Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v11 - She's totally into you edition - General

this is definitely an everywhere thing, i don't know anyone that goes to the gym to socialize. usually the only people talking are people that came together at least at my university gym

Im going to counter this by saying that people tend to go to the gyms to better themselves, and feel embarrassed to some extent about it, so people don't really socialize. When I go to the gym with my friends, even we don't really interact inside

Yeah I don't get why people say gym is a good place to meet people. I mean, you can meet new people anywhere, but odds are if they are there to workout, they're gonna be focused on that.

That actually looks pretty dope.

I don't know if my gym is special or anything, but I've had some reasonably extensive social interactions there, actually.

I've seen those signs and I've wondered what exactly a "Unitarian Universalist" church is.

So I did check up the Church in my city, it was a nice experience. They've very welcoming and I experienced a lot of nostalgia for when I went to church as a kid with my parents. I might go again in the future. Unfortunately, like 75% of the people there are over 50 and I was probably the youngest person in attendance that wasn't a kid with their family so haha not the best place to find people my age.

It's the same at my local church. We're a town of around 20 thousand in the middle of Tennessee. Not too many open minded people here except for old timers who have lived for decades. People my age, understandably, flee to Nashville or Memphis, if they don't move out of state entirely.

Well I'm glad I went. Only downside is that the service itself was kind of boring but it was also very relaxing so I might just go again for a little boost in social interaction every week.

I guess we have more interesting speakers at my church than you do. If the church you attended has a regular pastor, that might be why. We don't have one since my uncle retired, so we have someone different nearly ever week. Since I started going, I've heard talks on everything from weed to the importance of public libraries carrying banned books.

Yeah I think that might be why which is kind of ironic when you think about it haha.

Speaking to a girl on Bumble throughout the evening, hours into our chat she asked if I play any instruments, I say "yeah bass", she replies "Sorry that's a red flag" and unmatches me. What

I guess she did you a favor if she was a big enough dumbass to think playing a certain instrument means anything at all.

Must have been one of those band geeks who judge people by the instruments they play. It's funny how these were just band jokes in school but this is taking it a little too far. Bet she dates drummers.

I think she was just looking for a "funny" (to her) way to unmatch, I doubt she unmatched solely cause of bass. That or she wasn't taking it seriously at all to begin with and really hates bassists. Maybe her ex was a bassist.

bacism

Dating equivalent of Metallica's ...And Justice for All

Two of the three girls I ever dated have been engaged within the last months. I like to think that I was the disaster that lead to their true love. I'm such a good person. Waiting for the third girl to get engaged any second now.

^ How long has it been since you were with them?

I have a date this Saturday! But I came down with a cold or something last night. Come on, immune system. Help a brother out.

Stay warm, don't take any NSAIDs, drink lots of water.

Don't fall into that rabbit hole my guy

I chatted up a girl at a party yesterday who normally I would be nervous to approach due to feeling like she might be too good for me and that felt pretty good. She talked about a master's degree and for once I didn't think "Oh fuck okay she's probably smarter than me as well as really pretty I don't know what I'm doing" I just enjoyed talking to an intelligent person about what they like. I won't pretend that I took her home, but I did end up with some of her social media handles and a demand to see her again soon after she got a bit physical to imply what she meant by that. It just goes to show the difference between looking for someone and being obvious versus just working on being comfortable in your own skin, I wasn't even dressed nice like I normally try to do I was literally in semi ironic playboy trackpants and a looney tunes tee that "chillness" and confidence is what got me there.

I chose to end a three-year relationship this weekend. It's so difficult because there isn't an objective sign that flashes up to say "time to breakup". There just comes a point where you have to look within yourself and figure out whether the relationship is still working for you, and I couldn't say that it was. Despite that, there were still things that I loved about her and I feel grief that she will no longer be part of my life. Having to break up with someone you still care about fucking sucks, because you have to put them through horrible pain and misery, and part of you says it would be so much easier to just bury your doubts and stay with them for a little bit longer to see if things can change. It had been in my mind for a while, but it happened so suddenly and unexpectedly in the end. And now I have no one flashing up on my phone, no one asking how my day has been. It's liberating to have no one relying on me, but it's been so long since I had no one to rely on. Trying to do decent self-care stuff, eat somewhat healthily, get outside (especially with amazing weather in the UK this weekend) and will probably take advantage of a few free counselling sessions I can get through my uni. This too shall pass

Same situation for me not too long ago. It ain't easy, especially after spending so much time with a person. The hardest part for me has been meeting new people, but I'm working on it. The counselling will help, you'll bounce back in no time and have more knowledge and experience to make you even stronger.

This seems like only somewhat the right place to ask about this, but I guess it's as good as any. I turned 30 this year and just immediately started hella balding. It's hitting me like a truck and giving me some concerns about my looks. I feel like, looking from the front, you can't really tell, and I pretty much look totally normal. But when you get an above view, you can see it thinning in a gross sporadic pattern. I saw an above view of myself in a security camera today, and it's an angle I rarely see, and it was kind of a wake-up call. Since I was a kid I've told myself if I ever start to go bald, I don't want to be one of those guys who tries to embarrassingly hide it with a combover or some other shitty hairstyle when everybody can clearly see his situation. I'd rather not be a guy who wears hats all the time, because to me that'd just feel like another way to hide it instead of facing it. So what do people here think is the best solution? Anybody else dealing with a similar situation? Should I just go full-on shaved head, or what? Because while I think it's really embarrassing and shameful to try and hide what's obviously happening, I do also think this amount/distribution of hair looks gross.

Hang in there my man, I'm busy this morning but I'll write something up later

Long story short, last year I moved to my Brothers after living at home for..since I was born. And I had to move back a few days later because I fell into a deep depression and was extremely homesick. So far we've changed it up a bit to make it easier for me, so instead of "moving" I am just visiting for an extended stay. So instead of taking everything, I just take the stuff I would use, and so far it's been working well, I stayed a fortnight at my brothers then came back home for the Holidays. I am feeling pretty good about going back up but I can spouts of Homesickness (even tho I am at Home), I was wondering if you guys had any tips and tricks I can use for helping with homesickness.

So there's this guy I hung out and cuddled with at a convention I attended last weekend. About a week before hand he noticed I had left a few groups due to frustrationnand asked if I was ok. So first night we went back to my hotel room and snuggled in bed and did all kinds of things like call me little foxy Pat pat pat and all kinds of daddyfur types of stuff. Needless to say it made me feel much better and certainely helped with my anxiety and stress. I had asked if he was single and if he wanted to be my "snepdad" and I said maybe I might think about it. So for now it's at that point and Ive thought about planning a trip to his city on a long 4th of July weekend and get to know him better and maybe advance further. Does anyone have tips for this kind of thing? He said he's open for a relationship in the future but I don't want to push too hard and have it fall apart. People like him are incredibly hard to come by.

Sorry I think most of this thread specialises in human relationships. Jokes aside, I mean, seems like he might be wanting a more casual relationship? I'm not really into furry lingo, so "call me little foxy Pat pat pat and all kinds of daddyfur types of stuff" and "snepdad" have somewhat unclear implications to me, but "maybe I'll think about it" is obviously fairly non-committal, and I suppose you live quite far from each other, considering you're planning to go in July. With that said, seems like you sprung the question (assuming "snepdad" implies a relationship) pretty early, so really not anything weird in being non-committal. He also sounds nice, seeing as how he was looking out for you. But have you guys agreed that you should go July, and what were the implications? If you wanna get in a relationship, I suppose you should really try to meet up with him sooner rather than later, and try to get to know him better. You should also really consider the long-term prospects, as LDRs are not real options to most people.