Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v11 - She's totally into you edition - General

I think a regular customer can, but you have to really think about how long the interactions are. If you have a cashier smiling at you and giggling at stupid jokes you make for like 30 seconds a interaction. If you come into the store at least 3 times a week that is a 1 min 30 seconds of interaction per week. That is less than 10 minutes a month of interaction. Might be overthinking it, but 10 minutes broken up over 4 weeks is nothing. You learn nothing about a person really, unless they are making some really strong passes at you. I can tell you most of my cashiers are female, only two of them are male. The female cashiers deal with being hit on regularly, they usually laugh and pass it off, but they talk mad shit after the person leaves. There have been some guys that were pretty attractive to the cashiers, but once he started hitting on one of them they didn't really care all that much for him. The cashiers start getting really annoyed when they get that customer who is blatantly trying to hit on them and constantly goes through their lines. They find it really creepy when they come in and make it a point to only go through their lines. I find that the female customers are a little bit more forward about their interests, I've had a female customer make some pretty blatant passes on me. She even went as far as to make up questions to just talk to me. What happened to me never really lead to anything though because I was dating someone at the time.

Really, someone who is used to being hit on like a waitress will sure as shit let you know if sparks are flying, but if it's just general banter and flirting, I wouldn't get my hopes up.

I'm just gonna casually say it at the end after I pay for the meal that if she isn't seeing someone I'd love to take her out sometime, no pressure. That gives her an easy out if she's not interested (oh I'm currently seeing someone//have a boyfriend) and it's not awkward since I'm going to be leaving afterwards and I'm fine either way with her answer. I'm definitely not going to put her under pressure and I'm going to read if there's any connection before asking. I know what it's like to be put in uncomfortable situations so I'm gonna just be fun and friendly and not make it seem like I'd be devastated or something. Also I'm not going to keep coming back with the intention to see her since that's creepy as fuck so really it's just a small aside that she can react to if she's feeling it.

The smoking girl is amazing.

I thought I would be over this girl by now considering we technically split in September but I guess since we continued talking until about Decemberish, it's not really helping the process. The last social network I still have her on is Instagram and every time I see her picture come up in the stories list, it feels like I got shot in the chest. I can't bring myself to block her considering we were supposed to remain friends. I don't know how she's handling this whole thing. I'd like to ask but I probably wouldn't get a response. Maybe someone will have to take my phone and block her for me.

Just wanna second this. I've worked a lot at an italian diner with some very pretty co waiters and you wouldn't believe how out of touch people look when they are hitting on someone who is literally in no position to tell you to piss off if they happen to not be interested. Think about the perspective of the girl for one second and you will realize that hitting on your waiter is not cool in any way, it's blatant abuse of power in the most pathetic way possible.

From experience, its almost always best to cut that contact. It's almost never the same after and there really isn't much to be to be gained. Most people do it because they still wanna hold onto something even though it can't happen. If you're bothered like this, just go no contact and remove her from social media. If she reaches out and ask, just be honest and say you needed the time to cope.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot. I'm about to write my application for uni to study psychology. As I write this application, I am to include any and all work experience I have within this field. I'm currently planning on including my work as a substitute teacher, as that job included working with children with special needs. However that's where my experience ends. Now, here's the thing: I've been told to pad up my application and put in things I don't actually have experience with, to artificially extend the list. I am a bit suspicious of this, since there's a decent chance that if I am considered to be a viable candidate for psychology, I might be called into an interview, and during said interview, they'd likely ask me about my work experience. What should I do? My gut tells me to stick to what I've actually experience with, or should I include a little white lie?

while its ok to maybe inflate what you did with wording, I would not make anything blatantly up

Be honest, be bold, claim the work you have done (and all of it, no matter how inconsequential), don't defer to or mention others as a general rule, especially if it makes your contribution seem insignificant, is the advice I give students applying for graduate jobs at big companies. If you lie, they will catch you out.

Why do you need work experience to study at uni in the first place? It's the other way around, usually.

Whoever thought this would be a good idea? Anyways, working with children is great experience and clearly you have experience and tendency towards the psychology field? Which is great. I would say try to highlight the work experience as something that seemingly supports your decision of pursuing psychology field. Do not lie about your experience. At least I wouldn't. However, what I would do, is try to emphasize and highlight whatever (little?) experience you have, and how perhaps working with children coincided with your interest in the moral development and growing up of child individuals. What I'm trying to do here is make it sound like I mean business, which will not go unnoticed when applying and getting interviewed I'm sure, right?

Just be open with her and tell her you need to cut off contact for a while. Cutting all chatter will help you in the long run and let you feel better about what has happened. It is such a clique to do the whole "let's be friends still" thing. I learned that the hard way. Once you feel better and you no longer feel the way you do about her then try and talk to her. But, in reality people need time away from each other. Nothing wrong with that. Do what you need to do to get better and don't worry about anyone else (including her). Sounds selfish as fuck, but it's the truth. She can sort herself out and you need to sort yourself out.

Can someone explain love to me? I'm high-functioning autistic so my interpretation of others and my own feelings is frustrating. There's this woman I met in college who said she got feelings for me (still has), but I don't feel anything such as an uneasy stummick, heartburn, etc. What do I feel however is an obsessive interrest in her and that I want to be with her because that makes me happy, yet nervous. The difference between her and other women is that she's the only one I give a shit about. And I've had lots of female friends, but I feel different towards her. The weird part is that even though we have the same humor, and general interrests, our morales, opinions, lifestyle are entirely different. She can even be seen as crazy because she's a far-right conspiracy theory nutcase, and her knowledge of things is almost non-existant; but yet she is a good person. But still I'm obsessed over her. I don't get it. According to my friends back in college they thought she had a mediocre apperance, and she could almost be classified as a dwarf because she's the smallest girl I've ever seen in real life. But I still find her more beautiful than any other woman, but yet no sexual attraction to her (maybe due to depression and medication?), I just want her close. What the hell is this?

You've got a crush, my dude. Go on a date or something. Just be aware that I would say that is not love in the same way long term partners experience it. I would consider that infatuation, which will inevitably fade over time. How things are after that point is love, imo.

In Denmark, when applying for a spot at uni, you can do through two different channels: Quota 1 is the most common, and through this channel, you're judged solely on your grades. It's usually the easiest and most straightforward, however if you lack the grades to actually be accepted, then you obviously can't use this way. Here's where the second channel comes in: Quota 2 is much more practical. Through this channel, you have to send in an application as if you're trying to get a job. You have to write a resume wherein you argue why you should be allowed to get in, and as part of this resume, you need to include a CV, where you obviously write about your work experience. It's actually a good system, and it's often said (and is actually largely true) that quota 2 applicants are more dedicated and harder working than quota 1 applicants. However, they obviously have a tougher time getting accepted, since they can't just rely on their good grades to get them in. They actually have to put in effort to convince the university that they will make a good candidate. @Metallics When you say "claim the work you have done", do you really mean all work? I'm currently working as a deputy manager in a bed store, and that's hardly relevant to my application. ;V

Quota 2 students willl also in general be older and naturally have more work experience(ethic) than quota 1 students. @G-Man If you've held a job for a long period of time that is obviously not your intended direction in life that says a lot about your work ethic and is valuable personal information to pass on in an application. If you just leave an empty space of X years it's gonna look just as bad as it would on a regular job application because they will most likely assume the worst(That you have been doing fuck all)

in my experience any work is good work. it may not seem like it but working part-time jobs still yields certain types of skills like teamwork, time management, interacting with customers, etc. that may not seem like they are directly relevant but prove that you've been around and have experience interacting with others and presenting yourself in a professional manner.

If you are interested in her, like her and the feeling is mutual then go for it and see what happens. Depression and medication can really suppress sexual desires. There are people who legitimately can't get aroused or erect because of the medication they're on. I don't believe in that love at first sight nonsense, i find that you like someone or are interested in them. Usually it grows from there.

one of my roommates has been hitting on my ex who I am quite definitely and obviously still in love with all night and wow if I thought I felt depressed and shitty before

Didn't end up going back to that restaurant to see that waitress. Honestly kind of depressed now. I wish it was easier to fake confidence so I could chat women up, but I know whenever I try that I end looking like an awkward robot trying to speak human language because I'm uncomfortable and not confident. I've never really had the desire to talk to strangers just for "fun" so if I do chat someone up it's going to be awkward since I'm faking the desire to talk and fighting through my desire to withdraw. The only reason I'd want to talk to a random woman is to see if they'd be a potential partner; I have way too many friends to manage as it is so I don't need more, and talking to strangers isn't enjoyable and is just draining. I also rarely feel like it's ever appropriate to approach someone, so I don't approach women I think are attractive, and when I get the inkling that maybe it's the right time I chicken out because I'm afraid I'll inconvenience the person or look like a tool. I'm still too uncertain to do online dating and I don't know the optimal site to do it on, I've heard so many shitty stories from friends with various daring sites and I don't like how it boils down to gaming a system to get your foot in the door. I'm just a tangled ball of anxiety and apprehension at this point. I wish gender roles weren't so widespread so women would approach guys more often, at this point even if an incredibly unattractive woman approached me I'd probably still give her a chance just because she tried.

At least you were honest. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't the easiest thing to do.

This one girl I get along with super well has me a little confused. We do tons of shit together, always hang out and text each other constantly, but she's got a man. I wouldn't even know he existed if she wasn't tagged in a pic with him. Why has she hidden his existence from me?

Oh yeah, I'm 100% fine with us just being friends, I was just curious.

Ask her. Seriously, being honest about doubts and feelings is never a mistake, if it offends them there is probably a reason for that and you should be even more glad you asked. It probably won't and you'll get an answer that sets your mind at ease and you won't have a nag in the back of your mind.

Anybody feel like helping a brother out with his tinder profile? Tinder sucks but is also the only good way to meet women around here so yanno

West Lafayette is your state's most populated city, and it only has 45000 people? Man, you weren't kidding. Just Nashville and Murfreesboro here in Tennessee have nearly a quarter of a million people combined. (I'm, uh, probably going to move to one of those two cities as soon as I get out of school and secure an IT job. I can't stay where I am if I want to have any real hope of meeting people like myself. Nobody my age who is progressive wants to stay in non-urban Tennessee.)

well WL is definitely not the largest city in Indiana so I don't know where you got that statistic from It's not the worst down here meeting women in-person but I'm just extremely bad at a) reading social cues from girls and b) being able to make moves

Sorry, misread the wikipedia article. It's the most densely populated city in your state, not the city with the largest population.

You should try including a little bit about what you actually like to do. You mention photography, maybe you could just expand on that (what you like to photograph, where, camera enthusiasm?) Expand on your musical endeavors. What do you play? Maybe actually have a bad joke on your profile, not just say you like them. (professional tinder long term dater, with 4 relationships lasting 5 months, 1 of which is still going at 8 months and has no plans of stopping, and one which is still going at 4 months and also seems likely to continue going for quite some time)