Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v11 - She's totally into you edition - General

The nightmare continues!! The cult rears their heads again after I thought I ditched them. So I recently got a reply from my lady friend (Who I will nickname "Agent F" after a bunch of times mentioning her) about talking to one of my friends ("JK") from that..."cult". Apparently, after all of the amends, the apologies, and the get the fuck out of dodge, I apparently still get vitriol from them, that I'm some target to "not be that one guy" thing. In spite of all this, my friend JK has been defending me all this time there and still has a neck out for me. I know that he cares, but man he needs to ditch those assholes. Nothing good comes from all this degrading gossip that only serves to sever bonds between friends. Fuck them. I'm going to chat with JK soon and then just f' off the lot of them if I hadn't made it clear.

jesus christ, I can't even imagine a group of people like that

I just want to thank all the people replying to me. I will take everything you have said into consideration. I do plan on at least trying to stay friends with her in the long run, but as i do well enough know, it might be impossible. Only time will tell. Thanks for hearing me out. It does help to be able to talk about it.

well, its been a couple days since this happened and I just asked her today at work how she felt and she just said now's not a good time and pretty much just walked away guess it's back to being sad for me

Honestly dude, I reckon you should stop talking to her about how she's feeling and relationship stuff. She made it clear she wants time to process her last relationship, and if she's interested in you she'll come to see you when she's ready. Until then, just be casual and friendly and consider other people.

Yeah I agree. Not to come off as sounding harsh, but it seems like you got into her a little too quickly. While there is nothing wrong with being into someone, it generally isn't a good idea to start talking about relationships and stuff after the first date. She didn't really reciprocate the ideal the first time, you should have just left it be. It's disappointing for sure, but don't be sad about it. Just be cool about things as Baconheart said, get back out there and you'll feel better soon enough. I've learned people come and go, sometimes you get good opportunities, other times it just isn't the right time. Hope you feel better soon.

If it's any consolation, I think it's probably for the best that you got to know that it won't work out now rather than later. It would've been way more hurtful had you gotten more attached over time.

I was on a 2nd date with a girl from Tinder. She might just be the most attractive girl I've ever been on a date with. She was basically smoking! Keep it cool now, keep it cool.. We saw the Green Book btw., it's one of the good ones. Recommended.

you should tell her to stop its a nasty habit

If in a truly good relationship, do you still find yourself getting “interested” in other people or does that part of your brain chill out

I would say yes (to some extent), but it probably varies from person to person. And well, unless you take "truly good" to mean "literally perfect in every way", but I'm not sure such a relationship exists. This is just my experience from around 6 years (overall) of relationships, though, but basically I don't think it's impossible to find other people attractive and still appreciate what you've got; it's also not like you'll always be in love by the same amount over over time - there's ebb and tide, and sometimes you might long for something else. There's a reason why people cheat, and it's not necessarily because their relationships aren't good. Usually it's a combination of lack of judgement and fairly normal human emotions.

It depends on how sexually active you are. This varies from person to person, but after a few years of being in a relationship, attraction to your partner wears down a little. I think it's okay to see other people as attractive as long as it doesn't negatively affect the intimacy and honesty of your relationship.

I'm in a long term relationship that's most likely headed toward marriage. Every once in a while, I'll see a girl in public and be like "dang, she's real cute" and that sort of thing. The attraction doesn't really go away. Where it stops is my actions; I don't flirt or anything like that cause I already got a good lady.

I dunno, physical attraction is just that. There are plenty of beautiful and attractive women out there. Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean they stop being beautiful or attractive, it also doesn't mean I don't think the person I'm with is any less beautiful or attractive. As long as you stay faithful to the person you're with, all is fine in my opinion. If you are secure in your relationship and both people can say he/she is beautiful/handsome then all is good. As long as your actions don't make the other person feel like shit. I believe cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to someone (Regardless if the parties think it is justified or not). If you are losing interest in a relationship or don't think anything is there anymore it is best to find a way to talk about it and at least break things off with some dignity.

In a truly good? No, ideally you shouldn't be in whatever you mean by "interested"

I've been looking at MGTOW forums out of curiosity and their ideology is pretty interesting. It's a semi-resentful but less toxic version of incels.me, but actually about self-help for fitness, sports, philosophy, etc: like a guy's club online. By no means am I subscribing to the ideology but I appreciate that it is an offshoot of stoicism. Anybody have thoughts on it?

I prefer ideologies that aren't resentful at all.

It's even hard to tell if the ideology is inherently resentful. There's a lot of guys who have the mentality of "Fuck women, they're screwing guys over" which is obviously resentful and others that are "go-getters" and see relationships as something that could take away from self-exploration and lifetime goals.

I'd draw a distinction between being attractive and experiencing attraction/interest though. Personally, when I'm in a relationship yes beautiful people are still beautiful, but my thoughts never go to wanting to do anything with them, only my partner makes me feel like that.

Seemed like another boring day spending a few minutes on Tinder, but then I messaged a fresh match. (mind you, this followed after a month or so of one-way chats) She's played more Mass Effect than I have and has so many common interests to the point of the uncanny. Experiencing both mutual attraction and shitposting the hell out of one another gives me hope that who I am is good enough for somebody. The point I want to make is that no matter how shitty things seem, do your best seizing opportunities to meet new faces. People can sometimes come across as assholes on dating apps because there's no connection, and I wouldn't suggest using garbage that endorses being a sociopath, but don't give up if you're like me and feel way more confident online. I can tell you with confidence that an honest, well-meaning, patient outlook and presentation of yourself will eventually land you close to somebody with the same outlook.

If "women are more trouble than they're worth" isn't resentful, I don't really know what is.

The ONLY sucky thing about ditching these control freaks I know is that I'll have to stop playing in the D&D sessions, which aside from their personalities are a ball of fun. Now That I got a simple grasp of the game I'll see if I can make a game for me and other cooler people, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget D&D.

I wouldn't be taking advice from people who are resentful towards women. People like that cannot see their own faults and will fail to address them. There is a reason women do not like people like that - it is likely because of the way they treat them, view them, and talk about them. There are plenty of other resources for self-help, fitness, sports, and philosophy. I personally would avoid any place that lets resentment towards a group of people like that go unchecked. I actually just looked it and and holy cow....semi-resentful is putting it lightly. These guys are full-blown, I've read like 5 threads already and nearly all the posts are red-pill reddit levels of cringe. I've read one thread that basically the poster says all women are whores. Another thread celebrates the fact a he convinced his significant other to get an abortion. Another thread discusses how he likes his women - white, non-educated, and controllable. Another thread discusses how they speak and treat fellow men and treat other women like children. They even manage to have a thread in the fitness section that boils women down to being lazy and manipulative. There are dudes in this forum blaming their moms for ruining their lives. What the fuck lol. You're better off with just listening to the art of manliness podcases, read some of the books they talk about, and go to a fitness forum.

MGTOW Its the equivalent of blaming others for your lack of hygene.

Yeah at first I was thinking that it might have been a forum for a sort of stoicism but it appears that they are very much complainers.

Introduction to Stoicism — William Irvine Interview | The Art of.. It is a pretty good podcast. They discuss a lot of different topics.

my GF of 2 months was offline for a full day, now she messaged me saying one of her friends died and she doesn't know what to do what do I tell her? meeting is impossible for at least two weeks so no hugs unfortunately

Tell her you're sorry and that you're there for her. Call her and just listen to her, talk to her, just be there to support her.

you have got to be fucking kidding me

phwoar and this is why you don't shit where you eat my dude ( @Mikebot )