Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: New Look, Same Dysphoria - General

Nyet. Sorry for bringing it up.

Well. My father, being the nosy fuck he is, found out what I was taking by googling it and cornered me. Turns out, he's okay with it. Indifferent with the entire thing, but its leagues better than my mother who is actually threatening to toss me out because she "can't stand this transgender stuff" (she doesn't know). How the fuck does a military vet with ~30 years experience have more care than a sociology graduate? Jesus christmas

One of the most progressive people I've personally known was a middle school history teacher who saw active duty in Vietnam

The most hardcore leftists I know are guys who went to war as hardcore rightwingers. War changes people, for good and bad.

I mean yeah. He's just a very angry individual. That, combined with our horrid history, I suspected him to be the least accepting of this change. While I'm relieved he's at least indifferent, I'm concerned for the rest. This is gonna be interesting

apparently i'm lactating a little bit now according to my boyfriend

do you take progesteron?

Went to my counseling session today. Told her my story and stuff and was pretty much immediately referred to an endocrinologist. She said I could call them and give them my name and tell them who sent me and they'll get me sorted out ASAP. I just need to schedule an appointment now. However the counselor was kinda weird. I only got two red flags while talking to her, which was she seemed a bit "ADHD", and she asked me to write an "autobiography" of myself for her for our next session. Super weird to me but she basically set me up for medication so writing a small paper is nothing. The session was also pretty expensive, and she doesn't take insurance, so I was a bit skeptical. Anyway, going to schedule an appointment with this endocrinologist and see how long that takes to get me in.

Nopers. Thinking about getting on it though, heard it helps breast development

why?

Bio-identical is crucial because it identically represents what a cis-girl would biologically make hence the name bio-identical. The alternative is a close approximation or creative engineering having little to no resemblance on a biological level. Non-bioidentical is what gives progesterone (and estrogen) a bad rep because your body often doesn't know what to make of it and it can cause a slew of problems in your body (in progesterone's case it's sleepiness and/or depression possibly pretty badly as I've seen. Everybody reacts differently). But since bio-identical is the same as what a cis-girl makes it'd make as much sense as seeing a cis-girl suddenly getting sick, depressed, and sleepy all the time when she hits puberty because of the hormone production (at least I've never heard of it) Shit I'm just looking up RESULTS: Patients report greater satisfaction with HRTs that contain progesterone compared with those that contain a synthetic progestin. Bioidentical hormones have some distinctly different, potentially opposite, physiological effects compared with their synthetic counterparts, which have different chemical structures. Both physiological and clinical data have indicated that progesterone is associated with a diminished risk for breast cancer, compared with the increased risk associated with synthetic progestins. Estriol has some unique physiological effects, which differentiate it from estradiol, estrone, and CEE. Estriol would be expected to carry less risk for breast cancer, although no randomized controlled trials have been documented. Synthetic progestins have a variety of negative cardiovascular effects, which may be avoided with progesterone. This too Basically, bio-identical is that, biologically identical to the real stuff. Compared to the synthetic stuff, which come with a row of nasty things. That said, the saying is the same: YMMV.

went to get a haircut the other day. I introduced myself as [girl name] and my hairdresser was like "oh! did you say your name was [girl name]? that's my name too!!" and we laughed about it and then she was like "I didn't know there were boys with that name!" and I told her I wasn't a boy and she didn't hear me b/c her assistant said something at the same time lol next time I'll wear a dress

Dysphoria hitting me hard today, been really stressed the last week, bordering on triggering a stress psychosis. If it wasnt for drugs I would be hurting myself now, thanks drugs.

What kinds of alternative drugs for HRT are there? I am on Estrodiol and Spironolactone right now, but I thought I had heard of some form of bio-estrogen (???) drug that started with a 'v' that also acted as a kind of antiandrogen and would help reduce the amount of spiro that I need, and progesterone?

I'm not certain about 'alternatives', but this bio-estrogen, probably bioidentical, is somewhat similar to what was discussed above: It's made to be biologically identical to the natural substance produced. A quick google search found me: https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/what-are-bioidentical-hormones Are you thinking of: https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/229850/2665d59e-4958-4c96-afec-8cfeadba043c/image.png ?

sounds like something from an alternate reality chuck tingle book

Pounded In The Will To Live By My Own Dysphoria

This is happening hard right now, all suicide hotlines are down at the moment and I can't afford international calls. Having extreme work related issues and I basically fear starving to death before next wage dropping.

So the drug I was looking for is called Finasteride.

i don't know what to think anymore and i think i need help. i can't escape a feeling of wrongness in my waking life. I feel wrong in every way. The only way i feel true to myself is drunkenness, stoned-ness, LSD-highness. how do I reconcile my dysphoric feeling with my conveniently neutral facade I put on for the passers by? I can tell that my sober self will feel the need to delete this in denial of my true self, please someone tell me how an mtf transgender should try to realize their true feelings and existence in a sober context so i can finally try to grow as a human? Suicide has been on my mind so often- I've felt the need so often that I think it's more of a personality trait than a problem. If this isn't comprehensible I apologize, I find myself able to convey my true existence only in compromised states; please forgive logical or grammatical errors-- I can't bear my own identity in a sober state. If this ends up deleted, know that it isn't your fault. I feel as though I can't exist anymore, as conflicted as i am. I love you all, I envy your courage, and your tenacity in the hard world we are all forced to live in.

Oh! That's a common supplement to AA's. Not sure about the bioidentical estrogen, but it's definitely used to suppress DHT (typically for hair growth reasons) (I'll delete this if you decide to delete it yourself) In all honesty, accepting yourself for who you really are is probably the hardest. Some realize it sooner than others. Some struggle with the very idea. Some remain closeted and try hiding themselves in plain sight just to avoid potential harassment (which is why I wear a hoodie non-stop ). One thing is certain: The more you feel its true, and the more you try to suppress it, the worse toll it'll take on your mental and physical health. There are some benign tests that exist, such as the button test, that you can ask yourself. You can seek out a gender therapist if it isn't enough, who will assess you in a professional manner. A general therapist may also help you out with your suicidal thoughts as well. Hopefully this was somewhat useful? I'm sorry you're going through this. I had the same goddamn feeling when I was slowly coming to terms with it, even crying myself to sleep over it. Truth be told, my bouts of suicidal thoughts have fallen to the wayside so hard, but will resurface occasionally. It's actually incredible to be (somewhat) free of that vice.

I know the feeling, please don't kill yourself, my brother did that and it tore the family apart irreversibly, I haven't felt as lonely as I do now, two years after he is gone, I feel like the endling of a species.

Anyone had any experience with vaniqa? My doctor has recommended it because I have very dark facial hair.

I just had my first round of laser hair removal today. It hurt far worse than I was expecting, but at least I'm on my way to having a smooth, shadow-free face. I'm definitely picking up the pain killer cream next time tho holy shit

I made it through 7 sessions on my face without it, but honestly I probably should have just been using it from the start so that they could really crank that shit up to max tolerance levels.

I've had two laser sessions so far, it hurts on upper lip quite a lot but otherwise the sessions are completely manageable because they last like two minutes. Too bad I won't be able to get all of my facial hair gotten rid of, the laser operator said that each session removes about 15% of hair and I was given 5 free sessions so after those I need to pay from my own wallet and laser is fucking expensive.

checking back in, feeling a lot better (coming out helped me come to terms i guess lol) Considering how to move forward rn

So I doubt this is the best place to go asking about something like this, but as of late I've completely forgotten about/become disheartened with transitioning. A lot of things have been changing in my life, whether it be moving back to my hometown or focusing on actually finishing school, and it feels like the goal of trying to become more feminine has been completely lost in this pool of distractions in life. On top of that, I've lost friends over transitioning, friends that were deep-rooted into my circle that I could consider to be close and reliable. They really made me think of whether or not I was transitioning for myself or just to ride the trend. I was supposedly just an obnoxious, emotional mess whenever they were around me and felt better off just not having to "deal" with a "new me." Even my girlfriend is noticeably uncomfortable with me being a trans-girl, despite her hardest efforts to be there and supportive of me. I've been considering a lot of things, like if being a woman really is me or if it's because other people convinced me it was the right thing, is transitioning even an investment that it worth it (and from what I hear, transitioning will cost me out the ass, so I want to make this right for both me and my bank account), and if I'm really going to dedicate myself to the hormones and a different life of sterility, difficulty "in bed", and being more emotionally volatile than I already am. I'm not even sure anymore if I'm ready to take such a risk given the events that I've kinda listed (some things are complicated/I don't really want to discuss in public). So I guess the question is, where should I look to next and what I should focus on if I truly find it in my heart to transition? Should I reconsider everything and just stick to being cisgendered, is it really worth all the things I've lost and are going to lose? Where can I go to find some reasonable help with no patronizing and no bullshit?

Find a therapist that has experience with gender dysphoria if you have not seen one. GD is not always solved by transitioning, so it is completely possible that you experience it and can have a different solution. Having lost most of my high school friends, friends that I was in pretty regular contact with right up until I came out, I can say that transitioning was absolutely worth the cost. Even losing 5 friends that I've had more than 15 years of history with each. I will never, ever go back. I'll die before I give up being a woman.