Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: New Look, Same Dysphoria - General

They all think I don't know what I'm doing now. If I tried to explain this, they'd flip. 29 and I'm still the loser in the family. Go figure Right now I'm just kind of lost. I know what I'm capable of and I know I'm going back to school for comp sci stuff, figure I could start simple with help desk or whatever low-rung positions are available. Hell, I'm even looking into things I can do on-campus for work, even if its for peanuts. Doing anything out of state has me somewhat terrified, but I have some friends that I can crash with if I do end up getting evacuated. Be a nice springboard to jump from. Right now I'm at an emotional and mental low and this wasn't really what I wanted to find out either.

Well I don't normally offer to people I don't know, but if you end up near me (PM for location if you ever want a serious response) I have a couch you can crash on. I do Infocenter (basically higher tier Help Desk) so if you ever are curious about the field ask me about it as well. It can be a hard field to get into, but once you're in your in. Plus it makes it easy to get future IT jobs.

Thank you. I don't know if I'll take you up on that offer, but I'll keep it in my pocket. I am interested about Infocenter. I've done a bunch of menial administration work in my past, figure a lot of it could transfer over to such.

Well it's "called" Infocenter but like I said it's basically just Help Desk. I work on computer's all day long.

Oh. I mean, anything tech related. I know how to use my thumbs and a stapler, but not irresponsibly, so I think I got a leg up on the competition. That'd actually be ideal for me since a lot of my past work has been split between computers and phones and I've made and continually modified my main rig for a decade now without major hiccups so far (I think?).

It's always worth a shot. I highly recommend brushing up on troubleshooting/etc. Learn how to really utilize event viewer, understand terms like RDP (remote desktop protocol) and different uses for them, if you can learn some basic Active Directory even better. All sorts of fun things.

After looking up Active Directory and reading/watching a brief video, I actually found little to be confused by it. Feels like a watchdog system where you can monitor/change a lot of stuff. Probably more differently when applied in the field, but still.

Don't worry too much about all the inner workings because it'll all be managed (most of the time) by a System Admin. You just need to know that it's used by companies to manage user accounts.

Still good knowledge to have. Thank you for talking to me about all this. I feel a little better for the moment.

"Tranny" would be the same thing as "faggot," they're both still slurs. Which is also true of calling someone a "nigger" as well so the comparison still fits regardless.

It's not a very funny joke and they could've used any other word to convey their meaning. They just wanted to stir the pot.

Key point here being "with your friends." Would you do that shit in the middle of a public place? If so then you're very socially unaware because it would be completely inappropriate.

It's a public space still and the term "tranny" is not slang. It's a slur. You're really not getting this despite it being exceedingly straightforward and simple.

If someone is a part of a minority they have every right to go "hey, you're being an asshole, stop using that word to refer to me"

I feel that when it comes to releasing a skin on a forum with a noticeable transsexual community, labeling it as trannysparent while presuming that they will all find it amusing is not a desirable idea. It would have taken no effort whatsoever to name it something just as funny without making it potentially offensive to a demographic of people who are already frequently fucked over by labels.

That's not slang. This is a public space. Not everyone here is your friend. Do not think attempting to act coy and think 'it's a prank/joke bro, lol chill snowflake ' will excuse you and your use of words that are clearly insulting to others.

The very fact that it has pissed off people needlessly indicates that it was a poorly placed pun.

If it truly wasn't offensive, it wouldn't be necessary to argue about it and state that it isn't offensive.

It's always funny when someone insults a group of people and when the said group of people gets angry, the said person goes "hey I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't care lol" and still expects to be taken seriously What makes you feel that you have the right to say that "tranny" isn't as offensive as "nigger"? Both are slurs, meant to insult a specific group of people, they seem equally shitty to me

Thing is you're trying to come to the community that is being insulted by the term, and tell them that "Hey, you really shouldn't be getting insulted by this!". It'd be like me punching Craptasket in the face and telling everyone else he's being too sensitive, that it was a joke.

I want to make it as clear as possible. If you make joke X or say thing X, and then person Y says that they find X insulting: you just stop doing it. Because it's clearly upsetting them. No bullshit about "toughen up," if you have any social intelligence, you will stop saying something that you've been specifically told is offensive. That's it.

You don't even need to get it. You just need to not come across as lacking in empathy. When people are explaining it and you still just don't get it then you should probably consider that the issue may lie with you and quit digging your heels in.

You don't get the concept of adjusting your behavior because someone takes issue with your words?

it's stuff like this that seriously dampens my enthusiasm for trying to turn cis people into allies

I say all sorts of horrible awful shit with my friends. The thing is they're my friends so they know the context of me and my intentions. This is why people emphasize it's bad IN A PUBLIC SPACE

And - to emphasize - online communities are public spaces (excluding walled-off things like group chats and small discords.)

We apologize for the inexcusable attempt of pushing our view of politely requesting more consideration.

You don't really seem to have considered it. But you've basically outright proven you have next to no social awareness to begin with. (And no, autism isn't an excuse here. I know at least a few of us who are trying to explain this to you are autistic as well and most of us aren't lacking in social awareness.) It's really quite simple. Whether you find it offensive or not the majority of the group who the slur refers to do see it as offensive and for good reason, people use it as a derogatory term for them constantly. The solution is simple. Don't use it to refer to them, at least not in public. If you want to joke around and be offensive with friends then that's up to you. Just don't expect people to accept that behavior in public. And Facepunch is a public place so people are not going to accept it here, even if it is more casual than a typical public place.

If you say "lol that shit gay af" to your friends, and all of you are the type to make that joke, then sure, that's not much of an issue. But if you say it in a public forum - even if it is an unprofessional one - that's a different context. We're basically all strangers. It would be like making the joke among acquaintances - sure, you're all friendly, but you don't really know each other's boundaries. Nothing to cry over, sure, but still worthy of a disapproving "hrm." If we shouldn't cater to single people being offended, then why should we cater to the thread-maker's feelings? Why should we coddle them over a dumb insensitive pun, saying "shh, it's okay, that was a hilarious joke, of course it was, everyone who didn't like it are the real meanies"? Why go through so much trouble to value a dumb joke over people saying "that was a dumb joke"? Why drag this out? It really should have been just "trannysparent, get it", "that's a dumb title", and bam, that would be it.

Expecting the same respect everyone else gets isn't isn't being pushy.