Shit you've overheard - Did he really just say that? - General

...is a big dick. Why don't you put spiders in his pants when he is getting a blowjob? Heard it when i was driving around in the trolleybus.

On the way to the skatepark guy on the right: "You should jack him" *Looks towards my friend on the bike* guy on the left "Nah man, I don't need another bike" :tinfoil:

In the hallway, on the way to lunch (in middle school): "Oh my god she's a virgin? Those are so expensive..."

[QUOTE=Metherat;38210119]In the hallway, on the way to lunch (in middle school): "Oh my god she's a virgin? Those are so expensive..."[/QUOTE] Wasn't it decided that the price of virginity for a female is like $700,000

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;38210709]Wasn't it decided that the price of virginity for a female is like $700,000[/QUOTE] No, that was just what the final result for one chick's virginity on auction

"isn't Obama the president of like...everything?" legitimate question from fat chick in history

oh god, i remember doing this stuff on purpose at the street with some friends. we were just walking around, and when some people approached to us, we started talking stuff like "yeah dude, that vagina was so smelly" "yeah it smelled like penis" it always went for something like that, with black/latin accents and sophisticated words. what the fuck

YOU PUT YOUR PENIS ON MY SHOULDER ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS

*stumble into class* "She sucked your tiny cock, eh?"

I also once heard my [url=http://www.facepunch.com/members/440820-Native-Hunter]cousin[/url] say that if a man sucks his own dick he'll catch HIV/AIDs

"Kindness is all you really need" From two grad students.

"I want my man to take me to an expensive place like Waffle house." Ghetto girls say the darnedest things.

I was listening to CBC Toronto radio today... "[...]and she shitted it out[...]"

Getting off a roller coaster: Black kid 1 : it was fun and scary mang Black kid 2; hell yeah dawg.

Waiting outside the toilets for my friend after seeing the avengers: Teenage kid 1: I didn't understand what was happening Teenage kid 2: Yeah, that's just how they make films nowadays Teenage kid 1: I didn't like wonderwoman

"...yeah, man! I shit you not, SIX of those things straight up the pooper."

"if ur da reel slim shady pleze stand up, yeah i knew that song before you so u can bend over and eat my shit"

I don't go out so I never overhear anyone say anything.

in college chemistry "what's HCl stand for?" while talking about hydrochloric acid: "the teacher said we should taste it" "really?" oh and, kids across from me don't know what sulfate/nitrate mean. we're halfway through the semester. i got to listen to the girl quoted talk for ten minutes about how the class is harder for her because she's never taken chemistry before.

Sitting between two stereotypical black kids my age on one of those rides at a fair - the ones that lift up, then drop really quickly, just to stop before it hits the ground. After it, one turns to the other and says "Man, I thought shit was going to come out of my mouth!"

I went to a Wal-Mart and there was this family and the youngest son bumps into me with his cart and I hear his father say "What the f-f-f-fuck!?"

Sat in a lecture hall and heard two guys behind me talking: "We were in Frankie & Bennys and my mate orders a burger with no cheese, the waitress must have misheard him or some shit 'cause she gave him a burger with spaghetti in it" I burst out laughing.

A mother and 3-4-year-old on a bus a few seats in front of me. The kid burped really loud. Mother: "What do you say?" Kid: "I burped!" Mother: "I know, what do you say when you burp?" Kid, oblivious to the manners lesson: "I like burping. Do you like burping mummy?" Mother: "No, it's rude." Kid: "Yes you do! I heard you last night, with your friends" Mother: "Shush" Kid: "Laughing and burping and singing..." I was silently pissing myself.

At Microcenter, I heard an employee jokingly tell a customer who'd asked for directions to the bathroom say "Don't forget to empty the bucket when you're done!". That was a great moment.

GAME employee: Alicia Keys looks like a pornstar, but only when she's pretending to be white.

Walking through the hallway in School: "No you cannot have a pet Mexican."

Was in a pub and heard an elderly man say something about the BBC wasting millions of license payer's money to make those hippos swim around in circles

"The only really moral building that comes to mind is bridges."

girl on my bus is really pissed off and nearly got in a fight "HMMMM GIRL IF DAT BITCH CAME ONE STEP CLOSER SHE'D BE 10 INCHES UNDER" that's a shallow fucking grave

"You know, he has a nice ass." :v: