Your partner is transgender, and goes through a sex change... What would you do? - General

I'm pansexual, sex and gender mean literally nothing to me so i'd stay with them because i love them for who they are.

[QUOTE=FreakyMe;35069750]Since sexual attraction is definitely the foundation of every long-lasting relationship. I think it's a fairly ridiculous statement to make. If she were suddenly made a burn victim or horribly disfigured, would you leave her because you don't find burn victims or ugly damaged people physically attractive? I would hope not, because there's still the same very hurt and confused person inside [whom you have grown to identify with as your partner], who is trying to reach out and find someone to embrace them in their adversity. You've been together a long time [hence the word partner, not girlfriend] and your relationship has probably a lot more basis to it than physical attraction. I'd understand if the physical intimacy broke off, and then eventually it was ended because the relationship wasn't working, but I can't believe how many people would outright say either "get out" or "you can't be that way" to someone who truly believes that is the physical identity that they need to have to be complete. At least give the relationship a chance to fail on it's own, rather than instantly divorcing it because you found out something new about them.[/QUOTE] As awful as it sounds I would have to leave them, whereas with a burn victim I probably would not. All these things are just things that all men can hope and pray will never happen (and thankfully most likely will not) in the course of a relationship.

This sounds kind of silly to be honest. If I woke up one day and my girlfriend suddenly told me she was going to get a sex change, then I would break up with her. Not because she would be a guy, but because she never told me that she was transgender. That's not something you should keep hidden about yourself, especially to someone you're dating or are thinking about dating.

[QUOTE=LegndNikko;35071099]The depression and insecurity of it can cause a great deal to their mental functionality, making them question if they can trust you with something they may deem so horrible.[/QUOTE] What's the point of a relationship where they don't trust you. Especially with things that huge?

This thread reassures me that Facepunch is full of twelve year old misogynists who can't get a females love, so they regard women in contempt. [QUOTE=MisterSjeiks;35068794]-retarded video i didn't even fucking watch- And, ofcourse, reach back like a pimp and slap the hoe.[/QUOTE] You do realize this is Mass Debate section? That isn't how you post here.

[QUOTE=gufu;35073304]What's the point of a relationship where they don't trust you. Especially with things that huge?[/QUOTE] Perhaps they aren't secure enough that they feel safe telling you and knowing you won't react with a divorce or breakup.

Well if people really are going to dump their hypothetical partners for that reason, at least be courteous about it? Just because they're a different gender then to what you expect of them doesn't mean they don't deserve respect. Then again, it is FP. What would I do? I would stick by them, no matter what. Let time tell and see how we both adjust to the change. People are too quick to jump ship.

Wow, you can smell the transphobia coming from these threads a mile away. Would half of your seriously DIVORCE someone over this? I'm fairly certain that this isn't something that pops up over night, the process takes YEARS to do and yet you act like they would just show up one day changed. If you loved someone and committed yourself to them with marriage, and they committing themselves as well, don't you think they'd have to have a pretty good reason to keep it from you?

[QUOTE=gufu;35073304]What's the point of a relationship where they don't trust you. Especially with things that huge?[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=LegndNikko;35071099]The depression and insecurity of it can cause a great deal to their mental functionality, making them question if they can trust you with something they may deem so horrible.[/QUOTE]

I'd break up with them. That's a huge secret to keep from someone, especially if you go in to the relationship knowing that you are like that. Also, she would be a man after the surgeries and whatnot, and I wouldn't want to deal with that, I'm not attracted to men. I don't really think it's wrong or anything, but I just couldn't be married to a man.

Support them, stay with them.

I am not going to lie, if they won't trust me with everything, there can't be relationship no matter what their gender is/gonna be.

How the hell could you be in this scenario and not be okay with it? You'd have to be really damn ignorant to not notice that your partner has been going through years of therapy, and they'd most likely tell you regardless. What kind of idiot would start a long-term relationship with a transgender despite not being okay with this fact?

[QUOTE=Aredbomb;35073598]How the hell could you be in this scenario and not be okay with it? You'd have to be really damn ignorant to not notice that your partner has been going through years of therapy, and they'd most likely tell you regardless. What kind of idiot would start a long-term relationship with a transgender despite not being okay with this fact?[/QUOTE] The question made no sense at the start. No one would get in a relation ship with a person that is going through transgender unless he/she is okay with it. In my case I ditch the relationship pretty much as soon as possible but still try to be friends with him/her.

While I'd be angry that he hid this from me, Id accept who he was and continue the relationship After all, I love him. Personality is the most important thing. Gender and looks is just a bonus to go along. And if you lose those bonuses, Then oh well, they are still the person you love and know.

[QUOTE=QueenSasha24;35073415]Wow, you can smell the transphobia coming from these threads a mile away. Would half of your seriously DIVORCE someone over this? I'm fairly certain that this isn't something that pops up over night, the process takes YEARS to do and yet you act like they would just show up one day changed. If you loved someone and committed yourself to them with marriage, and they committing themselves as well, don't you think they'd have to have a pretty good reason to keep it from you?[/QUOTE] I'm leaning towards closed minded on the whole "eternal love" deal. I try to be open to it though since I obviously can't just dismiss it. Humans by nature aren't monogamous creatures. Generally a human (in its prime) gets bored of their partner after 3 or so years and wants to move on.

Everyone says stuff about how dare they keep a secret, it's not so much the secret that would make me leave them as much as it is the big fat cock they're going to get themselves.

Depends, if it is a long relationship, like someone i've been with for years? I'd probably stick with them, because by then i would of developed a type of love that can't be removed as easily. But like dating them short term, like day one to a year or few, i would leave depending on their personality. In my opinion, looks make up 1/4 of my judgment, the rest is personality when it comes to romantic interest. So it just depends on the life span and quality of the relationship.

I wouldn't be dating a transgender person in the first place. Not that I have anything against them, just don't find them attractive personally.

Serious train wreck of posts on page one. Shape up from here on.

I don't really understand the question? So wait, is it that they were trans before you met and they were just pre-any surgery and you just didn't know? Or is it that they realize they were trans and are now going and transitioning?

[QUOTE=Treybuchet;35074158]I don't really understand the question? So wait, is it that they were trans before you met and they were just pre-any surgery and you just didn't know? Or is it that they realize they were trans and are now going and transitioning?[/QUOTE] I don't think the OP understands how these things work.

Get away from them as fast as I could. I'm a straight man and I plan to keep it that way.

[QUOTE=sam6420;35074195]I think a relationship requires sexual attraction as well as intellectual attraction. Somebody who you only have a sexual attraction to is a fuck buddy. Somebody who you only have a mental attraction to is a friend. Somebody with both is a partner. That's how I see it at least.[/QUOTE] That's actually a pretty good way to describe it.

you really have no position to judge a person in this manner, and if both of you can maintain a healthy relationship, then why bother breaking up at all if you think about it, making it sex-drived and discriminating against your loved one just because their hoo-hah is pretty low

To be really short about it, if they want to be a man, that's fine with me; but I loved them for who they were, and not who they're going to become. I shouldn't be forced into a gay relationship or anything, that'd be unfair for me. So yeah, it'd be divorce time for me; besides, if they're changing their sex and not listening to my concerns, they probably don't care much for me in the first place.

i'm not mature enough to honestly answer this question i think.

[QUOTE=Aman VII;35073160]Break up. [editline]10th March 2012[/editline] How's it intolerant? What I'm supposed to just say "oh cool" when my girlfriend just shows up one day with a beard and dick?[/QUOTE] yeah that's totally how it works you transphobic asshole

[QUOTE=Aman VII;35073160] What I'm supposed to just say "oh cool" when my girlfriend just shows up one day with a beard and dick?[/QUOTE] life isn't a 20 minute sitcom where characters have random changes for comedic effect.

[QUOTE=thisispain;35074631]life isn't a 20 minute sitcom where characters have random changes for comedic effect.[/QUOTE] well you caught me I didn't really fully read the OP properly. So its a subtle noticeable change over a period of time? My previous opinion still stands.