Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v11 - She's totally into you edition
314 replies, posted
Well we hit our sweet spot, but let's get this love bug running again. Post your recent social interactions, your hookups, work your breakups, and exaplin why in a essay why Tinder didn't work for you. Unwind, rev up that dating profile, and let's get dangerous.
Little tip for those giving advice - be nice, be tactful, and be honest. Think before you post and if you're not 100% sure if you're right, don't post. There's nothing worse than the feeling of knowing that you fucked someone's situation up by giving the wrong advice. It also helps if you watch the 2005 film "Hitch" starring Will Smith, as it's essentially the love advice handbook. (I disagree but this was in the last OP so whatever) (Don't actually use Hitch as a guide, please for the love of God)
For those receiving advice - Don't be afraid to ask questions, but be receptive, be polite and don't complain if you hear something you don't want to hear. Half the advice given in this thread will be of the sort that the receiver will not be pleased about. Sometimes it is hard to hear the truth.
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Whoops for killing the thread. I'm gonna finish my thought though, I was gonna add something else but the thread autolocked
This was kind of my attitude until recently but then a girl confessed that she was into me after I told her she was pretty. I wasn't deliberately trying to woo her or anything, it just sort of happened. and now we've been dating for almost a month now
Just being comfortable with yourself might be the best thing to do.
But how do you get to that point, though?
Best advice is to just let it happen naturally and slowly know you cant put up a farce for the rest of your life. I mean why be someone else why you can be you? The one you've always been. Forcing it as someone else will lead you to heartbreak and expectations that arent possible.
i don't know if i posted this before but my mom brought up something that might be advise? If you want to have your significant other to live with you make sure you don't add them to the lease for awhile if you live in a apartment. Because if you do and they break up with you, ether badly or not and they move out. They be break the lease that may end up in eviction or you have to take them off the lease, which you may have to go to court or the the management to get them off.
So I mentioned this kick ass wrestling lady from a new circle of friends, and let me tell ya, she is something, and I think she could be into me. In one of our conversations she mentioned a store that's popular with cougars. 'Wet and dry cougars of all sizes' she says. What's a dry and wet cougar?' I ask because this was the oddest way to describe wetness on a select group. After that a line that looked like "At one point, I'll let you know." Then there are times where she messages me a lot and at some points of the week will travel around to meet up with our group or me on a good day(good day as in when I feel like hanging out). Then there is the selfless gift.
Riddle me this; am I reading too hard into this, or am I really the densest motherfucker on Earth?
By taking control over your life and start making moves
If for example you don't appreciate your physique, start eating healthier and exercising: your shape will improve but most importantly your self esteem will be boosted
Also, accept that some things are beyond your control and try not to give into thoughts of despair. If a certain person doesn't like you or vice versa, don't force a conversation. Don't try to change yourself to please others
did you figure this one out?
Hey y’all, lookin to get an opnion on a recent situation. There’s this girl i met at work (customer not co-worker) and we really hit it off, so much so before i could give her my number, she gave me hers! We text each other quite a bit that night after i clock out, and the very next day we schedule a date. We go to an escape room puzzle and it’s super fun! (Good way to get comfortable talking to someone is to solved timed puzzles :v ) and by the end of the puzzle she was leaning on me and sitting in my lap whole we read through a final riddle together, after the game we took a pic and then got some cheap dinner near by and chatted it up for an hour before she called a ride then kissed me good night and got in her uber. She said that she had fun and not to be shy and text her to hang out again. So all and all 10/10 first date in my book.
then through out the week we small chat and text back and forth, so about a week and half later i invite her out to an arcade and for several hours i get no response, then i get “can’t “ and i told her its fine, always another time etc. another 2 weeks go by and we continue chatting and i mention that a punk band is playing and if she’d wanna go, again silence, up until 2 hours before the show “wish i could but super busy, thank you though” (Still went by myself was pretty fun) so then i send her this message “It’s all good, the holiday season is always hectic! Feel free to hit me up, if theres ever something you wanna do, or if you just want to hang out 😊” to kinda put the ball in her court. Was i wrong doing this? I think she’s real sweet but it’s just a bit hard to get her to get outta her house to hang out. (And going to her place ain’t an option really, she lives in a sober living house with all gals, so i can’t stay the night or anything) i just don’t wanna seem like a pest but do wanna hang out more!
You're completely fine, that last message makes things loud and clear that you are interested. I'd say don't reach out any further and wait until she says something.
So, so sick of Tinder. A few years ago the girls I'd message would be outgoing and easy to talk to. Now I've been in a relationship for two years and come out, they all seem really on-guard and conceited. What happens between the ages of 18-21 for this to happen? Are adults just conceited, or is this a problem of the 1990's generation? I can't really tell.
For the first time in like 5 years I'm getting that 'so ronery time to read embarrassing greentext stories so that I can feel better in comparison' feeling and I really just don't want to go back help
How about you massage her back? Reciprocate on what she does? Also to be honest, I'm having trouble understanding exactly what went down with that store. But yeah it sounds like she could be into you.
Should i still send her just small chat texts? Cause since i sent the message above it’s been radio silence
Sounds to me like it's better to move on, if she responds that's a nice surprise but there's no point in carrying on a conversation alone.
You might have latched on too much. Investing so much emotionally into a person you barely know like that is going to hurt you more often than not.
Honestly I feel at this point Tinder is more of a tool for an ego boost for a majority of people rather than a dating app. I have met some legitimately interesting people on there but a lot of terrible people. I ditched it long ago because it almost felt like a damn chore just to have a basic conversation with someone on there. It is just super frustrating over all.
Be exasperated by dating I guess. that's what happened to me.
is the only way to make a friend to force yourself into someone elses life? Am I extremely unlikable and a lot less self aware than I think I am? Will I ever stop feeling sorry for myself? Find out next week....
that's how I feel as well a lot of the time. I don't wanna text people too much, because I feel like I annoy them, so I just end up never talking to people
why dont they text you? Why don't they want to be YOUR friend?
Sure should I start with the shoulders?
In honesty I think I'll start somewhere soon to talk to her about her feelings if she's just being super friendly or there is something going on and I'm not catching it. She's also kind of emotional as she tends to get very upset about minor things like venting, people being rude, and creepy dudes chatting her up.
I'm starting to see a pattern of the women I tend to wind up with.
I am finally starting to get over my habit of changing who I am when there are people around who I don't connect or get along with. For context in my current job I work with a bunch of people who are over the age of 40 and I am 21. I can only describe all of them, except one, as your typical middle Americans who only like to talk about small talk stuff like weather or sports and are generally closed minded. Me personally small talk drives me absolutely insane. I can do small talk when first getting to know someone but I can't stand when its the only thing ever talked about. Generally when ever you go out of those bounds with them they either just ignore you, talk over you, change the subject, or if your my boss just walk away without saying a word. This triggered some of my PTSD from my childhood abuse because it brought feelings up in me that my dad did. It made me feel like my opinion or me just in general wasn't wanted. So I just kinda shut down and stayed silent but that was killing me emotionally. I finally came to the realization that I just can't shut myself off and close my personality off because the people I work with just don't relate or connect to it. I just have to be more selective of my interactions.
Went to a Christmas party with all my friends, and while it was fun to chat and watch holiday movies, the highlight was my friend getting drunk and being unable to drive home so she and a friend that rode with her stayed at my place on the couch and chairs until she got better. Got to say this was a first to have take care of a drunk friend until the next day after having one too many drinks. The crown topper was that she was apparently fine with her drinks, but someone offered her some special ale after the fact and then she passed out and then did the usual motions of being drunk. Suffice to say next time I do these events with her we'll need to either cut down the drinks or bring none at all.
And I hope I'm getting over my tendency to take what everyone says at face value. I was playing the Spirits Board in Smash Bros and a roommate walked in saying "What kind of mobile game waifu bullshit is this??", I took it seriously and got embarrassed. But hours after I'd left, I went back downstairs to see him playing the very same mode, exclaiming "dude there's spirits that evolve at level 100!"
Well she hit me back
Guess who got a reply! She told me “sorry for not getting back to you sooner, things have been stressful with me and the roommates atm. So been locking myself in my room after work. Would you wanna go grab lunch somewhere next week after i get paid?” Was really glad to hear back from her . But you are still right that i shouldn’t hedge all my bets on one gal!
IMO it's fine to keep your interest singular. I dedicate my romantic efforts to one person after the first date or two until our relationship seems more clear. What I meant is that you should try to hold yourself back as much as possible regarding romantic expectations until you feel the certainty of an intimate relationship coming up.
Theres nothing wrong with going after just one imo. I personally don't like going after more than one person at a time. I feel its just too much to go after more than one and its easier to string people along and hurt them on accident.
Yeah I didn't mean to imply that you should date several persons at a time. Just that for the first few dates it's better to temper expectations and not to get too invested. At this stage, your date may still be flaky or ghost you at some point, so you have to be prepared for that.
Okay yeah, fuck it.
I just broke up with my girlfriend of 11 months. Never been in a relationship so long lasting but it's ended, at least for now.
I confessed my feelings to her and said some really big things, which was fine I think, but there were also other texts from me like two days after that had some signs of desperation going on, and my head's been going fucking crazy for the past week or two and I wanted to talk to her but she can't talk right now, and so that is why I said sorry for the weird texts and that I need a break from all of it too.
The last time we saw each other at my place, a week ago, we both fucking cried and she told me she had been crying for an entire week straight basically, and I'm sad because this is all because of some stupid fucking insecurities on my part that made me push her away, and I'm even more sad because we also had a really good time with her and I worked hard to be more confident for and with her and she really liked me, and it felt good. The year went by pretty fast too, with both of us working and attending our own few events, and still found the time to watch, in the following order, Hannibal, Marco Polo and The Boardwalk Empire, and about 5 episodes of The Wire and half a season of Mad Men which was underway when we broke up. Plus we saw at least 3 movies in the theaters, went to a museum twice (we discovered we were both museum-card owners) which we both enjoy as she likes to see the things and I like to collect the ones I like to my Google Photos (with the true love of my life OnePlus6) and we also attended one party together, but only one. Only two of my friends had even seen her by the time we broke up, but we had a plan to go to two more parties that happened within the last few weeks. We also got to play around with dogs quite a lot. One summer evening we sat on these rocks outside and blew soap bubbles into the air, and as I smoked my joint I blew smoke bubbles. The bubbles even reached and caught the attention of some other small group of people in the distance, and it was cool.
I should have given her the space and time earlier when she was feeling really down, and now with a bit of delay I'm feeling really down. Cried hard. But at this point, only time can tell. Right guys?
SO! Now that I'm done with that, I discovered this new thing called Tinder tonight. I'm not even sure what drives me right now and if I'll just end up hurting myself or exhausting myself even more. But I've always been curious about Tinder and want to try, with as little emotion attached as I can like the emotional bastard that I am. I got some matches and I've entered a conversation with some girl, woopdidoo. Thank you for reading this shit.
I would advise you to take a break from dating for a little bit, dont hurt yourself
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