Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: New Look, Same Dysphoria - General

i think the concept of a trans person not even trying to look like the gender they're transiting to and on top of that getting mad if you misgender them is what they're getting annoyed at even though i doubt that happens

Afaik dave has zero animosity towards transfolk. Hes just old and has trouble understanding it.

Unfortunately it does happen, I know somebody who does exactly that, always really frustating to deal with because they make a big deal about them being trans too. Made it harder for me to come out to the group of friends because theor experiences with her made them concerned that Id be the same way. Really though, to the people who complain, they're very much outliers, and its not fair to group others as just as bad.

It'd be silly to be annoyed at people for misgendering when they 1) don't know you 2) you're not currently trying to physically transition like I consider myself nb right now with a heavy masc leaning and prefer "he" but pretty much everyone still calls me ma'am because hey guess what I got boobs and sometimes you can see them even when I'm wearing big men's shirts and my hair is still medium length also I'm tiny and have an unfortunately feminine physique so it's gonna happen. unless someone were poking me repeatedly and saying "UM YOU'RE A GIRL" just to get me bothered, I'm not gonna get upset by people referring to me as a she

I dont think anyone actually trans beyond some made up straw man gets mad at misgendering, sure it hurts when you try your best to look the part but... You cant really blame someone for making an honest mistake unless they are intentionally making such statements to flaunt how cool and clever they are.

My experience with misgendering has always been a person behind a counter when I'm buying something not really glancing up at me and greeting me based on my voice, so I usually just pretend I didn't hear them and when they do look up they get kind of flustered and say something without any gender distinction. Most people just don't notice ~shrug~

I don't even correct my super close friends when they (constantly) misgender me because I can't fault them. I've given them all The Talk and sometimes they correct themselves, but I don't look or sound like a girl, I'm in perpetual boymode so it's only natural for them to misgender me.

Maybe I'm weird, but I always felt uncomfortable being called by my chosen gender when I'm not trying to pass. Like at work, the people there who know I feel it would be really weird to not be called by my given name and as a he/him, but when I'm home even if I don't have my hair on I'm usually wearing my bra and a beanie to hide my hair I feel I'm passing 'well enough' that it wouldn't be weird. I don't know.

is it wrong to think that its too late for me to take any proper action towards transitioning? im already 22, not taking care of myself or my physique and i cant help but think of the worst when it comes to what i might turn out like (current day chris-chan springs to mind). i know its not the right thing to do but i just cant imagine this working out

I’m 26 and I’m still not ready to physically transition. There are people who don’t transition til their 40s or 50s. Never too late man.

I began my transition just a couple months ago in December, and I'm turning 25 the end of June. Before transitioning, as a boy, probably around 22? https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/228525/9b383e13-5b32-4694-b5ab-dd90d5c41256/13423897_10204994081572006_3503509070947265321_n.jpg And this is me again, just last weekend. https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/228525/1efc7256-8c5c-408f-b73a-fb18e112020e/IMAG0018.jpg

I hear that a lot, but I'm worried about what you miss out on (if anything) if you start earlier.

Uhhhh I mean I imagine that transitioning later on may take a little more time, maintenance, and money if you live in a place where getting things like surgery or hair removal done can cost a bit, but other than that, nothing really. People gotta go at their own pace sometimes. It's the same thing when you're trying to decide when the right time is to "come out" as gay. There's not really a right time. Just the right time for you.

I started a year ago, when I was 28. Probably one of the better choices I've made in my lifetime ( I'm already terrible looking so I won't have to worry about becoming worse :v ). You're never too late to start. Like Pascall said, go at your own pace. Where did that one post go saying this exact same thing?

Oh yeah, here's a couple of helpful resources for folks who are considering transitioning but unsure about what happens in it or what kind of changes to expect and an extra one that's super helpful when you need it: https://apps.carleton.edu/campus/gsc/assets/hormones_MTF.pdf - Hormones : A guide for MTFs https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy - Information on Estrogen Hormone Therapy http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ - Trevor's Project, an LGBT+ suicide hotline (also offers chat room and texting services)

It is but I think after enough time has passed, it doesn't work lol.

I'm 23 and I havent done anything for transitioning so I'm in the same boat. Hang in there sister

Oh. Well now I'm red. :c

Is it a bad thing that nearly all the things it says not to expect (which I didn't expect) have happened to me? I'm really extroverted now after having been fairly shy, I stopped taking my antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills when I started looking for HRT, my self-image has improved a fuck-load (just fuck off chin, like seriously, that is probably going to need a bit of cosmetic stuff, but oh well, fuck everyone). I started making new friends because I felt like I lost all my old ones(something I did not expect), I've started going on actual dates instead of trying to get random hookups. I actually ENJOY going out now; shopping for clothes, going out to eat, even getting gas was an anxiety ridden experience for me (I didn't quite understand why for the longest time either, hell I was ON ANTI-ANXIETY DRUGS). I don't know about losing my male aspects, I feel like the only one I even care about is how masculine my chin is, but I have absolutely no illusions about that, its all bone and that isn't changing, no sir.

Sstarting HRT was one of the hardest things I've ever done but one of the. Oat rewarding. I loathes what I looked like for a year on HRT. I looked like an in between mess and I hated it so god damn much. After a year though I started seeing really big changes and it has just been incredible after that. I stopped wanting to die, I was able to finally let go of marijuana as a crutch for the depression, became more extroverted and especially a lot capmer. I used to have very bad anger problems and the HRT + keeping myself under control helped w lot. Been going strong for 5 years now.

I've always been regarded as quite a "feminine" guy, and have had trouble taking part in typically masculine behaviours/activities, fuelling a lot of insecurity, being regarded as weak or antisocial etc. It is only recently that I have even considered the possibility of re-identifying myself, and the prospect of this is causing me a lot of dysphoria, it is the first thing I think of every morning now, but not sure if I'm brave enough to make that huge change in my life. Not sure where I'm going with this but just thought I'd vent.

Hello, I have a question regarding the term "trap". Lately I've been seeing a lot of pushback against the word in my Twitter feed and I always feel like I'm missing the context of it's use that riles people up. Is its use when referring to transgender people what's deemed offensive or is the whole term seen as offensive? Or if it's more nuanced, can that be explained as well? Thanks in advance.

it represents a mindset that gets transgirls killed: it implies we intend to trick people into having sex with a man. It is a disgusting mindset imo.

it's also commonly used as a catch all term, for folks who appear to be the opposite sex but are biologically not, which also grabs hold of trans folks making it seem like, as mud said, that trans people are merely trying to trap folks

It's not strictly used the same way as trans as a term, although you could argue there's some gender nonconformity going on. A trap is a particularly effeminate male crossdresser, typically in a porn setting, especially hentai. The issue most trans people have with it is that the term plays on the trope that mtf trans people are scary men out to turn you gay by trapping you into having sex with them.

I see. Thanks for the info. I think I'll swerve from using the word at all then (don't think I ever actually did) since there are better terms for both sides this touches upon. (Also since no useful or informative rating, have a coin y'all beautiful people)

I don't have a problem with the term trap. If a guy wants to crossdress and be a literal trap then that's fine by me. Just don't associate me with them. Also I disagree that it "reinforces a mindset that gets trans people killed." Tjats a bit of a stretch.

Well, it's literally a slur so yeah, someone using it is a pretty good indicator that maybe they're a garbage human being.

mfw theres a cool job opening up in my city that i can take which includes health care/dental/etc. which would open the door to hrt but i have zero self confidence to apply. how do i trust myself

What have you got to lose? Worst they can say is no and you'll be right back to where you are now.