Shit you've overheard - Did he really just say that? - General

In the queue at Subway: "What's the difference between plain and pepper cheese?" Are you for fucking real right now?

Friend:"Can guys get pregnants?" Me:"No." Friend:"Yes, by taking it in the butt and the baby grows in the stomach." :I

"If it's fast it's just having sex, but if it's slow it's making love." "So did you guys go fast or slow?" "I went slow, he went fast."

I shit you not, my sister and I were waiting in line for a movie when we see a bunch of guys walking by, and one said, "And at this point, my hand was like, completely up her ass..."

Guy who sits behind me in class starts talking to a Korean girl. "So, is it true that you guys eat dogs?"

Teacher: In old China they thought that earth was shaped as a square for a while, but today we know that earth is round. Pupil: What!? Since when is the earth round? And this was in College!

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;38271748]I heard a dude saying that to another dude. "man shut the fuck up you are such a niggerface" They were both white :I[/QUOTE] it'd make sense to not want to say that to a black person.

"... rub you dick on the other side of you hands, it feels so [I][B][U]GOOD[/U][/B][/I]" Even the people already there were wondering why.

''What's next after them faggots get married?'' ''Chicks making out with cows in bars?!''

-Insert made up story here-

This by some greasy russian-looking guy talking on a phone in a cheap apartment project, where I was working as a security guard. "If you don't have my money for me by next week, I'm going to send my guys over to teach you a lesson. You know I know where you live."

[QUOTE=archangel125;38272239]This by some greasy russian-looking guy talking on a phone in a cheap apartment project, where I was working as a security guard. "If you don't have my money for me by next week, I'm going to send my guys over to teach you a lesson. You know I know where you live."[/QUOTE] how frightening.

[QUOTE=Y'all.;38272324]how frightening.[/QUOTE] Totally true, though. But if the guy's a criminal, he's small-time. Not sharp enough to be higher up.

"Do British people speak British?"

"I can speak chinese, 'ching chong chogasnsklgalasjkknm( random gibberish that isn't chinese)"

''Yeah, no joke. I was talking to my grandma about prune juice and I accidentally said poon juice.'' Heard this on the bus.

"I like to go number 2 when I'm full." "You know, I heard Donald Trump's penis is..." i love airports

We started HTML Programing today. "Welcome to the internet." "That's the third time I heard that from you, Nick."

"He had a bag of semen and he told me to put my hand in it so I did. I didn't know it was semen."

"i just learned something" "what" "the sun is a star" "wow"

"If a man wants to become a woman, he's only got one shot with the hatchet"

"What music do you like?" "Me? Uhm. J-Pop?" "What's J-Pop?" "...Music." "Ew. K-Pop's better." = =

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;38211364]oh god, i remember doing this stuff on purpose at the street with some friends. we were just walking around, and when some people approached to us, we started talking stuff like "yeah dude, that vagina was so smelly" "yeah it smelled like penis" it always went for something like that, with black/latin accents and sophisticated words. what the fuck[/QUOTE]I'm kind of similar; but I just keep track of how shady something I'm doing [i]could[/i] be, and play the part incompetently if someone gets within earshot at the exact right moment. My favorite one so far was probably when me and a friend were lugging cut plants out of the backyard in huge, black garbage bags when a jogger strolled by. "Man, it's such a goddamn chore to get rid of bodie-PLANT LIFE!" "Plant life." "Not a body."

When I was at the bus once a guy answered his phone: "Uhmm yeah, no, I don't know, I can't talk right now I'm at the church. I AM AT THE CHURCH! Gotta hang up I can't talk, shhhh" Note: The bus was almost full, shaking, you could hear the high traffic outside the horns and everything. Pure genius.

About 20 seconds ago: "Lucas just ingested it dude!" followed by laughing. That sounds... innocuous enough, I guess.

"Hey, Jessica." "Yeah Stacy?" "I got my cooter pierced" "Awesome!" Fucking math class.

Towards the end of class everyone's gathering by the door chatting. I overhear this pretty black girl talking to her friend. - "I wish I had beautiful brown skin, like Dann over here." I'm Dann and I was very flattered. First day in Astronomy class my teacher's talking about Newton when some girl raises her hand. -"Uhm, who's this Newton guy you're talking about anyway, is he even related to this class?" Everyone with a brain laughed their ass off. Walking behind some girl at the end of the school day whose ass was bouncing up and down when she walked when suddenly this black guy I was walking next to spoke up. -"Damn, that is a nice ass ehehehehe." And looks at me while I'm trying not to laugh. Suddenly the girl turns around and I wipe my smirk off my face.

Walking home from school, passing a few kids, "Dan turn around, there's a black guy behind you!" Those kids were black too.

'I watch my little pony, it's a good show' I cringed.

[QUOTE=Johnny Guitar;38310402]'I watch my little pony, it's a good show' I cringed.[/QUOTE] Uh what. I don't know what to think of this post.