Hell yeah. The Confessional is up and ready again! Time to share my darkest fantasies and wait until Atom reads them.
Do we lose the right for any story that I/we share here? I'm sure someone could write a short movie or comic with the stuff that gets posted here.
This thread almost makes you wish that it was possible to start anonymous threads in general honestly, localized instances where no one knew who anyone else was.
I am also kind of confused because most people want to see their confessions posted and post implications that allude to the user which renders the entire anonymous confession useless. Kind of weird.
I guess it's kind of difficult to post a candid anonymous confession without secretly wanting for people to respond to you personally while knowing who you are. It's almost like with serial killers who eventually turn themselves in because they eventually want to be caught.
I guess also that community shrunk quite a bit, you pretty much see the same posters now.
I constantly see the same dudes all over the place and I recognize quite a few usernames now, I don't think that I ever visit a thread now with completely unfamiliar users which would be the case in a larger community.
The last legion fighting until the bitter end.
confession girl is back in town
Alright, let's ease back into this with something fun and lighthearted.
So, I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm wearing myself down to nothing to maintain it. I'm a man, she's a woman. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen with my own eyes. She's got a great personality, and we make each other very happy. Problem is, she's over 1000 nautical miles away, and she suffers through depression. I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect. I can get very selfish, manipulative, and generally be a huge asshole, but after meeting her I started putting a lot more effort to managing that and making sure I can be the best boyfriend I can be.
I really want the best for her, for her to follow her passions and for her to live a life she can be proud of, and I hope that life would include me.
Though the big issue I see that's preventing all that is her reliance on medication (ala https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg) she started taking ADHD medication at a young age and has always taken it since. Problem is, she doesn't sleep well and is mentally fatigued throughout the day, which are side-effects of the ADHD medication, and I believe that they plays a huge role in her depression. I bet that she'd have a lot easier time pursuing her passions and improving herself if she wasn't taking something that hindered her from being herself. She's also generally a nicer person to be around when it wears off. The SSRIs she takes for depression also mess with her (and my) sex life. We only see each other every 1-2 months and we couldn't have good sex last time she visited. Her psychiatrist is fucking useless, when she kept telling him about her lack of sleep over multiple visits, he switched her to different ADHD medication which made her more depressed, _and_ upped her SSRI dosage. Afterwards she told me masturbating felt more like a chore. (fucking great)
Now, I'm a very horny shit, but I never and will never cheat on her, or force myself on her despite many, many temptations for both of those. Though that still frustrates me to no end.
The fact that she has so much talent, potential, and just that kind of... glow that you only see in remarkable people, while not knowing/being able to utilize it frustrates me even more for completely different reasons.
And... because of her mental state, she doesn't put much effort in the relationship, even though I know that she's being sincere when she says she loves, cares about, and appreciates me, it's also very frustrating.
Oh and one more thing, we _could_ see each other more often since she comes from a rich family, but she goes to college/university because that's what she's been told to do all her life. (her words) It's completely unnecessary to her career path and just fills her with more stress and self-doubt. (She's failing a lot of her classes) there's some more frustration.
So you might be wondering, why haven't we broke up yet? Well, we did,or almost did, when she visited me a couple months ago, mainly because I was pissed for being blue-balled the entire time. My manipulative side played the "I've been putting so much effort into myself and our relationship, and you're not. If you can't do that then we should take a break" card. Thus giving me the go ahead to fuck whoever I want. One problem, I don't want anyone else. I mean, yeah, a lot of girls are attractive, but every time I got close to someone my heart would scream against it. Before this relationship, I had sex for the sake of just sex before and I'd always feel like a pile of shit after. I have to be satisfied emotionally and physically. (Yes, perfect for LDR) She miraculously was willing to forgive me.
That's the "sin" I guess, treating her like shit because problems in bed which tie into her mental condition.
That's where I'm at right now, drawing from the last remaining reserves of sympathy and understanding I've got, and I'm starting to go insane from it. The distance between us must be closed. Only then can I give her the kind of support she needs. If I can be a bigger part of her life, then I can really be there for her, give her the affection she needs, and perhaps encourage her to better herself more. My intention isn't to control her, though. Tried that once with someone else and it backfired in my face. I crave a meaningful, loving, and trusting relationship and that can only happen if she has control over her life. If she doesn't want me in it, I'll understand and respect her decision. I'd be hurt, but I'd understand. I also acknowledge that not taking medication isn't going to solve the root cause of her problems, and that in of itself will be a big obstacle to overcome. She really needs to do some personal growth and self-development-introspection stuff. I know that any intent behind her actions to better herself have to be because she want it and not because I'm telling her to, otherwise I'm just another idiot telling her what she wants and how she should live her life.
Things aren't completely hopeless, she's making more efforts to reach out to me when she's in a shit mood and I always get at least a giggle out of her before we stop talking. It's a start, but I'm worried that it's not going to go anywhere beyond that.
I can't afford to see her, I can't even afford to take care of myself. She'll need me after her bad grades blow up in her face. In my desperate insanity, I'm seriously considering doing some... immoral and potentially illegal things to get some fast cash so I can see her more often. I'm not concerned about getting caught, though perhaps I should be after posting this, but I am concerned if it'll be worth the guilt I'd feel, and the potential slippery slope. Especially after the effort I put in bettering myself after meeting her. Don't worry I'm not going to kill or physically injure anyone. It's just... I want to do good for other people, and anything that involves quick money means someone's going to suffer for it.
Thank you for reading. I'm not whether or not submitting this is going to help, but for some reason it felt like something I should do. I don't want to give up on this woman. I've never felt the need to put this much effort into someone before and that alone is special to me. I'll be following the thread and I'm looking forward to any comments.
Thanks, that was neither fun nor lighthearted.
Of course I haven't met either of you so you can't put ANY weight on what I say, but your relationship seems kinda fucked. You don't seem happy, and if you aren't happy in a relationship then it's probably not worth continuing, no matter who's "at fault." I don't think your current situation is good for either of you. But... I don't know you, or her.
sometimes it gets me down that it seems like im the odd man out for beleiving that things are just gonna turn out okay for the human race
Lots of people feel a bitterness towards optimists. I know I do sometimes. Not my best quality.
The only way you can counter me is by fishing for more sympathy, I already won, bitch
This must be the anti-commentary guy. Well, as you can tell, fishing for sympathy is practically my middle name, so I'm not really sure what your ultimate goal is here, my good cunt
j
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I think that Lua is an absolutely shitty language that has barely any documentation and reliable sources to learn it from.
Ever since I learned MATLAB, my response to every complaint about any language is "well, at least it's not MATLAB." So, just be glad it's not MATLAB.
I strongly suspect Tuskin is a prominent shit poster. That, or he just enjoys making really bad posts that contribute nothing to the topic.
Uh, who?
What's the point of getting "bitter towards optimists?"
I don't understand why you could possibly shit on optimists, they tend to be good people and they're what we sort of need right now.
I don't really get why some of the most positive philosophies (optimism/idealism) get shit on so much, if anything, they're the ones that get the most work done.
There's no point. People are just scared and unhappy, and can take that out on others. Not something to be proud of. But current climate change data makes people very pessimistic about our future and that feeling of doom can be really hard to deal with.
>Relationship problems, long post
Sorry if this seems a bit scattered, I think and remember things while typing and its quite late where I live, making me too lazy to properly reformat this.
Relationships in which one person suffers from conditions can be very hard to manage, especially when it comes to understanding how the other party truly feels. I won't really cover the whole medication or adhd causing her depression aspect primarily because I am not an expert. It certainly isn't a stretch in my opinion to say that the conditions are related, but I have no medical experience in that regard except with dealing with my own minor ADHD. I speak from experience in that trying to blame someones medication/condition for their behavior (nail in the head) can be an absolutely horrible idea if executed improperly. My last relationship was destroyed in part from me thinking and acting on the same line of thoughts which I thoroughly regret to this date and have been a direct contributor to my extremely poor mental state from January to May. Encouraging self growth and introspection is fantastic, but be careful of how it might come across or be mindful of how your partner comes across when they aren't interested.
Physical needs, especially for a male, can be a major source of contention for many couples. One partner might have a large sex drive, while the other's is nonexistent. It can be extremely frustrating to cope with to the point of affecting one parties mental state substantially. I've personally made mistakes in this regard which are painful to remember. It is something that really needs to be talked out about, especially with a long distance relationship. It can be incredibly frustrating to visit your partner for the first time in several months and you don't do anything, but there are relatively low effort alternatives to plain old sex.
They are spoilered mostly because it's NSFW.
NSFW [sp] Non penetrative sex is one of the better options; using parts of your partner but not specifically their genitals to pleasure yourself. In plenty of positions, it can be done to very little effort on the other parties end while being fairly gratifying for yourself. Having your partner use toys on you, including but not limited to a fleshlight for example, can also be an option. It's a bit higher effort but it's also another option [/sp] end NSFW
Of course, for some people it's not enough, but its certainly better than nothing, especially when you got blue balls.
Asides from the sex portion, the other part is more delicate; in my personal opinion, no matter how much you love this person, I recommend you to just wait for a more convenient opportunity and try to find other methods of coping with the distance. I sympathize with the need for physical contact probably as much as you do and it can be truly heartbreaking when you can't visit, but time will bring you together if you are so destined to be with one another. I have felt powerless when all I could do was express my thoughts, when I am a very touchy feely person who just wants to hug and cry. It will feel like your partner doesn't love you when they don't want to be physically affectionate, especially if you believe that actions speak substantially louder than words.
But believe me, someone who is willing to work through your differences to come to a common ground is always better than someone who will let you put your dick in them. It is rare that your physical needs can trump that emotional connection, but don't feel bad if they do. There are plenty of men and women out there who would be happier finding a partner who is more physical than their current one. I wouldn't call you an asshole for having those sorts of desires as it's simply an unfortunate part of being a human. Differing sex drives are fine for some relationships and people, but some can't cope with a significant different and it becomes a merciless cycle.
All in all, I see a bit of myself reflected in you. My personal advice sticks with what I have said before but I have a few other things I'll say if you stick with this partner. From what I can tell, you seem to be a fairly reasonable person with a healthy respect for your partner and consideration for how you are coming across; both extremely good traits in a person. Your problems you're having now might easily be resolved, or they could fester into something that kills your relationship.
Ultimately, maintain your current mindfulness. Helping your partner grow is a fantastic opportunity, but be mindful of how you come across. And exercise patience. If you ever need to vent your thoughts or frustrations, while it can help to vent them to your partner, it helps a lot to seek the input of a good friend you are open with. Just venting to your friend can be enough, but the advice they provide could make you realize things you missed or consider other solutions.
Man, partners having different sex drives seems to have the potential of being a MASSIVE pain in the ass, especially if everything else is perfectly compatible.
Not surprisingly that rare. Also can happen with the fact that people's sex drives change over time.
Apparently in both directions. I have read some shit on reddit where some people thought that they had a low libido/asexual only to then realize that they were just in a shitty sexual situation, and then have their libido wildly skyrocket out of fucking control with an actually compatible partner.
My previous partner always called me a needy and and horny bastard. It created major issues for us and went so far that I felt sexually impaired. Later on during different relationships, I noticed how she was kind of the "issue". Felt so much better when both partners are on the ssme level.
It would appear that your words may have ended up being VERY accurate.
The Facepunch Forums are closing soon
Please migrate this thread to KO ASAP
https://youtu.be/bo6kSVb38-s?t=33
goodnight sweet prince
Eh I know it's against the spirit of the thread to be all "that was my confession " but fuck that, cause man if it wasn't for AtomicSans giving me some fuckin sound advice, I'd probably still be a suicidal mess. While I'm far from good or anything, it's actually been nice to be able to go a day without thinking how cool it'd be to just be shot and to be done with life. Or general "hey let's die and wow I hate myself haha" thoughts.
So yeah I transitioned after the advice she gave, and Amaurus followed up on, so both you get props. And well I know in the confession I said I hadn't really had dysphoria, but turns out I do, but it's still rather minor than it could be, mostly about my face. But yeah in short, I'm doing better even if I can't transition in real life quite yet.
But hey cause of this thread giving me the push to submit that confession, it really kickstarted this whole thing and now I might actually live to see a point where I can transition in real life, or well, hell anything past 30. My plan was to just off myself then. And that's 3 years away and now I'm like, nah maybe not. So thanks for this thread. Hopefully things in the real life zone can move forward, but hey, I'm already doing much better than before, so I'll take it.
I'll do that for archival purposes at the very least but it's a lot of copy and pasting so it'll take a little while. I'll have it done by tonight
I meant more like keep this going in general.
Yeah I will, but first priority is making sure the confessions and my responses aren't lost
kk, love you babe. See you on the other side.
I'm seriously so glad. This alone makes the whole thing so, so much more than worth it for me.
Good luck <3
Oh and please if somebody has the technical ability, can somebody quickly make a capture of this thread so I can archive it? load times are slowing down and I'm worried the site will crash.
I believe @Inacio あそばせ and/or @Northern Lights are currently in the process of having a complete site snapshot, which hopefully this thread will be included.
https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/450868/9524d94b-0196-4ef9-89fe-8bd12d163ebe/Screenshot from 2019-06-11 20-24-26.png
Its being downloaded, but afterwards we really need to have a good think about what we are legally allowed to do with it.