on these forums and when things were looking a bit up, I also had some friends in real life that I met often. Nowadays, I don't talk to anyone. I don't have anyone I'd consider to be a friend in real life, nor do I actively chat with anyone online. I don't participate in any communities other than Facepunch and even here I'm pretty absent. The family cares about me and wants to chat but I never have much to say. I appreciate that of course, but it doesn't help that all it makes me feel is that I'm some sort of asshole who doesn't care about them due to the one way street relationship we got.
Luckily I got my SO but I wish I had more people to talk to. I feel like I've been lucky socially considering most people I talked to before seemed to genuinely enjoy my company. They reached out and wanted to hang, but at some point I started to ignore them. Which was a pretty big deal since I've always been bad at initiating contact. So as soon as I stopped replying, that was it. My anxiety gets the best of me when it comes to sending messages to others.
Facepunch, as dramatic as it sounds, is the only thing in my life that gives me some sort of social contact. So I've been a bit bummed over the slow death of the forums. People I enjoyed seeing on the forums are slowly disappearing and today, I don't feel at home here anymore. The community feels so different and serious compared to before and maybe it's just me, but it feels like people are more hateful now too. I keep coming here out of habit and because it's the only place I feel somewhat comfortable to participate in. Part of me is excited for Facepunch to die because maybe it'll push me towards improving my life. But a big part of me is anxious about it because it's my only reliable source of social contact.
It feels lonely to be in this situation but eh. It is what is.
Nope fuck it was just in therapy and she had me move my limbs around and my leg locked up midair and just stopped responding for 10-15 mins. Lots of seizures too.
Life is good.
Wish you the best of luck going forward with everything. I will pray things get better for you and you find some answers on why these shitty things have happened to you man, don't give up on us
friend is doing well. began breathing on his own earlier today. i'm terrified of long term brain damage. couple hours ago i collapsed into tears and screaming and a blood vessel in my eye broke, so now half of my right eye is red. planned on seeing him tomorrow but when i made appointments with doctors they both ended up being tomorrow so i might have to wait until wednesday. i'm feeling an emptiness and loneliness stronger than i've ever felt before.
I know jack all about epipens, but apparently it has a nice bonus of curing my head pressure for ~1 hour. Unfortunately, doesn't fix the other problems though.
Getting real sick of visiting therapist/psychs who don't give a shit and shove me off like any issues I have are no big deal. Not to mention my current psych just wants to toss me on more anti-depressants even though I take 40mg of Prozac already. Even when I attempt to make a point of saying that no amount of meds has helped me before, and neither has self-medicating with all sorts of narcotics, they keep throwing me off and saying that it's something which can be cured via drugs. I'm going to more then likely ego-death myself within the coming month or two, and if that doesn't allow me to reassemble myself, I'm probably just gonna take a walk into a nearby wooded area and keep walking till my legs give out.
Uuuuuurgh, in one of those drunk phases where I just want to hug people.
Seriously thinking of going to local church and seeing if they have a soup kitchen thing going.
I could do it, it fucking sucks being broke and hungry.
My friend is perfectly fine. Absolutely 0 lasting damage. I go to bed last night and he's in a coma, I wake up 4 hours later and i have fuckin texts from the guy. He came over and we walked and talked for over an hour. Just like, "Hey," just walkin and talkin in this bitch. I feel like my life has been handed back to me. I feel the stress melting out of my chest.
Lifes wack everythings boring, everything feels like work.
Any promising medical students/radiologists here want to tell me what's normal about this? I have no idea what it is, but certainly looks like it's bleeding.
Brother I'm going to be brutally honest here. I think you need to stop staring at these photos and looking for something. I know you're suffering, I really really wish you would feel better. But my very uneducated opinion is you're almost doing more harm by obsessing over these images. I know you want to be informed about what's happening in your brain and body, I am too. But there's being informed and then there's looking for problems. If you look for a problem you will inevitably find out.
I've experienced some serious health anxiety myself and it sounds like you're struggling with it too Darksoul. I thought something was up with my heart for a while so I did what I could to ease my mind, google it. I was hoping I'd figure out what was wrong or find some answers that told me that no, there's nothing wrong with me. Only thing that happened was that my anxiety worsened over time until it blew up on me. I had a panic attack while on drugs due to this anxiety and I was 100% convinced I was having a heart attack.
The aftermath wasn't pleasant. I kept having these panic attacks where it felt like my heart was choking. I had them while sleeping, when I was relaxing, when I was playing games, in social situations, pretty much everywhere. Every time it happened I was convinced that I was dying again. I kept googling and I kept researching to ease my mind but again, it only made it worse. When I didn't have my panic attacks, I had so many symptoms that kept the anxiety going. I could get light headed, my chest could feel tight, I could get itchy, my skin could break out in rashes, and so on. The worst part of it was that sometimes it felt like my entire left leg was choking from lack of blood and due to everything that had happened to me so far, it was easy to suspect a blood clot. It hurt so much I couldn't sleep at night.
I went to the ER and my doctor several times but they never found anything. Because there never was anything. It was all in my head. I realized that I had to stop fueling this anxiety or else it would never get better. So when I felt anxious about it, I didn't google it. I didn't do anything to ease my mind. Instead I focused on my breath and counted them, I tried to be aware of my surroundings like the weight of my body, the sounds around me, how my skin felt and so on. I let the feeling go through me and do its thing. Then it stops and the feelings go away.
This was not done overnight of course. I battled with this for about a year until it stopped bothering me as much. I still have my moments where that same anxiety spikes but I try to remain calm instead of finding ways to "fix" it. As far as my brain is concerned, I'm actually dying when it happens so it's understandable that it takes some time and effort until it calms down. To be honest, there's still a nagging little voice inside of me that keeps telling me there's something seriously wrong with my health but it's not as loud as it used to be.
Point is, by focusing on it, it won't get better. I understand that you want to ensure yourself that you're not going to die or have any serious illness crash down on you. But truth to be told, if it happens, it happens. There's nothing you can do about it, just like there is nothing I can do about me having a heart attack until it actually happens. Spending so much time and energy on it only leads to anxiety and if you're right about your health and worries, you'll be miserable up until the point it happens. There's nothing to gain from that.
I hear what you're saying and I'm going into the neurologist and not going to bring these up - I'll let him diagnose me.
At the same time I'm waking up after an hour of sleep feeling like I'm suffocating, like something's bleeding in my head and with a blood pressure of 106/35 @ 100bpm. Diastolic magically jumps to 80 when I sit up. So I dunno.
Just learned that my friend group that I have known for 3 years has been talking shit about me and has running jokes about me behind my back for the entire time and almost none of them actually enjoy my presence. Found this out 3 weeks before I graduate high school. Guess Ill die lol. what the fuck do I do now?
It was a self fulfilling prophecy , I let my
social anxiety make me awkward and was so afraid everyone hated me they ended up hating me
I had the same thing happen in highschool. It was pretty brutal finding out the people I thought were my friends for so many years just tolerated me out of pity.
Teenagers can be real assholes. And I want to believe that with age they'll get some maturity, but even the people I thought were my friends back then never apologised or admitted they did anything wrong.
Just cut your losses. It sucks and it hurts, but don't bother trying to figure out a way to be friends with people who don't want to be your friends. Not the best thing to hear but the truth isn't always fun.
Bruh Idk if I can cut my losses, I have no other friends and 3 weeks left in school and I am already lonely all the time and trying to lift myself out of depression.
Is it worth it in your head at all to try and salvage it? Do you think you could trust them again after being such assholes? I had the same thing happen to me but my friend group actually just one day stopped talking to me and never invited me to hang out again or reacted to me at school walking by. I cut my losses even though I had no other friends at all and honestly that's when I got pretty involved in online communities and joined an eve online/star wars galaxies clan and my life only got better from there as I learned to not care about cutting people out of my life that don't deserve my time in the slightest. Hope is not lost friend
Yeah I suppose its best to end it.
the worst part is their memes about me are all true and based on things I am insecure about or that I do that are shitty though, so maybe its my fault actually a little bit.
I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here for.
I think this is the week.
I know you might think you are past this but things really can be better, you can feel better. Why not try calling it?
I have, they're worthless in my eyes. They can't/don't do anything.
They also don't really help canadians out with any real usable info either
And our version of it is terrible too.
I've talked to my girlfriend, I've talked to my mom, I've talked to my therapist. I'm pretty sure this is the week. I'm just done.
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