I worked at a pet store for a while.
Some little old lady approached one of my managers, but I was with him at the time.
"Hey, I have a question."
"Yes?"
"These two dog harnesses are the same, but they cost different."
"Well, one is blue, and the other is pink and has bows."
"But they're the same."
"Other than that, yes."
"Why aren't they the same price? Why does the pink one cost more?"
"The pink one is more popular. And has the bows on it."
"But it's the same thing. I want it for the blue one's price."
"We can't do that."
"Why not?"
"We can't just change the price of goods for people."
"But it's the same as the blue one."
"Then get the blue one?"
"No, I want the pink one."
CONGRATULATIONS LADY, NOW YOU KNOW WHY IT COSTS MORE
SUPPLY AND DEMAND
LEARN IT
Rerail in tourist land Bar Harbor, an exchange between me and some boat lady (it's a cruise destination point)
Her: "Do you carry 8xl?"
Me: We don't, sorry. But...I'll try and find a place if you don't mind waiting a bit for me to do a little calling around (bar harbor is a wonderful tight knit little community)
Eventually find one up the street, a gentle hill up towards Acadia.
I go and find her, and tell her "Okay, this store *shows map on phone* says they carry 8xl. It's about a five minute walk up the hill there."
Her: "Oh, I have to walk there?? Nevermind then."
Me: this attitude is why you are seeking an 8xl, lady
Also, "can you check in the back"
no, 'the back' is just a sad little toilet and a water heater, go away
I work in a restaurant as a cook. All of this happened:
If you dont know what is something on the menu ASK the waiter, he/she knows what is it, and can explain it to you! Dont ask for a Carpaccio and then complain "wtf? sorry im vegetarian I can't eat this"
Dont complain about overcooked steak if you asked for a "very very well done steak"
Waiters are the ones that will give you a table! dont just sit on your own because 90% of the times that table is reserved!
If the table you want is reserved dont ask us to change it. Its not going to happen
If we are full, that means we are full, we are not lying, we cant do anything about it!
Please dont give me a Card with your Allergies, just tell the waiter
we dont "mess" with your food, never. period. It doesnt matter if you are the worst guest ever you are going to have your food as good as everyone, and probably even faster
If you come too early/late dont act like you are silly, If the door is closed, half the lights are off, and all the tables are piled up, that means we are not open yet, or that we are closing
Once, after a very busy saturday, we finally managed to close and sit to have our dinner at 1:15 AM. One of my colleagues opened the door a bit to take out the garbage, and I shit you not, a group of four girls came into the restaurant and they took a seat! when we told them we were closed they even got mad! "where are we supposed to go dining then?" we told them to go to the nearest Mcdonald. Dont be this person
Barista. These are a limited selection of things I wish my customers knew
First of all, until you prove otherwise, I wish you were dead.
If you let your children wander around and touch glass surfaces that I will have to clean, I imagine them at the coal face.
I think your drink is disgusting. A 16 oz "mocha" is fucking disgusting. You're disgusting. You're a grown-ass adult who says the word "mocha" every day. What an embarrassing word to say. I pity you. Actually I don't. Hope it kills you.
The 15% tip button is not for your $4 dollar purchase. It's for group orders. I'm paying the same car insurance you do, I drink at the same bars you do. Buy yourself your own fucking gumball with 60 cents. I'm not saving my tips for a condom and a can of beans at the end of my shift.
Fun fact, if you're retired, you don't have to pay 2/3 of those, so you can save your 14 cent tip to act as confetti or pinata money when you get hit by a city bus on your way to obstruct neighborhood association meeting.
Tip a dollar on a drink if you can. (I can tell you can because you just spent $5 dollars on what amounts to a cup of hot milk, you simpleton.)
Half of the staff have bachelor's degrees and one has a master's degree. No one is confused about how to spell your name, Judy. No Christian Dad, I will not take your quarter from the tip jar and "put it in the college fund." Hope your kid flunks out of his sports science degree and takes up heroin.
"I don't know what I want." Why? How can you be at an impasse already, over coffee, this timeless, banal everyday moment? What are you, Nero? Were you hoping we'd sell human stock this time? Please? Do you see all those dishes? Do you see those other customers? Just get a fucking Pepsi at the gas station, I know it's what you really want.
If you, at 6:30 am, walk in stridently, stand before the register, clap your hands in front you and say, "well, what do we have here?" as you molest the pastry case with your yes, then know that I am your enemy. We were born enemies
You "just" want. You'll "take a". No. You'd like it, please and thanks. If it's no big fuckin deal then why do you need me to make it?
You can't eat your chow mein dinner from home in the shop, fatass.
Last of all, I wish I was dead.
fuckin hell, i'll just get my coffee at mcdonalds
Okay.
-We have tests that require incubation periods of 5 days, clients ask for it in one day and get angry when we say we cant. Why the fuck do you ask for this test and not know it takes 5 DAYS to get results?
-Stop asking us for some rare preservative, we told you thousands of times already we don't carry/make it.
-If your sample is a biohazard, label it. Fucking hell why don't these people label anything. I wish we didn't have to find out the hard way this shit is hazardous.
-Also label. Everything. We don't know what this fucking water sample has in it.
-Stop sending us shit after 6 PM. No one is here, no one wants it, and whats wrong with next day shipping?
You forgot about the people who think they're special just cause they order regular coffee
"I JUST WANT. A. BLACK. COFFEE. NONE OF THAT GIRLY SHIT. STRAIGHT. BLACK."
I like black coffee too but I don't jerk myself off over it
I work retail (electronics) and it would be supremely helpful if customers knew literally anything about what they're trying to buy. And if they don't know, they could try not acting like the expert
Example from 5 minutes ago
-customer asks for a headset
-"one ear for talking? Or headphones for music?"
-"one ear"
-show customer to Bluetooth headsets
-"which one works with my Samsung?"
-"they all do"
-"wait not these, I want them to plug in"
-"so you want headphones" show customer to headphones
-"and these all will work? I've tried all mine and none of them work"
-"fucking yes GODDAMNIT"
-show wired pair to customer, Bluetooth pair catches customer's eye
-"what about these?"
-"well they're BT, so wireless"
-"But wIlL tHeY wOrK???"
-customer buys and opens BT headphones
-"these are wrong, i wanted wired"
-sigh, return headphones and sell wired pair
-"ThEsE dOnT wOrK yOu IdIoT"
-customer did not fully plug headphones in. Plug them in correctly and customer leaves without a thank you
Worked at lowes for a year and a half, here's my spiel:
Please for the love of god stop asking me to load an entire 1 ton pallet of bricks/concrete slabs by hand into your PT cruiser. Chances are I am the only breathing soul out here short of the 85 year old Vietnam war vet running the cash register who I know is always wishing he was at home with his wife and it takes really long time to do this. While I'm busy collapsing the suspension in your jalopy I guarantee I've got like a dozen people swarming the register asking the poor old guy a million questions he can't hope to answer which stresses the hell out of him. Also when your shit breaks a mile down the road because your leafsprings have the contour of a pothole don't come complaining to me, I told you it was a bad idea.
White trash asshole dude I know that bigass dog you brought in 5 minutes before closing was the one that took the massive shit on the floor which you then ran over with a cart. I'm not retarded and I have infact developed object permanence.
Do not grab the christmas tree cutting chainsaw and cut your tree yourself while I'm helping another customer carry a tree. I do not care if you're "a professional lumberjack", I will get my shit kicked in by my boss if he finds out you did that.
The parking lot is not your personal trashcan. I have had to clean more dirty dipers and boxes full of catshit/litter out of the parking lot than I thought physically possible.
Please stop stealing the nuts and bolts from the bolt aisle. You aren't stealthy and there isn't one there that costs more than a dollar.
NO I WILL NOT LIGHT THE PROPANE HEATER OFF INSIDE THE AISLE. Carbon monoxide exists, and chances are you're gonna dip and force me to store use the can of propane.
If the shelves are empty of heaters in the dead of winter we are out. We literally will spend whole days doing nothing but restocking these things during surge days.
We frown upon anyone who asks for space heaters out of season because we store them 30 feet up in the back of aisle of the bath section. Again it takes a really long time to get this stuff. Also some staff will straight up lie and tell you we have no more if you ask late enough in the year.
Just because we sell the push mower does not mean we are legally required to sell specific replacement parts for it (obv does not include warranty repairs) so stop threatening us with that. And stop stealing the gascaps you cheap fucks.
We know when you return old lightbulbs that you claim came broken (they're almost always yellow) and we keep records of this shit. Corporate is full of penny pinchers and people who think 1984 is a guidebook for store surveillance.
We know when you return a mower that's clearly been used to mow your yard once (if applicable replace mower with snowblower). You're an asshole for doing this and no it's not the same as renting.
If we tell you that the equipment needs 2 stroke fuel, you had better not come back with it seized. Chances are we showed you exactly what premade fuel to use or what to mix to make your own.
Don't do the use once and return nonsense but claim it's broken. You're already a dick for doing the one and done but the broken claim is a hundred times worse. Also, the friendly 6'7 giant named Andrew behind the front desk there loves testing this shit and will know right away if you're bullshitting (context: customer claimed the mower was seized, jolly green giant andrew went out and started it at the front door on the first pull with 0 effort)
I can't do your shopping for you. I'm happy to help you with stuff in my department and near by but please don't drag me across the store because there's tons of other people that need help here too.
Back to the loading bit: I am glad to help near anyone load stuff in the car and not even have my mind in the same zip code as tipping. All I ask is you say thanks because it makes me feel great. Also believe it or not I actually enjoy any weird "stuff your doing today" stories you've got, they keep my mind off work.
Exception to the above: If you are a 20 something who's ripped and/or muscular please don't tell me you just had back surgery. I'm not stupid and I see through that shit like a window. It happens a lot near once late april / may rolls around and I would helped you without the lying.
Pellet bags are made of the shittiest plastic in existence. They rip constantly and I can't do anything about it but clean them up. Please don't come in and complain because two pellet bags on your 50 bag pallet were nicked by the center of the pallet.
Please stop asking for ripped bags that are at the bottom of a brand new pallet. You're an asshole for doing it and I will do my best to take as long as possible.
Please stop trying to get every microscopic defect in fencing discounted. Big box fencing is shit.
Please stop trying to dig the bottom panel of fencing out of the big stack. As stated before big box fencing is always trash and I have to spend way too much time cleaning this shit.
No I do not know if the plants have ever been treated with chemicals that may effect the bees (and having a beekeeping dad chances are the bees will be fine). All I know is they haven't told us of any "dangerous to humans" pesticides which they're supposed to tell us about.
We aren't robots, we have shitty days too.
The manager thinks your complaint is dumb too.
If you come in and browse doors until fucking 20 minutes after close christmas eve the manger is going to tell you to get the fuck out of the store and if you don't he's gonna call the cops. You deserve nothing but a dick kick but we can't do that.
We don't have a back for most shit. We're a warehouse store essentially.
The fact that the delivery drivers haven't gone postal yet with the shit they deal with is incredible.
Have the whole delivery day open. Our store is located in the heart of the biggest city on this side of the state and we cannot in any capacity give you an exact time frame due to the randomness of deliveries.
I can't be assed to vomit words onto a keyboard anymore. There are miles more of this shit.
I actually love you right now. Lowe's is such an awful place to work and Its a little heartening to see someone else here knows my pain.
And jfc it's actually getting worse somehow, I want to leave this place so bad guys please save me
Corporate in particular is aids but I have a serious soft spot for the people that work there. Most of the people I worked with in my year in a half were amazing fellows and kept me there as long as I was.
I work for a Cinema entertainment company here are my things I wish people would get through their heads.
I wish that people would stop trying to bring their underaged kids into r rated films. You can't. It's law. Even if supervised. You CAN NOT. UNLESS it is an RP film then you can but 99.9% of R rated films are not. So STFU.
No I can't do anything with your loyalty card if it's not registered online. Please register it.
NO YOU CANNOT BRING YOUR BK OR DOMINO'S INTO OUR CINEMA. Our food pays for us to work here. You can fuck off if you're going to do that and we have plenty of signs saying that.
Warehouse stores in general are fucking awful to work for but I currently work at Lowe's right now and mostly because it's a new store (about 1 year old) it's not a complete shitfest now. I worked at Home Depot prior and that was a well known store and fairly busy all the time. It sucked. Everyone sucked. I hated people and I wish they'd drop dead.
I worked at Home Depot for 4 years and Lowes for 1 year, let me add onto this.
No that 3300lb pallet of concrete is not going to sit well in your Toyota Tacoma or whatever half ton truck you seem to be driving up with. If we put this pallet in it'll be a fucking miracle if you even get home.
No I absolutely will not help you load a full pallet of 80lb concrete by hand because you were too cheap to just pay the deposit on the pallet.
Bags of bulk sand are wet, they're a pain in the ass to dump into your truck, just pay the deposit and shovel the fucking shit out. If we have to dump the sand into the back of your truck it's going to take 15 minutes to finally get the sand to cave in so it can fall otherwise it'll sit in the bag compact as all hell.
If you see a forklift driving down the aisle, please don't walk in front of it.
If you see the forklift's spotter (the person that stands within 10 feet of the moving machinery to make sure some dumbfuck doesn't walk in front of it or move things out of the way for the forklift) PLEASE don't walk in between them and the forklift. They don't stop on a dime and if I'm carrying something there's a high possibility it will slip off the works.
No we didn't just block off the other aisle for shits and giggles. We are currently bringing something down or putting something up, we will unblock it in a minute when it's safe to do so.
Stop leaving your carts all over the parking lot you lazy fucks I'm usually the only god damn person in the store that's actually taking these things back in. In fact I gave up on doing this and just let them sit there. Why should I care if no one else does (both customers and employees)
Just because I work here doesn't mean I have expert knowledge on every single product in the store. There's well over 200,000 products in a single store, more if it's larger. If you think I know plumbing when I work in garden you're out of your mind.
If you're going to haul something, bring something appropriate to load it in. If you bring an enclosed trailer for 16 foot lumber or a shit ton of drywall I'm going to scream. Not only do we have to take a million extra steps to try and get this in properly with machinery, if we can't do it with machinery we're gonna have to manhandle it.
No it's not free just because it's not scanning. Shut up.
Don't get mad at the cashier because you brought a product with no barcode on it. It's not their fault and they're trying their best with what they have to find it.
Don't climb the ladders that have giant EMPLOYEE USE ONLY in both English and Spanish. If you need help, ask. We get yelled at for this shit.
DO NOT DRIVE THE FUCKING MACHINERY IF YOU'RE NOT AN EMPLOYEE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE LICENSED WHEREVER THE HELL YOU WORK. We're working as fast as we can and we have to jump through hoops to help you out which is getting a 2nd person to be the spotter. I can fully drive the machine myself if I wanted to but I'd also get fired for doing that.
No I'm not going to take that bunk of lumber down because "they look fresher", there's almost a full bunk on the shelf in front of you. Pick through that.
Stop being picky with wood. Most of what you use won't be seen and the waning on the edges doesn't make it any less structurally sound.
I work here but I am not an expert nor a contractor. I don't have the answer for everything but I am trying my best to get you an answer.
(this is more of a personal problem but) No I do not speak Spanish. I am Puerto Rican but I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. EVERYONE spoke English. I learned English, my family speaks both but primarily speak English. Don't get an attitude because I don't speak Spanish. I should be mad at you for not speaking English even if it's not the best.
To add onto the previous one; even broken English is better than no English at all. We can try to understand what you're saying. If it's obvious it won't go anywhere we'll try and get someone that speaks your language for you.
Strangely enough, its always the much younger people that are much nicer to employees.
I've had coy, shy teenagers come up and politely wait for my attention or ask with a polite 'excuse me'. Say what they need, then say thank you and even smile sometimes. It goes a long way, honestly!
So many times i've had to deal with customers who just demand to know where something is, and as soon as you tell them, they act like you stop existing and just immediately turn tail to where you told them the product is. Of course they don't say thank you or anything of the like. It just jives weird with my morals because I was always raised to thank people for their troubles.
As for something terrible that customers do that hinders employees? PLEASE do NOT leave frozen/refridgeration items out somewhere for it to thaw afterwards if you don't want it. Its an immediate loss on our sales, and you're especially an asshole if its ice-cream that melts all over the shelf/table.
This one is kind of specific, but if you decide you don't want an item from an aisle you're in, please try not to misplace it a couple rows down from its original spot. Leave it on its side, or turn it upside down. When it comes to stocking, we're always on a time-limit. So if a misplaced item fools our quick glances into thinking a box of the same items would go there, it could slow our whole process down.
Thank fuck I don't do it anymore(And god save me if I ever find myself applying to do it again), but from my time in dealing with customer-centric work at WalMart(O/N grocery stocker and Meatwall closer) and Goodyear(Commercial tire, I was one of the poor working slaves that drove the service truck out at 3AM on a goddamn saturday), my nits to pick are as follows:
* If you decide not to buy a meat or frozen product PUT IT BACK IN THE APPROPRIATE AREA! Every time you get this wrong you make us throw it away. No joke, we throw frozen steaks away. They don't meet standard anymore after that point. No I don't care if it's only been there five minutes, we don't know, especially with frozen product in chilled areas, that it's been just five minutes. Can usually tell with chilled in frozen, tho.
* Retail slaves hate their job. Anyone tries to say otherwise? They're lying. The smile? It's fake. The absolute best thing you can possibly do is to leave us the FUCK alone. Get a little self-reliance in your life. You probably don't need us to tell you where something is, and if it's out, we probably don't have it on hand right now.
* 'The Back' is an unorganized clusterfuck where product can go MIA for months, even years, on end without anyone in the store knowing. Especially if it gets put somewhere where there's little activity normally. We might have the item but be unable to find it.
* The system is supposed to auto-order product based on sales logged at the register. If some shitsmear shoplifts just one item it could glitch the system and cause it to report adequate stock for a couple months. Managers are supposed to sanity check the system...so-called 'scanning their outs'...but they seldom have time to do so. If you notice a product is consistently out of stock, don't bitch to the stockers. We're powerless. Find a floor manager and politely inform them of it. They probably already know, but just in case they've been too busy in other parts of the store, it does help. And no, there's probably not something in the back for that slot.
* If you see a guy with four fuckoff huge pallets of canned food and pickles to stock, a waist high pallet of empty cardboard, a knee high pallet of backstock, two shopping carts chocked full of plastic and claims, DON'T FUCKING BOTHER HIM! He needs to get those four pallets worked in about 6 hours or so. We're not allowed to pull more than 8hrs and we need at least 30 to clean up and another hour-hour and a half to 'zone'.
* It is not funny to go through a freshly zoned aisle and push boxes all over the shelf. We get bitched at if the product on the shelf doesn't look like a 'wall', even if we did zone it properly only for some cumstain to come through and 'hurr' it all back into a mess.
* If your RV blows a tire out at 3AM on a saturday, don't be surprised if the guy in the Goodyaer service truck is barely dressed with a grumpy scowl on his face. He's taking time out of his sleeping-in-on-the-weekend routine to change your shredded 19.5.
* If you run 19.5 or 17.5 tires on your heavy duty vehicle PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CARRY A PREMOUNTED SPARE! These little bastards are the stiffest tires you can possibly buy and we WILL have to fight the goddamn thing for 45 minutes to get it mounted. JUST mounted. We can go from 'arrive on scene' to 'going home' on a flat LoPro 22 or 11r tire in 20 minutes, by comparison.
* I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU RETARDS DON'T LIMP YOUR TRUCK OUT OF THE BUSIEST FUCKING SECTION OF FREEWAY BEFORE CALLING US.....etjhuisrjhirty nothing pissed me off more as a road service tech than having to change a flat on the shoulder of a busy interstate. Limp your truck onto an off-ramp instead. It A: makes it easier for us to find/get to you, B: makes it safer for us to service the truck, C: makes it easier for you to rejoin traffic.
* If your company isn't paying for your flat tire and you don't have a good $350 or so of spending cash on hand don't fucking bother us. We're not going to work on an IOU. You're paying us, *at minimum*, for two hours labor. Literally our policy, even if the service call lasts for 45 minutes from the time we accept the call to the time we end the call, you still owe for two hours of labor. Don't like that? Bitch at corporate in Akron. And that's only going to be your fee if you're A: Right in front of the shop, B: Have a good, useable spare tire on hand, and C: Your rim cooperates.
* No, we don't have change. The only money we have on us is what's in our back pocket, and that's our personal money. Which in my case was barely anything at all. We round our totals to nice even bills whenever possible, but if all you have is hundreds, don't be surprised if you end up overpaying. You can always come to our actual location, show them the receipt, and get your change then, but we do not have any means to give change on our person.
* If we tell you that your tire is a piece of shit, or won't fit, or whatever, please for the love of all things holy listen to us. We're literally paid to know this shit. It's part of our job. We're not going to mount a ratty ass 1/32 11r22 on your truck next to a Chinesium LP22.5 tire. We're not going to patch a sidewall puncture. We're not going to sell you an off-brand tire because it's 'cheaper'.
* Please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KNOW WHAT FUCKING SIZE YOUR TIRE WAS! You're paying us $130 for every hour we're on your call, and if your truck is half an hour from our shop and you tell FleetHQ you have a LP22 when you actually have an 11r22 you're paying another $130 that you didn't need to pay.
* We only have access to what's in our night cage. If we don't have the right tire in there, but it is on the normal sales floor, it's going to be another 45 minutes while we wake a manager up to come down, unlock the shop, and grant access to that tire.
* If there's already one call active and your call comes in second, you're gonna wait that extra time as well, because our nightcage is only large enough to house one service truck. We have two, but the second truck is kept locked in one of the service bays, and again we need to get a manager down there to unlock it.
* If your vehicle is running something like an LT245/75R17 tire, don't bother calling us after hours. We can't break the beads on that kind of tire on a service call, hell, we can barely do it in our shop. We are outfitted to service much larger tires used on semi trucks, not what's basically a pickup truck tire, and those larger tires are much easier to break the beads on most days. Hell they usually unseat themselves when they deflate, whereas those small tires fight tooth and nail. Plus you probably already have a spare on board and could get it mounted yourself before we could even get to you, ATOP THAT, we probably don't have a tire for you in stock anyway.
I can't believe I have to say this, but don't expect a tow truck within 1 hour, for one, at all, and for two, ESPECIALLY not at 2 AM.
Also, asking me for an ETA on your tow truck is useless. I'm just a dispatcher. Depending on who I find, it could be 60 minutes, it could be 4 hours. I can't talk to anyone and figure out an ETA without y'know, not talking to you anymore first.
If you're an RV and you're calling after 6 PM, you honestly might as well just wait until tomorrow. Your call's gonna take a minimum of 3 hours if you're lucky.
Don't go RVing in New Mexico or California. If you do and you break down you're gonna be real real fucked.
You can literally just google on your phone "where am I" or "what is my location" and get an answer. Makes figuring out where you are so much easier.
You think it's frustrating being on hold for 5 minutes? Well I get it too man. Calling membership services because your records aren't showing up? Hold. Calling the RV tech? Hold. Calling tow truck providers? Hold, hold, hold. I'm on hold for hours a day. I can recognize certain tow companies by their hold music.
If I leave you abandoned on the side of the road, unless it's literally the only option and I just can't help you, then I get fired. No second chances. I pretty pretty promise that I did not forget about you. Chances are if you haven't gotten a text saying when the tow guy will be there, that's because I haven't gotten one out to you yet and am still trying.
Somebody transferred me a phone call without giving me any prior intel regarding the issue.
I picked up the phone and some bloke wanted to file a lawsuit against Paypal because his funds got frozen for 365 days after purchasing a helicopter via a website.
What the hell am I supposed to do, it's not even related to anything really that I do.
I work as what is essentially a waiter for a certain popular pub chain In the UK.
First off, No hablo puto español. Stop pestering me when I'm clearly trying to take plates over to another customer. I really wish you Spanish tourists would stop coming in massive groups, as it would make my life a hell of a lot easier. But no, bring the whole family over abroad. Sure.
You cannot order at the kitchen, and I'm not an actual waiter. You are in a pub disguised as a restaurant which is really just a fast food with cheap drink. And I seriously don't know where in the world you think you can order at the kitchen. Speaking of which, this is a kitchen behind me, not the bar. Can you please stop trying to order drink at the fucking kitchen?
Look, I know you want to sit down here, I know the tables are first come first served and all but can you give me a few moments to actually clear the fucking thing first? Or do you really want to sit at a table covered in dirty plates and glasses?
No, I will not turn on the heating because your cold, found yourself under the air conditioning or next to our exits. It's a heat wave in summer, why do you want more hear on top of that? And don't ask me how I'm not freezing, I'm running about for 8 to 10 hours like a blue arsed fly. I'm not exactly going to freeze here.
When it's busy, and I've just placed your food down on the table, don't ask for water afterward. Actually, just don't ask me for water unless it's dead and I have nothing better to do. I've got shit to do, I don't need to be running an entire lap of the pub just to bring god damn water to you, especially when you are at the far end of the place. You have a bottle of whatever the fuck next to you. If you are desperate for water, go get it yourself. And don't ask the kitchen for water too, retard.
Most of our food is either out through the fryer or microwaved. It's no fine dining, it's not even regular dining. It's cheap, nasty and quick pub food and I'd rather not have you ask your opinion about it. I've been eating this stuff for far too long and I dispise the stuff.
If you have any problem with the food, I will get it replaced in full, providing you aren't taking the piss. And I will do It without asking questions. This is why I check up on the food a few minutes later. Sure, bring the plate over yourself if you have to complain, we'll have someone over at least 80% of the time, but don't shove it directly at my face.
If you are a legitimate chef who knows their food, why the fuck are you eating here?
I'm not going to smile for you. I am going to be honest to you throughout the day that I am not doing this for my personal enjoyment and when your job is dealing with what could be hundreds maybe a thousand of people a day, i am not going to care. The invisible forces of young student waiters are going to bring your food over and disappear before you know it. Stop trying to look like you care when you are in a group that is already half cut with drink.
There are a special place in hell for you if you make a glasses pun when I'm asking for empty dead glasses. You are not funny and I am resisting the urge to throw these glasses towards you. Fuck you, and fuck off.
I am secretly hoping you look under the plates and bowls and complain about the state of them. I've given up at this point telling them they can't clean for shit and complaining myself.
yikes. i've worked as a barista once too and your attitude isn't normal
When I worked as a bartender; If I'm busy serving someone else, don't snap your fingers, yell at me or whistle to get my attention, you're going straight to the back of the serving line you greasy fuck.
Aw, guys, I don't imagine kids at the coal face or manifest that kind of disgust irl. I actually like my job and serve mostly a neighborhood community who have my back as much as I have theirs. Was looking for some next level service industry solidarity and clearly was not funny. My bad. In my experience this is just the kind of shade we throw behind the bar to vent. My manager brought up decapitation yesterday. Wrong audience.
I'm always as polite and friendly as I can be to anyone in a Call Centre. I haven't worked in one, but I know it's not for me. So, whenever I have to deal with anyone, I use please and thank you, and have a great day, and try and be cordial and friendly. In my experience this works pretty well to get you guys on to my side for whatever the issue is.
Just as a general rule, any service worker deserves your basic respect, and dignity. Anyone you have to interact with should be given a "please, thank you, have a great day" level of courtesy at the very least.
I work in Tech Support.
What I wish people knew about my job was that 9/10 things I fix is your fucking fault. When you get mad at me for not dropping everything I have to do, to help you, I will not do ANYTHING more than I have to. I will fix your shit, and deal with your unpleasant ass, and move on to the next place I need to be at.
Most people try to explain things in nonsensical ways and expect me to just translate their nonsense into something that makes sense and I can plan around.
If you want me to help you, just ask me politely, have some patience as I'm likely fixing someone elses shit, and please, please don't expect me to know every weird little thing that can go on with a computer.
I used to work as a sales rep/general customer service person for a corporate cellphone store that was also service and repair. There are many things I would love for people to know. This is gonna be kinda long.
Yes I understand that its frustrating that your bill is higher than you were expecting this month but it doesn't help the situation to come in and treat me like shit especially when this is my first time ever seeing you. It really demotivates my want to find out why it happened.
I know you want your bill issue fixed right now but I am pretty much the middle man to the escalations department and it can only move as fast as escalations can respond to me. As much as you think I don't give a shit about your issue I do and I am doing my best to make escalations see your side of the story. It may take time and a lot of back and forth arguing with escalations but I can get shit solved 80% of the time.
Please don't argue with me on the fact that you pay your bills on time every time. This report of a carryover balance from last month, some times several months, tells me otherwise.
The billing department doesn't care about account notes they will shut off your service either way as they are ruthless animals over there.
Please let me know that you dropped your phone in a toilet or that your cat pissed on your phone before I pick it up with my bare hands its disgusting.
Don't leave any photos in your phone that you wouldn't want your mom to see when you bring your phone in for a data transfer. We tend to take a quick peek at the photo library just to make sure photos came over alright and might see your nudes or your gay furry porn collection, true story. There are also, unfortunately, ones among us who deliberately look through your photos to find nudes.
I am sorry we can't replace your I Phones battery in store same day even if you have insurance on it. You can blame apple for being prissy shits and requiring us to mail it out to a "certified service center" to do something anyone of the techs in the store could do in five minutes or less.
Yes much like leasing a car if you lease a phone its not yours and if you damage it you have to pay for it. Its why we recommended the insurance because it covers this exact situation.
Your tenure as the a customer of the company does not entitle you to treat me like ass. I like to try and bend the rules for a tenured customer when I can but I don't even bother if you treat me like garbage.
I can't change the prices of the phones there is literally no button in my system that will let me do that and I can't fucking magically will it into existence.
Don't get mad at me when I don't have the ultra specific sim card in stock to make your ultra obscure phone work on our network.
I know I ask some personal questions and you may be reluctant to answer them but its good if you do because then I can get you the phone and accessories that will be tailored exactly to you and your life. Believe me you will be much happier with the result if you give me things to work with.
I do earn commission but that does not mean I am going to try and sell you a bunch of shit you don't need. I believe you are an inelegant enough person to realize you don't need useless shit and will return anything you don't need. I don't make money off returns so its in my best interest to pair you with things you will actually use.
Just because I sell the phones in the store doesn't mean I am going to sell you a shit phone. I'm not afraid to tell you when a certain model of phone is absolute trash.
Ya we know the customer service line is a bunch of Indian people who can't speak English but there is nothing I can do about that. We complain about it all the time in our employee surveys and we see how well that works out.
When you say you can buy the case cheaper on Amazon I die a little on the inside.
I have plenty more but I'll stop here for now.
a 5 minute video doesnt take 5 minutes of filming
i work as a bagger at Publix and the only thing i really want people to know, because it's the only thing i'm not supposed to tell them, is this:
when i go around your cart and start pushing it towards the door without asking if you want help, it's not because I think you're old or weak or something. my managers get mad if we don't start moving your shit without asking. please understand.
I'm going to speak for anyone and everyone who ever has worked in retail:
No, there is no magical "back" to check for more of a particular product. 9/10 times, if the home is empty, we don't have any more.
I get what you mean. We will make fun of you on internal headsets at our job just to keep stress lower. But never that intensely.
Wallpaper Hanger
Yes, your walls have to be primed before we install. Not painted. Not drywall. Not a wood shelf with gloss/semigloss. Primed. Preferably with Zinsser 123 Bullseye (which is incredibly cheap as far as primers go), but most basic primers will do.
No, we won't take your TV/expensive electronics off the wall. Plates are easy, but the liabilty on your 72' Ultra 8K display mounted to four different studs is not only beyond our physical capabilities, but probably costs more than whatever you paid for us and your wallpaper. Do it right and get an electrician or do it yourself.
There will be a lot of waste, especially if your wallpaper has ANY pattern to match. 10" repeat? That's at least 10", almost ta foot, each strip of wallpaper that ends up being cut because adjustments need to be made to match your wallpaper.
On the above note, ordering wallpaper is not an exact science. Sometimes you end up with an extra roll, sometimes you end up having to order an extra roll and wait for us to come back. We do our best to give you an estimate of wallpaper and enough extra to account for some flaws in material or difficult cuts, but if the pattern match is huge, there's a lot of wrapping, or the material require double cutting along the length of the paper after it's on the wall, it's hard to gauge how much waste they'll be until were actually hanging the paper.
Please, please PLEASE call us as soon as you know the room won't be ready. Plumber going to take an extra day with the water? Walls aren't quite primed yet? Your family is out on vacation now and there's no way to let up into the house on the appointment date? We're flexible, delays happen in the construction/remodeling industry all the time! Just lest us know as soon as you know so we don't waste half a day showing up to a job that clearly isn't ready by the previous appointment date.
Also part of delays: If you're in a gated community, please give us the gate code or call ahead to the gate on the date we're supposed to be there. There's nothing more fun that being interrogated by a guard that takes his job a bit too seriously for half an hour while we're holding up other contractor gate traffic for you to wake up past eight in the morning and pick up your phone to finally let us in!
We will love you forever if you have EVERYTHING down when we get there. We CAN take down some lights, medicine cabinets, nails, pictures, etc, but if that stuff is already out of the way, not only can we be done with the work much faster, so you can finally start putting that room back together, we'll probably lower the bill at the end!
If we like you, we'll also cover your electrical plates to match your wallpaper pattern. If you're being pretty difficult or mean, we won't. They're the extra touch to show we really care or not. (Expect snap on plates, we physically can't do those- sorry).
If you order a grasscloth/natural woven fabric, it will pannel and shade. It's a natrual product, it's what it does. You don't yell at your granite countertop for not having a uniform, ganiular pattern and color. It's part of the appeal of the natural design!
Peel and Stick Wallpaper: No, no, No! Nope, and never. There's plenty of wallpaper hangers left (actually there's a critical shortage right now), call around and see if any of the other ones will bother with that crap.
Pets and kids: Please put them away or in another location. We work with a lot of dangerous and sharp tools- we cannot babysit them AND do our job.
Yeah, we got that done really fast, no, that price is still correct. We're not the cheapest outfit, but you're paying for a collective 50 years of wallpaper experience and for a job done right. Skills and expediency don't come cheap.
We don't have social media, hand out cards, or advertise in any way. Business is so busy we can't afford to take on new designer clients. If you want to refer us to someone else on an individual basis, that's the finest compliment we can receive, but we won't start working for more firms or multi-property clients.
We're not getting into a bidding war with the other 2 dedicated wallpapering companies in the region left, or the painter who says he can also do wallpaper on the side. They're going to be cheaper, and we understand that. We charge what we charge because we're confident in our quality of work, experience speed, and ultimately, that's what our clients are willing to pay!
If I sound like the job is a very negative experience, it's not! At the end of the day, 90% of our clients are great because we've worked for the same two dozen designers and firms for years- most of these are directed at the individual families that are referred to us and might not understand how the construction and remodel industry as a whole works- not just wallpaper hangers exclusively. Most people are very kind and patient- we usually have a great experience.
I'm a video editor, and the most common annoyance is when some client sends me three minutes of footage and wants a five minute video for their youtube channel. I can't create footage from thin air no matter how hard you want me to.
Oh yes, this is a good ranting place,
Call Center Rep:
Yes, we know the hold time is not great, and we cannot help it. You ranting for 5 minutes about how long you've been on hold does NOT help our handle time and does not help the next person waiting.
PLEASE have your account information ready when you call, PLEASE do NOT get upset at me when I request this information, and DO NOT use the hold time as an excuse either.
My supervisor is not an all seeing deity, just because my answer wasn't what you wanted, doesn't mean my supervisor gives a shit. My supervisor has better things to be handling and doing then something not right on your statement that YOU deem isn't right in your head.
Not making your payment doesn't mean we automatically close your account, that's why we have this little thing called Collections.
Cussing me out, treating me like garbage, and otherwise making me feel like shit actually does leave an emotional impact. There is no "suck it up it's another call" BS around here, we take it to heart, especially with what we're paid. I don't get paid to be treated like a second class citizen just cause your day isn't going great.
Yes, our systems are prone to having errors, and prone to not working. Don't get pissy at me cause my system went down taking a payment, or looking at your account. You work a job too, you know just how it feels when you don't have anything to do your job with.
Just like our microphones catch my co-worker talking shit about the last person they had, I can quite clearly hear your wife / girlfriend / husband / boyfriend / whoever saying such pretty words about me cause you didn't get the info you wanted to hear today.
Yes, I can disconnect the call if I feel like I am being treated poorly. And no, we're not trained to deal with irate customers, why do you think businesses have security sometimes? Our security is the disconnect button.
Our statements can sometimes be misleading, but our online systems aren't. If you disagree with the balance I have posted on my screen, try logging into your account and seeing the same info I am seeing. Relying on something that takes time to get through the mail, while obviously we should be, doesn't work for 99% of companies. Especially money loving ones.
No, I am not releasing my last name. No, I do not have a badge number or agent ID. No, I know why you want my last name, and no you're not gonna get to know how to spell my name properly either.
I've heard so many people say "oh man call center jobs are so easy they just sit there and do jack shit" and let me put it like this, I'd rather be back at Winn Dixie chopping deli meat, cleaning the floors, stocking shelves, doing all the grunt work... or back at the casino I worked before this job dealing with drunk, nasty, violent, and angry people. There's shitty people, then there's mental abuse. And then your comments about me on Facebook afterwards? Cause I gave you the information that is correct per our company, but not good enough with you? I don't give a fuck if you hate my company, but to say I'm the little devil too? That shit stings. It's why I don't like to spell out my name, and why I use my middle name instead of my actual name. The fact I go through all that for a shitty paying call center job to pay for my car and bills just outright makes me depressed everyday. And the day I can say fuck you to this place, and find something nicer, I'll be in cloud 9. Till then, if you ever need to make a call to a customer representative line, take into account that your words leave a lasting mark on the person over the phone. You might not realize it, but being polite and saying "I appreciate what you've done for me today, even if you couldn't do anything for me at all" is a lot better than "Fuck you, bitch, I'll spread your name all over Facebook you little shit". The latter I've heard many times to the point it doesn't even affect me. It's America, I'm used to it. Freedom of speech, am I right?
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