Hey guys, guy threatened to "beat me up." You decide his fate - General

Okay. My plan is a little perfidious. You start to talk calmly to him; that you both should talk this through, maye offer to buy him a drink so that you could talk while having a drink together. Just pretend you're a real fucking softy and calm him down a little. Express your gratitude that he accepted to deal like a gentleman with the situation. The when all is talked through, grab him by the shoulder and look deep into his eyes. Say calmly and friendly: "I'm glad we could talk over this and solve this problem as real adult beings." Keep looking into his eye, and keep holding his shoulder. When he gets a little nervous, hold his shoulder tighter. As he starts to get freaked out, because you're still looking deeply into his eyes, you clutch his shoulder real hard and whisper: "Real... glad..." Then you proceed to grab a razor blade from your pocket, while still clutching his shoulder, so he can't escape. Then with the razor blade in your hand you make small cut under his chin. Like only pierce through his skin and maybe a little fat, not making contact between the blade and his chin bone. He of course totally doesn't count with that. When the cut has been made, you throw away the razor blade. This has to be done in quick succesion or he has a chance to flee. With your not clutching hand free from the blade, you take your index and your middle finger and push them into the cut. With both fingers in the cut, you grab the flap that you just created and yank forcefully in the direction of his forehead, i.e. uppwards. If there is too much resistance for you, or you don't feel confident yanking upwards so hard, you could also kick him in his testicles, so he bends forward, brace one or both feet against his shoulders - depends on how far you're willing to go - and yank in your direction. If you did everything right you just successfully ripped off tubbo's face either completely or loosened it majorly. He of course will not count with that. Or you could always burn his family and sleep naked in the ashes.

Step 1. Tie him to a chair tightly, so he cannot escape or move at all, or clench onto anything. Step 2. Get a towel about as long as your arm's length. Damp the towel in warm water. Step 3. Take a pen apart, leaving a small plastic tube. Jab the tube very firmly into his throat from his neck, so he can breath without using his mouth. Step 4. Shove the warm towel down his throat into his stomach using your bare hands. Step 5. Wait as his body begins to digest the towel, the towel will seep into his intestines. As soon as you think the towel is a quarter digested, proceed to step 6. Step 6. Pull the towel out of his throat, along with all the attached organs and intestines due to the towel being digested. Step 7. Watch him in the worst pain possible, and then proceed to step 8. Step 8. Smile like Jack Bauer.

beat his meat

Rip his arms off

Kidnap him, make him watch as you kill all his family and friends (if he has friends) and burn down his house, and then let him starve by hanging up upside down from a ceiling fan on the fastest mode.

Tie him to a chair, let him watch as you eat delicious food. He'll be tortured in no time and will cry like a bitch.

lick him in the ear holes

be friends

Find out where he lives. At night, you bring a boomblaster to his window while dressed up as some black-metal dude/satan. Play this song and just stare at him through the window. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXFjZvWgaeI[/media] Dont forget to set up a camara

If he hits you say "STOP! STOP! YOU'RE GETTING ME HARD!"

Cast down his fridge and bask in the dying agony of all who hold it dear.

Be a clown and put banana's near the airlock and let him slip so he floats in eternal space. Honk on, motherfuckers

Go behind him and pull your arms over his throat and force him to lie down on the back with you and quickly roll him over to his stummick, and take your knee on his upper part of the back and take his arm to break some few fingers (or the arm)

Pull your cock out and when he asks what you're doing, just ask "I thought you wanted to rock my boat?"

Get some of those McDonald's coupons and try to make a trap with the coupon being the bait.

Poison his food.

Kick his ass in double time, and then when hes unconscious on the ground, do a present arms on his chest. But don't start fighting untill he swings first. So you can get rid of all blame.

You should be the bigger man. So start eating.

Follow him around all day. That usually gets rid of them freshmen.

How about you guys talk and settle your differences without fighting. Then shake hands and become friends :-)

Call Dwayne The Rock Johnson and have him go to school with you tomorrow, and when the kid comes to you just say "Sorry, my boat's already been rocked". Then put on some sunglasses, hop on your majestic stallion and ride into the sunset while credits roll.

Tap into your autismal strength and suplex slam him through time and space

Take one of the drill rifles and smack him with the stock. I hit myself in the face once with one. Never again.

let him take the first swing when he does, promptly take a step back, drop your pants, and drop a nice deuce on the street for all to see. guarantee he will never mess with you again.

[QUOTE=some_hobo;39749945]Hold him down and tickle his ballsack, it'll tap into his primal psyche and make him think you're his mother[/QUOTE] Holy shit I can't breathe.

better call saul.

Give him the dick.

Strip him and tie him to a light pole.

Give him a really intimate deep throat. He'll bully you no longer. You may need to practice on a banana or something

Don't show up for shits and giggles