Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: New Look, Same Dysphoria - General

man things just went from pretty good to absolutely fucking shit Got told I'm not getting the office job because they want someone with more experience, I might not get into the course I want to do because I have too many credits from a similar course and I missed my IPL session and now the funding is probably going to get pulled fuck me im going to bed

me too

has anyone here read "infect your friends and loved ones" i thought it was a pretty good little book

I've been trying. Realizing I'm trans kind of completely fucked me up emotionally to the point where I wish I'd never figured it out. The desire to improve is there but the energy and willpower just aren't.

WARNING: THIS RANT IS LONG (i am mtf trans) ugh so seeing as the doctor I was seeing privately in London stopped practicing, I got myself referred to the NHS gender clinic in Fulham only had one appointment so far but it seems to be a bit of a joke... I've been on hormones for 4 years already and they're grilling me about my experiences with gender growing up and "did i have male or female friends growing up" "did you play with girls toys or boys toys" like who cares... I present female every day and none of my friends/family refer to me by male names or pronouns and haven't done for years. I was very sad before I transitioned and now I am quite happy. What more do you really need to know? the stupid questions didn't stop there though, with useless questions such as "do you perform penetrative sex on your boyfriend?" why would that be any of your business? why would my sexual identity reflect on my gender identity in any way? there were also baseless assumptions. after asking what my dad did for a living, the old man interviewing me asked "and your mother, is she a home maker?" no, why would she be? nothing wrong with it but this isn't the 1950s. you can't just assume all married women are fucking housewives. to top it off he also could barely understand a word I was saying. I was speaking very clearly in plain English but he kept having me repeat everything I was saying, which honestly made it pretty much impossible to open up to him. Like every time I'd say something I found a bit embarrassing to talk about, such as what gender was like for me growing up, he'd just go "I'M SORRY, WHAT?" and I'd have to simplify my wording and say it extra loudly... it's just not an environment I find it possible to be open in. it was somewhat impossible to create a natural back and forth dialogue his final conclusion seemed to be that if I don't get my legal name changed by the next time I have an appointment, it would "raise some red flags". ugh! It's true I should have done it by now, but I have difficulty seeing why it's particularly important when I very clearly live my day to day life "in role" and nobody I know refers to me by my original name. I hardly consider myself non-binary, but I'm also not particularly bothered if I "pass". Like, as long as I look good and reasonably female I'm happy. because of this my voice isn't yet trained (it's on my todo list though). in an exchange with my previous, private doctor he asked me if it bothered me that I had a masculine voice. I said "Honestly, not really..." and he said something like "Okay that's great, as long as you're happy with your transition is going that's the most important thing" In stark contrast to this, I had the audacity to clear my throat in front of my new doctor at the NHS clinic and he said to me "obviously you're going to have do something about your voice." like... why do I -have- to do anything? it really pisses me off how binary they want me to be. It's my body, it's my life, just prescribe me the same drugs I've been prescribed for the last 4 years already. apparently my next appointment won't be until january, which is fine with me honestly, as they won't be breaking my current prescription at least until then. I'll post if it's any better than the last one. I really wanted all the stories I'd read online about this place to be over-exaggeration and falsehoods but honestly, it really does feel like they're stuck in the past and their "one size fits all" approach seems flawed. also ofc, I am not a child and answered all the questions honestly and kept smiling the whole time. I wouldn't do a dramatic rant like this in person, so I hope nobody here thinks I'm being overdramatic. I'd be interested to read about other NHS patients experiences with any of the gender clinics in the UK.

Oh god those fucking questions, yeah they ask those questions to everyone and they're completely pointless and bullshit, you'd think considering you've already transitioned they'd just push you right on through but nope, gotta follow the list and do all these stupid fucking checkboxes and tick them off. As for the whole repeating bullshit, every damn doctor I've seen so far over this shit had done that too, its very annoying, its like they're intentionally trying to stall you but its entirely pointless in your case. With me they've fucked around with my shit for over 6 years now and I'm still not OK'd to transition, they want my fucking living conditions to improve before they'll put me back onto the fucking list. I'm honestly just going to call and get back on it like next week because I'm finishing my degree this week, there is absolutely nothing to tie me down anymore other than if my parents sell the house, if that happens I'll just have to deal with it, the NHS doesn't need to know and honestly they can fuck right off, I've been stalled and fucked around with so much I'm losing patience on all of this and its not helping my health overall with all this crap. Between it being so slow and doctors who purposely pull your leg, the NHS sucks with it comes to this shit.

As for the whole repeating bullshit, every damn doctor I've seen so far over this shit had done that too, its very annoying, its like they're intentionally trying to stall you but its entirely pointless in your case. holy shit? a friend of mine said he might just be trying to "antagonize" me but I wrote it off as her being needlessly over-dramatic (sorry if you're reading this Willow <3) but if that's true then wow, that's fucking disgusting!?? what an absolute waste of life. btw, good luck to you getting back on that waiting list. the guy said to me that I'm "lucky" because they're currently done accepting new patients (as of 30 days ago) until they've dealt with their current backlog. while waiting a year between appointments obviously isn't ideal for their current patients, simply refusing to accept new patients seems like a completely misguided solution. I can't even imagine the pain of literally not being able to afford to go private and being told that you just have to wait until they are accepting new patients again (could be months? YEARS?). like at least being on a waiting list means you're in the system somewhere, not even having that sounds unbearable. I understand that money isn't infinite and me saying "just pour more money into this desperately underfunded clinic!" is very idealist but... still. I don't think they're making the right call.

You'd think that but its all bureaucracy bullshit, they can't avoid it.

NHS transcare is a fucking joke. I am a Dutch resident who is back in the UK until next summer and I was approved for HRT on the Dutch system within 3 months. NHS Scotland is particularly bad; said they would take over my medication while in the UK then basically turned around and spat in my face and put me on another waiting list.

Telling potential employers, in a conservative environment, that you're trans feels like a shotgun is aimed right at my head at all times. aaaa

I hear it's easier in the United States... you have Informed Consent for example, right?

This is true! Though I'm still fumbling around in looking for a nearby clinic. I really need to go someplace that is less old people.

Planned Parenthood most likely won't need you to be TruTrans:tm: and won't turn you down. I got delayed a bit because I had some mental health stuff I needed to work out (I started a new medication that gave me really bad anxiety and I scheduled the appointment sometime after I started), but it was only 6 months before I started. I can't imagine being in a place where there isn't at least one Planned Parenthood nearby unless it's bumfuck Oklahoma If employers are an issue you should probably bite the bullet and not try to pass or be out at work. It blows but it's either that or risk not having a job. Depending on your state you might be able to make a valid claim of discrimination clause but again heavily dependent on your state, I'd look up the basic laws of your state and contact a lawyer from there if you think you can make a case. (I don't know what state you're in)

Oh I've gone over my state's issues (Pennsylvania). I'm hearing that I'd be better off going to an individual gender therapist over a center in this state because of how the centers operate. I think I've found some clinics that could be useful, but I need to be certain. All else fails, I self-med myself into oblivion

i'm going to a pride prom!! bought a dress and everything, i'm so exicted i could explode

That sounds rad as heck. Have fun!

FFS went great! Was finally able to open my eyes on the second day allowing me to head home ,now to just recover https://i.imgur.com/EgaUg7il.jpg

Oh dang. We well soooon (so you can show off that face everywhere!) c:

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i used to post here a longass time ago under the username lebowski and i decided to check the forums out again on a nostalgic whim at the time i was posting on here i thought i was a bi dude but after getting outta a really shitty relationship with a highschool friend who decided to get on testosterone to transtion, i kinda was desperate for anything to fix my life and decided to try estrogen out so now i'm this weird NB fag creature what's good y'all

HRT isn't going to fix all your problems for you, just saying, but if it's setting you on a good path then I'm very happy for you!

oh yeah, i'm two years in now and definitely figured that out pretty quickly lol // i'm def way more emotionally stable w/ it, i'm actually 18 days away from a breast augmentation consultation n i've for sure been in emotional recovery instead of turmoil lately

That's awesome! Jealous as heck

IDK if yr in the US but i'm in the pacific northwest n both washington and oregon state insurance pay 4 it // lotta people i know hopped trains to get here and crashed on couches n shit and got established up here specifically for it and got those State Paid Titties which -- like, government paid titties is the funniest thing to me?? but ye keep yr chin up and scheme like a motherfucker bc even without money here there's definitely ways to get it!!

California is pretty shit for this stuff unfortunately :c

yeahhhhhhh i'm originally from fresno, california and came up here bc of the state healthcare

Literally how it's probably one of the best states for it, at the very LEAST top 10 states to be trans in.

rights definitely aren't an issue but i think specifically they were referring to what state healthcare covers, and from what i know i think cali still won't cover 'mones and surgeries like oregon or washington do

They absolutely will, their medicaid covers it explicitly in its language and the state mandates private insurance to cover it. If you're being denied HRT coverage by your insurance company sue their ass and get a Civil Rights law firm to represent you. https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/215602/d13b56e4-f8b0-4f9c-96e8-21c174f13d5a/image.png

I'm only pretending to be an actual adult so I don't know how anything works but so far, everything I've tried has either told me "no" or cost too much money for me to be able to pay.

Okay. Figure out if you qualify for medicaid benefits in California. You can do this if you have a qualifying disability that inhibits your ability to work or if you make below a certain income. You might need to produce some medical documents if you are doing it on disability. That's your best bet because it's free insurance and has no co-pay requirements. Your next best bet is if you qualify for ACA subsidies (Although I think Trump stopped paying these? I have no idea, he threatened to multiple times) on regular insurance, so you still have to deal with paying premiums and co-pays but the federal government covers some of it. Your last bet is just buying insurance. Do You Qualify? | Medi