[QUOTE=extremist18;21995235]reminds me of this, posted a few threads back:
[img_thumb]http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/7783/1268001802579.jpg[/img_thumb]
Are there any more?[/QUOTE]
God damn you, that was such a good read and sounded like it could really be like that until I read those damn red words.
[QUOTE=xpod1;21998539][IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/14jxe8n.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Wow that reminds me of Monsters Inc, with all those doors and portals, how about anyone else?
[QUOTE=extremist18;21995235]reminds me of this, posted a few threads back:
[img_thumb]http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/7783/1268001802579.jpg[/img_thumb]
Are there any more?[/QUOTE]
That was pretty deep.
[img]http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-sjc1/hs395.snc3/24048_1409584648212_1490352873_31076747_4995713_n.jpg[/img]
first time i've ever come across it >.<
Nobody moves like that, I hate that picture.
[QUOTE=Henry Townshend;21995791][img]http://www.cubeupload.com/files/234a00santa.gif[/img][/QUOTE]
I was listening to Metallica - Cure, and this fit perfectly haha.
[QUOTE=bethanygrace;21999222][img]http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-sjc1/hs395.snc3/24048_1409584648212_1490352873_31076747_4995713_n.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
I have that shirt :D
[QUOTE=xpod1;21998539][IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/14jxe8n.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you.
Me too.
[IMG]http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/5847/61297884.jpg[/IMG]
[editline]07:42PM[/editline]
[IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/fu6u5h.jpg[/IMG]
Sorry guys... someone wana fix that ^^^
Ladies and gentlemen... the complete experiment log of [url=http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/experiment-log-914]SCP-914[/url], courtesy of the SCP Foundation.
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Experiment Log 914
SCP-914 » Experiment Log 914
rating: +42+–x
Note to all Researchers:
please include your name on all records, along with date and total number of items "refined".
Researchers are responsible for all "Output". Should damage or loss of life occur, the researcher will be subject to administrative review and possible disciplinary action.
Biological testing has been suspended. Any biological testing must be cleared by 05 Command.
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Name: Dr. █████ with Dr. ███████ assisting.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 1x 900-pound steel girder cut into five equal sections. One section will be inserted on each setting.
Input: 1x one hundred eighty (180) pound steel girder section.
Setting: Rough
Output: One hundred eighty (180) pound sculpture made from laser-cut & heat-welded steel girders.
Setting: Coarse
Output: Stack of domestic steel interior structure girders weighting one hundred eighty (180) pounds.
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x one hundred eighty (180) pound stainless steel girder section.
Setting: Fine
Output: Iron filings weighing one hundred eighty (180) pounds.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Cloud of gas, fifty-seven percent (57%) normal Earth atmosphere, forty-three percent (43%) iron gas.
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Name: Dr. █████ with Dr. ███████ assisting.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 5x One (1) pound jars of crunchy peanut butter. One jar will be inserted on each setting.
Input: 1x One (1) pound jar of crunchy peanut butter. Rough
Output: One (1) pound raw unroasted peanuts in a plastic screw-top container.
Setting: Coarse
Output: 85x Peanut butter flavored crackers packaged in a plastic tube.
Setting: 1:1
Input: 1x One (1) pound jar of crunchy peanut butter of another brand.
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x One (1) pound jar of creamy peanut butter.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x One (1) pound artificial peanut-free peanut butter-flavored food additive.
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Name: Dr.Gears and Dr. █████
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 2x laptop computers
Input: 1x laptop computer (Dell Latitude D630) belonging to Dr. █████
Setting: Coarse
Output: Small pile of computer parts. When re-assembled, created a Dell 630 laptop
Input: 1x laptop computer (Dell Latitude D630) belonging to Dr.Gears
Setting: Very Fine
Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]. It also appears to be partially biological in nature, though no intelligent behavior has been observed. Item is not to be connected to a outside power or network source until testing has been completed. New laptop issued to Dr.Gears
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Name: Dr. ████ with Dr. ███████ assisting
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 3x "mushroom" shape 60 watt incandescent light bulbs. 1x bulb will be inserted on each setting
Input: 1x bulb
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x 60 watt incandescent light bulb, "bullet" shape
Input: 1x bulb
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Fluorescent light bulb
Input: 1x bulb
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x light bulb, looking identical to the first: when screwed into the socket and switched on it provided light 10 times brighter than the original bulb. Analysis of the inside of the bulb found it filled with gases of unknown composition.
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Name: Dr. Byron with Dr. █████ assisting
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: Five (5) copies of Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter
Setting: Rough
Output: Small pile of shredded paper
Setting: Coarse
Output: 1x block of wood the same size as the original book; 1x unlabeled ink cartridge presumably for a high-speed printer.
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x copy of Nathaniel Hawthorne's The House of Seven Gables
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x copy of The Scarlet Letter as part of the "Childrens' Literature Classics Series;" an abbreviated version of the original book with simpler language.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x six (6) page document summarizing The Scarlet Letter.
Note from Dr. Byron: This experiment was suggested to me by my son, who got visibly upset when I refused to give him the result from the "Very Fine" setting. While I admire his ingenuity and interest in following in his father's footsteps, I must not encourage my son to cut corners, especially in his schooling. I did, however, give him the output from 1:1 so he could "manually process this intake at a 'Very Fine' setting."
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Name: Agent █████████ with Dr. █████ assisting
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: Components for an 19th century typewriter; helium balloon
Input: Individual components for a 19th century typewriter
Setting: Fine
Output: Metals from input materials, separated out into rectilinear blocks of varying sizes and densities, and an inkwell
Input: Metal blocks
Setting: Fine
Output: Metal blocks of assorted simple shapes, including stars, circles, hearts, pyramids, and, in one case, ███████
Input: Shaped metal blocks
Setting: Coarse
Output: Undifferentiated dross composed of iron and other elements from the input materials
Input: Undifferentiated metallic dross
Setting: Rough
Output: Unidentified rock with metallic elements present
Input: Helium balloon, blue
Setting: 1:1
Output: Helium balloon, red
Input: Helium balloon, red
Setting: Fine
Output: Long, thin helium balloon twisted into a biological shape resembling SCP-682
Note: Experiments have shown that the balloon demonstrates a high resilience to attempts to puncture or pop it, but fortunately lacks the nihilistic vitriol against existence possessed by the original SCP and is, in fact, inanimate.
Input: Balloon animal
Setting: Coarse
Output: Frozen latex glove containing liquid helium
Input: Glove of liquid helium with metallic rock
Setting: 1:1
Output: Stone vial of liquid latex with helium gas
Input: Stone vial of liquid latex with helium gas
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Miniature airship (suspended at 1.64 meters when released, but immobile)
Input: Miniature airship
Setting: Rough
Output: Helium balloon, green
Note from Dr. █████: There seems to be some difficulty as to the meaning of "fine" and "coarse" on the settings; the machine appears to be capable of refining input based either on a scale of complexity (loss of entropy accompanied by increase in connectivity between components and/or acquisition of subjective meaning) or of simplification (separation into composite materials and loss of meaning).
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Name: Dr.Gears
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 4x clockwork pocket watch, belonging to Dr.Gears
Input: 1x gold-plated pocket watch
Setting: Fine
Output: Small clockwork bird. When the tail is pressed, it produces a robin's call.
Input: 1x gold-plated pocket watch
Setting: Fine
Output: Toy clockwork train engine.
Input: 1 gold- plated pocket watch
Setting: Fine
Output: Miniature grandfather clock, fully functional.
Input: 1 gold- plated pocket watch
Setting: Fine
Output: Small metal sculpture of a piano.
Notes from Dr.Gears: it appears there is a high level of randomness when SCP-914 "refines" a item. However, it seems to preserve some element of its original composition, in this example, clockworks. This is not a law, but a high probability. Refine a metal bar, and you're more likely to get a simple metal object than a internal combustion engine. Both, however, are possible.
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Name: Dr. Iceberg
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 3x Playboy magazines, 2x concussion grenades,
Input: 1 Playboy
Setting: Rough
Output: A pile of papers and three staples. Review shows them to be all the original pages, but with the staples removed, and each picture separated from the one on the opposite side.
Input: 1 Playboy
Setting: 1:1
Output: A Playboy issue from a different month. Later examination proved it to be exactly the same as the issue it had become.
Input: 1 Playboy
Setting: Very fine
Output: One life-size fold out of a female, which near all males who have seen it have called "incredibly sexy." Possible use as a morale booster to be considered after further psychological testing is complete.
Input: 2x concussion grenades
Setting: Very fine
Output: A large white aerodynamic sphere, approximately 99.9% the size and 99.99999% the mass of the original two grenades. A twin circle pin is attached to the top. Has been nicknamed "the Holy Hand Grenade" by Iceberg, and is currently in his possession for research.
Note: Recommend removing this object from Dr. Iceberg, and passing it on to a more experienced researcher. Perhaps Dr Clef, or Gears. Not Kain.
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Name: Dr. Bright
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 5 20.3cm Little Pearl Vibrators
Input:1 Little Pearl Vibrator
Setting: Rough
Output: 1 Little Pearl Vibrator, bisected down the long axis by what appears to be a very sharp cutting tool. Provide a perfect cross-section of the item.
Setting: Coarse
Output: 2 d batteries, pile of plastic pellets
Setting: 1:1
Output:1 fist shaped plastic vibrator
Setting: Fine
Output:1 much more complex vibrator, including reservoir tip applicator filled with unknown lubricant, multiple turning rings, and studs that pop out when the handle is twisted.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1 small black box, bearing a red button. When the button is pressed, everyone in line of sight of the object except the holder experiences an overpowering orgasm.
Note: The Very Fine has been confiscated by Oversight, due to potential for misuse.
Note: Dr. Bright has been forcibly removed from any further experimentation involving SCP-914, and all output objects have been destroyed. This is just getting silly. -Dr. Kondraki
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Name: Dr. Ouros
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 1x pill of SCP-500
Input: 1x Pill
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x spherical metal locket, now classified as SCP-427
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Name: Dr. Zemyla Cenh
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: 3x identical wooden cross pendants, 7.6cm (3in) long
Input: 1x cross
Setting: Rough
Total items: 1x fragment of wood of the same mass, cut flat on 3 sides. This may be a fragment of a larger cross.
Input: 1x cross
Setting: 1:1
Total items: A wooden rosary, held together not with string, but by wooden links between the beads.
Input: 1x cross
Setting: Very fine
Total items: 1 wooden cross with a soft pearlescent radiance. This cross soothes the holder and may be effective against ███████-type SCPs.
Notes from Dr. Cenh: This may imply that SCP-914 has an understanding of religion. More experiments with religious items are indicated.
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Name:Dr. V███ Palmer
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: 80 doses of MDMA (150 mg dosage), 80 doses of gelatin LSD, high potency solution (150 ug dosage), and 40 doses of Sildenafil [trademark, "Viagra"] (50 mg dosage).
Input: 20 doses MDMA, 20 does of LSD,
Setting: Rough
Output: A small pile of powder weighing approximately 165 mg. Chemical composition identical to input.
Input: 20 doses MDMA, 20 does of LSD
Setting: 1:1
Output: Twenty (20) 160 mg gel capsules, yellow-green in color. One (1) capsule administered to male D-class test subject, resulting in subject experiencing effects of intense euphoria, marked improvement in mood, and some psychedelic visuals after a period of 25 minutes. Effects lasted for 10 hours, after which subject experienced a "crash" with symptoms of a bad hangover and severe depression lasting for a two week period. More tests pending, but effect seems to be a combination of both drugs with a more severe "crash" period than unrefined MDMA.
Input: 20 doses MDMA, 20 does of LSD, and 20 doses "Viagra"
Setting: Fine
Output: One hundred (100) 16.5 µg gel capsules, opalescent yellow in color. One (1) capsule administered to female D-class test subject, resulting in intense euphoria, a feeling of "serenity", and had a strong desire to be in close physical contact with others, with onset occur after a period of 5 minutes. Subject remained in this state for a period of 78 hours, after which subject entered a catatonic state lasting a period of nearly four weeks. Subject showed extreme hostility after awakening and appeared to be in intense pain. Subject was terminated then autopsied, revealing that pleasure centers in her brain were severely damaged and testosterone levels were increased. More tests pending.
Input: 20 doses MDMA, 20 does of LSD, and 20 doses "Viagra"
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One hundred (100) 17µg gel capsules, golden and luminescent. One (1) capsule administered to male D-class test subject, with effects identical to "Fine" output appearing after 30 seconds. Subject was very docile and, while coherent, would not answer questions. After 15 minutes, subject entered a catatonic state for a period of 74 hours during which time subject was observed to have seizures resulting in ejaculation. Upon awakening, subject displayed a marked deadening of emotion, showed no interest in pleasurable activities, and was unable to be sexually aroused. When interviewed, subject stated he "just didn't care anymore". Subject terminated and autopsied, show sever damage specific to emotional centers of the brain. More tests pending.
Note: While there may be possible therapeutic benefits to the "Fine" and "Very Fine" outputs, I suggest that more tests be run on subjects of both genders. The output results are to be kept in my office safe unless being tested. -Dr. Palmer
Wait, how does that even work? Viagra is a vascular dilator thingie, not an aphrodisiac.
~Dr. Piffy Trebuchet
This test may indicate that SCP-914 understands the use of input objects and not simply their function. Recommend testing with medicines reliant on the placebo effect to ascertain if outputs provide actual medicinal solutions to problems. -Dr. Pyrrhus
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Input: 1 brown paper bag
Setting: Rough
Output: Small heap of ashes and several scraps of brown paper
Input: 1 brown paper bag
Setting: Coarse
Output: 25 small squares of brown paper.
Input: 1 brown paper bag
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1 white paper bag. Texture describe as more smooth then the original bag.
Input: 1 brown paper bag
Setting: Fine
Output: 1 very small wooden crate. Wood identified as pine.
Input: 1 brown paper bag
Setting: Very Fine
Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]. It appears to be slightly larger inside than outside.
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Name: Dr. P██████ Gibbons
Date: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Total items: 5x regular cubes of Telekill Alloy SCP-148, with a volume of 0.4 cubic meters, making a total of 2 (Two) cubic meters.
Input: 1x cube of Telekill Alloy for each setting.
Setting: Rough
Output: 25x regular cubes of Telekill Alloy, each with a volume of 0.016 cubic meters
Setting: Coarse
Output: 1x cube of unknown dark-blue metal, with a volume of 0.2 cubic meters. The fact that it's two times smaller to the original input cube suggests that the density of the material is two times greater than the Telekill Alloy. With an original melting point of 700ºC, and an evaporation point of 1400ºC, it has been noticed that, if temperature of the metal reaches below 0ºC, the color of the metal changes to a lighter blue and physical properties change. This metal has an unknown melting point, as focused, concentrated heat of over 20000ºC has not melted it. Catalogation for SCP has been raised to 05-7 personnel and denied.
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x cube of unknown light-red metal, with a volume of 1.2 cubic meters. Size is three times that of the original input, suggesting that the input Telekill Alloy is three times more dense than the output. Metal has a melting point of 700ºC and an evaporation point of 1400ºC, matching with the 'Coarse' output, although does not show the same physical properties change when reaching 0ºC, like the previous output. Metal, when touched by a sentient human being, inhibits all senses for a period of 30 (thirty) minutes after the first time is touched (that is, if the object is held for 5 seconds, the period of inhibition will last 30 minutes and 5 seconds). Witnesses have later described it as a "VERY unpleasant experience," and also manifested sensations of "wild hallucinations," similar to a near-overdose of Lysergic Acid. —SCP catalogation has been denied.
The 30 scariest minutes of my fucking life. Note to self: Use the damn gloves. Second note to self: Ask Clef if he wants bracelets of this for his birthday. -Dr. Gibbons
Setting: Fine
Output: Sculpture resembling SCP-682 made out of Telekill Alloy, with a volume 0.4 cubic meters. Output has not shown any kind of sentient manifestations, although any contact or approach near SCP-682 is denied until further notice.
Now, I would like this for my dekstop, if you don't mind. -Dr. Gibbons
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Test 11828-U5: Tests on the nature and construction of SCP-914
With approval from 05 Command, A single gear was removed from one of the "outer" sections of SCP-914. Placement was carefully documented, and was in a location that would not release tension on any belts, or damage any documented sections. Testing area was cleared and sealed after placing a steel block in the "intake" booth. D-00104 was dispatched to SCP-914, and instructed to turn the key and activate SCP-914.
D-00104 reported that "the key won't catch", and it was observed the key turned several times without tightening the mainspring. No activity of any kind was observed from SCP-914 during this time.
Missing gear was replaced with a identical copy, comprised of the same metal (brass) as the original. Steel block re-inserted into the "intake" booth, and SCP-914 was activated on the "1:1" setting. SCP-914 observed to operate normally, with a slight pause of 3.5 seconds after winding the key. After "refining", Output observed to be a solid steel sphere with the same volume as the original steel block. Original gear returned to SCP-914.
Notes: Well, thank god we can at least repair the damn thing if we damage it…assuming we can find what's broken in it. Hell, maybe it's already broken, i don't know…this damn thing hurts my head…
Dr. ██████████
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Name: Prof. Snider, with security personnel #█████ assisting
Date:██/██/████
Total items: 10 (10) Music CDs, "Queen's Greatest Hits Vol. 1"
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: Rough
Output: Pile of plastic pellets of equal mass to the original CD.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: Coarse
Output: Round, blank plastic disc. Surface was completely smooth on both sides and unplayable.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: 1:1
Output: All songs were listed out of their normal order. Cover was from a completely different album.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: 1:1
Output: CD labeled "Queen's Greatest Hits: Vol. 5". Song list was completely different from the original.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: 1:1
Output: Red 510 MB flash drive containing *.mp3 files of all songs listed on original CD.
Input: Two (2) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CDs
Setting: 1:1
Output: Blu-Ray disc containing twice as many songs as original CD, including songs not originally listed.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: Fine
Output: Mp3 player of unknown make and brand containing all songs on original CD, including five not listed. Sound quality is superior to original.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Small plastic statuette of all four Queen members on a miniature stage holding their designated instruments. When given a song request (limited only to Queen songs), statue performs song with concert-quality sound. Currently resides on Prof. Snider's desk.
Input: One (1) "Queen's Greatest Hits" CD
Setting: Very Fine
Output:[DATA EXPUNGED]. Five members were treated for injuries suffered from "furious headbanging".
Notes: I'm just glad I was out of that thing's range.
- Prof. Snider
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Name: Dr. ██████
Date:██/██/████
Total items: Five (5) boxes of brand ████ cigarettes.
Input: One (1) box of brand ████ cigarettes.
Setting: Rough
Output: Small pile of ash. Ash determined to be from both the cigarette box, and the cigarettes themselves.
Input: One (1) box of brand ████ cigarettes.
Setting: Coarse
Output: Tobacco leaf, small wooden chip (presumaby from the paper and filter), different components.
Input: One (1) box of brand ████ cigarettes.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One box of ███████ brand cigarettes, now menthol flavored. ███████ does not come in menthol.
Input: One (1) box of brand ████ cigarettes.
Setting: Fine
Output: One box containing five (5) cigarettes. Agent ██████ remarked to be "the best damn fags" he has ever smoked.
Input: One (1) box of brand ████ cigarettes.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: [DATA EXPUNGED] Agent ██████ remains unconscious. Dr. ██████ under treatment of [DATA EXPUNGED] poisoning.
Note: I suggest no further experimentation with narcotic substances on human subjects until the 'Fine' and 'Very Fine' settings of SCP-914 are better understood.
- Dr. Bar
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Name: Dr. Gears
Date:██/██/████
Total number of objects: Three (3) copies of all documentation, photographs, and test logs accumulated in relation to SCP-914.
Input: One (1) Copy of SCP-914 documentation
Setting: 1:1
Output: Folder containing all previously entered documents, arranged in chronological order.
Input: One (1) Copy of SCP-914 documentation
Setting: Fine
Output: Hard-bound book containing 400 pages. No diagrams, photos, or other visual aids of any kind are included. The pages appear to be solid black, but microscopic examination shows each page to be covered in approximately twenty thousand characters. The text has no correlation with any known writing style, and is not in a linear format, with "sentences" constructed from individual characters spread out between many pages. Each sentence requires a exceedingly complex formula to decode, with each formula unique to each sentence. (Note: Current decoding work has resulted in two partially translated sentences after 225 work-hours. Item appears to be a record of the internal structure of SCP-914)
Input: One (1) Copy of SCP-914 documentation
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Single sheet of paper. Weight is exactly the same as the entered documentation. The sheet appears to be be a single page from the entered SCP-914 documentation, however when flipped over to the right, the reverse side is the following page in sequence. When flipped over to the left, the opposite side is the preceding page in sequence. No new documentation is included, however this item is significantly easier to store, if more time consuming to browse.
(Memo from General ████████: It's screwing with us, you know that right? I don't CARE if it's been proven that it has no self-awareness, this thing is LAUGHING at us!)
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Name: Dr. Grangan
Date:██/██/████
Total number of objects: Five (5) adult male cadavers
Input: One (1) cadaver
Setting: Rough
Output: A pile of human remains. Limbs, organs and bones all appear to have been roughly separated via tearing action and high heat. Output describe as "unsettling".
Input: One (1) cadaver
Setting: Coarse
Output: Pile of human remains. All organs and bones have been removed by some form of cutting tool. The skin, nervous system, digestive system, and circulatory system all appear to have been removed without severing or damaging any of tissues involved. Results frozen for study.
Input: One (1) cadaver
Setting: 1:1
Output: One Asian male cadaver. Original cadaver was identified as Caucasian.
Input: One (1) cadaver
Setting: Fine
Output: One cadaver containing SCP-008. Subject immediately incinerated.
Input: One (1) cadaver
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Green slime. Properties and chemical structure determined to be identical to SCP-447-2.
Note: By order of O5-█ cadavers may no longer be tested in SCP-914 in order to minimize the possibility of SCP-447-2 coming in contact with dead bodies.
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Name: Dr. Gibbons/'NekoChris'
Date:██/██/████
Total number of objects: Five Hundred U.S. Dollars. One hundred U.S Dollars will be used for each setting.
Input: One hundred U.S. Dollars
Setting: Rough
Output: Small pile of ash and torn paper.
Input: One hundred U.S. Dollars
Setting: Coarse
Output: A puddle of ink and a small pile of cotton and plastic weighing roughly as much as the original currency.
Input: One hundred U.S. Dollars
Setting: 1:1
Output: Seventy five Euros.
Input: One hundred U.S. Dollars
Setting: Fine
Output: A shareholder's note for "Soap from Corpses Products", worth one hundred U.S. Dollars. Whether 914 selected a foundation's front out of pure whimsy or is somehow based on a criteria, is unknown.
Update: As in ██/██/████, Soap for Corpses Products' shares skyrocketed, and the aforementioned 'Fine' output is now worth $████ (USD). It is under investigation if 914 'selected' Soap from Corpses Products because it 'knew' was going to rally, or if it was a matter of pure luck.
Input: One hundred U.S. Dollars
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A diamond. It appears that it was formed from the money's Carbon atoms. Worth of the diamond is $██████,██ as in ██/██/████.
Note: Although no abnormal characteristics are found in the output, it will be kept in O5-█'s office until further notice.
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Name: Agent T███, overseen by Dr. ██████
Date: ██/███/20██
Total numbers of objects: 3
Input: 1 gram 232Th, on a leaded glass stand in a sealed leaded glass cube 10cm x 10cm x 10cm, filled with deuterium oxide.
Setting: 1:1
Output: A leaded glass sculpture of an Oriental dragon, with a hollow interior holding a thread of thorium along its center length and filled with deuterium oxide. Dr. █████ claimed it for an office decoration.
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Name: Dr.Malfoss, no observation or assistance
Date: ██/███/20██
Total numbers of objects: 1
Input: 1 bic lighter, red with the flame shielding peeled off, belongs to Dr. Malfoss.
Setting: Fine
Output: A black Zippo-style lighter with the word "GodSpeed" inscribed on the left side. When used to light a cigarette, the flame was 5.8m (19ft) high and burned a hole in the ceiling Attempts to refuel it showed that the fuel reservoir was filled with cherry flavored Jell-o gelatin. Further testing as to the application of the cherry Jell-O as a fuel is pending approval.
Note: Evidently my 5 year-old daughter left me a present consisting of cherry jell-o in my lab coat pocket, best not to ask why but this could explain, through particle transfer, how it uses it as a fuel source, further testing in to 914's ability to change the fuel requirements of various fuel-consuming objects seems to be a logical step forward also it seems that 914 is much more precise in ingredients used during refining, perhaps even on the microscopic level?.-Dr.Malfoss
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Name: Dr. █████.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 5x Bronze replicas of the Pioneer 10 and 11 plaques.
Input: 1 plaque on each setting
Setting: Rough
Output: Multiple bronze cubes, and two bronze spheres.
Setting: Coarse
Output: 105 grams of copper ore and 15 grams of tin ore.
Setting: 1:1
Output: Several CDs. Tests reveal them to contain the same data as the Voyager Golden Record.
Setting: Fine
Output: A bronze gyroscope, 15 cm tall. A needle in the center continuously points in one direction; testing has confirmed that no matter the position of the gyroscope, this needle points towards Overwatch HQ.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A cellular phone. Contains a "Contact List" of over 500 names and telephone numbers, none of which correspond to any telephone currently in use anywhere on Earth. The first one on the list is labeled "SCP-682 - Home Number".
Note: I suggest destroying the "Very Fine" output. I mean, it has SCP-682's "home" on the frickin' speed dial, that's reason enough for me not to screw with it.
Note: Testing has shown that the number listed under SCP-682's home is for a cellphone located in SCP-682's containment chamber. Investigation is ongoing as to how the telephone got into the chamber
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Name: Dr. Stevenson
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: Seven (7) packs Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum, each containing fifteen (15) sticks
Input: 1x pack Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum
Setting: Rough
Output: Empty, opened packaging and fifteen (15) sticks of chewed gum, confirmed to be identical to input brand and flavor. No saliva detected on gum.
Input: 1x pack Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum
Setting: Coarse
Output: Packaging containing the separated ingredients of its original contents.
Input: 2x pack Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x pack Wrigley's Doublemint chewing gum, containing fifteen (15) sticks.
Input: 1x pack Wrigley's Doublemint chewing gum, 3x Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x pack Wrigley's "5" chewing gum, in "rain" (spearmint) flavor. Contains fifteen (15) sticks.
Note: Well, it appears SCP-914 can do basic arithmetic. But so can my computer, so that doesn't tell us much. -Dr. Stevenson
Input: 1x pack Wrigley's "5" chewing gum
Setting: fine
Output: 5x stick unknown spearmint-flavored chewing gum. Flavor determined to be spearmint, but does not appear diminish over time, as with most gums. Dr. Stevenson currently has one stick in his possession and one other has been used in further testing. The remaining three are kept in Dr. Stevenson's office and are up for grabs.
Input: 1x stick from previous output
Setting: Very fine
Output: 1x piece new variety of spearmint-flavored bubble gum. Bubbles blown appear to have no limit in size except that of the room. Cleaning staff found that the gum, even after bursting due to contact with walls and ceiling, can be easily recombined into the original piece and does not collect any debris.
Note: It's certainly spectacular, but does this new variety of extremely-large-bubble gum have any practical application? - Dr. Stevenson
Addendum: From now on, no items obtained from SCP-914 are to be tested in research cell 109-B. Results could damage the SCP or result in a terrible mess. Do it outside or something. -O5-6
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Name: Dr. ███████
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 7 lbs. raw ground beef
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: Rough
Output: 1 lb. beef slurry.
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: Coarse
Output: 1 lb. raw chuck steak.
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: 1:1
Output:4 quarter-pound raw beef patties.
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: Fine
Output: 1 lb. Medium-cooked round steak.
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: Fine
Output: 1 lb. pile of beef jerky.
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 2 half-pound flank steaks, well-done and lightly drizzled in gravy.
Input: 1 lb. raw ground beef
Setting: Very Fine
Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Appeared to be [DATA EXPUNGED] ██████████ started mooing ██████████ bitten subject [DATA EXPUNGED] ██████████ escaped into ██████████ screaming ██████████ [DATA EXPUNGED] hungry for [DATA EXPUNGED]. Subject immediately terminated.
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Name: Dr. █████.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 5x IRS Form 1040 (blank)
Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank)
Setting: Rough
Output: several hundred thin paper strips.
Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank)
Setting: Coarse
Output: 1 block of wood, wet with strong-smelling liquid. Tests indicated the liquid to be composed of a variety of chemicals used in the paper-making process.
Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank)
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x IRS Form 4868 (blank)
Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank)
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x IRS Form 1040, with all blank space including margins and backs of pages filled with imprecations against the IRS and taxation in general in the following languages [in order of quantity of text, from greatest to least]: Basque, Quenya [see below], Sumerian, Cherokee, an unidentifiable language with a writing system composed of curved symbols, Classical Chinese, English (from the curses used, apparently c. 1650-1750). After long study of the unidentifiable symbols Dr. █████ could identify no commonality with any of the other languages present on the form. The Sumerian contained three words unattested from any known text. The Quenya had its cursing of the IRS interspersed with vituperation of someone or something called "Morgoth".
Input: 1x IRS Form 1040 (blank)
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x IRS Form "MXL", filled out for the year 35 and with the name given as "GAIVS IVLIVS CAESAR AVGVSTVS GERMANICVS" and all monetary amounts given in Roman numerals with the word "DENARII" entered afterwards. Dr. [NAME EXPUNGED], known for his amateur interest in Roman history, absconded with the form, muttering something about anachronisms.
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Name: Dr. ███████.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 5x 250 mL cans of Red Bull brand energy drink. (Unopened)
Input: 1x 250 mL can of Red Bull.
Setting: Rough
Output: Several small piles of various substances, including powdered aluminum, dyes, sucrose, pure caffeine, and a small puddle of carbonated water.
Input: 1x 250 mL can of Red Bull.
Setting: Coarse
Output: Approx. 2 cups of generic instant coffee, black.
Input: 1x 250 mL can of Red Bull.
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x 250 mL can "Monster" brand energy drink.
Input: 1x 250 mL can of Red Bull.
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x can 250 mL Red Bull Ultra. Brand is not currently produced by the company that makes Red Bull. Expiration date is marked as ██/█/████, far in the future from the writing of this report. Ingredient label contains several substances not known to modern science. Upon consumption of the beverage, D class personnel was observed to function normally for 72 hours without sleep. No signs typical of excess stimulant consumption such as trembling, irritability, or difficulty concentrating were observed. After 72 hours, subject slept for a standard eight hours and remarked that they felt "just fine" on waking. It is not known if the given expiration date means that the drink had an exceptionally long shelf life, or that it was somehow procured from a future era.
Input: 1x 250 mL can of Red Bull.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x 30 mL unmarked bottle containing unidentifiable liquid. Upon consumption, Class D personnel disappeared. Approx. two seconds later, facility wide containment breach was reported. Security on duty reported seeing "some kind of gray blur". Security sweep of the surrounding area turned up the Class D subject approx. 26 km from the facility. Subject was apprehended and when questioned remarked they had just had "the most incredible rush" and that everything now appeared to be moving "too fast". Subject terminated. Giving Class D subjects materials that could result in their escape is not recommended.
Note: Isn't the 1:1 setting supposed to produce something of relatively equal qualities? That Monster stuff sucks. -Dr. ███████
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Name: Dr. Walter Crowne
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: 12x 700MB CD-R discs
Input: 1x 700MB CD-R disc
Setting: Rough
Output: 16 grams of melted plastic and trace amounts of assorted chemicals.
Input: 1x 700MB CD-R disc
Setting: Coarse
Output: One clear plastic disk, and a small compressed cube of various chemicals.
Input: 1x 700MB CD-R disc
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1 700MB CD-R disc from a different manufacturer.
Input: 7x 700MB CD-R discs
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1 4.7GB DVD-R and 2 100MB Iomega Zip Disks.
Input: 1x 700MB CD-R disc
Setting: Fine
Output: 1 recordable Blu-Ray disc.
Input: 1x 700MB CD-R disc
Setting: Very Fine
Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]. The label indicates it was manufactured by [DATA EXPUNGED], the same company that produced the CD-R discs used in this test, but neither the product nor the technology used to create it currently exist. Analysis suggests a storage medium based on quantum entanglement; attempts to engineer a drive that can actually read from and write to the disc have thus far met with failure.
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Name: Agent C. Locke
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 1x speaker/battery/chip from a birthday card, 1x wind up music box, 1x pair of men's size 10 steel toed workboots, ██████ brand.
Input: 1x Birthday card speaker, minus the card
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Mechanical birthday card speaker, operates the same with much higher sound quality, as if from live singers.
Input: 1x Music box.
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Music Box, plays for one hour fully wound, with an on/off switch. Rotational metal drum replaced with fine assembly of interlocking steel rods which realign after striking the comb. Comb was previously steel with twenty four teeth, now a tempered crystallized steel with two hundred and fifty six teeth. Sounds like bells. The tune played does not seem to repeat itself, and deviated from immediately recognizable original tune within three minutes of first test.
Input: 1x Pair of steel toe work boots, black, size 10.
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Pair of similar work boots, black, same size. Entire boot waterproof and corrosion resistant, leather much firmer, laces replaced with flexible cloth webbing that contracts when tugged upwards. Interior of the boot lined with drying fiber cover over adaptive padding. Sole of boot remains rubber, now much firmer, apparently shot through with capillaries. Grips solidly, capillaries wick water and other liquids out to the sides. Does not squeak or scuff. Layer between leather and padding replaced with overlapping plates of steel, covering most angles without inhibiting flexibility.
Agent Locke: Man, I wish I was keeping these…
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Name: Dr. Lambert
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: Five (5) Hot Wheels Ferrari toy cars.
Input: One (1) toy Ferrari will be input for each test.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) Hot Wheels Mustang.
Setting: Fine
Output: One (1) toy Ferrari of the same size and color, but with all moving parts and greatly-increased detail inside, outside, and under the hood. Comparison to full-size Ferrari of the same model showed that the output was a perfect scale-copy of the original.
Setting: Fine
Output: One (1) DVD. On the DVD are complete schematics of the model of Ferrari that was input. Contents of the DVD are in Italian and Japanese.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One (1) toy Ferrari of the same basic model, but with more moving parts, much more detail, and a small button on the roof. When a subject presses the button, that subject is suddenly shrunk down and placed in the driver's seat of the toy car. The subject is able to drive the car around like a standard car, reaching relative speeds in excess of 250 km/h. Stepping out of the car returns the subject to normal size, but subjects are affected by vertigo, general numbness, tinnitus, and occasionally [DATA EXPUNGED]. Symptoms disappear after a few days' bed rest.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One (1) futuristic-looking toy car. When the Output door was opened, the toy car flew out under its own power and flew around the room at a very high speed. Personnel on hand attempted to catch the car, but [DATA EXPUNGED]. Five (5) security personnel treated for second- and third-degree burns and [DATA EXPUNGED]. The car is being held in a secure cell for further research.
Note: After examination, the outputs from the 1:1 and Fine settings were released to Dr. Lambert. The outputs from Very Fine are securely contained for further research.
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Name: Dr. Clopine
Date: 8/15/09
Total Items: Five (5) 11 X 8.5" copies of the Mona Lisa printed from an HP Photosmart 3310 All-In-One onto photo paper
Setting: Rough
Output: One pile of shredded photo paper, several pools of ink
Setting: Coarse
Output: One 8.5 x 11" sheet of plastic, one 8.5 X 11" sheet of paper, several pools of ink
Setting: 1:1
Output: One 8.5 x 11" copy of Vitruvian Man
Setting: Fine
Output: One 8.5 X 11" copy of Mona Lisa, painted onto canvas. Testing revealed paint to be oil paint of modern origins
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One 7 x 10" copy of the Mona Lisa painted onto wood panel, identified to be poplar. Paint samples tested to be oil paints made from beeswax, calcined bones, piled glass, and mineral pigments, with indications that pigments were hand ground. Further testing suggests painting dates to early 16th century. Output now resides on wall in Dr. Clopine's office.
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Name: Dr. T. Griffe
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: Five (5) sheets of blank notebook paper, college-ruled.
Setting: Rough
Output: Small pile of shredded paper.
Setting: Coarse
Output: Small pile of sawdust.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) sheet of blank notebook paper, wide-ruled.
Setting: Fine
Output: Sheet of unlined paper, brighter in color than the original. Paper resists tearing and creasing and can be erased repeatedly, leaving no stray marks and no evidence of shredding or deterioration.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Small origami horse. Examination under magnification reveals a high level of detail, including realistic facial features. Blue lines still visible on paper's surface. Attempts to unfold the object have been unsuccessful.
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Name: Professor "Q"
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: Five (5) boxes of standard friction matches. One (1) lit friction match
Inmput: One (1) box of friction matches, unlit
Setting: Rough
Output: Burst of flame consumed output materials.
Notes: All further tests involving flammable materials are to be conducted using flame-retardant clothing and at least 2 class A/B/C fire extinguishers.
Input: One (1) box of friction matches, unlit
Setting: Coarse
Output: small pile of pine tinder and small pile of Potassium Chlorate, sulfur, starch, Calcium Carbonate, silicon fiber, diatomite, and glue.
Input: One (1) box of friction matches, unlit
Setting: 1:1
Output: charcoal briquette, same mass as input
Input: One (1) box friction matches, unlit
Setting: Fine
Ouput: One (1) box of sealed glass cylinders, each containing slip of phosphorus-impregnated paper
Professor "Q": I have a box of these somewhere; Victorian-era, I think. Hard to make; they never really caught on.
Input: One (1) box of friction matches, unlit
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One (1) wood-corked glass vial containing a cloudy orange liquid. Liquid ignites on contact with flammable objects. Analysis pending.
Input: One (1) friction match, lit
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One (1) ~1inch sphere of orange material, on fire. Fire burns, regardless of fuel or air. SCP status and further analysis pending.
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Name: Professor "Q"
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: One (1) chessboard, initial setup
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) chessboard, white king's pawn moved up 2 spaces.
Input: board as above, with black pawn moved to legal position
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) chessboard, as above with white queen moved diagonally to legal position.
Professor "Q": Yes, I've been playing chess with 914. …Yes, I'm aware it's supposed to be non-sentient, but that hardly explains why it's winning.
Dr. Pyrrhus: At least it didn't beat you at the unwinnable game of tic-tac-toe! I swear the damned thing cheated. Hmph.
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Name: Dr. J█████ N██████
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: Five (5) tuna sandwiches, on white bread.
Input: One (1) tuna sandwich.
Setting: Rough
Output: A pile of wheat, a small pile of yeast, a puddle of water and one (1) segment of twitching, bloody flesh (later identified as tuna musculature).
Input: One (1) tuna sandwich.
Setting: Coarse
Output: A small loaf of bread, and chunks of cooked tuna.
Input: One (1) tuna sandwich.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) salmon sandwich, on rye bread.
Input: One (1) tuna sandwich.
Setting: Fine
Output: One (1) tuna sandwich. Tuna was later revealed to be of the highest quality, with light, soft bread. Testing on D-class personnel resulted in dramatically increased cognitive capacity; further chemical analysis revealed it to contain unusually high levels of Omega-3 and Omega-7 fatty acids.
Input: One (1) tuna sandwich.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A loaf of bread baked into a very realistic shape of a tuna. When the door was opened, it immediately began "swimming" around the room and out the door. It has not been seen since; however. SCP-███ has been looking noticeably fatter lately.
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Name: Dr. Aeolus
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: 9x Victorinox Sentinel Clip Knife, including single blade, tweezers and toothpick
Input: 1x Victorinox Sentinel Clip Knife
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Victorinox Class SD Knife, including previous components as well as scissors and nail file
Input: 1x Victorinox Sentinel Clip Knife, Previous Output
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Victorinox SwissFlash 16GB Laser Pointer, which included an empty 16GB flash drive and red laser pointer in addition to previous components. Small pile of metal and plastic dross, presumably parts of the knife that weren't used.
Input: 1x Victorinox Sentinel Clip Knife, Previous Output
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Victorinox knife of unknown model, includes previous components and corkscrew, bottle opener, saw, and additional blade. Tweezers and toothpick are of improved quality. Slightly larger pile of dross.
Input: 5x Victorinox Sentinel Clip Knife, Previous Output
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Victorinox Swisschamp XAVT with… well, 80 different tools on it. Matches retail product precisely. After analysis, output allegedly vanished into the pocket of Dr. Aeolus.
Input: 1x Victorinox Sentinel Clip Knife
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A switchblade of unknown metal whose 4" blade seems to vibrate slightly when cutting, despite the lack of any sort of engine to facilitate this. Shown capable of cutting through wood, flesh, bones, and most high-strength metals with little to no resistance and has not yet shown signs of dulling. Victorinox logo on the side. Passed through a knife-proof vest with no difficulty. Output was lost temporarily during lab cleanup, later recovered from Dr. Aeolus's office, added to their slightly excessive knife collection. Dr. Aeolus has been reprimanded, and the blade contained securely for further testing.
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Name: Researcher Voct
Date: ██/██/20██
Total Items: 2x CD-ROM, containing 750 MB of unidentified starfield images taken from long-term ocular study of SCP-134.
Input: 1x CD-ROM
Setting: 1:1
Output: One CD-ROM, containing 750 MB of unidentified starfield images. Analysis shows 90% dissimilarity between contents of processed CD-ROM and contents of original.
Input: One CD-ROM.
Setting: Very fine.
Output: One CD-ROM, containing [DATA EXPUNGED].
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Name: Junior Researcher Dr. Zara, Prof. █ supervising
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: Five complete Staunton chess sets, boxwood & honey rosewood, 30cm x 30cm x 9cm at highest piece, 1.4kg. Pieces positioned in standard Chess initial setup.
Input: 1x Chess set
Setting: Rough
Output: 1.4kg pile of mixed boxwood & rosewood wooden chips, ranging from 3 mm³ to 2 cm³ in dimensions. 1x intact boxwood pawn, buried in the pile.
Input: 1x Chess set
Setting: Coarse
Output: 1x boxwood pyramid, 700g in weight. 1x honey rosewood pyramid, 700g in weight.
Input: 1x Chess set
Setting: 1:1
Output: Identical Chess set, pieces arranged on it in late endgame (Diagram annexed). Captured pieces are neatly arranged beside the board in two rows. Black is two moves from checkmate.
Check progress of Prof. Q's game and whether it relates to this.
Input: 1x Chess set
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x 6x6 grid set in two colors of green with same size as original board, 22x boxwood & honeywood figurines of mythological figures, 11 to a side. No further information supplied.
Input: 1x Chess set
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x cube of aerogel-like substance: can be reached into or cut through but regains coherence after tool is removed. 256 dots of black and bright white (half each) are visible in the substance: These appear to be pigmented on the medium rather than discrete items, but can be moved around the cube when pushed with a tool. Surrounding one dot with four or more dots of the other color makes it vanish. Further research pending.
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Name: Dr. J█████ N██████
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: Five (5) DVD players of model █████.
Input: One (1) DVD player.
Setting: Rough
Output: A cube of metal, a cube of plastic and smaller cubes consisting of the other materials used in the DVD player.
Input: One (1) DVD player.
Setting: Coarse
Output: The same DVD player, disassembled. DVD player worked perfectly well upon reassembly.
Input: One (1) DVD player.
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) DVD player of a different brand.
Input: One (1) DVD player.
Setting: Fine
Output: One (1) combined HDDVD/Blu-Ray Disc player.
Input: One (1) DVD player.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A small box with jacks for connection to a television and AC input. Any audiovisual media placed inside the box when connected to a TV will play perfectly in high definition, despite format, region control or degradation of original media. Box responds to voice commands such as "play", "rewind" and "fast forward". Box has been deemed safe to use, and has since been placed in the break room at Site-██ for recreational use.
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Name:Dr. Sierra
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: x5 Schmidt und Bender Police Marksman II 1.1-4x24mm Short Dot riflescopes
Input 1x PMII scope
Setting: Rough
Output: 1x laser-cut cube of anodized aluminum; 1x sphere of laser-etched glass.
Input 1x PMII scope
Setting: Coarse
Output: 1x set backup iron sights fitting M1913 Picatinny rail systems. Sights constructed of anodized aluminum with glass aperture providing a projected red dot along with a negligible amount of magnification. Item has been successfully acquired by MTF Omicron-9 for the duration of the Task Force's operations.
Input 1x PMII scope
Setting: 1:1
Output: 1x Nightforce 1-4x24mm NXS riflescope. Added to Site 19 Armory.
Input 1x PMII scope
Setting: Fine
Output: 1x Leupold Mark IV 3.5-10x40mm riflescope fitted with Barrett BORS computer aided ballistic ranging system and a secondary Aimpoint Micro T-1 red dot optic. Added to Site 19 Armory.
Input 1x PMII scope
Setting: Very Fine
Output: 1x riflescope of unknown make. Testing revealed that the optic varied zoom and reticle based on distance to closest target. Accuracy testing revealed that the optic compensated for all atmospheric conditions between shooter and target. Zoom variation was observed from 1x to 200x with integrated image stabilization. Reticles varied from a visible aiming laser at 2 meters with no zoom to illuminated crosshairs with integrated rangefinder and stabilization at 2,500 meters with maximum zoom. SCP Classification requested but denied due to lack of containment requirements. Item is catalogued as a weapon modification and currently resides in Site 19 armory for use by any Foundation forces that requisition it.
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Name: Agent Talmor
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: 60kg, 660g copper; 36kg 580g zinc; 1kg 20g tin; 1kg 740g iron
This is the first recursive test of SCP-914. The results have been interesting.
Input: 60kg, 660g copper; 36kg 580g zinc; 1kg 20g tin; 1kg 740g iron
Setting: Fine
Output: 100kg Aich's alloy brass
Input: 100kg Aich's alloy brass from above test
Setting: Fine
Output: Various cubes, spheres, cones, and other simple shapes of Aich's alloy brass. Total mass: 100kg. Full catalogue annexed.
Input: Above shapes
Setting: Fine
Output: Rods, chains, gears, plates, springs, screws, and other mechanical parts, many very fine, all apparently made of Aich's alloy brass. Total mass: 100kg. Full catalogue annexed.
Input: Above parts
Setting: Fine
Output: Multiple complex assemblies. Total mass: 100kg
Input: Above assemblies
Setting: Fine
Output: A 1m clockwork robot, resembling Agent Talmor, and a large winding key. Stood, walked, and appeared to look around for fifteen seconds when wound one "click." No clothing was modelled. The robot has been classified as SCP-███
Agent Talmor: It's definite. This thing has a sense of humour.
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Name:Dr. Birras
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items:Five (5) dry magnetic pocket compasses
Input: One (1) dry magnetic pocket compass
Setting: Rough
Output: A mangled aluminum ring, glass dust, and a scrap of magnetized iron
Input: One (1) dry magnetic pocket compass
Setting: Coarse
Output: 150 gram cube of aluminum, 100 gram cube of glass, 20 gram cube of magnetized iron
Input: One (1) dry magnetic pocket compass
Setting: 1:1
Output: One surveyor's compass
Input: One (1) dry magnetic pocket compass
Setting: Fine
Output: One pocket compass of similar appearance. Testing showed that the compass points magnetic north even in the presence of powerful magnetic fields.
Input: One (1) dry magnetic pocket compass
Setting: Very Fine
Output: A small black sphere with a bright red arrow always pointing in one direction. Stellar cartography reveals that the arrow points to the center of the Milky Way galaxy.
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Name: Mr J Mellows, Drs ████, ████, ██████ and █████.
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: Five (5) ██████ black brand pocket scientific calculators.
Agent Talmor's test dated ██/█/20██ indicates that 914 may be aware of its user to a certain degree. Each will be treated on the 1:1 setting by a different staff member to determine if any pattern emerges.
Input: ██████ brand pocket calculator.
Staff member: Dr ████, male, 32,
Setting: 1:1
Output: Identical model but in pink as opposed to black.
Staff response: Dr ████ stated he had no reason to prefer the output to the input.
Input: ██████ brand pocket calculator.
Staff member: Dr ████, male, 27,
Setting: 1:1
Output: ███ brand pocket calculator, stainless steel.
Staff response: Dr ████ stated output appeared "sleeker" and "cooler".
Input: ██████ brand pocket calculator.
Staff member: Dr ████, female, 43,
Setting: 1:1
Output: ██████ brand calculator watch. Output has same total processing power but reduced functionality to accommodate timekeeping and alarm functions.
Staff response: Dr ██████ stated she had no reason to prefer the output to the input. Dr ██████ has two (2) censures on her record for tardiness.
Input: ██████ brand pocket calculator.
Staff member: Dr ████, male, 34,
Setting: 1:1
Output: ████ brand pocket calculator.
Staff response: Dr ████ stated he had no reason to prefer the output to the input.
Input: ██████ brand pocket calculator.
Staff member: Mr J Mellows, male, 28.
Setting: 1:1
Output: Unbranded slide rule with identical functionality to input.
Staff response: Requested to keep output for personal collection of slide rules.
Results seem inconclusive the output of 914 has been largely useful to date which makes this harder to judge. More study is needed.- J Mellows.
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Name: Agent "Mister" Bibs
Date: ██/█/20██
Total items: Five (5) samples of 1kg of unworked emerald crystal
Input: 1kg of unworked emerald crystal
Setting: Rough
Output: Sample of emerald shows signs of extreme shear stress.
Input: 1kg of unworked emerald crystal
Setting: Coarse
Output: Sample of emerald shows a 50% increase in surface fractures.
Input: 1kg of unworked emerald crystal
Setting: 1:1
Output: Emerald has been polished and cut into the classic 'emerald cut'.
Input: 1kg of unworked emerald crystal
Setting: Fine
Output: Emerald has been polished and cut into a perfect sphere.
Input: 1kg of unworked emerald crystal
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Emerald has been polished and cut into a unique spire-like cut. Emerald glows faintly, and a crystalline sound can be heard.
Note: Upon seeing this result, Agent Bibs immediately shrieked and ran from the room, returning with standard full-body protection gear. Shouting profanities, Bibs deposits the object and the protection gear into the closest incinerator. When questioned, Bibs simply responded "Bad. Bad-bad-bad." and "SCP-███ on steroids. Angry, angry steroids."
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Name: Agent Roadrunner
Date: ██/██/20██
Total items: Five (5) copies of Windows 7 Professional 64-bit
Input: 1 disc containing a copy of W7P x64
Setting: Rough
Output: A small amount of shredded plastic.
Input: 1 disc containing a copy of W7P x64
Setting: Coarse
Output: One (1) USB drive, exactly large enough to hold the aforementioned software, and a lump of plastic.
Input: 1 disc containing a copy of W7P x64
Setting: 1:1
Output: One (1) copy of Windows XP Professional 64-bit
Input: 1 disc containing a copy of W7P x64
Setting: Fine
Output: One (1) DVD copy of Windows ██████ Professional 256-bit
I'm keeping this. -Roadrunner
Input: 1 disc containing a copy of W7P x64
Setting: Very Fine
Output: One (1) ████-format copy of Windows █████████ Immaculate ████-bit
…a minimum of ███TB RAM to run this thing? A ██ Petahertz CPU required to install it? It takes up 50TB of HDD space? Woah. I don't think that we have anything that can quite run this… yet. -Roadrunner
Hmm, let me test a follow-up on that one. Even though this thing is a s
[QUOTE=Propheta;21994261]Ah I remember V1 of this :D[/QUOTE]
October 2009
649 Posts
[QUOTE=The Big Bomb;22001026]October 2009
649 Posts[/QUOTE]
Maybe he's an alt?
[QUOTE=eatdembeanz;22000949]To elaborate, SCP-914 is a large machine, with 5 settings: Course, Rough, 1:1, Fine, and Very Fine. Place one object in one chamber of SCP-914, choose a setting, and pick up whatever comes out of it. Coarse and Rough reduce the item to its raw materials, with Coarse being the most raw. 1:1 effectively changes the object's skin (For example, I Wanna Be The Guy becomes Kaizo Mario World). Fine upgrades the object to something fairly complex and useful. Very Fine upgrades it heavily. very very heavily.[/QUOTE]
Did you read the thread title? SCP-914 is neither a picture, nor does it make me LMAO.
[IMG]http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/3299/1273994247086.jpg[/IMG]
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