Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v11 - She's totally into you edition - General

I mean that sounds like a bit of a red flag to me - and well, if you’re not prepared to take care of a kid, nothing serious can probably come out of that relationship. Don’t get in over your head.

I would have instantly told her to suck my tiny penis if she wants some money. What the FUCK is she even thinking/expecting?? Some suck-off to get free money from? Lmao, bitch should get serious.

So you've known her for less than a week, she asks to borrow money, gets indignant when you say no and tries to guilt-trip the FUCK out of you, right? And you're not immediately bailing out because...?

I didn't want to react immediately, but I definitely cut down on the chatter. But, I thought about it some more and I feel like I'm just going to cut if it off. The way you put it, is exactly how I felt. I just needed downtime to process it, today is my only day off between work and school. Thanks for hearing me out guys.

So there's this super qt π at my work that I asked out a couple days ago and she said yes, the date itself isn't actually until the 29th because I asked her if she'd like to go see a musical with me and that's the date it starts Now my question is should I start talking to her at work and maybe get to know her a bit better before the date or just wait and do it all at once because it does feel kinda awkward when I see her and neither of us really say anything; it really doesn't help that we're both awkward as fuck tl;dr Should I take some initiative

just let it come about naturally, try to be more confident when you're around here though, make the effort to talk to her and have a laugh if you're both awkward then not talking much isn't so bad, if she was really extroverted then her not talking to you could be bad, but chances are she's just thinking the same thing you are bear in mind that you'll probably a lot more comfortable around each other after the date, you'll be able to warm up to someone in a more comfortable environment where you aren't at work

So the dinner date went well, but because of some unprecedented drama from some people we know we hardly went anywhere. Took me and her out of the mood most of the time before I delved into anything yet. Will plan to try again soon the next time we have a 1-on-1. Now the next thing on the agenda is to find out if my friend is really suicidal or just being super dramatic... I pick the oddest of friends. It's like my personality attracts the most peculiar people or maybe it's just my luck.

Talk to her.

From my personal experience that behavior needs to be nipped in the butt right away. Heartbroken or not what he is doing is really uncalled for, he is manipulating people for his own sake. I've dealt with someone like that before and it just doesn't go away on its own. It actually got worst in my case because we tried to help the guy but it only made him become more angry and vindictive. I wouldn't entertain any of his requests if he has to guilt trip you or her. The more you do it, the more he knows he can get what he wants. Let him cool off and deal with his own shit.

I agree with Mr-X he is trying to guilt the poor girl into dating him is what It seems like. Getting rejected is shitty but it gives no excuse to be shitty in return.

I mean... not really? It's just a part of life right... She isn't being shitty to him, if she doesn't want to date him that's her choice, there's nothing to return...

Not really what I meant. What I mean is it feels shitty to be rejected wasn't implying that she had any obligation to appease him, because she doesn't at all. It may be a fact of life but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt especially when you really liked the person. Again to reiterate, it doesn't justify his attempt at manipulating her and the friend group.

I'm either picking every girl that just isn't into me or I'm just not attractive enough. It's not a huge deal: I'm much more focused on college, working out, piano, and getting my shit together, but it sort of messes with my self-image when pretty much every girl I've shown interest does not reciprocate it. Maybe its meant to be: the less focused I am on girls the more focused I am on my lifetime goals, which in reality is way more important to me. It just sucks to see that I've never had much luck. It's entirely possible that I'm just in a small town and haven't really done much to go outside of it. I just can't help but think there's something I'm doing wrong. I feel confident, I show interest, I put myself together well, I have stuff to talk about, and I like getting to know people. We'll see. Hopefully I can work it out. It's not a huge deal, but a bit irritating because I think it would make me a happier person knowing that someone is also willing to reciprocate interest in me.

You're not alone on that one. I find social media isn't good for emotional health especially when you're going through a rough time.

Honestly, finding someone genuine is more of a game of chance rather than a game of "being the attractive." If you are hygienic (brush your teeth, shower, shave, etc) and are kind and respectful to others, it's likely nothing with you then, just bad luck/low odds. Keep at your own hobbies snd activities, and take opportunities to share them (I play piano too,, and I like to playsmall competitions, play in public, offer to teach others the basics). I promise that by meeting new people while fulfilling what you want to do with yourself, its not a matter of if, but when you click with someone.

I do not take it personally or let it get to me. Just like me, other people have preferences. Sometimes I do not fit that profile they are looking for. I completely get it does leaving you feeling discouraged, but I am not going to change who I am for someone else. Don't let it get you down, finding someone and actually having a meaningful relationship is hard. It's just a lot of people get lucky and do not understand that for some people it takes a lot. Hang in there dude, I've been on the market for over a year now. Have had 2 good meetups, only for them to fall flat. Talked to a lot of different people, had maybe a dozen or so meaningful conversations and either I lost interest or they ghosted. I do not mind being alone so I think that is what helps me. I also do not get caught up in social media, I have it, but I do not let it consume me. I usually use it to share stuff or talk to my friends over messenger. I try not to compare myself to others in the aspect of life or where we are at in it. My path is totally different than someone elses and the results will be different along the way.

Okay, all bets are fucking off with this guy. Spoiler tag for possible uneasy feelings. Not only has this dude, who I'm tagging as "Agent N", has gone off to tell me that he has a second persona, one of which is an "Alter" form(which he "explains" is why he acted so scary yesterday) that hates the cold so he went outside today in 13 degree weather (I heard the wind from his phone call), but even from the details to apologize to everyone and then cool off without the internet, he's repeatedly called and text my crush and K about restarting N's relationship with her. Went as far as wanting to get her panties to "release the tension he has" or a another chance to hang out so he can talk to her in person. My friend went on to call me that it's scaring her and has removed all contact with him permanently. This is getting out of control even without intervention, and if he tries to call again and not change a thing I'm blocking him too. He's about to become a mini-Frollo and I have no clue where to go from there or how to end it.

this dude is bad news and he needs the boot now. Just my two cents but the way you're describing it there's no reason to keep any form of contact with him. Your friend and crush should do the same.

Block. Him. Immediately. Focus on you and the girl you are interested in. Do not let the drama distract from developing a relationship. Just be cool and collected about it. For real, nothing good will come out of trying to save him or deal with his ass. If this dude was respectable, or even a real friend he wouldn't act this way. Yeah, it is natural to get hurt and be pissed about shit, but you do not act like this. He is making shit up to try and justify his behavior. He is throwing anything out to see if it sticks. Both of you should cut off contact and not allow him any chances. If he becomes dangerous, confrontational, or even to the point of stalking - call the police.

What's funny is that hes closer to me in location than her. So unless he swings the other way too, or if he really has a grudge now, he'd come for me than anyone he knows. But then again I sincerely doubt he's the stalking type or a guy who wants to be confrontational so I'm not worried about that.

So, uh, there's this woman that works at the supermarket and she packages stuff. The first time I went to the checkout line she came and greeted me with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Second time she came rushing and delivered the same smile. Thing is, that smile, that simple thing made me feel something warm inside. Going to her and asking her name can't harm anyone, right? I don't want to appear like a freak or something.

Considering she's at work, she may be instructed to smile at customers ON TOP OF being a smiley person in general. Generally, I would advise against introducing yourself to someone who is working because, you know, they are busy working. But no, there is no harm done striking her up with a joke or some introduction. And being smart like you are, you have to consider the situation she's in at work, and if she even has the time for that in the middle of a workday, you know? I've only ever dated people through online interaction and introduction to meeting the person outside, except once.. I used to work at a museum, and one time I chatted up some german tourist just casually at work, and after talking to her and parting our ways, our eyes would meet constantly as I walked past her in and out of my breaks. It was one of those moments where you're like "Omg is she thinking what I'm thinking??" to the point where - at the end of the day - she was waiting for me in this certain area where she apparently knew I would come by, and ended up giving me her number. My excitement levels went absolute through the roof, as it was the first time sth. like that ever happened to me.

kinky Nipped in the bud

Thanks for the advice. Her work (empaque/packing customers shopping bag) requires you greeting people, but there's something its hard for me to put in text about her smile. It was something particular on it. Going back to the work. I'll try to striking a joke or saying something mildly interesting when the workload is low or there aren't other customers behind me. Can't hurt her source of income for something so selfish. Despise the result of the encounters, personally I will take it as a victory. First time in my life I went and try to establish something with someone this way. I had good luck online, too, but the human factor or "contact" is something that interactions on the internet cannot fulfill. Oh man, that sounds like a super sweet moment. Glad your first time was superb, and thanks for sharing it too <3

hi its me again i don't really post on FP anymore first rule of asking out service job person you don't already know: DON'T their job is to make you spend money at this store, you put them in an awkward spot if you ask them out

Well, technically she doesn't work for the supermarket itself. The closest work that is related to hers is a Bagger , except she just works and packages your stuff in two plastic bags (recent law that only allows supermarket to pack your groceries in two bags no matter how much you bought). No carrying, no clean up duty or similar.The cashier handles the cash transaction. Bak to the central point. Our interactions revolves around "Hello - Hello - Thank you". So I guess just throwing a joke or a comment between that moment should not be something that can be seen as harmful or that awkard. Personally, I would like to prove to myself that I have changed, and I'm finally comfortable neough with myself to do something as "brave" as to talk with someone, or at least, trying to.

There is this girl in History class that is pretty cute. She’s nice and we share a lot of interests. I was wondering how should I ask her out?

Doesn't really matter, she is at work. You really have to be careful. I say this as person who is a member of management, just don't do it as @lordcrypto said. For example: I have cashiers whom are fairly attractive, some of them are married, others are single, or dating. They get hit on from time to time, but they usually brush it off and they talk shit amongst themselves. However, it becomes a issue and gets to me is when a customer regularly seeks out a particular cashier. I've had guys hit on a cashier and the cashier just brush it off. Usually it is a one time ordeal. I've had guys hit on a cashier and actually offend the cashier because of whatever was said. Or they made an ass out of themselves. I've had guys hit on a cashier, continually come back, seek out that cashier, continue to hit on the cashier any time they're in the store. To the point I had to intervene. I've had guys hit on a cashier, continually come back, seek out that cashier, continue to hit on the cashier if they're in the store, and go as far as to ask when the cashier work. We do not give out anyone's schedule and I never give out information which could put my employee's at harm's way. Obviously when it gets to that point I'm actually monitoring and waiting for the cashier to identify the customer to me. Usually I have to pull the customer off to the side and speak to them. I have to explain that the cashier they're hitting on is at work and they do not want to be hit on. The situation makes the cashier extremely uncomfortable and ask them to kindly stop. Which normally they do because they're not trying to be harmful or malicious. They usually apologize afterwards and apologize to the cashier. I've had to walk certain employees out personally to their cars because the customer who continually seeks them out made them so uncomfortable they got worried if they would be met outside at their car. People confuse politeness as tolerance/acceptance. Employees are polite because they are expected to provide good customer service, good employees do not want to contradict that. It's just like an employee should not hit on a customer and if they do they better hope it is reciprocated otherwise shit gonna go down hill quick. I wouldn't say you are the extreme of my example, however you are playing a pretty big game of chance. She could easily be overly polite or she could could be attracted to you. I suppose you do not know until you try. But, if she gives you the same reaction as she did when you first encountered her she could be just doing good customer service. A lot of my own cashiers have their own script they follow and once you come into the store a few times you figure it out. All I am saying is be careful and be aware of social queues, a lot of people break eye contact if they're uncomfortable. Some people tense up, and so on. You just have to remember she is at work and regardless of her position there are certain professional expectations.

Simply keep your mind occupied by the idea of asking her out, but don't ever actually do it. End of reverse psychology. Yeah just ask her out. Try to find some activity/event that 1) you want to attend, 2) you think she might be interested in and 3) ask her to attend it with YOU

Just cut contact with a group of friends I've known for 3 - 10 years, just couldn't put up with one of the people always insulting me & talking down to me every week. So many good people there but they just think it's funny, ignore it or think it doesn't matter. If I would speak up about it they would just say I'm starting up drama so I felt like the best option was just leaving them. I'll feel like I lost some good friends from this but I'm just not happy with that group of friends ever anymore, no matter what we're doing that person is there to ruin it and they just get praise and laughter. For example, a friends been working on a campaign for months writing dialogue, making maps, planning out items and references we'll get and such. This person joins the campaign despite not being interested in it and keeps interrupting everything getting set up, in every interaction their action is to set fire to someone or something. It wasn't funny it just got tiring and made no one want to continue with the campaign. I felt really bad for my friend who has been putting down so much time & effort into this for the group for it just to be shat on when people are trying to get involved but 1 person ruins it for everyone. I guess I'm just venting at this point, don't really know how to feel. Feel a lot better & relieved obviously but still like I lost some good friends.